Throughout this series, we’ve explored various aspects of self-silencing: the fear of being judged by those we care about, the worry of angering or upsetting people, being unsure you could defend your ideas, the feeling of not being good enough, and the worry that our ideas are insignificant.

These are the most common barriers that prevent us from expressing our true selves.

But the big question remains: how do we break through these barriers? How do we find our voice and use it confidently?

In this episode we’ll summarise the methods I’ve shared in previous episodes and introduce a powerful tool – the 'What If' game. This game is a transformative approach to reframe your mindset and begin to overcome self-silencing.

The 'What If' Game is a tool that involves flipping your fears on their head. Instead of asking, 'What if I’m judged?' ask, 'What if my ideas are embraced?' It’s about exploring the positive possibilities that can come from expressing yourself.

In my mini-book 'Stop Self-Silencing' I offer two more powerful tools, and guide you through understanding and overcoming self-silencing.

But if you’re looking for ongoing support, I’ve created The Visibility Lab mini membership. It’s a community where you can access resources, connect with like-minded individuals, and find support as you work on showing up authentically in your life and impact journey.

The Lab includes videos, post prompts, and quarterly visibility challenges to help you start showing up and speaking out on social media and beyond. I hope to see you inside!

This feeling of inadequacy, or the nagging thought that we're somehow not qualified enough, or we aren't worthy of sharing our thoughts or opinion, is more personal to reason 3; feeling our ideas are insignificant. That’s because it’s more about our self-worth and identity rather than the external reception of our ideas.

It's where you might have valuable insights or unique experiences to share, but a voice inside your head is whispering doubts like 'Who am I to say this?' or 'They’ve been doing it for much longer than me, so what right do I have to talk about it.'

These doubts are more than just concerns about the relevance of our ideas; they are reflections of how we perceive ourselves in relation to others, especially in terms of experience, expertise, and worthiness.

This feeling isn’t just about a lack of confidence; it's deeper than that. It's about questioning our very right to speak up and be heard. It's as if there's an unspoken rule or standard that we believe we haven't met, and therefore, we sideline ourselves in conversations and discussions.

Overcoming this feeling of starts with challenging the 'Fairness Fallacy' - the belief that only the 'best' and 'most qualified' have the right to speak or be heard.

It's about recognising that everyone, including you, has the right to share their thoughts and experiences. Your perspectives are valid, not because of some external validation, but because they are uniquely yours.

Practising self-affirmation can be a really powerful tool here. Remind yourself regularly that your thoughts and opinions matter. Affirmations like 'My voice is valuable' or 'My experiences are worth sharing', can help to rewire the negative thought patterns that you have that are holding you back.

Want more help and support on your visibility journey? Visit fifimason.com/tvl to learn more and take the first step towards a more visible, empowered, and authentic you.

Perhaps you have a thought or an opinion, but hold back from sharing it, not because you don't believe in it, but because you're not sure if you could defend it in a debate or discussion.

This hesitation is common in environments where we feel less confident, whether it's in a professional setting, a social gathering, or even online.

Part of this fear stems from not wanting to engage in conflict. Many of us naturally shy away from situations that could lead to disagreements or arguments.

We might worry about the emotional toll it could take or the potential damage to relationships, especially if the discussion becomes heated or confrontational. This avoidance of conflict can often leave us silent, even when we have valuable insights to share.

Then there is the paralysing fear of not being able to defend our ideas. It's rooted in the worry that we might be put on the spot, questioned, or even challenged, and that we won't have the right words or the depth of knowledge to back up our stance or point of view.

It’s like having a voice but being unsure of its strength or its reach. The concern here isn’t necessarily about the validity of our ideas, but more about our ability to articulate and justify them when faced with opposition or scrutiny.

One way to move past this is by adopting a mindset of curiosity and learning rather than seeing discussions as battles to be won.

It's about transitioning from a defensive position to one of exploration.

When you share an idea and someone challenges it, instead of feeling threatened, view it as an opportunity to deepen your understanding or refine your perspective. Encourage questions and be open to different points of view.

Want more help and support on your visibility journey? Visit fifimason.com/tvl to learn more and take the first step towards a more visible, empowered, and authentic you.

Have you ever hesitated to share your opinion, a story about your life, or to add your two-cents because you thought it didn't matter?

Have you kept your ideas to yourself, believing they weren't good enough or wouldn't make an impact?

Maybe you’ve been about to say something or post on social media, you have thoughts like, 'Why would anyone care?’, ‘Why would they listen to me?’, ‘Nothing I have to say is that unique or interesting’, and ‘What I have to say has probably already been said before.’

These thoughts are more common than you might realise, especially for us quieter types, who are naturally introspective and aren’t used to sharing our inner thoughts as openly or as readily.

So how do we overcome this feeling?

I want to share with you one of my Impact Rules; one of the rules that guides me and my approach to showing up.

The rule is: Approach new things with an experimental mindset, treating them as opportunities for learning and growth. Also known as: The Experiment Mentality.

This encourages you to approach posting something on social media or doing something new in your business as an experiment.

Instead of feeling the pressure to get it "perfect," you're simply testing a hypothesis and gathering data. You’re just putting things out there to see what sticks.

Want more help and support on your visibility journey? Visit fifimason.com/tvl to learn more and take the first step towards a more visible, empowered, and authentic you.

Have you ever found yourself walking on eggshells and silencing your own voice just to keep those around you comfortable?

This is often a challenge for those of us who are more empathetic and naturally tuned into the emotions of others.

We often end up carrying the weight of not just our feelings but those of everyone around us.

It’s like being an emotional sponge, absorbing the mood and atmosphere, and feeling a deep sense of responsibility to manage and maintain harmony.

You might find yourself adjusting your words, actions, even your presence, to ensure everyone else is comfortable and happy.

You might worry that you’ll upset someone by what you say - maybe that the content will trigger them in some way, or that if they don’t agree and find it offensive it will make them angry.

When it comes to sharing things about your business, more promotional ‘salesy’ content - you might hold back because you don’t want people to be annoyed by sharing an offer, or to perhaps irritate them by sending ‘too many’ emails or posting too much about it.

So how do we navigate this?

Breaking this cycle starts with awareness and then, action. It’s about recognising that our role isn't to be the emotional guardian for everyone.

We can be empathetic and supportive, but not at the cost of our own emotional health. A key step here is learning to establish healthy boundaries – understanding where our responsibility ends and someone else’s begins.

To help with this I have a practical tool that can help you manage the sense of over-responsibility you might feel. You can find all the links in this episode here > fifimason.com/ep6

Have you ever avoided sharing a personal experience or a strong opinion that might not sit well with your family, friends, or peers?

This fear is especially common in people who are naturally more reserved. It's born out of the concern that our authentic self, if different from what people are accustomed to, might lead to judgment or misunderstanding.

There's this underlying worry that being our true selves might alter how we're perceived by those whose opinions we value deeply.

It's different from the concern about what strangers think. With strangers, we can often brush off their judgments. But with family, friends, industry peers, or clients, their perception of a 'new' side of us carries more weight.

You might fear that family will question your changed perspectives or that friends might distance themselves.

There’s also the concern that professional peers or clients might view you differently for your beliefs or experiences, which could impact your livelihood.

Often, this fear is just that – a fear, a perception in our minds rather than a reality. But it holds power over how we express ourselves.

For more insights and additional reframing techniques like this, don’t forget to check out my mini-book 'Stop Self-Silencing.'

Want more help and support on your visibility journey? Visit fifimason.com/tvl to learn more and take the first step towards a more visible, empowered, and authentic you.

Self-silencing can subtly creep into our lives, often without us even noticing. It’s often the voice in the back of our heads telling us to stay quiet, to not rock the boat.

It limits our potential to connect genuinely, to make meaningful impact, and to grow as individuals.

It's an innate fear, and while this fear can sometimes serve as a protective mechanism, alerting us to real dangers, it often oversteps its bounds. It holds us back from expressing ourselves, from taking risks that could lead to growth.

It's important to recognise when fear is acting as a guardian and when it's acting as a gatekeeper to our self-expression.

The key is to recognise when fear is serving a purpose and when it's merely holding us back from expressing our true selves. It's about listening to our fear, understanding its roots, and then making a rational decision about whether it's a genuine warning or an irrational barrier.

To help with identifying why you self-silence, check out the What’s Holding Your Back? Self-Silencing Quiz.

Want more help and support on your visibility journey? Visit fifimason.com/tvl to learn more and take the first step towards a more visible, empowered, and authentic you.

I want to start with a quote from my mini-book Stop Self-Silencing, which defines what self-silencing is perfectly:

Self-silencing can be a challenge in any stage of life, any stage of business. In fact, each stage can come with different challenges, since we may feel we have more to lose, further to fall or a larger platform to influence.

The first step to stopping self-silencing is recognising that the wall exists. It's about turning on the headlights and looking deeply at what is holding you back.

It’s also a journey, to learn to trust yourself, know that you have valuable ideas to contribute, that people need to hear them, and to know that if they do hear them that it could help them in some ways.

You might make them smile, you help them see things differently, you might wake them up to something they didn’t realise about themselves, or the world.

Want more help and support on your visibility journey? Visit fifimason.com/tvl to learn more and take the first step towards a more visible, empowered, and authentic you.