I was speaking with someone and the person said the following, "I don't want anyone to know what I'm going through because I'm embarrassed that I allowed it to happen and I don't want anyone to see my scars." Although we may not utter these exact words, I do believe some of us relate to this experience. We are ashamed of the formation of scars resulting from living in a fallen world filled with imperfect and wounded people. Instead of feeling whole, we feel broken and fragmented wondering how we will be put back together again. Many of us experience what one writer coined as "uninvited brokenness." www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

July has been designated as BIPOC Mental Health Awareness month. The pervasiveness of racism and many other "isms" adversely affect the mental health of this group. Research shows that intergenerational and historical trauma, racial oppression leads to specific mental health needs. However, due to barriers such as health inequities, socio-economic disparities, stigma, and lack of cultural competency by some providers, they often do not receive the assistance needed to address and effectively manage such mental health issues.

The causes of stagnation are pervasive and the consequences may last for a long period of time. Stagnation has such consequences as cognitive and physical decline, discontent, and a lack of quality interpersonal relationships. The cost of stagnation may far outweigh the discomfort induced by change and trying something new. There are also some strategies to may assist in decreasing stagnation. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Stagnation has been defined as the "state of not flowing or moving, lack of activity, growth, and development as well as a situation in which something stays the same." Generativity vs. Stagnation is one of the stages in Erikson's theory of psychosocial development. This particular stage is connected to finding meaning and purpose in life which may cultivate contentment and gratitude or dissatisfaction and hopelessness. Stagnation has several causes and consequences. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

"Those things we do not deal with will deal with us" is a statement I repeat to individuals engaging in avoidance strategies. Avoidance strategies may bring temporary relief but they also hinder many from learning effective coping strategies. Gradual exposure is one strategy used to confront fearful situations by allowing individuals to start at the least anxiety provoking situation towards the goal of overcoming the feared situation. Empowerment is cultivated by effectively managing situations instead of avoiding them. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Avoidance is a short-term coping strategy that induces a cycle of increasing anxiety symptoms rather than reducing them. It is normal to avoid uncomfortable thoughts, emotions, and sensations, but there is a cost. As someone stated, "Short-term gain, but long-term loss." There are certain strategies that inform the avoidance trap such as distraction, denial, projection, and safety behaviors such as withdrawing from people, places, and situations. These tools work which is why they are widely used, but they also serve as a double edge sword for long-term healing and restoration. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Happy Father's day to all those dads that are investing in the lives of their children and families. Today may be a day of joy and celebration for some as well as a day of sadness, anger, and grief for others. The God within Christianity is often referred to as Father and even Daddy "abba", however, this reference may also trigger a variety of emotions. Some may contrast and compare God with their earthly fathers, the good, the bad, and the ugly. God has many attributes and one to highlight is that He is relational. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Avoidance may be considered a main ingredient many individuals use when navigating some of life's difficult, uncomfortable, and painful moments. "It's normal to avoid or push away whatever feels intense or uncomfortable" (TherapistAid). Avoidance does offer some relief which is why many use it as a coping strategy. However, the relief is temporary and it often induces a string of events that may worsen depressive and anxiety symptoms. Let's talk about the Avoidance Trap. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com