That's Where I'm At

By: Laura Richards
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  • Summary

  • Welcome to "That's Where I'm At" with your host, Laura Richards! Join Laura Richards, a survivor of narcissistic abuse with 33 years experience, as she guides you through the journey of identifying, healing from, and thriving after emotional and psychological abuse. With a mission to raise awareness, foster emotional recovery, and empower you to love yourself, Laura brings honesty, compassion, and a touch of humor to every episode. Dive into deep, meaningful conversations, tackle tough topics, and uncover moments of hope and healing. Our supportive community is here for you, offering insights, support, and a shared path to recovery and empowerment. Subscribe now and be part of a transformative journey that’s messy, real, and truly inspiring!
    2023
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Episodes
  • Being Loved Shouldn't Hurt: Breaking Free from Toxic Love with Stephanie

    Being Loved Shouldn't Hurt: Breaking Free from Toxic Love with Stephanie
    Sep 4 2024
    In this l episode, Laura speaks with Stephanie McPhail, M.S., an expert in toxic relationship recovery. With a Double Masters Degree in Health and Education, a Bachelor in Psychology, and certifications as a Crisis Counselor and Coach, Stephanie brings a wealth of knowledge to the conversation. As a Reiki Practitioner and author of the bestselling "Being Loved Shouldn't Hurt" book and workbook, she specializes in helping professional women rediscover themselves after toxic divorces or breakups. Stephanie, who has been interviewed on FOX and featured in New York Weekly, hosts a weekly cable show, "Kick Unhealthy Relationships to the Curb." She serves on the CORE counsel of Experts for Avaiya University and on the board of a non-profit. Today, she shares the complexities of healing after abusive relationships, discussing red flags, trauma bonding, and the critical importance of self-work. Stephanie shares important insights from both her personal experiences and her professional work, offering guidance on how women can rebuild their lives and find happiness, whether single or in a relationship. Timestamps: [05:04] Recognizing toxic patterns in various relationships [05:25] The importance of communication in relationships [08:53] Benefits of assertive communication in relationships [10:06] Benefits of rebuilding self-esteem after toxic relationships [15:39] Why people stay in unhealthy relationships [21:14] Understanding cognitive dissonance and trauma bonding [23:36] How narcissists can manipulate and control their partners [28:28] Focusing on self-healing rather than obsessing over the abuser [35:56] Building self-esteem and learning to set healthy boundaries [49:06] The importance of getting comfortable being alone Quotes: It's one of those things that we don't even realize how much it's affecting every area of our lives until we start doing the work and we're like I need to do something different here. And you're right. I think as soon as we start working on us, the people that have been taking advantage of those lack of boundaries don't like to stick around. You can either feel uncomfortable now or feel uncomfortable later. And if you feel uncomfortable later, that that tends to mean that we've been feeling uncomfortable for a long time and more bad things have happened.I think as soon as we start working on us, the people that have been taking advantage of those lack of boundaries don't like to stick around.We have to get really careful. 'Cause it can be a really slippery slope. We don't wanna live in researching about narcissism. We don't wanna become experts in narcissism because then you're just giving them more time and space.You can either feel uncomfortable now or feel uncomfortable later. And if you feel uncomfortable later, that tends to mean that we've been feeling uncomfortable for a long time and more bad things have happened. RESOURCES: MARRIED TO A “NICE” GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/ FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com BOOKS & JOURNALS: https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards RESOURCES FOR YOUR HEALING: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/resources FOLLOW STEPHANIE: Gift/book a call: Beinglovedshouldnthurt.com/thrive-guide 15 minute discovery call and free resources: https://www.beinglovedshouldnthurt.com/links Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beinglovedshouldnthurt/ Personal FB: https://www.facebook.com/stephanie.mcphail.10 FB Page: https://www.facebook.com/BeingLovedShouldntHurt Podcast: toxiclovepodcast.com Website: beinglovedshouldnthurt.com Book is available on the website or Amazon: Being Loved Shouldn’t Hurt
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    57 mins
  • One Year of Healing: Celebrating the Anniversary of That’s Where I’m At Podcast

    One Year of Healing: Celebrating the Anniversary of That’s Where I’m At Podcast
    Aug 29 2024

    Join Laura as she celebrates the one-year anniversary of the "That's Where I’m At" Podcast! In this special episode, Laura reflects on the incredible journey she’s been on since launching her show, created out of a deep need to connect with women recovering from narcissistic abuse. From the first episode to becoming a top 5% podcast, Laura shares how her mission to provide a safe space for women to speak their truths has evolved, the power of using her voice, and what's next on the horizon.

    In this Episode, You’ll Hear About:

    • Laura’s Journey: Discover how Laura turned her pain into purpose by creating a community for women recovering from narcissistic abuse, and why talking openly about these experiences is so vital.
    • Finding Your Voice: Laura discusses her own healing process and how reclaiming her voice has empowered her and her listeners.
    • What’s Next for the Podcast: Learn about Laura’s plans for future episodes, new collaborations, and upcoming projects, including a collaborative book and audiobook versions of her works.
    • The Power of Storytelling: Why it’s essential to tell your story, how it helps in moving forward, and debunking myths like “living in the past” that abusers use to silence survivors.
    • How to Support the Podcast: From leaving reviews to joining her private Facebook group, Laura shares how you can continue to support her mission and connect with a like-minded community.

    Resources Mentioned:

    • Books by Laura: Explore Laura’s healing resources, including “There is Hope: 52 Keys to Healing After Divorce” and “Married to a ‘Nice’ Guy: Getting Over Narcissistic Abuse.”
    • Amazon Storefront: Find recommended books, journals, and resources curated by Laura to aid in your healing journey.
    • Private Facebook Group: Join “Married to a Nice Guy” for a safe and supportive community.

    Connect with Laura:

    • Website: thatswhereimatpodcast.com
    • Social Media: Follow, like, and share on all major platforms to spread the message of hope and recovery.
    • Leave a Review: Your feedback on Apple, Spotify, and Amazon helps the podcast reach more survivors and build our community.

    Thank you for your incredible support over the past year! Your downloads, shares, and kind words have made this journey possible. Remember, your voice matters. Keep sharing your story because someone out there needs to hear it.

    RESOURCES:

    MARRIED TO A “NICE” GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE

    PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/

    FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com

    BOOKS & JOURNALS: https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards

    RESOURCES FOR YOUR HEALING: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/resources
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    14 mins
  • Unmasking the Jokers: Our Guide to Overcoming Toxic Relationships

    Unmasking the Jokers: Our Guide to Overcoming Toxic Relationships
    Aug 23 2024
    In today's episode, Laura is joined by Monaca Vanderpool, an international podcast host, bestselling author, and highly successful entrepreneur. Monaca shares her journey through personal adversities, including a 13-year toxic relationship, an unexpected health diagnosis, and the challenges of single parenthood. She discusses how these experiences led her to write "Jokers Dressed Up As Kings" and create "The Glitch Mob Podcast" to support others navigating toxic relationships. Monaca highlights the importance of understanding narcissistic traits and behaviors, emphasizing the power of going "no contact" with toxic ex-partners and the effectiveness of "gray rocking" when communication is unavoidable. She also touches on the healing power of journaling and the value of sharing one's story to help others. They both stress the importance of authenticity in storytelling and not letting others' opinions silence them. They further touch on the challenges of co-parenting with a narcissist and offer helpful advice for maintaining boundaries. Join the conversation now! Together, we can break the cycle of toxic relationships and empower each other to reclaim our lives. Your story matters, and your voice deserves to be heard. Join our community of survivors and thrivers today! Timestamps: [01:38] Monaca’s background and her journey [03:04] The importance of putting words to pain in healing [05:44] How strong, independent women can be targets for narcissists [07:34] Link between narcissistic abuse and the manipulation tactics used in cults [14:56] The freedom of and joy of leaving narcissistic relationships [15:36] How narcissists recycle romantic gestures as part of their love-bombing tactics [18:15] The importance of journaling in healing from narcissistic abuse [19:04] The positive impact of one person's courage on another's healing [23:03] Importance of keeping a list of abusive behaviors [27:42] The need to talk about narcissism and its impacts [29:56] How to handle communication with an ex when co-parenting [33:56] The gray rocking technique in managing communication with an ex [41:12] Monaca’s plans for speaking engagements and outreach Quotes: It's beautiful to have a strong, independent woman who has a powerful voice, but unfortunately, that makes us targets.Healing is not linear. Healing is so messy.Be yourself. When I started doing that, I started attracting people who wanted to hear what I had to say. Gray rocking feels good because you have become a better person. You do rise. You rise above it, and you become a better person. And it just feels good.You are not a victim of sharing your story. You're a survivor. Setting the world on fire with your truth. You never know who needs your light, your warmth and rage and courageWe all have a story to tell. And you're allowed to tell your story. That doesn't mean you're living in the past. And that's a manipulative word phrase to say to people. That's what toxic people say, to keep people quiet, that you're talking about the past.The beauty of the gray rocking is that they eventually lose interest because they know you won't react to them. So you're protecting your peace. Resources Connect with Laura on: MARRIED TO A “NICE” GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/ FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com BOOKS & JOURNALS: https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards RESOURCES FOR YOUR HEALING: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/resources BOOK COVER DESIGN ARTIST: https://amandapottsdesigns.com/ Connect with Monaca on: FOLLOW MONACA: https://monacavanderpool.com/ JOKERS DRESSED UP AS KINGS: https://monacavanderpool.com/bookmonica/ OUR FAMILY WIZARD co-parenting app
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    45 mins
Psychology Hygiene & Healthy Living Personal Success
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