The Covert Narcissism Podcast

By: Renee Swanson Bleav
  • Summary

  • Covert narcissistic abuse crushes one’s soul. This podcast is devoted to understanding covert narcissistic abuse, its effect on the victims, and how to heal.
    Renee Swanson
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Episodes
  • From Falling Apart to Fighting Back: A Raw Divorce Story with Andrea from How Not to Suck at Divorce
    Apr 17 2025

    What happens when the fairy tale was never a fairy tale to begin with?

    In this powerful episode, Renee Swanson is joined by Andrea, the candid and courageous voice behind the hit podcast How Not to Suck at Divorce. Andrea doesn’t just share her story—she lays it all out. The red flags she ignored. The justifications she clung to. The slow unraveling of her identity. The physical collapse that finally forced her to confront the truth.

    Together, Renee and Andrea dive deep into:

    • The invisible trauma of covert emotional abuse

    • How your childhood shapes the dysfunction you tolerate

    • The cost of trying to “make it work” while losing yourself

    • Why the hardest part isn’t leaving—it’s everything that comes after

    • The importance of creating a plan... and what happens when it all falls apart

    Andrea’s brutal honesty, dark humor, and heartfelt wisdom remind us that healing starts with bravery—and that no matter how broken you feel, there is a way through.

    💬 “Your life will never get better unless you get brave.” — Andrea

    This episode is a must-listen for anyone feeling stuck, scared, or unsure about whether change is even possible. You’re not alone. And your future can look nothing like your past.

    👉 Listen now—and get ready to feel seen.
    👉 Then hop over to How Not to Suck at Divorce for even more practical tools and fierce support.

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    24 mins
  • Conversations I Wish I Had with My Covert Narcissist
    Apr 13 2025

    In this episode, we’re diving into the conversations I wish I could have had with the covert narcissist in my life. The words I rehearsed but never said. The truths I buried for the sake of “keeping the peace.” The sarcasm I bit back. The boundaries I swallowed. All of it. Because sometimes, the only way to make sense of the madness that is covert narcissistic abuse is to talk it out—even if it’s only in your own head.

    We’re pulling back the curtain on:

    • The emotional minefield of everyday life with a covert narcissist
    • The way gaslighting turns simple moments into emotional warfare
    • The mental gymnastics of the “circular conversation”
    • The rage that gets disguised as “just a rough day”
    • The slow erosion of your voice when you’re always managing their emotions
    You’ll hear my real thoughts—the ones I kept silent because saying them out loud would’ve meant inviting more chaos, more blame, more confusion. But here? We say them. We say them all.

    This isn’t just about venting. It’s about reclaiming the space to name what happened, to validate the version of reality you know you experienced, and to remind you that you’re not crazy. You’re not too sensitive. You’re not imagining it. You’re waking up.

    So grab your tea, your journal, or just a quiet moment in your car, and let’s process together. Because your voice matters. Even if it’s shaking. Even if it’s only just starting to come back.

    ✨ Leave this episode knowing:
    You don’t have to keep tapdancing around someone else’s dysfunction to be worthy of love, safety, or peace.
    You get to stop shrinking.
    You get to stop rehearsing.
    You get to heal.

    🔗 Want support on your healing journey?
    Your story matters, and you deserve to be heard without judgment. If you’re ready to take the next step toward healing, check out my coaching services at www.covertnarcissism.com. And don’t forget to subscribe for more empowering episodes like this one.

    #covertnarcissism #gaslighting #emotionalabuse #covertnarcissist #healingjourney #narcissisticabuserecovery #reclaimyourvoice #podcastforsurvivors

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    19 mins
  • The Journey of Healing: What It Really Looks Like After Covert Narcissistic Abuse
    Apr 10 2025

    At the end of every episode, I say, “I wish you so much peace on your journey of healing.” But today, I want to pause and really talk about what that journey actually looks like—because healing from covert narcissistic abuse isn’t what most people think.

    When I first left, I believed healing meant I’d wake up one day and magically stop hurting. I thought it meant I’d feel strong and peaceful all the time. Instead, I felt confused, angry, exhausted… and sometimes even guilty for walking away.

    What I didn’t know then—but deeply understand now—is that healing isn’t a return to who you were before. That version of you doesn’t exist anymore. And that’s not a tragedy—it’s a transformation. Healing is not going back—it’s becoming.

    In this episode, I take you inside the real healing process: the grief, the guilt, the spiral staircase of progress. I unpack what we’re actually healing from—the chronic invalidation, emotional starvation, and deep erosion of self-worth that doesn’t leave bruises but leaves a lasting impact.

    You'll hear examples that hit home, like standing in the grocery store frozen by the realization that you don’t have to buy his favorite cereal anymore. Or crying in the bathroom because someone raised their voice, and it took you back. You’ll also hear what healing becomes: the moment you say no without explaining, the first night you sleep peacefully, the sound of your own laugh returning after years of silence.

    We’ll talk about:

    • Why healing is not linear—and why that’s okay
    • What it means to be on the healing path, even when it doesn’t feel like it
    • How to recognize those quiet signs that you are making progress
    • Why “being healed” isn’t a final destination—it’s a way of being
    • And why grieving who you had to be to survive is part of the process too
    If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why can’t I just move on already?”—this episode is for you. Because you’re not broken. You’re healing. And that journey deserves to be seen, honored, and spoken about with truth and tenderness.

    🔔 Listen now and remember: Healing is happening inside of you, even on the days it feels invisible.

    As always, I wish you so much peace on your journey of healing—because it’s real, it’s sacred, and so are you.

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    19 mins
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clarity...

love this podcast can finally get some form of validation for what I was experiencing.

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Empowering

Great information and stories! Eye opening not only about CNs but also healthy self reflection. Love it

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The audio Bible of covert narcissism

Wow, I can’t say enough about this podcast. As someone who has been married to a covert narc for 16 years Renee Swanson covers all the bases and checks all the boxes on CN. I had my doubts if my wife was really a CN but after listening to a few episodes I’m as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow that this is exactly what I’m dealing with. So accurate it’s scary.

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Enlightening!

This entire podcast has opened my eyes and changed my perspective on what I thought was just a normal way of living, despite feeling and knowing that something wasn't right. thank you Renee Swanson for being vulnerable and open about your life so that the FOG could be lifted from my eyes. May God continually bless you for what you are doing.

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