The Imperfects Podcast By Hugh van Cuylenburg Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg cover art

The Imperfects

The Imperfects

By: Hugh van Cuylenburg Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
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We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.2025 Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg Hygiene & Healthy Living Personal Development Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health
Episodes
  • Jess Hill - A 'love' of Control

    Jess Hill - A 'love' of Control
    Jul 20 2025
    Domestic violence is an epidemic in Australia, and Jess Hill has dedicated a good chunk of time trying to understand why. 💌 Subscribe to our newsletter, the Vulnerabilitea-mail - www.theimperfects.com.au Joining us in the Academy of Imperfection, Jess explains to Hugh, Ryan and Josh the unrelenting system of entrapment that many women find themselves in, including a detailed look at the history of coercive control, and the term ‘perspecticide’. Describing the importance of early intervention for young boys, and answering the question ‘Why don’t they just leave?’, Jess discusses with Josh the difference between guilt and shame, and the fundamental impact of these emotions. This episode is compulsory listening for everyone (obviously, it’s Jess Hill talking about one of the most significant issues in our country), but especially those who, in their quietest, most vulnerable moment, recognise themselves as a perpetrator and want to take the next steps to changing the cycle of trauma. Jess, we cannot thank you enough. If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPAi24DyWRc 🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Tarang Chawla - Men Talking About Men’s Violence - https://bit.ly/45p2aBNChanel Contos - Consensual Healing - https://bit.ly/3SSvrNDAn Imperfect Chat About Men - https://bit.ly/4n4ce9oAnother Imperfect Chat About Men - https://bit.ly/4jUHQf7 🎧Things to listen to The Trap - Why Do They Do It? - https://bit.ly/3G0H9D1 📺 Things to watch See What You Made Me Do - https://bit.ly/3STaUbWMatt Brown TedTalk - https://bit.ly/4jP1RUc 📖 Things to read See What You Made Me Do by Jess Hill - https://bit.ly/3HG8gnoThe Reckoning by Jess Hill - https://bit.ly/3FQyZNyLosing It by Jess Hill - https://bit.ly/4ni3YD8She Is Not Your Rehab by Matt Brown with Sarah Brown - https://bit.ly/45In6UzRape in Marriage by Diana E.H Russell - https://bit.ly/4n3q0JrHome Truths by Jess Hill - https://bit.ly/402SfOCThe Brain That Changes Itself by Norman Doidge - https://bit.ly/4eejITpShame and Pride by Donald Nathanson - https://bit.ly/4lsrc7VThree Planet Model by Marianne Hester - https://bit.ly/4e4sG5t 💻Things to check out Yiliyapinya - https://yiliyapinya.org.au/about/Inner Boy - She Is Not Your Rehab - Free 30 Day Program - https://bit.ly/4jPOdQA 🚨If you, or someone you know, is exhibiting behaviour that may be concerning or problematic, call MensLine on 1300 78 99 78, or No To Violence on 1300 766 491. 🚨If you feel like you are in immediate danger please call 000. If you need someone to talk to we recommend the nation24-hour national sexual assault, family and domestic violence counselling line 1800 RESPECT on 1800 732 732. 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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    1 hr and 36 mins
  • Vincent Fantauzzo - A Brush With Pain

    Vincent Fantauzzo - A Brush With Pain
    Jul 13 2025

    Art saved Vincent Fantauzzo’s life.

    💌 Subscribe to our newsletter, the Vulnerabilitea-mail - www.theimperfects.com.au

    In this episode, Vincent paints the picture of his childhood in Broadmeadows, a childhood marked with violence and abuse, and how undiagnosed dyslexia deeply affected Vincent’s ability to read and write, as well as his memory. Now known worldwide for his award winning portraits of Asher Keddie (his now wife), Julia Gillard and Heath Ledger, Vincent chats to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about the incredible father figures, role models and friends that he has connected with throughout his life, and the impact they have had on his sense of self. Vincent, this was a dream come true.

    To watch this video on YouTube (a picture paints a thousand words after all), follow this link - 🫖 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwH3A-jSd3U

    Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

    Billy Slater - Leading from the (Full)Back - https://bit.ly/45ZZfQ6

    🎨Things to check out

    Vincent’s Gallery - https://bit.ly/4n4CyAr

    ‘Heath’ Portrait - https://bit.ly/3Tp8amG

    ‘Love Face’ Portrait - https://bit.ly/4lcE4yQ

    ‘All that’s good in me’ (self-portrait as son Luca) - https://bit.ly/4kJF8u1

    📖Things to read

    Unveiled by Vincent Fantauzzo - https://bit.ly/4e3PsKO

    🚨If you, or someone you know, is struggling with thoughts surrounding suicide, suicidal ideation or self-harm, please call 000 or Life Life on 13 11 14. 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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    1 hr and 40 mins
  • Dr Emily - That Guilty Feeling

    Dr Emily - That Guilty Feeling
    Jul 6 2025

    How often do you feel guilty?

    Guiding us on a guilt trip today is our resident psychologist (and published author) Dr Emily Musgrove.

    💌 Subscribe to our newsletter, the Vulnerabilitea-mail - www.theimperfects.com.au

    Differentiating guilt from shame or regret, Dr Emily takes us back to the very beginning to explain the purpose and function of guilt as a pro-social behaviour which your cave-person ancestor probably would have used to keep them in the tribe.

    When used wisely, guilt is a useful recognition of information that can alert us when we have gone against our values or dropped our moral standards.

    However, as Dr Em explains (and people pleasers would know all too well) guilt can quickly becoming overwhelming, exhausting and make you feel like you’re always letting someone down. In this episode, Dr Em dives into the seemingly never-ending guilt of being a parent, especially a mum, as well as the guilt associated with caring for ageing parents.

    Dr Em, you’ve done it again.

    To watch this full episode on YouTube, click here - https://youtu.be/wLLJdF1edVE

    🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

    • Dr Emily - What Are Your Values? - https://apple.co/4dckMpy
    • Dr Emily - What Are Your Boundaries? - https://bit.ly/409jO91
    • Dr Emily - Truth v Harmony - https://apple.co/40pgYO7
    • Dr Emily - Who Is Your Inner Critic - https://apple.co/3XaFdw9
    • Ben Shewry - Making It Right (And Delicious) - https://bit.ly/4jPHq9F
    • Ben Shewry (Pt 1) - The Other Side of Excellence - https://apple.co/4hhc2RB
    • Ben Shewry (Pt 2) - How The Chef Was Made - https://apple.co/48hrQiQ

    📖Things to read

    • Unstuck by Dr Emily Musgrove - https://bit.ly/4bhmCp2
    • The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins - https://bit.ly/3SUcvhv
    • Good Inside by Dr Becky Kennedy - https://bit.ly/443BPXE
    • Choice Points by Russ Harris and Colleagues - https://bit.ly/4jUZjnw

    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP

    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP

    🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects

    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here apple.co/theimperfects

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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    1 hr and 17 mins
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