The Session: Family Issues

Psalm 133:1

How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!"

Family issues are when an actual or potential conflict between or related to family members becomes a constant source of negative emotions.

• When a family cannot resolve conflicts and and emotional intensity around the relationship becomes overwhelming, it can lead to symptoms of common mental health conditions such as anxiety or depression.

What Are Some Symptoms Of Family Issues?

From Pew Research Center

• Anxiety or worry: You may be frequently preoccupied with concerns about your family and struggle to focus on other things. Over an extended period, this can translate into mental health issues.
• Sadness or depression: Feelings of tension, conflict, or disconnection from your family might make you feel sad or hopeless.
• General stress: You may have trouble sleeping or experience physical symptoms including muscle tension, headaches, and digestive troubles, often time due to family worries like financial troubles or other money problems, or the inability to resolve conflicts in your own home.
• Conflicts with other loved ones: If a relationship with one person is upsetting you, you might find that issues also come up with other people you’re close to. For example, tension with a parent might make you more sensitive in your relationship with your partner. Or differences between parenting styles may affect healthy communication within the family as a whole.
• Low self-esteem: Feeling insecure or threatened within a relationship that means a lot to you can make you doubt yourself and your worth. It can lead to feelings of inferiority
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Different Kinds of Conflict

Parent/child conflict:

• Parents often play such a large part in our earliest development, issues between parents and children can be especially emotional and deeply rooted.

Issues with siblings:

• Competition, comparison, different relational styles: all of these (and many other factors) can lead to conflict with siblings.

Communication Issues

• Communication issues: You don’t feel heard; you wonder whether the other person understands you; you struggle to say what you mean. These are all forms of communication issues, a common setback in many family relationships.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: Causes of Family Stress, from Better Help

How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!" (Psalm 133:1)

Parental relationship problems

• Constant parent fighting causes unnecessary and unproductive tension in children’s lives

Finances

• Job loss, inability to work, uncontrolled spending, gambling problems, or another reason, stress and conflict related to money and bills is common.

Health Conditions

• When one or more family members is experiencing a health challenge—from a chronic physical condition to a mental illness to a disability

Toxic behaviors between family members

• Sometimes, stress or dysfunction in a family can be traced primarily to the toxic behaviors of one member. For example, someone who frequently engages in manipulation tactics, dishonesty, scapegoating, or similar behaviors can be extremely difficult or even dangerous to live with. These can be personality traits or signs of certain personality disorders.

Unaddressed trauma related to family issues

• In most cases, trauma that has not been effectively and healthily recognized, processed, and healed will cause issues in a person’s life in some way. A family unit that experiences trauma together—such as war, a natural disaster, or the sudden death of a loved one.

Unhealthy expectations

• Family members who feel pressure to conform to unhealthy and/or impossible standards may experience negative effects as a result. For example, a household where each child is expected to perform perfectly in school, never express negative emotions, or never bring up conflict can eventually cause them to disengage or lash out.

Too much or too little time together

• On the other hand, families that are so busy or live so far apart that they rarely get to spend quality time together could also end up experiencing conflict.

Poor or nonexistent communication

• Healthy, honest, frequent communication is widely considered to be the foundation of healthy relationships of all types. Families without it are likely to experience recurrent conflict as issues that arise may not be properly addressed and members may not feel heard.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: The Middle Child

Mark 10:13–16

People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.

5 characteristics of a middle child:

· They're peacemakers and pleasers.

· They're competitive.

· They try to fit in.

· They are independent and focus on friendships.

· They act out to get attention

Characteristics of a Middle Child

· Not as family-oriented as their siblings. They may have a stronger sense of not belonging than their siblings do. ...

· Feeling overshadowed. They come to believe that their parents don't care about them. ...

· Mobile. They're often the first sibling to move out of the house. ...

· Not perfectionists. ***DOES THIS MEAN THEY ARE SLOBS?***

Middle Child Personality Traits

The middle child is often a people-pleaser due to the lack of attention they get compared to older siblings and younger siblings.

You may be a people pleaser if:

*You want to avoid conflict. ...

· You fear rejection. ...

· You fear disappointing others. ...

· You want something in return. ...

· You want others to be nice to you. ...

· You want to fit in. ...

· You are easily influenced by others. ...

· You are genuinely compassionate.

What is the psychology behind the middle child?

Since they are given some level of independence, they can end up developing initiative and creativity. Researchers found that middle children also become more sociable and outgoing since they learn to assert themselves and speak their mind. They also have a chance of being as well-adjusted as their siblings.

Middle children are more independent as they gain confidence. Middle children typically have more freedom and less pressure growing up. Sometimes they can even get away with more things as a kid.

What Is Middle-Child Syndrome?

Many experts who study personality believe that your family’s birth order plays a role in your development. They see "middle-child syndrome" as the idea that if you're neither the oldest child nor the youngest, you get less attention from your parents and feel “caught in the middle”.‌

As a result, you may take on certain personality traits that are different from those of your older and younger siblings.

***THIS MAKES SENSE. YOU WANT TO FIND A WAY TO BE NOTICED***

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.