It’s officially summertime, and Andy and Greg are back with another episode of Welcome to the Suburbs—where laughter comes with legal disclaimers. Greg breaks the news about Ripple Avenue Suites’ shady former tenants (spoiler: the Asian Flower Spa lives on… in spirit and search results). And no, it wasn’t about massage—unless you were interested in a “happy ending.”

From sweepstakes winnings to glitter drywall, mouse drama at the lake house, and whether gym class was actually “PE,” the guys navigate their usual chaos with an extra side of booty dust.

Also in this episode:

• Cashier’s checks for life
• Legal advice from a practitioner who appears to be legit
• Strangers knocking at the wrong spa door
• The ethics of rodent removal
• A deep dive into chicken neglect at the Indy 500

Subscribe, laugh, and maybe check your address on Google Maps—just in case.

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What do a fourth-grade ceramic mug, Fifth Third Bank’s ridiculous math, and a suspicious $9.82 million inheritance letter have in common? Absolutely everything in this week’s episode of Welcome to the Suburbs.

Andy reads a letter from a “legal practitioner” offering him millions from a mysterious overseas relative. Greg makes a banker cry. Together they explore the emotional baggage of sentimental keepsakes, estate planning gone sideways, and why cinnamon shouldn’t smell like dust.

Also in this episode:

• The art of letting go (of spice racks)
• That awkward moment your bank greeter breaks down in tears
• Slayer’s greatest hits… and greatest tits?
• Why Roombas should never take your fast food order

Tune in for laughs, life, and legal scams.

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Greg bought another house… maybe. In this episode, Andy and Greg dive into the potential of a second Airbnb property—a rundown rental filled with broken vacuums, creepy tenants, and enough duct tape to make MacGyver proud. But is it a gold mine or a future episode of Hoarders?

Also on the docket:

• A chemical peel gone wrong

• A building inspector with stogie-and-thermos energy

• Bagging etiquette at Walmart

• And Greg’s night at the sleep study center (spoiler: no bolts in his neck)

Whether you’re into real estate, ridiculous retail encounters, or respiratory therapy, this one’s got you covered.

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In this episode, Andy and Greg dive beard-first into a tangle of hilarious and heartfelt tales—from a mysterious missing painting and a very questionable uncle, to mustache-clad IndyCar superfans and sketchy roadside motels. There’s also a dog who finally learns to eat on his own (after four years), a fish funeral that rivals ancient civilizations, and a bizarre addiction to Vicks inhalers. Whether it’s the Mustache Club, awkward hotel encounters, or getting called out at the speedway, this episode has everything you didn’t know you needed.

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Andy and Greg head back to school… art school, that is. In this episode, Greg shares his wild ride through metal sculpting, finger-welding, and an intro-to-oil-painting class taught by a barely-awake instructor. From making a fish out of scrap metal to navigating toxic paints and art-class chaos, they cover it all—with plenty of laughs (and a few bandages) along the way. Grab your smock (or your mom’s blouse) and join us for another hilarious trip to the suburbs!

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After 35 years of marriage, Greg has finally learned that guessing gifts before unwrapping them is not a love language. Even when he means well, his psychic present-sleuthing sucks the joy out of the moment. To help, he’s turned to acting classes—because pretending to be surprised is apparently a skill.

Elsewhere in suburbia:

– Greg’s double-shot vaccine appointment turns into a tequila-scented CVS horror show.

– Jennifer pays the HOA fee on time—but not a moment sooner.

– A well-intentioned meeting at the bank with his sister ends in tears… and puke.

Acting skills help, but you won’t need them to enjoy Season 3, Episode 59 of Welcome to the Suburbs.

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When Greg’s dad was alive, he was an endless source of rants. Checking in with him was like uncorking a genie of angst—30 minutes of pure frustration directed at everything from junk mail to the cost of mulch to the absurd volume of acorns. In this episode of Welcome to the Suburbs, we start with one of his classic rants—this time about Hulu.

Meanwhile, Andy shares the one minor detail he forgot before his wedding: getting legally divorced. Turns out, being emotionally divorced isn’t enough for the Indiana judicial system. Who knew?

The guys also dive into the grandparent naming debate. Greg thinks kids should choose naturally. Andy’s mom, however, insisted on being called Grandma-Ma—because apparently, she thought she was in The Sound of Music. Speaking of which, Greg would rather watch almost anything else—including movies that don’t even exist yet.

Inspired by a book from Greg’s daughter, the guys compare their top 10 movies and music albums. Andy’s take on Greg’s list? “You sound like a toddler.” And Greg’s music taste? “Basically Dave Matthews’ Greatest Hits with a couple of Zeppelin tracks to throw me off.”

Andy also just went to a vinyl record show, where the entire place smelled like a mix of old cigarettes, weed, and Grandma’s attic. He even passed on one album because it reeked so badly. Greg wondered if it was a stop smoking album—maybe the original owner didn’t even finish it before the cigarettes took them out.

What made Andy’s top 10? What’s Greg’s actual worst movie of all time? And what’s the deal with kids and weird grandparent names? Tune in to Episode 58 for all this and more!

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Greg and Andy are back in the studio for Episode 57, and things are already off the rails.

Greg and Keely are on Day 3 of a six-day grandparent experiment, babysitting their three-year-old granddaughter—and let’s just say it’s not going smoothly for Greg.

Greg, in an effort to be the fun grandpa, has reduced his granddaughter to tears multiple times—all thanks to a toy cell phone and a deep commitment to realism. He’d pretend to answer the phone, then rattle off his Social Security number, PIN, and grandmother’s maiden name before looking at her and saying:

“But she didn’t order a John Deere 700 series tractor with port and starboard attachments. Did you?”

Cue: 10 minutes of uncontrollable sobbing.

Keely laughed—until she didn’t.

“Grandpa, you’re scaring her.”

Lesson learned: Know your audience. Also, check your credit report after spending a night at Meemaw and Grandpa’s house.

Kidneys, Weddings & Questionable Life Choices

Meanwhile, their daughter Carly is off in Mexico, stying hair an event. Her husband, Matt, tagged along because, well, it’s Mexico. And he’s always wanted to wake up in a bathtub full of ice, missing a kidney.

Andy then takes the conversation in an entirely different direction: Jennifer’s wedding dress shopping adventure.

Somehow, it devolved into a My Little Pony-themed birthday party for grown women.

Long story short, Prosecco-fueled giggles led to a wedding dress that Jennifer absolutely did NOT want.

Was it bedazzled, and rainbow colored? Greg asked.

Can alterations fix a bridal regret? Maybe. But step one: Put the champagne flute down before swiping the credit card.

Britney Spears, Katy Perry & Andy’s Unwanted Pop Culture Knowledge

Turns out Andy just finished reading a book about Britney Spears. Greg, however, was subjected to an unrequested crash course in Britney’s life when Jennifer’s trashy tabloid magazine arrived in the mail.

Andy, clearly proud of his newfound knowledge, keeps dropping facts like he personally wrote her Wikipedia page.

“You should read her book,” Andy suggests, sincerely.

“NO.” Greg’s response is instant.

“How about Katy Perry?”

“Still no.”

If Greg ever reads a Britney Spears memoir, it’ll be because he’s a highly accomplished man with absolutely nothing left to do.

Final take a way from this episode, if Greg’s granddaughter opens a line of credit in his name next week, at least he’ll know she definitely didn’t order a John Deere 700 series tractor with port and starboard attachments from a toy phone.

www.suburbspodcast.com