Teen Humor

This true story - as true as Lemony Snicket himself - begins with a puzzling note under his door: You had poison for breakfast. Following a winding trail of clues to solve the mystery of his own demise, Snicket takes us on a thought-provoking tour of his predilections: the proper way to prepare an egg, a perplexing idea called “tzimtzum”, the sublime pleasure of swimming in open water, and much else.

These clean jokes will make you laugh for hours! This audiobook is perfect as a gift for your dad, bros, or as a collection of jokes to tell your kids.

So now you've heard all about me, Alcatraz Smedry, and how I was swept out of my life in your normal world and into the fight against the Librarians (jerks!). After being all heroic and stuff in that tale, I didn’t expect to charge headlong into enemy territory: the Library of Alexandria, where I—and my grandpa and my grouchy bodyguard Bastille and her even grouchier mother and some weirdly gifted cousins—run across the Curators (ghosts who will gladly help you check out a book as long as you don’t mind giving up your mortal soul) and some new nasty Librarians who hate our guts.

The Sisters Grimm books are hits with young readers and critics. In their third outing, Sabrina and Daphne confront the menace behind the family's troubles, Little Red Riding Hood. After meeting their recently returned uncle Jake, the girls embark on a harrowing quest to reconstruct the mythical vorpal blade, the only weapon capable of killing Red's pet and bodyguard, the dreaded Jabberwocky.

Henry Lambert would rather play video games than spend time in the great outdoors - but that doesn't make him a wuss. Skinny nerd? Fine. But wuss is a little harsh. Sadly, his dad doesn't agree. Which is why Henry is being shipped off to Strongwoods Survival Camp. Strongwoods isn't exactly as advertised. It looks like the victim of a zombie apocalypse, the "camp director" is a psycho drill sergeant, and Henry's sure he saw a sign written in blood...

In their fifth exploit, Sabrina and Daphne Grimm are on their own while investigating the theft of enchanted items from the Ever Afters. And if they don't solve the case, the villain behind the crimes will unleash chaos upon the residents of Ferryport Landing.

A Boston Globe-Horn Book Honor Book and ALA Notable and Best of the Year in Young Adult Fiction, Howl's Moving Castle is by acclaimed fantasy writer Diane Wynne Jones and was transformed into an Academy Award nominated animated motion picture by Hayao Miyazaki. On a rare venture out from her step-mother's hat shop, Sophie attracts the attention of a witch, who casts a terrible spell transforming the young girl into an old crone.

By day, 17-year-old Jo Kuan works as a lady's maid for the cruel daughter of one of the wealthiest men in Atlanta. But by night, Jo moonlights as the pseudonymous author of a newspaper advice column for the genteel Southern lady, "Dear Miss Sweetie". When her column becomes wildly popular, she uses the power of the pen to address some of society's ills, but she's not prepared for the backlash that follows when her column challenges fixed ideas about race and gender.

Collection of short stories featuring Hard Luck Hank and his early days on Belvaille. Print Length: 63 pages Includes: -Why Hank came to Belvaille -Hank's first job -Where Hank got his plasma pistol -Hank's first murder -Introduction of glocken -Where the Gentleman's Club and Athletic Club came from -Hank's first love -How and why Belvaille changed and became what it is today NOTE: while the stories are stand-alone, it contains many references to characters and events in Hard Luck Hank novels.

No one captures the comical absurdity of teenage angst better than #1 New York Times best-selling author Louise Rennison. Her tales featuring the self-obsessed yet irresistibly lovable Georgia Nicholson are an international sensation and have been called Bridget Jones's Diary for teens.

Do you often find yourself avoiding social situations or not pursuing opportunities out of fear of rejection? Does the thought of putting yourself out there and being vulnerable make you anxious? If so, you're not alone. Many people struggle with fear of rejection, but the good news is that it's something you can overcome with the right tools and guidance. 30 Days to Overcome Fear of Rejection is a mindfulness workbook designed to help you develop a healthy relationship with rejection and build the confidence to face it head-on. With daily exercises and guided meditations, you'll learn to ...

I just returned from the mall after school shopping with my soon-to-be sophomore and her friend. I now understand why fathers opt to go camping, roll around in elk urine, and shit in a hole rather than go to the mall three days before school starts. As if the crowds weren’t bad enough, my girl decided to wear a flannel that hung lower than her shorts, making it appear that she was walking around naked from the waist down. She was flocked by sales people, who, I am sure, were calculating their commissions in their heads. I mean, why not?

Unleash your inner Einstein with the most exhiliarating, laugh-out-loud trivia book ever written! Be catapulted on a whirlwind adventure through the zany, weird, and utterly fascinating realms of knowledge, as we take trivia to a whole new level of fun! Packed with 1,522 mind-blowing facts spanning science, history, pop culture, and more, this rip-roaring, side-splitting tome is perfect for trivia buffs and inquisitive minds of all stripes, comprising everything from the astonishing to the absurd, the hilarious to the hair-raising, and everything in between. "Brain-Boosting Facts for ...

If you've ever been in the car while a loved one was learning to drive, then think of this as cheap therapy! Learning to drive has occasioned emotions ranging from reasonable caution to unbridled terror. Learning under the watchful eye of one's spouse is an added challenge. Undertaking the task with anxious children in the backseat can only heighten the sensory richness of the moment.

Cat doesn't mind living in the shadow of his sister, Gwendolen, the most promising young witch ever seen on Coven Street. But trouble starts brewing the moment the two orphans are summoned to live in Chrestomanci Castle. Frustrated that the witches of the castle refuse to acknowledge her talents, Gwendolen conjures up a scheme that could throw whole worlds out of whack.

Grammy Winner for Best Spoken Comedy Album
Performed by George Carlin himself, and filled with thoughts, musings, questions, lists, beliefs, curiosities, monologues, assertions, assumptions, and other verbal ordeals, Brain Droppings is infectiously funny.

New! Don't miss our AudibleComedy combo, featuring original humor from standups Greg Proops and Steve Marmel.

The first time she saw him, she flipped. The first time he saw her, he ran. That was the second grade, but not much has changed by the seventh. Juli says, "My Bryce. Still walking around with my first kiss." He says, "It's been six years of strategic avoidance and social discomfort." But in the eighth grade, everything gets turned upside down: Just as Bryce is thinking that there's maybe more to Juli than meets the eye, she's thinking that he's not quite all he seemed.

Meet Adrian Mole, a hapless teenager providing an unabashed, pimples-and-all glimpse into adolescent life. Writing candidly about his parents' marital troubles, the dog, and his life as a tortured poet and 'misunderstood intellectual', Adrian's painfully honest diary is still hilarious and compelling reading thirty years after it first appeared.

It's Miles' and Niles' final year at Yawnee Valley Science and Letters Academy, and the Terrible Two have one goal: an epic prank. Something big, something brilliant, something that will leave a lasting legacy at their school. It should be easy-peasy for these experts, especially now that their principal has gone from archnemesis to pranking protege. But their smooth sailing gets downright bumpy when they find out that the new superintendent is none other than Bertrand Barkin, their principal's father...and their sworn enemy.

Haley Patterson has had a crush on golden boy Bryce Colton for ages. But when she hears a rumor that he hooked up with her, she gives him a choice: be her boyfriend for a month to show other guys that she’s dateable - despite her overprotective and very intimidating brothers - or deal with the angry, cage-fighting boyfriend of the girl with whom he actually did hook up.