Sign Here for Horns
A SciFi Alien RomCom (Vandalar Concubines, Book 1)
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Narrated by:
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Dorinda Ravish
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By:
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V.K. Ludwig
About this listen
I accidentally bought myself an alien concubine.
Thirty-one, recently divorced, and behind on the mortgage for my farm, I scrape my last savings together and buy myself a farmhand.
That big, horned alien I end up with? He’s a Vandalar saikh, a male concubine, and he wants to plow more than just my fields.
Guess I should have read the fine print of the purchase contract better because the trader refuses to take him back. Now I’m stuck with weed-infested fields, red letters from the bank, and a guy who says he studied one million ways to please a female. (His words, it’s not like I’m going to count...)
Sign Here for Horns is the first book in this interconnected alien romantic comedy series, featuring concubines trained to cook, clean, and something that rhymes with buck.
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Anna Rossi lives by one simple rule: Don't get attached, don't get hurt. But Alec Flynn doesn’t play by the rules... Anna never takes on a massage client without screening him first, but the paycheck offered by billionaire Maxim Stein is too good to turn down. Stein is the richest man she's ever laid her hands on, and despite the risks, she trusts that she can take care of herself. After all, she's handled difficult clients in the past.
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MUCH MUCH MORE THAN JUST A BITTER-SWEET ROMANCE
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 12-21-14
By: Sierra Kincade
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Bait & Switch
- Alphas Undone, Book 1
- By: Kendall Ryan
- Narrated by: Tyler Donne, Alexandria Wilde
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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I'm a rescuer. It's in my DNA. Stray dogs. Stray women... But this one doesn't need rescuing. She needs something real, but I never keep the ones I rescue. I could let her go...but I can't watch her walk away. I'm an ex-Navy SEAL, and I never give up on a mission.
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Middle of the book
- By Davis on 07-05-16
By: Kendall Ryan
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Resisting Roots
- Lotus House, Book 1
- By: Audrey Carlan
- Narrated by: Holly Chandler, Jacob Morgan
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Yoga instructor Genevieve Harper is a blond bombshell loaded down with responsibility and sacrifice. She makes the most out of raising her two siblings in the wake of their parents' tragic accident. At twenty-four, she doesn't have time to devote to a man...especially not the devastatingly handsome Trent Fox, who's known for being a "player" on and off the baseball field.
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Boring
- By LisaD on 07-07-17
By: Audrey Carlan
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The Bad Guy
- By: Celia Aaron
- Narrated by: Stephen Dexter, Lance Greenfield, Erin Mallon
- Length: 10 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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My name is Sebastian Lindstrom, and I'm the villain of this story. I've decided to lay myself bare. To tell the truth for once in my hollow life, no matter how dark it gets. And I can assure you, it will get so dark that you'll find yourself feeling around the blackened corners of my mind, seeking a door handle that isn't there. Don't mistake this for a confession. I neither seek forgiveness nor would I accept it. My sins are my own. They keep me company. Instead, this is the true tale of how I found her, how I stole her, and how I lost her.
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PSYCHOPATH ! YES PLEASE
- By Ya Book Girl on 12-19-17
By: Celia Aaron
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Ten Night Stand
- By: Mickey Miller
- Narrated by: Carmen Vine, Lee Samuels
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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I don't need a man. I've figured that out pretty quickly after a string of bad dates. Every one a disappointment. Either they want to use me, or I don't want to use them. Either way, I'm over it. But then my landlord shows up exactly when I need a man. And a drink. And maybe a second. So we make a deal. No sex for ten dates, which sounds easy. Despite the biceps bulging through his shirt. Despite the tattoos I desperately want to lick - I mean, know more about. Despite the hunger in his eyes when he looks at me.
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Wasn’t quite sure until the end
- By ReaderForLifeAndLoveandPeace on 08-22-19
By: Mickey Miller
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Obsession
- By: Jennifer Armentrout
- Narrated by: Alexandra R. Josephs
- Length: 13 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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He's arrogant, domineering, and...To. Die. For. Hunter is a ruthless killer. And the Department of Defense has him firmly in their grasp, which usually doesn't chafe too badly because he gets to kill bad guys. Most of the time he enjoys his job. That is until he's saddled with something he's never had to do before: protect a human from his mortal enemy.
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Holy Alien Hotness
- By Katherine on 04-19-15
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Follow
- By: Tessa Bailey
- Narrated by: James Larceny, Mackenzie Cartwright
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Family is everything to gambling den darling, Teresa Valentini. So when her brother lands himself in hot water, she’s willing to do whatever it takes to save him. And showing up topless in her unwitting savior’s motel room is turning out to be the furthest thing from a hardship. Will Caruso is the bad boy of New York’s financial scene…and he just found out the very thing that drives his success is a damn lie. Now he’s exchanged his high-stress life for the open road. When a beauty arrives, her secrecy prods his suspicions, even while she tempts his lust to the breaking point.
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Holy Hannah!!!!
- By Samantha Lyn Phillips on 10-14-22
By: Tessa Bailey
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How Beauty Met the Beast
- Book One of Tales of the Underlight
- By: Jax Garren
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer
- Length: 4 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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The Beast Scarred. Damaged. Living with a terrible secret. Agent of the Underlight Wesley 'Hauk' Haukon has nothing left but the fight for liberty against the oppressive Order of Ananke. He's starting to lose hope...and then he sees her. The Beauty Despite her night job as a burlesque dancer, grad student Jolie Benoit has always played the mostly good girl. That all changes following a scorching sexual encounter with a stranger whose face she doesn't see.
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A Disappointment...,
- By Lia on 03-08-13
By: Jax Garren
What listeners say about Sign Here for Horns
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- TA
- 04-06-22
Loved it!
This book was a great mix of comedy, love, and drama. The private thoughts were funny. Narrator did a great job with male and female characters. Unfortunately already listened to book 2; didn’t realize there was a book 1. Onto book 3.
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- Teri O'Neal
- 06-14-21
Hilarious first chapters
Truly original and funny. Loved the story, the characters were interesting, and the Vandalar's culture was distinctly different than anything on earth.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Taramisu
- 02-17-22
3.5
Very sweet. Quite angsty. Funny. Sexy. What else could you possibly ask for?
A different narrator would have been nice. Lilly is 31 years old but the narrator's voice sounded much older. It made me picture her as a cougar. Plus, she was kind of...mean...in the beginning. I'm glad she improved.
Jax? I just want to wrap him up in blankets and give him a good cuddle. Poor guy. I have a thing for MMCs who have been rejected all their lives then find the right person who accepts them for who they are. Sigh.
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- Cori Martin
- 07-27-22
So funny and cute and hot!!
This was hot hot hot!! And sooooooo funny! I was cracking up through most of the book! Jax is such a sweetheart I just loved his character!
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- Audible Kindle
- 02-01-22
Funny and Sexy
I stumbled onto this series by way of Book 3. That book's description had me so curious I decided to start with book 1 and check out this series and Author - TOTALLY WORTH IT!
This was a pretty funny and very sexy short romp in sci-fi land. It's a nice twist with the male concubine angle. This isn't completely erotica (at least imo), but pearl clutchers should just maybe save themselves the heat flashes and move along to more prosaic pastures. I, however, will definitely be listening to the other books!
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- noladel
- 09-12-22
Alien Abduction with a Twist
This was a cute alien romance where the male character is the abducted. I enjoyed the story, but it desperately needed duel narration.
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- NCgirl
- 03-22-22
funny in places
and full of understanable angst, which makes it a typical romance. There were so many missed places for humor that I hesitate to call it romcom, but it was a well developed story with no alpha males and strong female characters - a good listen.
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- S Reader
- 07-09-21
Loved it 🥰
The book was interesting, hilarious, sexy, and endearing. This book captivated my attention from beginning to end. I am definitely hooked on this series to bad there isn’t more out on Audible; but I can’t wait l willing to read them! Narrator did an awesome job too boot!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amber
- 12-31-21
super fun.
I was a little nervous to try this because I really liked the darker vibe or Garrison Earth, but it was really fun! I love the narrator too
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- Susan Rogers
- 12-27-22
Cute Alien Romance
This story is about a divorced Human farmer who buys a farm slave (big yikes) who is actually trained to be a concubine. Whoops, his growl is like a roofie! (double yikes) They both catch feelings, and as is typical in alien/human romances the conflict comes from cultural misunderstandings (I cut decorative scars in my body as a sign of affection! sorry about dripping blood everywhere!) Despite the cringe of the blase attitude about slavery and self mutilation, both characters are likeable and and eventually get out of their own ways enough to communicate and live HEA.
Does it bang? Yes. several times.
Consent? eh. The first time was dubcon, afterwards enthusiastic consent.
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