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Croak & Dagger
Best Sellers
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The Exorcist’s Guide to Dating
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Sasha Maestas
- Length: 2 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Damien is a washed-up exorcist who never believed in happy endings—until one of his cursed blog posts goes viral. Now he’s “The Loveorcist,” a foul-mouthed, whiskey-loving relationship guru for the haunted and heartbroken.
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Narrator's voice
- By Eliz A on 05-09-25
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The Exorcist’s Guide to Dating
- Narrated by: Sasha Maestas
- Length: 2 hrs and 26 mins
- Release date: 05-05-25
- Language: English
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How to Paris
- A Guide to Surviving, Thriving, and Not Getting Kicked Out of France: The No-Nonsense Guide to Parisian Life, Travel, and Avoiding Tourist Mistakes
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Gary Roelofs
- Length: 2 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Paris is beautiful. Paris is frustrating. Paris will eat you alive—unless you know what you’re doing. So you’re dreaming of sipping espresso at a charming café, strolling along the Seine, and living your best Parisian fantasy? Fantastic. But here’s the thing: Paris doesn’t care about your dreams.
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How to Paris
- A Guide to Surviving, Thriving, and Not Getting Kicked Out of France: The No-Nonsense Guide to Parisian Life, Travel, and Avoiding Tourist Mistakes
- Narrated by: Gary Roelofs
- Length: 2 hrs and 41 mins
- Release date: 04-10-25
- Language: English
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Axes & Asshats
- A Very Stupid Quest
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Alexander Gallacher
- Length: 3 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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In this wildly irreverent fantasy parody, four extremely unqualified adventurers are chosen to save the world—or at least not make it worse.
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Axes & Asshats
- A Very Stupid Quest
- Narrated by: Alexander Gallacher
- Length: 3 hrs and 35 mins
- Release date: 05-27-25
- Language: English
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Watches for the Rest of Us
- How to Collect Without Going Broke
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Chris Reynolds
- Length: 1 hr and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Love watches but don’t have a trust fund? Think collecting great timepieces means spending thousands? Think again. Watches for the Rest of Us is the ultimate guide to building a killer watch collection—without breaking the bank.
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Watches for the Rest of Us
- How to Collect Without Going Broke
- Narrated by: Chris Reynolds
- Length: 1 hr and 47 mins
- Release date: 05-09-25
- Language: English
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The Drunken Fairy’s Guide to Absolute Chaos
- Narrated by: Kevin Meyer
- Length: 3 hrs and 5 mins
- Release date: 05-01-25
- Language: English
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The Aromatic Buccaneer
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: David C Bender
- Length: 3 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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A debonair rogue. A ship full of scoundrels. A scent that could change the world—or at least make it smell better.
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The Aromatic Buccaneer
- Narrated by: David C Bender
- Length: 3 hrs and 15 mins
- Release date: 04-29-25
- Language: English
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Divine Dysfunction
- A Hilariously In-Depth Analysis of Greek and Roman Gods, Demigods, and Their Questionable Life Choices
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Steven Gillen
- Length: 3 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Did you know that Zeus had the impulse control of a reality TV star on a bender? That Poseidon settled his grudges with tsunamis? Or that Ares was the god of war but somehow still managed to lose fights?
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Divine Dysfunction
- A Hilariously In-Depth Analysis of Greek and Roman Gods, Demigods, and Their Questionable Life Choices
- Narrated by: Steven Gillen
- Length: 3 hrs and 31 mins
- Release date: 04-02-25
- Language: English
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Croak & Dagger
- The Tragically Heroic, Mildly Moist Misadventures of Frank the Frog
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Chase Johnson
- Length: 3 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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In the festering muck of Boggy Ballsack Swamp, Frank—a short-legged, rage-fueled frog—croaks his way through a dark comedy fantasy that’s as hilarious as it is unhinged.
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Croak & Dagger
- The Tragically Heroic, Mildly Moist Misadventures of Frank the Frog
- Narrated by: Chase Johnson
- Length: 3 hrs and 20 mins
- Release date: 06-09-25
- Language: English
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The Book of Tequila
- Glory, Regret, and Other Sacred Traditions
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: C W Jones
- Length: 2 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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The sacred. The sinful. The stupid. Tequila is all of it—and this is your lime-salted, smoke-soaked guide to surviving it. There are books about tequila—and then there’s this unholy gospel of agave-fueled madness.
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The Book of Tequila
- Glory, Regret, and Other Sacred Traditions
- Narrated by: C W Jones
- Length: 2 hrs and 41 mins
- Release date: 05-20-25
- Language: English
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Holy Crap
- A Guide to World Religions
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: RK Meier
- Length: 3 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Ever wondered why gods are so obsessed with smiting people? Or why religious rules seem oddly fixated on what you can and can’t eat?
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Mortimer Gravewhisper and the Unfortunate Quest for Doom
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Alison Logan
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Doom awaits…or so Mortimer Gravewhisper hopes. A tiny, brooding gnome obsessed with the inevitable, he sets out on a quest for ultimate despair—only to accidentally become a hero.
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Fun Read
- By Macy V on 05-05-25
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Mortimer Gravewhisper and the Unfortunate Quest for Doom
- Narrated by: Alison Logan
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Release date: 04-16-25
- Language: English
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Flabsolutely Furious
- Chronicles of the Chunky Combat Club
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Zack Zimbler
- Length: 2 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Flabsolutely Furious is an unfiltered, laugh-out-loud satire full of rage-fueled redemption, absurd fight scenes, and snack-powered solidarity.
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Flabsolutely Furious
- Chronicles of the Chunky Combat Club
- Narrated by: Zack Zimbler
- Length: 2 hrs and 21 mins
- Release date: 05-22-25
- Language: English
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How to Put on Your Underwear and Other Life Hacks
- A Hilarious Guide to Mastering the Basics of Existence
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Dominik Marosi
- Length: 1 hr and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Struggling to function as a responsible adult? You’re not alone. How to Put On Your Underwear and Other Life Hacks is your brutally honest, laugh-out-loud guide to surviving everyday chaos—bad alarms, awkward small talk, and grocery store blackouts.
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How to Put on Your Underwear and Other Life Hacks
- A Hilarious Guide to Mastering the Basics of Existence
- Narrated by: Dominik Marosi
- Length: 1 hr and 22 mins
- Release date: 05-12-25
- Language: English
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Holy WTF!
- A Hilariously Dysfunctional Guide to the Bible
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: RK Meier
- Length: 2 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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The Bible: History’s most dramatic, chaotic, and WTF-inducing book... now with 100% more sarcasm. Ever wondered why God created a talking snake, why Noah willingly signed up for the worst cruise in history, or why the Book of Revelation reads like a metal album fever dream?
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How to Drink Rum
- A Guide to Success, Swagger, and Slightly Questionable Decisions
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Chris Reynolds
- Length: 1 hr and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Drink Like a Legend. Or at Least Like a Pirate. Rum is more than just a drink—it’s a lifestyle, a statement, and possibly the best bad decision you’ll ever make.
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How to Drink Rum
- A Guide to Success, Swagger, and Slightly Questionable Decisions
- Narrated by: Chris Reynolds
- Length: 1 hr and 27 mins
- Release date: 05-05-25
- Language: English
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Clusterfuck Platoon
- A Comedic Odyssey Through Modern Warfare
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Gary Roelofs
- Length: 3 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Basic training was a disaster. His first mission was worse. But somehow, Private Johnny Durham is still alive—and that’s the real miracle. What happens when the world’s most unlucky soldier stumbles his way through the ranks of the U.S. Army? Absolute chaos.
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Clusterfuck Platoon
- A Comedic Odyssey Through Modern Warfare
- Narrated by: Gary Roelofs
- Length: 3 hrs and 50 mins
- Release date: 04-16-25
- Language: English
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Ragnarök and Roll
- A Hilariously Dysfunctional Guide to Norse Mythology
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: RK Meier
- Length: 2 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Odin’s got one eye, Thor’s got zero brains, and Loki’s got no morals. Welcome to Norse Mythology—like you’ve never seen it before!
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Ragnarök and Roll
- A Hilariously Dysfunctional Guide to Norse Mythology
- Narrated by: RK Meier
- Length: 2 hrs and 43 mins
- Release date: 06-04-25
- Language: English
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Oy Vey Almighty
- A Hilariously Dysfunctional Guide to the Jewish Faith
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Gary Roelofs
- Length: 3 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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What do you get when you mix a cranky God, a bunch of emotionally fragile prophets, 613 commandments, and a whole lot of carbs? A sacred mess called Judaism—and this hilariously dysfunctional guide is here to make sense of it all.
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Oy Vey Almighty
- A Hilariously Dysfunctional Guide to the Jewish Faith
- Narrated by: Gary Roelofs
- Length: 3 hrs and 34 mins
- Release date: 04-21-25
- Language: English
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The Ale-Stained Chronicles, Books 1, 2 and 3
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: Nick Roughton
- Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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In the chaos of post-plague France, a bastard noble, a disgraced knight, a cunning thief, and a blasphemous priest embark on a treacherous journey to reclaim a stolen birthright. Betrayal lurks in every shadow, and the Hundred Years’ War has made mercenaries cheap—but loyalty even cheaper.
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The Ale-Stained Chronicles, Books 1, 2 and 3
- Narrated by: Nick Roughton
- Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
- Release date: 05-27-25
- Language: English
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How to Survive Life Without Totally Screwing It Up
- By: Dustin Gross
- Narrated by: "Coach Gary" Micheloni
- Length: 1 hr and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Adulting is a scam, and you’ve been tricked into playing. Bills, burnout, awkward family gatherings—nobody warned you it’d be this chaotic. How to Survive Life Without Totally Screwing It Up is the brutally honest, laugh-out-loud survival guide you didn’t know you needed.
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How to Survive Life Without Totally Screwing It Up
- Narrated by: "Coach Gary" Micheloni
- Length: 1 hr and 14 mins
- Release date: 05-13-25
- Language: English
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