Michael J. Marziale

Participation Trophy Garbage

Reviewed: 01-15-25

I am about eight or nine hours in, and I just can't take it anymore. Minor SPOILERS AHEAD

I just reached a part where the main character, Erin, basically goes comatose for two days over looking a goblin that was trying to kill her. The Goblin tribe had tried to kill her four or five times by this point, but we are supposed to believe that she's so wrecked with guilt over this monster that she is basically incoherent with trauma for two days. Now, by this point she has killed at least three fish and arguably several rock crabs, and eats meat and sausage with no issue. Apparently those monsters don't count as killing though, just the horrible murdering goblin.

This is followed by an oddly enjoyable scene where Erin cooks pasta for the rest of the goblins as some sort of peace offering. It was an interesting and endearing scene. Unfortunately, immediately after that, Erin goes back to town and discovers the world has chess. We are then treated to a rather long rant that ends with her "remembering that she got bored with chess." She moralizes about the "unfairness" of a winner and a loser and states that, "the best outcome for both players is a draw." This no loser philosophy continues on throughout the series, and never goes away or gets corrected. Apparently every boss fight ends with both parties walking away unscathed, and with new levels. I'm sorry, but that's just garbage. I'm not wasting any further time on this garbage heap.

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29 Hours long, should've been 15

Reviewed: 09-24-24

UPDATE: I've finally finished the novel, and it is worth the read. The ending is satisfying, the events that unfold are interesting, and more continues to be revealed about the world, Sal, The Cacophony, and how they all relate to each other. That being said, it is still unnecessarily long. Nothing happens in the first half of the book. Here's my recommended approach to the book, and it will save you 13.5 hours of boredom, frustration, and wasted time. You Should Read: Chapter 1 - this sets up the framework of the rest of the novel, of course. Chapters 10 - 14 deal with the party's arrival at and adventures in Ocytus. Origin information is shared, and a few interesting things occur. Chapters 21 & 22 deal with Sal and another prodigy. These are worth reading to deepen your understanding of prodigies and their power. The events of these two chapters also echo through the rest of the book. After that, you can skip to Chapter 28, and read straight through to the end. This cuts out 20 chapters where nothing of any importance occurs. It will save you endless boredom and frustration. Had the book started at chapter 28, I would have rated it much more favorably.

ORIGINAL: I've enjoyed this series. it took me a bit to get into the narrator's style, but I like the characters, the works building and the magic system. I've also enjoyed the pacing and the storytelling style in the previous books. Unfortunately, the author completely lost that pacing in this novel. For every minute of relevant plot progression, conversation, or action, there are five minutes of depressive exposition. "I was too this to that, I was too that to the other, I was too other to another." Seriously, it never ends. I have been trying to slog through this endless mire of irrelevant crap for MONTHS. It is so difficult to stick with that I've gone back and reread four or five more enjoyable books on the side, as distractions from this one. The shame of it is that the overall plot is still interesting. I want to know what happens to Sal and her companions, but if I have to listen to another minute of Sal's endless pity party, I'm going to go insane. Does anyone have an abridged version I can borrow?

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From mythological adventure to dime store romance

Reviewed: 02-12-24

I enjoyed the first half of this series, so I grabbed the second collection expecting more of the same. Unfortunately, there's a definite shift in tone and theme as the series progresses. Your enjoyment of this collection will depend on what you liked about the first collection.

The first half of the series builds an interesting fantasy world, and focuses primarily on Lana's adventures and changing role within it. There were always romantic entanglements throughout the books, but Lana's love life becomes the primary focus in this collection. The world building and adventure or mystery plotlines take a decided back seat. The cast also seems to become more petty and at times more irresponsible than in the earlier books. Character growth and progression flattens out completely. Lana faces challenges, but makes no really growth through these four books. I struggled to finish these books. The main plotlines seem important, simply a background against which Lana and Bub's relationship plays out.

If you're looking for more predictable romantic entanglements and stereotypical relationship struggles, you'll likely enjoy this collection. If you were hoping for more depth and development of the world, and the interaction between the different factions of eternity, I'd skip it. Save your credit and your hours for a better read.

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Good Book, bad audio quality

Reviewed: 08-13-19

The story is great, and the characters introduced are genuinely intriguing. I've now read all three novels that have been released to date. I enjoy the world, the magic system, and the powers at play.

That being said, the audio quality of this first novel is challenging. The audio hisses a lot when she pronounces the letter "S". That's problematic when your main character's name is Sal. I say the audio and not the narrator because this isn't anywhere near as much of a problem in the other two novels. I'm not sure if it was an issue with her mic or what, but the hissing does get a bit old. That being said, the story is very much worth the listen.

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12 people found this helpful

Twice as long as it needs to be.

Reviewed: 11-30-18

One easy question the editor should have asked: Who the hell is Bat Durston, and why does the audience CARE??? BEMS, Fems, spacemen that are human, but hundreds of light years away from the previously established sphere of human influence. This novel spends far too much time on irrelevant side characters and plots that are of no consequence to the main story line, or the main character. Also, I'm sorry, but I don't care how the hourglass works. A cursory explanation would have been plenty, but instead we get to spend the better part of a chapter delving into theory and space/time relativity. How does he travel through time and space, and stay anchored to a mobile planet? It's magic! That's it, no need to continue to delving into specific functional and technical details. The situation isn't improved by having Guidall slowly lay it all out for us in his patronizing Satan voice. I truly enjoyed On a Pale Horse, but this book is nowhere near as good. It feels like Anthony doesn't know where he is going with the character, and doesn't have enough plot to fill the book, so he meanders around with some obnoxiously pointless story lines and irredeemably stupid characters so he can have an excuse for long, unnecessarily drawn out explanations of facts or functions that the reader sorted out 20 pages ago. Piers, I love you man, Xanth was a huge part of my childhood, but you aren't a groundbreaking astrophysicist. I picked up this book because I wanted to hear a good story. Leave the abysmal side plots and physics textbook writing aside, and focus on spinning a good yarn. I'm not sure if I'll give book 3 a chance or not, this one really put me off of this series.

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Well Developed Anti-heroes in a Colorful World

Reviewed: 08-25-17

If you could sum up The Lies of Locke Lamora in three words, what would they be?

Thankfully I can't sum this book up in three words. How boring would that be?

What other book might you compare The Lies of Locke Lamora to and why?

The Way of Shadows - Both books have complex characters with complex motives and feature an antihero at the center of the story.

Which scene was your favorite?

That's a difficult one. I think the realization of the death offering really sticks with me. Can't say more without spoilers. Also, the setup at the banking house was an outstanding bit of humor.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

There are many, but I can't discuss them without spoilers. Suffice it to say that there are some surprising twists, and some deeply felt losses.

Any additional comments?

The narration off this book is excellent. The narrator does an excellent job of differentiating characters, and even providing different voices for assumed personas. The characters are well fleshed out, engaging, and captivating. They have strengths, flaws, and complex motivation. The city of Camorr itself, the magic system, and the religions of the world also serve as excellent world building and plot points, and are unique and well executed.

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Poor characters, lame humor, and AWFUL narration

Reviewed: 08-25-17

What would have made Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits better?

"This city is a butt that farts out horror!" - Zoey Ash

"Have you not ordered the pizzas yet?"
"For the people that swarmed your car and made veiled threats against your mother?!?"
"YES! What is it with rich people thinking they can starve the poor into good behavior?!"
-Zoey Ash

I always finish a book once I start it, but I only survived eighteen chapters of this horrifying garbage. Those two quotes came within fifteen minutes of each other, and finally helped convince me to give up on this novel. Referring to this nauseating pile of thrown together nouns, verbs, and adjectives as a novel is as generous as I plan to be in this review.

Zoey Ash is about the dead on stereotype of a progressive, liberal early 20's millennial as you could dream up. Her character somehow manages to come across as spoiled, snobbish, naive, and disenchanted all at the same time. The progressive attitudes that she uses to justify her wildly inappropriate, reckless, and totally unbelievable behavior is downright infuriating, and her inability to grasp the significance of events or the facts of her situation are astonishing and flatly painful for the listener.

The other characters fare little better. From her cat, creatively named Stench Machine (is the target audience for this book 12 year old boys?) to the flatly boring and one dimensional Will Blackwater (named after a real world private security firm - again WILDLY creative), they serve as plot devices at best and sad little tropes for Zoey's tantrums at worst. There is no character development or growth arc. They're just hollow shells painted to look like characters we've seen in 200 movies before. Stack that in with the endless references to male privilege, rich privilege, and Zoey's totally unfounded air of superiority, and I promise you will find yourself reeling with disbelieve as you tilt from one ridiculously bad decision to the next.

Vibrant, dynamic, fleshed out characters and a heroine you root for, rather than against, would have gone a long way towards improving this book.

Would you ever listen to anything by David Wong again?

Not unless he was willing to pay me a considerable amount of money for the displeasure.

Would you be willing to try another one of Christy Romano’s performances?

NOT EVEN IF SHE PAID ME! For someone that started her career as a voice actress, Romano is a totally inept narrator. In fact, she may need to go back to school and take some remedial English classes. She doesn't seem to understand the use or intention of punctuation, and proper emphasis and inflection are totally lost on her. She sounds like a female Will Shatner impersonator, pretending to narrate a novel as part of a comedy skit. The narration is filled with random breaks and pauses that serve no purpose, and all of Zoey's lines come out snotty and disaffected. Her attempts at voice variation and accents are cringeworthy. A horrible Southern accent seems to be her preferred method for attempting to distinguish male voices. I truly do not have one positive thing to say about Romano's narration of this title.

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

Anger, disbelief, boredom, more deibelief, confusion, irritation, and finally resignation.

Any additional comments?

Please. for the sake of humanity and our collective sanity, don't write a sequel.

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10 people found this helpful

An excellent introduction to an exciting world

Reviewed: 06-27-17

What made the experience of listening to The Blade Itself the most enjoyable?

I can't praise Pacey enough for his narration, and the life he breathed into already vibrant characters. The world is unique and colorful, and the plotlines are engaging. The reader does have to be somewhat patient, though, as this entire book is basically an introduction to the world and the characters.

What did you like best about this story?

The depth of character development, and the diversity of the characters. I was particularly fond of the contrast presented between Glockta and Jezal. The difference in their perspective helped flesh out the world from different angles. Each character also has themes that repeat throughout their portion of the story. I felt that went a long way to help provide a unique tone and feel as you moved from one perspective to the next.

What does Steven Pacey bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

Excellent voice acting. Particularly with Logen and Glokta. I think his reading influenced some of my interpretation of their personalities, and deepened my understanding of the characters.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

No. I refuse to reduce 20+ hours to one sentence.

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Good concept, mediocre execution

Reviewed: 05-15-17

Would you try another book from Piers Anthony and/or George Guidall?

Anthony is a favorite author from my childhood. I would not rush to buy another book narrated by Guidall, however. The book has its issues, but the narration exacerbates these issues by making the main character of Zane/Death sound far too petulant and childish.

What aspect of George Guidall’s performance would you have changed?

The attitude and emotion read into Zane/Death seems overly petulant and childish, while some of the women seem too wistful and air headed.

Was On a Pale Horse worth the listening time?

Yes, it is an enjoyable storyline.

Any additional comments?

The concept of Death as an incarnate office, filled by the living is quite interesting, and I enjoyed the overall plot. My biggest complaint is that many of the plot points are overly belabored to explain them to the reader. Speaking for myself at least, I figured out mechanics and plot points long before Zane did, as they were being explained to him. This heavy handedness makes Zane/Death seem stupid, to be blunt. I found myself yelling at the recording for him to figure out some things that were blatantly obvious, or had been explained to the character previously.

Other than this irritating issue, the book is a good one, and tells a unique story. Anthony's vision of the office and the incarnates, and his mix of magic and technology creates a fairly unique mythos and world that is quite enjoyable to explore. The book is certainly worth the time to listen to, but be prepared to get a little annoyed with the writing style at certain points.

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