A Practical Guide to Conquering the World Audiobook By K. J. Parker cover art

A Practical Guide to Conquering the World

The Siege, Book 3

 Preview
LIMITED TIME OFFER

3 months free
Try for $0.00
Offer ends July 31, 2025 at 11:59PM PT.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
Premium Plus auto-renews for $14.95/mo after 3 months. Cancel anytime.

A Practical Guide to Conquering the World

By: K. J. Parker
Narrated by: Ray Sawyer
Try for $0.00

$0.00/mo. after 3 months. Offer ends July 31, 2025 at 11:59PM PT. Cancel anytime.

Buy for $26.61

Buy for $26.61

Confirm purchase
Pay using card ending in
Switch payment method
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use, License, and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Taxes where applicable.
Cancel

This is the true story of Aemilius Felix Boioannes the younger, the intended and unintended consequence of his life, the bad stuff he did on purpose and the good stuff that happened in spite of him.

It is, in other words, the tale of a war to end all wards and the man responsible.

A Practical Guide to Conquering the World can be listened to by itself, but for those who like endings, it can also be considered the refreshingly pragmatic conclusion to K. J. Parker's acclaimed sequence of novels that began with Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City and continued with How to Rule an Empire and Get Away with It.

©2022 One Reluctant Lemming Co Ltd. (P)2022 Hachette Audio UK Epic Fantasy Funny Witty
Clever Plot Twists • Dry Witty Humor • Skeptical Ironic Narration • Subtle Humor • Insightful Historical References
Highly rated for:
All stars
Most relevant  
Why does he go by two names? Who knows. However you call him just make sure the words literary and genius make it into the same sentence. Can’t wait for the next one (or for audible to add the rest of Tom’s back catalogue. Seriously what’s up with that?)

Holt strikes again

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
When it comes to K.J. Parker's writing, I'm not a fan. I'm a believer. Sure, not everything he writes is excellent, and sometimes he reuses the same plot points to write a story. Still, I always have a great time reading Parker's books. A Practical Guide to Conquering the World is no exception. I loved it - it made me laugh and appreciate a cynical but insightful view of the world.

This time we follow Felix, a member of the Robur race, who works as a translator for the Echmen empire. He enjoys books and peaceful life. But alas, Parker has other plans for him. When armies wipe out the Robur race, Felix joins the Hus' ambassador, who owes him for saving the life of his princess. Unfortunately, shortly after, the Echmen kill the Hus king and enslave his people. Felix decides to save a group of people he doesn't actually like. Not an easy task - he must unite the Hus with their enemy, the Dejauzi, and find a way to defeat the Echmen empire. How you may ask? Well, inventing a religion and becoming a prophet is a good start.

Felix's bold plans and cynical view of the world are always entertaining. He idolizes no one and knows that if you want to do something right (even if it's conquering the world), it's better to do it yourself. And so he decides to fight the war to end all wars.

The pacing is excellent and the twists are legion. Add to that Felix's unreliable narration and you get a tremendously entertaining and darkly humorous romp. Like most Parker heroes, Felix has no strict moral code. So readers should ask themselves: what does he really want?

The Siege is a series of loosely connected books. You don't need to have read the previous volumes to understand, follow, and appreciate the story. However, if you read the books in order of publication, you can enjoy certain nuances. Besides, they're fun, and why deprive yourself of a good time?

I'll read anything Parker writes. A Practical Guide to Conquering the World is an excellent, darkly humorous, and an insightful story I'll happily revisit in the future. Highly recommended!

Additional note: I've listened to the audiobook version and had a great time listening to it. Ray Sawyer captured the tone of the book perfectly.

A great story

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
i prefered the first two books in the series, with the very 1st being the strongest. This one leave the setting of The City but still follows on of its citizens. i think its the fact its no longer bound in the city coupled with the more unbelievable path to power the central character takes in this book that dimishes ever so slightly compared to the first two that weakens it. But only slightly and definitely still worth the listen through

The weakest of the 3, but still good and worth it

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Know what you are getting into before you begin. KJ Parker books are full of extremely dry humor, lengthy details about weapons construction and ancient battle techniques, and the author's wry opinions. It isn't endless action, sex, or even all that much violence (though there is some). Ancient history buffs will love picking out the nuggets from our history and perhaps begin to wonder about the "facts" handed down through time. Slaves are led out of bondage into the desert, waters are parted, a girl leads armies to unlikely victories, tablets are handed down--though in circumstances one might not expect... Ray Sawyer reads with his usual skeptical irony that enhances Parker's style. I wonder if the lisping accent was included specifically as a good-natured dig at Sawyer (he handles it well). I think it's well known that KJ Parker is Tom Holt, though writing as KJ Parker allows Tom Holt's inner historian run rampant. No orcs or portable doors here, but lots about how to make a bow or defeat a cavalry charge. There is plenty of humor, but you sometimes need to pay close attention to see it.

If you love KJ Parker, you'll love it

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
I so enjoy the dry wit and writing style of these books. This one starts off a little slower, but well worth the wait as the plot line escalates so don't be put off by the beginning pace. These are the kind of books I read more that once just for the pure joy of the subtle humor and unique characters. I can't think of a comparison in the fantasy category, so the closest I can come is if you like Mick Herron's Slow Horses kind of humor, you might like this trilogy. The narrator captures the tone of the book perfectly, so well done Mr. Sawyer.

KJ Barker Does It Again

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
I found this to be the most amusing and entertaining of the three books.

The main protagonist is without any redeeming characteristic or personality. They are utterly without empathy or any concern for those whose lives are ruined or uprooted. They are by far the most interesting and intriguing character.

Cynicism

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
I think part of the disappointment was that from the title details I was expecting the siege from the point of view of Orhan’s barbarian emperor friend. Instead, the main character is a diplomat in another city who only gets distant word of the siege, who ends up helping construct the demise of a different empire with the help of a different group of “barbarian peoples”. Still, I loved the first book and quite liked the second one so I was willing to give it a chance.

The timing also seemed off – they get belated word of the siege at the beginning of this book, and four years later there are events that happened after the end of the second book. Not huge, but I like how detail oriented the world building in the first book was.

I could’ve gotten past those things however except, as another reviewer has pointed out, it’s pretty much the exact same story with pretty much the exact same characters. Different people/name/settings, but the same tropes the same personality, etc. and it just seemed tired and overdone. Using the same narrator for all three books was probably also a mistake. While the narrator is fabulous, he uses the same accents and inflections book to book, and it only strengthens the repetitive nature of the main characters between the books.

The writing is good, but not as good as the books at the beginning of the series. I’m 7 1/2 hours into the 13 hour book, and I’m honestly not sure I’m gonna bother to go on.

If you loved both of the first books in the series, and you haven’t re-listened to them too recently, it will probably be a fun read.

Meh

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
I don't think I have a lot to say to him because he was so far

I

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
The story seemed a little too rushed and a little to perfect. I think it was so/so conclusion to the series

Meh

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Narrator is stellar with a commanding, luxurious voice. But this story felt hollow. No character building, no obstacles. The protagonist just asks for favors or says “I read it in a book” and gets whatever he wants with little agency or difficulty A disappointing read after “16 Ways to Defend a Walled City” but a good farce on religion, if you’re into beating that dead old horse.

Fine

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
See more reviews