A Practical Guide to Conquering the World
The Siege, Book 3
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Narrated by:
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Ray Sawyer
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By:
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K. J. Parker
About this listen
This is the true story of Aemilius Felix Boioannes the younger, the intended and unintended consequence of his life, the bad stuff he did on purpose and the good stuff that happened in spite of him.
It is, in other words, the tale of a war to end all wards and the man responsible.
A Practical Guide to Conquering the World can be listened to by itself, but for those who like endings, it can also be considered the refreshingly pragmatic conclusion to K. J. Parker's acclaimed sequence of novels that began with Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City and continued with How to Rule an Empire and Get Away with It.
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With this stunning series opener, Django Wexler leaps to the upper echelon of today’s best fantasy authors. The Thousand Names opens his Shadow Campaigns series with a tale of bloody rebellion that will reshape an empire -- and a world. Captain Marcus d’Ivoire and Winter Ihernglass see their fortunes rise under the command of military genius Janus bet Vhalnich. But Janus’ obsession with the supernatural portends a dire fate for the realm.
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90% battles and 10% character development
- By Kathleen on 11-15-14
By: Django Wexler
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Oath of Fealty
- Paladin's Legacy, Book 1
- By: Elizabeth Moon
- Narrated by: Jennifer Van Dyck
- Length: 17 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Paksenarrion Dorthansdotter follows her dream of becoming a hero out of legend by running away to join the army. Military life and warfare aren't anything like she imagined - yet she holds to both her duty and her dreams. Sheepfarmer's Daughter, Divided Allegiance, and Oath of Gold tell of her rise to become the paladin who saves a kingdom. In this new trilogy, Paks's former comrades in Duke Phelan's Company assume new roles and the story turns to follow their adventures.
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More Moon Magic
- By James on 04-20-10
By: Elizabeth Moon
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The Memory of Earth
- Homecoming, Volume 1
- By: Orson Scott Card
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 10 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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High above the planet Harmony, the Oversoul watches. Its task, programmed so many millennia ago, is to guard the human settlement on this planet, to protect this fragile remnant of Earth from all threats...to protect them, most of all, from themselves.
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I keep hoping, but, alas, ...
- By Ole Hippie on 02-22-10
By: Orson Scott Card
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Wolfblade
- Hythryn Chronicles, Book 1
- By: Jennifer Fallon
- Narrated by: Maggie Mash
- Length: 25 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Marla Wolfblade of Hythria is determined to restore her family's great name, but conspirators surround her: The Sorcerers' Collective, the Patriots - even members of her own family. She must make sure her son Damin lives to be old enough to restore the Wolfblade name to its former glory. Elezaar the Dwarf is a small man with big secrets - but that doesn't matter to Marla Wolfblade. Her brother is the High Prince of Hythria, and, in this fiercely patriarchal society, her fate will be decided on his whim.
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An epic political drama
- By Katherine on 07-19-14
By: Jennifer Fallon
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More Than a Game
- Fayroll 1
- By: Andrey Vasilyev
- Narrated by: Adrian Niro
- Length: 10 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Tasked with a new assignment, journalist Harriton is given explicit orders to write a series of articles on the Virtual Gaming World of Fayroll and its developers. Harriton grudgingly accepts the assignment but soon finds himself enthralled by the virtual fantasy world and its amazing quests, unpredictable challenges and nearly endless possibilities.
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Story seemed good but the reader...
- By Kindle Customer on 03-21-18
By: Andrey Vasilyev
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Heir Apparent
- By: Vivian Vande Velde
- Narrated by: Hallie Ricardo
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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In the virtual reality game Heir Apparent, there are way too many ways to get killed—and Giannine seems to be finding them all. Which is a shame, because unless she can get the magic ring, locate the stolen treasure, answer the dwarf's dumb riddles, impress the head-chopping statue, charm the army of ghosts, fend off the barbarians, and defeat the man-eating dragon, she'll never win.
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Loved It!
- By Kenneth Atchinson on 11-26-22
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Birds Without Wings
- By: Louis de Bernieres
- Narrated by: John Lee
- Length: 23 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Birds Without Wings is the story of a small town in Anatolia in the dying days of the Ottoman Empire told in the richly varied voices of the men and women (Armenians, Christians, and Muslims) whose lives are intertwined and rooted there: Iskander, the potter and local fount of wisdom; Philotei, the Christian girl of legendary beauty, courted almost from infancy by Ibrahim the goatherd, a great love that culminates in tragedy and madness; and many more.
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Not for the faint of heart
- By a on 01-03-05
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The Mask of Apollo
- By: Mary Renault
- Narrated by: Barnaby Edwards
- Length: 15 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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In a vivid depiction of Ancient Greece and its legendary heroes, The Mask of Apollo tells the story of Nikeratos, the gifted tragic actor at the centre of political and cultural activity in Athens, 400 B. C. Wherever he goes, Nikeratos carries a golden mask of Apollo, a relic and reminder of an age when the theatre was at the height of its greatness and talent. Only a mascot at first, the mask gradually turns into Nikeratos' conscience as he encounters famous thinkers, actors, and philosophers, including the famous Plato himself.
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The Author, Mary Renault, UNMASKED by her Apollo
- By James on 05-12-15
By: Mary Renault
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The Spark
- By: David Drake
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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In the time of the Ancients the universe was united - but that was so far in the past that not even memory remains, only the broken artifacts that a few Makers can reshape into their original uses. What survives is shattered into enclaves - some tiny, some ruined, some wild. Into the gaps between settlements, and onto the road that connects all human reality and the reality that is not human and may never have been human, have crept monsters.
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Very enjoyable
- By Stewart on 11-14-17
By: David Drake
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Daughter of the Sword
- A Novel of the Fated Blades
- By: Steve Bein
- Narrated by: Allison Hiroto
- Length: 17 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Mariko Oshiro is not your average Tokyo cop. As the only female detective in the city’s most elite police unit, she has to fight for every ounce of respect, especially from her new boss. While she wants to track down a rumored cocaine shipment, he gives her the least promising case possible. But the case - the attempted theft of an old samurai sword - proves more dangerous than anyone on the force could have imagined.
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Beyond my expectations!
- By Professor on 10-06-12
By: Steve Bein
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The Sleeping Dragon
- Guardians of the Flame, Book 1
- By: Joel Rosenberg
- Narrated by: Keith Silverstein
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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It began as just another evening of fantasy gaming with James, Karl, Andrea, and the rest ready to assume their various roles as wizard, cleric, warrior, or thief. But sorcerous gamemaster Professor Deighton had something else planned for this unsuspecting group of college students. And the "game" soon became a matter of life and death as the seven adventurers found themselves transported to an alternate world and into the bodies of the actual characters they had been pretending to be....
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A Self Image Cast in Stone Could Shatter
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 10-19-13
By: Joel Rosenberg
What listeners say about A Practical Guide to Conquering the World
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Lu
- 02-07-22
A great story
When it comes to K.J. Parker's writing, I'm not a fan. I'm a believer. Sure, not everything he writes is excellent, and sometimes he reuses the same plot points to write a story. Still, I always have a great time reading Parker's books. A Practical Guide to Conquering the World is no exception. I loved it - it made me laugh and appreciate a cynical but insightful view of the world.
This time we follow Felix, a member of the Robur race, who works as a translator for the Echmen empire. He enjoys books and peaceful life. But alas, Parker has other plans for him. When armies wipe out the Robur race, Felix joins the Hus' ambassador, who owes him for saving the life of his princess. Unfortunately, shortly after, the Echmen kill the Hus king and enslave his people. Felix decides to save a group of people he doesn't actually like. Not an easy task - he must unite the Hus with their enemy, the Dejauzi, and find a way to defeat the Echmen empire. How you may ask? Well, inventing a religion and becoming a prophet is a good start.
Felix's bold plans and cynical view of the world are always entertaining. He idolizes no one and knows that if you want to do something right (even if it's conquering the world), it's better to do it yourself. And so he decides to fight the war to end all wars.
The pacing is excellent and the twists are legion. Add to that Felix's unreliable narration and you get a tremendously entertaining and darkly humorous romp. Like most Parker heroes, Felix has no strict moral code. So readers should ask themselves: what does he really want?
The Siege is a series of loosely connected books. You don't need to have read the previous volumes to understand, follow, and appreciate the story. However, if you read the books in order of publication, you can enjoy certain nuances. Besides, they're fun, and why deprive yourself of a good time?
I'll read anything Parker writes. A Practical Guide to Conquering the World is an excellent, darkly humorous, and an insightful story I'll happily revisit in the future. Highly recommended!
Additional note: I've listened to the audiobook version and had a great time listening to it. Ray Sawyer captured the tone of the book perfectly.
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- Daniel
- 01-30-23
Holt strikes again
Why does he go by two names? Who knows. However you call him just make sure the words literary and genius make it into the same sentence. Can’t wait for the next one (or for audible to add the rest of Tom’s back catalogue. Seriously what’s up with that?)
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- Charles E Valdyke
- 05-14-22
The weakest of the 3, but still good and worth it
i prefered the first two books in the series, with the very 1st being the strongest. This one leave the setting of The City but still follows on of its citizens. i think its the fact its no longer bound in the city coupled with the more unbelievable path to power the central character takes in this book that dimishes ever so slightly compared to the first two that weakens it. But only slightly and definitely still worth the listen through
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- Georgia Shopper
- 01-18-22
If you love KJ Parker, you'll love it
Know what you are getting into before you begin. KJ Parker books are full of extremely dry humor, lengthy details about weapons construction and ancient battle techniques, and the author's wry opinions. It isn't endless action, sex, or even all that much violence (though there is some). Ancient history buffs will love picking out the nuggets from our history and perhaps begin to wonder about the "facts" handed down through time. Slaves are led out of bondage into the desert, waters are parted, a girl leads armies to unlikely victories, tablets are handed down--though in circumstances one might not expect... Ray Sawyer reads with his usual skeptical irony that enhances Parker's style. I wonder if the lisping accent was included specifically as a good-natured dig at Sawyer (he handles it well). I think it's well known that KJ Parker is Tom Holt, though writing as KJ Parker allows Tom Holt's inner historian run rampant. No orcs or portable doors here, but lots about how to make a bow or defeat a cavalry charge. There is plenty of humor, but you sometimes need to pay close attention to see it.
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- Kathy B
- 01-21-22
KJ Barker Does It Again
I so enjoy the dry wit and writing style of these books. This one starts off a little slower, but well worth the wait as the plot line escalates so don't be put off by the beginning pace. These are the kind of books I read more that once just for the pure joy of the subtle humor and unique characters. I can't think of a comparison in the fantasy category, so the closest I can come is if you like Mick Herron's Slow Horses kind of humor, you might like this trilogy. The narrator captures the tone of the book perfectly, so well done Mr. Sawyer.
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- @tone0189
- 02-28-22
Cynicism
I found this to be the most amusing and entertaining of the three books.
The main protagonist is without any redeeming characteristic or personality. They are utterly without empathy or any concern for those whose lives are ruined or uprooted. They are by far the most interesting and intriguing character.
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- E. O'Connor
- 01-23-22
Meh
I think part of the disappointment was that from the title details I was expecting the siege from the point of view of Orhan’s barbarian emperor friend. Instead, the main character is a diplomat in another city who only gets distant word of the siege, who ends up helping construct the demise of a different empire with the help of a different group of “barbarian peoples”. Still, I loved the first book and quite liked the second one so I was willing to give it a chance.
The timing also seemed off – they get belated word of the siege at the beginning of this book, and four years later there are events that happened after the end of the second book. Not huge, but I like how detail oriented the world building in the first book was.
I could’ve gotten past those things however except, as another reviewer has pointed out, it’s pretty much the exact same story with pretty much the exact same characters. Different people/name/settings, but the same tropes the same personality, etc. and it just seemed tired and overdone. Using the same narrator for all three books was probably also a mistake. While the narrator is fabulous, he uses the same accents and inflections book to book, and it only strengthens the repetitive nature of the main characters between the books.
The writing is good, but not as good as the books at the beginning of the series. I’m 7 1/2 hours into the 13 hour book, and I’m honestly not sure I’m gonna bother to go on.
If you loved both of the first books in the series, and you haven’t re-listened to them too recently, it will probably be a fun read.
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- Anonymous User
- 05-11-23
I
I don't think I have a lot to say to him because he was so far
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- RBII
- 08-15-22
Meh
The story seemed a little too rushed and a little to perfect. I think it was so/so conclusion to the series
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- Taylor Glazier
- 04-14-23
Fine
Narrator is stellar with a commanding, luxurious voice. But this story felt hollow. No character building, no obstacles. The protagonist just asks for favors or says “I read it in a book” and gets whatever he wants with little agency or difficulty A disappointing read after “16 Ways to Defend a Walled City” but a good farce on religion, if you’re into beating that dead old horse.
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