Baby, Don't Hurt Me
Stories and Scars from Saturday Night Live
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Narrated by:
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Chris Kattan
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By:
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Chris Kattan
About this listen
You may know him as Mango, Mr. Peepers, the gibberish-spouting Suel Forrester, or one half of the head-bopping brothers in A Night at the Roxbury. Maybe you remember him as the forlorn Gothic kid Azrael Abyss, Gay Hitler, or the guitarist in the “More Cowbell” sketch. Whichever it is, Chris Kattan has earned a spot in the hearts of a generation of comedy fans.
Chris Kattan has defied comparison, expectations, and sometimes gravity with his inimitable style of physical comedy. By creating some of the most memorable Saturday Night Live characters, as well as his many roles in film and television, Kattan has remained one of the most fearless and versatile comedians in the world.
Not long after Chris was labeled one of the improv group Groundlings’ “must-see” performers in the company, he was cast on SNL - and within the first six weeks, Chris’ film career also took off.
Now, for the first time, Kattan opens up about eight seasons on SNL, performing alongside friends and future legends including Will Ferrell, Jimmy Fallon, and Tina Fey, and guest hosts from Charlize Theron to Tom Hanks to David Bowie. He also shares stories of his unusual childhood (involving a secluded mountain with zen monks) with Leonard Cohen and Alan Watts. Baby, Don’t Hurt Me offers an unprecedented look into Chris’ life, from his fascinating relationship with Lorne Michaels to a private Valentine’s Day dinner with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, an unforgettable flight with Beyoncé, and even breaking his neck on live television.
Baby, Don’t Hurt Me is a candid, revealing memoir from a timeless comedian and a window into the world of millennium-era SNL, from the rehearsals to the after-after parties, as narrated by your hilarious and inspiring friend - who just so happened to be there for all of it.
©2019 Chris Kattan (P)2019 Audible, Inc.Behind the Scenes of Baby, Don't Hurt Me with Chris Kattan
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- By: Budd Friedman, Tripp Whetsell, Jay Leno - foreword
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 10 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1963, 30-year-old Friedman - who had recently quit his job as a Boston advertising executive and returned to his hometown of New York to become a theatrical producer - opened a coffee house for Broadway performers called the Improvisation. His goal? Simply to make a living, and if all went according to plan, to also make enough professional contacts to be able to mount his first Broadway show within a year's time. Later shortened to the Improv, its first West 44th Street location was in a seedy section of Manhattan's Hell's Kitchen.
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Shockingly tone deaf
- By JenniferW on 06-28-23
By: Budd Friedman, and others
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This Is Your Captain Speaking
- My Fantastic Voyage through Hollywood, Faith, and Life
- By: Gavin MacLeod
- Narrated by: Gavin MacLeod
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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The remarkable life, career, and faith journey of the star of The Love Boat and The Mary Tyler Moore Show. For 16 years, millions of Americans welcomed Gavin MacLeod into their living rooms every Saturday night. This veteran of stage and screen transformed himself from a seasoned character actor into the leading, lovable father-figure of The Love Boat at the height of TV's boom years. For more than 30 years, Gavin MacLeod has served as the global ambassador for Princess Cruises.
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Get to know Gavin as a person, not the actor
- By Don Lance on 11-16-13
By: Gavin MacLeod
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Coreyography
- By: Corey Feldman
- Narrated by: Corey Feldman
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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In this brave and moving memoir, Corey Feldman is revealing the truth about what his life was like behind the scenes: His is a past that included physical, drug, and sexual abuse, a dysfunctional family from which he was emancipated at age fifteen, three high-profile arrests for drug possession, a nine-month stint in rehab, and a long, slow crawl back to the top of the box office.
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Didn't like the Two Coreys, but liked this.
- By ricketsj on 04-29-14
By: Corey Feldman
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As If!
- The Oral History of Clueless, as Told by Amy Heckerling, the Cast, and the Crew
- By: Jen Chaney
- Narrated by: Jorjeana Marie
- Length: 9 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Will we ever get tired of watching Cher navigate Beverly Hills High School and discover true love in the movie Clueless? As if! Written by Amy Heckerling and starring Alicia Silverstone, Clueless is an enduring comedy classic that remains one of the most streamed movies on Netflix, Amazon, and iTunes even 20 years after its release. In the first book of its kind, Jen Chaney has compiled an oral history of the making of this iconic film using recollections and insights collected from key cast and crew members.
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Awesome book, awful narrator.
- By Anonymous on 08-08-15
By: Jen Chaney
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You Might Remember Me
- The Life and Times of Phil Hartman
- By: Mike Thomas
- Narrated by: Corey Snow
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Both joyous tribute and serious biography, Mike Thomas' You Might Remember Me is a celebration of Phil Hartman's multi-faceted career and an exhaustively reported, warts-and-all examination of his often intriguing and sometimes complicated life - a powerful, humor-filled and disquieting portrait of a man who was loved by many, admired by millions and taken from them far too early.
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I Will Remember You Phil Hartman
- By Roxanna on 12-19-14
By: Mike Thomas
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I Blame Dennis Hopper
- And Other Stories from a Life Lived in and out of the Movies
- By: Illeana Douglas
- Narrated by: Illeana Douglas
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1969, Illeana Douglas' parents saw the film Easy Rider and were transformed. Taking Dennis Hopper's words - "That's what it's all about, man" - to heart, they abandoned their comfortable upper-middle-class life and gave Illeana a childhood filled with hippies, goats, free spirits, and free love. Illeana writes, "Since it was all out of my control, I began to think of my life as a movie, with a Dennis Hopper-like father at the center of it." I Blame Dennis Hopper is a rollicking, funny, at times tender exploration of the way movies can change our lives.
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Loved Every Moment of this Book!
- By Susan Van Allen on 01-20-16
By: Illeana Douglas
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Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
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Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
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Will
- By: Will Smith, Mark Manson
- Narrated by: Will Smith
- Length: 16 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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One of the most dynamic and globally recognized entertainment forces of our time opens up fully about his life, in a brave and inspiring book that traces his learning curve to a place where outer success, inner happiness, and human connection are aligned. Along the way, Will tells the story in full of one of the most amazing rides through the worlds of music and film that anyone has ever had.
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Will sure loves Will
- By Kejeco on 11-18-21
By: Will Smith, and others
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You Couldn't Ignore Me If You Tried
- The Brat Pack, John Hughes, and Their Impact on a Generation
- By: Susannah Gora
- Narrated by: Kelli Tager
- Length: 15 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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The landscape that the Brat Pack memorialized is rich with cultural themes and significance, and has influenced an entire generation who still believe that life always turns out like an '80s movie. You Couldn't Ignore Me If You Tried takes us back to that era, through Susannah Gora's interviews with key players such as Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, Judd Nelson, Andrew McCarthy, and John Cusack, and mines all the material from the movies to the music to the way the films were made to show how they helped shape our visions for romance, friendship, society, and success.
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Brings me back to my teenage years! Fantastic Narration! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- By Amazmama on 06-24-22
By: Susannah Gora
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All About Me!
- My Remarkable Life in Show Business
- By: Mel Brooks
- Narrated by: Mel Brooks
- Length: 15 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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At 95, the legendary Mel Brooks continues to set the standard for comedy across television, film, and the stage. Now, for the first time, this EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony) winner shares his story in his own words.
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Wonderful and nostalgic
- By GAT on 12-07-21
By: Mel Brooks
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I'm Hosting as Fast as I Can!
- By: Tom Bergeron
- Narrated by: Tom Bergeron
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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In I'm Hosting as Fast as I Can!, Tom elaborates on the process by which he is able to sit calmly and patiently, without being distracted, at any time, no matter how hectic, as well as respond quickly (and hilariously) when Marie Osmond faints at his feet on live TV. Haven't seen it? Check it out on YouTube. The man is always in control.
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A wonderful "read"
- By Chrys on 04-29-09
By: Tom Bergeron
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Whether she’s playing an “age-defying” book editor on television or dazzling audiences on the Broadway stage, Sutton Foster manages to make it all look easy. How? Crafting. From the moment she picked up a cross stitch needle to escape the bullying chorus girls in her early performing days, she was hooked. Cross stitching led to crocheting, crocheting led to collages, which led to drawing, and so much more. Channeling her emotions into her creations centered Sutton as she navigated the significant moments in her life and gave her tangible reminders of her experiences.
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Connection to crafting weak.
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Anyone who saw an episode of Saturday Night Live between 1999 and 2006 knows Rachel Dratch. She was hilarious! So what happened to her? After a misbegotten part as Jenna on the pilot of 30 Rock, Dratch was only getting offered roles as "Lesbians. Secretaries. Sometimes secretaries who are lesbians." Her career at a low point, Dratch suddenly had time for yoga, dog- sitting, learning Spanish - and dating. After all, what did a forty-something single woman living in New York have to lose?
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Flowing comedic reality
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Canada
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Comedy superstar Mike Myers writes from the (true patriot) heart about his 53-year relationship with his beloved Canada. Mike Myers is a world-renowned actor, director and writer and the man behind some of the most memorable comic characters of our time. But, as he says, "No description of me is truly complete without saying I'm a Canadian". He has often winked and nodded to Canada in his outrageously accomplished body of work, but now he turns the spotlight full-beam on his homeland.
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Thoughtful and perfect for any X-Pat from Canada
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What listeners say about Baby, Don't Hurt Me
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- R. Dack
- 06-01-19
Great book. Congratulations Chris. Lorne Mich lied
I read so many audible books that I get bored very easy but this one kept my attention all the way through. This book covers from his earliest days to his Saturday Night Live years, movie career and the terrible accident on the set of SNL that he had to keep quiet in order to maintain a living. one more thing about SNL. It's a terrible thing when your boss at SNL and also the executive producer of a film you're doing with Will Ferrell asks you to do something with the director of the film or it won't get made. the recent controversy, it's all true. There's nothing worse than damaging a long friendship between yourself and Will Ferrell having no choice but to keep it quiet while damaging a friendship and trying to keep a movie from being cancelled and keeping your career at SNL. It's a real slimeball move on Lorne Michaels - he lied saying it never happened. You don't go to that much detail as Chris did if it was a lie. Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan relationship is still damaged to this day.
I had a chance to meet Chris in Minneapolis last year. Nice guy. Very down-to-earth. My favorite skits are goth talk, Kippy Strug , and the lounge with Fred Armisen as his elderly backup drummer. Come back to Cinema Grill. Rick in Minneapolis.
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- Jessica S
- 11-27-19
It’s okay
He’s has an interesting life. It was nice that it wasn’t all “trying to be funny”. But some of the stories seemed superfluous and it was surprising to hear him talk badly about people. I hope that he makes money from the book. He has seemed to get a raw deal, but maybe not as much as he thinks.
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- Brigitte
- 11-11-19
Good listen
I really enjoyed the stories in this book. I've been a longtime fan of Chris Kattan and he didn't disappoint. My only gripe is that it wasn't on chronological order, and while I do understand why he did it this way, I found it a little hard to follow at times how old he was during some stories. Definitely worth the listen if you're a fan. (He's hilarious, why wouldn't you be a fan?)
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- JIM HOWELL
- 10-02-20
Hope he gets what he wants out of this
It was a satisfying read, but it does – whether you are a Chris Kattan fan or not - make you concerned about his overall well-being. And I don’t just mean his neck problem. While I realize that if he read this, he would probably be hurt by it, his thin skin, tendency to pout, and desperate need to be loved seem to sabotage him throughout the book. His timing in doing the “Why me?” bit was so consistently bad over the years (especially when he would make a bad choice, but seemingly point fingers at others around him instead) that he basically gave most of his friends and relations plenty of reason to walk away from him. That’s sad. He talked several times in the latter couple of chapters about always taking care of himself, yet he spent a lot of time in the book being needy. Again, I pray that that insecurity is lessening.
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- Alexander
- 03-08-20
Chris Kattan Opens Up- very honest
I always enjoyed Chris Kattan on SNL and always wondered what happened to him. Sad story, but still funny at times since Chris is the narrator and performs his book more than just reads it.
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- Edward Rossi
- 02-15-23
Extremely interesting and enjoyable
Chris has enjoyed a very interesting life which he shares in a very engrossing way. This book is funny although has serious moments as well. I really enjoyed the book
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- David N.
- 05-26-19
Listen & Be Amazed
Chris Kattan lays all of his cards on the table, and comes up Aces. A tale of success and defeat, and more self defeat. His narration gives a punctuated accent to a great story.
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- Di Mac
- 10-03-21
Always wondered…
I always wondered what had happened to Chris Kattan, as I loved him on SNL. Very disappointed that SNL didn’t step up and do right by him. ❤️
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- Linda K. Neville
- 01-01-22
So great to understand where he’s been!
What a detailed and humbling perspective. He’s honest about his mistakes, open about betrayals without trashing people, and just an interesting storyteller. Excellent narration.
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- Violet
- 01-12-22
No forward
Enjoying this a lot so far. If there’s is a “forward by Seth Meyers”, I cannot find it. ;0(
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