Because Our Fathers Lied
A Memoir of Truth and Family, from Vietnam to Today
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Narrated by:
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Keith Sellon-Wright
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Craig McNamara
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By:
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Craig McNamara
About this listen
This unforgettable father and son story confronts the legacy of the Vietnam War across two generations: “an important book that should be read by every American” (Ron Kovic, Vietnam Veteran and author of Born on the Fourth of July).
Craig McNamara came of age in the political tumult and upheaval of the late 60s. While Craig McNamara would grow up to take part in anti-war demonstrations, his father, Robert McNamara, served as John F. Kennedy's Secretary of Defense and the architect of the Vietnam War. This searching and revealing memoir offers an intimate picture of one father and son at pivotal periods in American history. Because Our Fathers Lied is more than a family story—it is a story about America.
Before Robert McNamara joined Kennedy's cabinet, he was an executive who helped turn around Ford Motor Company. Known for his tremendous competence and professionalism, McNamara came to symbolize "the best and the brightest." Craig, his youngest child and only son, struggled in his father's shadow. When he ultimately fails his draft board physical, Craig decides to travel by motorcycle across Central and South America, learning more about the art of agriculture and making what he defines as an honest living. By the book's conclusion, Craig McNamara is farming walnuts in Northern California and coming to terms with his father's legacy.
Because Our Fathers Lied tells the story of the war from the perspective of a single, unforgettable American family.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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Critic reviews
“Moving and courageous… a complicated man comes into intimate view, as does the ‘mixture of love and rage’ at the heart of their relationship… Through his own personal story of disappointment and disillusionment, McNamara captures an intergenerational conflict and a journey of moral identity.”—Adrienne Westenfeld, Esquire
“McNamara’s staggeringly heartfelt debut memoir is the tale of a son’s lifelong yearning for his father to look him squarely in the eye and tell him the unvarnished truth, regardless of the scale of his missteps or regrets. In that sense it’s a universally relatable story since countless parents shield their children from hard facts and struggle to be present.”—Jessica Zach, San Francisco Chronicle
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I learned so much. Great pacing, felt like I time-traveled
- By Jess Fuchs on 02-07-22
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George & Barbara Bush
- A Great American Love Story
- By: Ellie LeBlond Sosa, Kelly Anne Chase, George W. Bush - foreword
- Narrated by: Erin Bennett
- Length: 5 hrs
- Unabridged
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"To begin with I was in love and I am in love so that's not hard," Barbara Bush told her granddaughter Ellie LeBlond Sosa. Sosa had asked for the secret to her and President George H.W. Bush's 77-year love affair that withstood World War II separation, a leap of faith into the oil fields of West Texas, the painful loss of a child, a political climb to the highest office, and after the White House, the transition back to a "normal" life. Sosa and co-author Kelly Anne Chase paint the portrait of the enduring relationship of George and Barbara Bush.
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A Beautiful, Uplifting Read!
- By Cathi Hughes on 03-18-23
By: Ellie LeBlond Sosa, and others
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The Song and the Silence
- A Story About Family, Race, and What Was Revealed in a Small Town in the Mississippi Delta While Searching for Booker Wright
- By: Yvette Johnson
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 9 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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"Have to keep that smile", said Booker Wright in the 1966 NBC documentary Mississippi: A Self-Portrait. At the time Wright was a waiter in a Whites-only restaurant and a local business owner who would become an unwitting icon of the civil rights movement. For he did the unthinkable: Before a national audience, he described what life was truly like for the Black people of Greenwood, Mississippi.
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Exceeded every expectation
- By ZeeJ84 on 05-23-21
By: Yvette Johnson
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Alligator Candy
- A Memoir
- By: David Kushner
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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From award-winning journalist David Kushner, Alligator Candy is a reported memoir about family, survival, and the unwavering power of love. David Kushner grew up in the early 1970s in the Florida suburbs. It was when kids still ran free, riding bikes and disappearing into the nearby woods for hours at a time. One morning in 1973, however, everything changed. David’s older brother, Jon, biked through the forest to the convenience store for candy, and never returned.
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Very well done
- By Nic on 06-27-18
By: David Kushner
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Sign My Name to Freedom
- A Memoir of a Pioneering Life
- By: Betty Reid-Soskin
- Narrated by: Betty Reid-Soskin
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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In Betty Reid Soskin’s 96 years of living, she has been a witness to a grand sweep of American history. When she was born in 1921, the lynching of African-Americans was a national epidemic, blackface minstrel shows were the most popular American form of entertainment, white women had only just won the right to vote, and most African-Americans in the Deep South could not vote at all. From her great-grandmother, who had been enslaved until her mid-20s, Betty heard stories of slavery and the times of terror and struggle for Black folk that followed.
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How she stressed Creole, but I guess it was a badge if honor not being regular black.
- By Satisfied customer on 05-21-24
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The Pendulum
- A Granddaughter's Search for Her Family's Forbidden Nazi Past
- By: Julie Lindahl
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
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This powerful memoir traces Brazilian-born American Julie Lindahl's journey to uncover her grandparents' role in the Third Reich, as she is driven to understand how and why they became members of Hitler's elite, the SS. Out of the unbearable heart of the story - the unclaimed guilt that devours a family through the generations - emerges an unflinching will to learn the truth.
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Exceptional
- By Jean on 01-14-19
By: Julie Lindahl
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Without You, There Is No Us
- My Time with the Sons of North Korea's Elite
- By: Suki Kim
- Narrated by: Janet Song
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Every day, three times a day, the students march in two straight lines, singing praises to Kim Jong-il and North Korea: Without you, there is no motherland. Without you, there is no us. It is a chilling scene, but gradually Suki Kim, too, learns the tune and, without noticing, begins to hum it. It is 2011, and all universities in North Korea have been shut down for an entire year, the students sent to construction fields - except for the 270 students at the all-male Pyongyang University of Science and Technology (PUST).
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The King and I meets Mary Poppins
- By Michael on 02-22-15
By: Suki Kim
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Reading My Father
- A Memoir
- By: Alexandra Styron
- Narrated by: Alexandra Styron
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Alexandra Styron's parents—the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Sophie’s Choice and his political activist wife, Rose—were, for half a century, leading players on the world’s cultural stage. Alexandra was raised under both the halo of her father’s brilliance and the long shadow of his troubled mind. Reading My Father portrays the epic sweep of an American artist’s life. It is also a tale of filial love, beautifully written with humor, compassion, and grace.
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William Styron Ranks...
- By Douglas on 12-22-13
By: Alexandra Styron
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Eleanor and Hick
- The Love Affair That Shaped a First Lady
- By: Susan Quinn
- Narrated by: Kimberly Farr
- Length: 13 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1932 Eleanor Roosevelt entered the claustrophobic, duty-bound existence of the first lady with dread. By that time she had put her deep disappointment in her marriage behind her and developed an independent life - now threatened by the public role she would be forced to play. A lifeline came to her in the form of a feisty campaign reporter for the Associated Press: Lorena Hickok. Over the next 30 years, until Eleanor's death, the two women carried on an extraordinary relationship.
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An Icon who was real.
- By Francine Fields on 08-17-17
By: Susan Quinn
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Life Beyond Measure
- Letters to My Great-Granddaughter
- By: Sidney Poitier
- Narrated by: Sidney Poitier
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Abridged
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Sidney Poitier is one of the most revered actors in the history of Hollywood. He has overcome enormous obstacles in extraordinary times and is a role model for many Americans because of his convictions, bravery, and grace. Poitier reflects on his amazing life in Life Beyond Measure, offering inspirational advice and personal stories in the form of extended letters to his great-granddaughter.
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Mix of family history and life advice.
- By Adam Shields on 10-31-19
By: Sidney Poitier
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Strength in What Remains
- A Journey of Remembrance and Forgetting
- By: Tracy Kidder
- Narrated by: Tracy Kidder
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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In this new book, Kidder gives us the superb story of a hero for our time. Strength in What Remains is a wonderfully written, inspiring account of one man’s remarkable American journey and of the ordinary people who helped him–a brilliant testament to the power of will and of second chances.
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My Favorite of Kidder's Books
- By Roy on 08-31-09
By: Tracy Kidder
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Driving Miss Norma
- One Family's Journey Saying ""Yes"" to Living
- By: Tim Bauerschmidt, Ramie Liddle
- Narrated by: Christopher Grove, Nan McNamara
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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When Miss Norma was diagnosed with uterine cancer, she was advised to undergo surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy. But instead of confining herself to a hospital bed for what could be her last stay, Norma - newly widowed after nearly seven decades of marriage - rose to her full height of five feet and told her doctor, "I'm 90 years old. I'm hitting the road." Packing what she needed, Norma took off on an unforgettable cross-country journey with three professional nomads - her retired son, Tim; his wife, Ramie; and their standard poodle, Ringo.
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so moving and inspiring
- By Travis Stone on 07-10-19
By: Tim Bauerschmidt, and others
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The Red-Haired Woman
- A Novel
- By: Orhan Pamuk
- Narrated by: John Lee, Katharine Lee McEwan
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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On the outskirts of a town 30 miles from Istanbul, a master well digger and his young apprentice are hired to find water on a barren plain. As they struggle in the summer heat, excavating without luck meter by meter, the two will develop a filial bond neither has known before - not the poor middle-aged bachelor nor the middle-class boy whose father disappeared after being arrested for politically subversive activities. The pair will come to depend on each other and exchange stories reflecting disparate views of the world.
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Drags On
- By T. Conrad on 10-25-17
By: Orhan Pamuk
What listeners say about Because Our Fathers Lied
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- William H. Gibbons
- 04-28-23
Interesting story.
Craig was a product of the time. I can understand the stress that must have been between him and his father and Craig's effort to create his own life.
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- A. Volzer
- 07-13-22
not an expose on Robert McNamara
This is not an expose on Robert McNamara or his legacy, but rather the feelings of a son watching shadows on the cave walls. i bought this because i wanted to read what craig had to say before going to his presentation/book signing at his alma mater. i listened to the first 7 chapters where Craig describes a sheltered childhood and the process of discovering who his father is from the polite or implied actions and remarks of others. coming from a political family myself, if you are going to burn the house down by going public, this is more like setting the trash can on fire in your bedroom and hoping it catches the curtain. maybe im just a jaded millennial who has only known the shocking politcal content of post 9/11 through Trump and traveled a but too much, or i've read too much on the censored history of US political economy and its military project over the past century and expected some real dirt. or i took the title too literally. it is good for what it is, a memoir of a son who grew up in the shadow of political greats, but it isnt about the lies his father told.
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- Thomas H
- 08-03-22
disappointing
As a military brat of that era who confronted the same issues with my father, I was disappointed that he never "had it out" with his dad. Of course his dad was clearly able to compartmentalize -- a trait evidently shared through the generations. There is no way I would still be alive had I decorated my room as he did. I wonder if his war-criminal father every cared about any one any thing ever. I hope he's experiencing unending torment, where ever he is.
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- Sherry Y. Artemenko
- 09-06-24
No Whiz Kid
Craig McNamara was born into a family, a world, and a set of challenges that were unique. I would need to preface my comments in that while we share the same age, the path he trod and those he traveled with presented a journey that was absolutely unique to him, and was understandably troubling as he dealt with his feelings regarding his dad‘s role in the US government during Vietnam, as a very capable operator and achiever of his generation. A man himself who had his own challenges, his own traumas as far as the family, growing up in with his own fears and frustration which shaped his early experiences along with his biology and the people around him.
I empathize with Craigie, and through his description can understand somewhat of his pain, but I have to say as a book, this was very unfulfilling.
1-by enlarge it came off as a lot of whining
2-I was looking for some historical context with which to evaluate that timeframe, it’s events it’s people and it’s atmosphere. In this regard, it was rather thin.
3-as a longtime audible customer, I have enjoyed some books that have been read by the authors. I think Craig should have tried to do this, because as a third-party relayed the story, while certainly not acting it out, I think embellished things in a certain way and increased the whine factor, as he was trying to understand the emotions to reflect.
4-I’d like to be somewhat neutral, in evaluating his socialist, and in some cases, Buddhist, priorities. I would not assert that he is either a Buddhist or a socialist or a communist, but I think he cut socialism a break and especially communism’s attempts at collective farming and other history,that involved the purge of the kulak farmers, the starvation of hundreds of thousands if not, millions of people as socialist and communist administrators tried to reform agriculture– industry – commercial methods.
5-I think it’s helpful to have some context for the fear that was associated with communism coming out of the second world war and dealing with Stalin dealing with the division of Germany, the Korean war, the rise of Mai Za Dong, and the bold, direct aggressive posture of the communist movement. It was a terribly hard problem and challenge to deal with, they probably still were some good people in those institutions, but after what was fought for and defeated in World War II, the prospects of having to deal with larger more powerful, better resourced villains was daunting.
6-while I think Craigs love for his dad was sincere. He was certainly villainized, and it would have helped if he could have somehow or other placed that villainy in the broader understanding of national leadership and military figures. The horror of 60,000 who died and hundreds of thousands or millions that may have died in Southeast Asia, were sins that have to be looked at somehow other in the perspective of the dropping of atomic bombs, Nazi genocide, Okinawa, Guadalcanal,, Iwo Jima, and would be villains of conflicts gone by with names like Abraham Lincoln, Robert Lee, Jefferson Davis, Napoleon and many others who found themselves in the situation where they would like to have been able to eject themselves, but carried on as best they could.
7-generally I was disappointed … I stuck it out but barely
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- Keith W. Fridae
- 08-18-22
A quest of a son to understand his famous father.
Craig McNamara grew up in the aura of Camelot and the Armageddon of Vietnam. He thought the keys to understanding were held by his father. Although he could never quite find answers through his famous father, he discovered wisdom and understanding in his family, his community, and the land.
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- Gary P.
- 12-08-22
Interesting book from a spoiled elite
First I will say this was an interesting personal story about the tragic event and effects of the Vietnam War. It was a good read from an unusual perspective on the disaster of the US involvement in that conflict. Robert McNamara certainly bears much of the blame for it with many others without a doubt, Any historian or history buff will enjoy this story from the self tortured son of the defense secretary. That being said I took a strong personal dislike of Craig McNamara while listening to the book. His self imposed and ridiculous notion that he personally bears some kind of guilt or responsibility for his fathers actions is self serving pity nonsense. His way of “ dealing” with this guilt is by blowing off an elite education at Stanford, running around South America screwing around, courting a married woman and admiring communist dictators like Fidel Castro. Then he returns after his screw you America tour and proceeds to help himself to a great public education at UC Davis. Then ends up a clearly well off organic farmer a stones throw from Napa. Tough life. I grew up in the area and still live not far from Craig McNamara in the Sacramento Valley. I would have given away my left arm for his opportunities and experience. But my WW2 generation father was not the Secretary of Defense. So you work with what you have I guess. I always struggle with understanding people like the author who criticize everything about America while that very society allowed him to become and succeed at exactly what he wanted. I doubt that opportunity would have been available in Cuba, China or any other socialist paradise, Craig McNamara’s blind spot about his place in life is as big as his fathers was without the world wide effects. Craig makes me understand why my kids roll their eyes and say “ok boomer”. However that being said I am encouraging my 21 year old son, a history major right now at Cal State to read it. I ca’t wait to hear his perspective.
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- John C. Miller
- 05-28-22
Unfair blame
Author seems to blame his father exclusively for the war in Vietnam and all its atrocities when his dad was but a cog in conducting a war created by Ike and JFK and continued by Nixon.
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- Charles
- 10-04-22
Outstanding book
I think this book describes how many fathers from the World War II generation could be devastatingly emotionally distant in certain areas of their life. The authors difficult school years and eventual conquering of his learning disability is interesting. His motorcycle trip into South America shows how young boys take risks that could result in death. And the incredible beauty of the south American countries. He did not Escape or dull his senses with drug abuse. He just struggled to find his place in the world.
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- DLo
- 12-14-24
Very interesting perspective of our country
I enjoyed the history of this book. It provides two separate perspectives of American history in one book.
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- Mark A Collins
- 11-27-22
What’s the lesson
I read to learn and / or be entertained - neither from this book . What son doesn’t have issues with his father growing up but what son would publicly trash his father , especially in light of how many times he claimed to love him .
In terms of gaining knowledge about the 60 ‘s and the vietnam war zero knowledge gained . If interested it that read halberdtam or sheenhan .
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