Bell Hammers
The True Folk Tale of Little Egypt, Illinois
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Narrated by:
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Lancelot Schaubert
About this listen
Remmy grows up with Beth in Bellhammer, Illinois as oil and coal companies rob the land of everything that made it paradise. Under his Grandad, he learns how to properly prank his neighbors, friends, and foes. Beth tries to fix Remmy by taking him to church. Under his Daddy, Remmy starts the Bell Hammer Construction Company, which depends on contracts from Texarco Oil. And Beth argues with him about how to build a better business.
Together, Remmy and Beth start to build a great neighborhood of "merry men" carpenters: a paradise of s’mores, porch furniture, newborn babies, and summer trips to Branson where their boys pop the tops off of the neighborhood’s two hundred soda bottles. Their witty banter builds a kind of castle among a growing nostalgia.
Then, one of Jim Johnstone’s faulty Texarco oil derricks falls down on their house and poisons their neighborhood's well.
Poisoned wells escalate to torched dog houses. Torched dog houses escalate to stolen carpentry tools and cancelled contracts. Cancelled contracts escalate to eminent domain. Sick of the attacks from Texaco Oil on his neighborhood, Remmy assembles his merry men:
"We need the world's greatest prank. One grand glorious jest that'll bloody the nose of that tyrant. Besides, pranks and jokes don't got no consequences, right?"
©2020 Lance Schaubert (P)2023 Lance SchaubertListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Schaubert recounts a mischievous man's eight decades in Illinois's Little Egypt region in his picaresque debut. Remmy's life of constant schemes and pranks and a lifelong feud with classmate Jim Johnstone and the local oil drilling company proves consequential. This is a hoot." (Publisher's Weekly)
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Story
Pulitzer Prize and National Book Award winner Annie Proulx's That Old Ace in the Hole is told through the eyes of Bob Dollar, a young Denver man trying to make good in a bad world. Dollar is out of college but aimless, when he takes a job with Global Pork Rind - his task to locate big spreads of land in the Texas and Oklahoma panhandles that can be purchased by the corporation and converted to hog farms.
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Doesn't work as a novel
- By Sarah C on 05-30-12
By: Annie Proulx
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Junkie Love
- By: Joe Clifford
- Narrated by: Timothy McKean
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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From the cow fields of Connecticut to the streets of San Francisco, Joe Clifford's Junkie Love traverses the lost highways of America, down the rocky roads of mental illness to the dead ends of addiction. Based on Clifford's own harrowing experience with drugs as a rock 'n' roll wannabe in the 1990s, the audiobook draws on the best of Kerouac and the Beats, injecting a heavy dose of pulp fiction as it threads a rollicking narrative through a doomed love triangle, lit up by the many strange characters he meets along the way.
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WOW! an inside look into an junkies mind
- By TinkerMel on 05-16-17
By: Joe Clifford
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Ava's Man
- By: Rick Bragg
- Narrated by: Rick Bragg
- Length: 5 hrs and 26 mins
- Abridged
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With the same emotional generosity and effortlessly compelling storytelling that made All Over But the Shoutin’ a beloved bestseller, Rick Bragg continues his personal history of the Deep South. This time he’s writing about his grandfather Charlie Bundrum, a man who died before Bragg was born but left an indelible imprint on the people who loved him. Drawing on their memories, Bragg reconstructs the life of an unlettered roofer who kept food on his family’s table through the worst of the Great Depression
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Deeply moving
- By Kate on 08-12-03
By: Rick Bragg
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June Bug
- By: Chris Fabry
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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For as long as she can remember, June Bug and her father have traveled the back roads of the country in their beat-up RV, spending many nights parked at Walmart. One morning, as she walks past the greeter at the front of the store, her eyes are drawn to the pictures of missing children, where she is shocked to see herself. This discovery begins a quest for the truth about her father, the mother he rarely speaks about, and ultimately herself.
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Get Out The Box Of Tissues
- By 20eagle16 on 07-03-21
By: Chris Fabry
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The Moonshine War
- By: Elmore Leonard
- Narrated by: Mark Hammer
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Dual Meaders, Doc Taulbee, and their gang of city slickers set out to steal thousands of dollars worth of homemade Kentucky Whiskey from Son Martin, a hell-raising country boy, during the midst of Prohibition.
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Classic Elmore Leonard
- By David I. Williams on 01-28-12
By: Elmore Leonard
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Burro Genius
- A Memoir
- By: Victor Villaseñor
- Narrated by: Robert Fass
- Length: 11 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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When Victor Villaseñor stood at the podium and looked at the group of teachers amassed before him, he became enraged. He had never spoken in public before. His mind was flooded with childhood memories filled with humiliation, misunderstanding, and abuse at the hands of his teachers. With his heart pounding, he began to speak of these incidents. To his disbelief, the teachers before him responded to his embittered recollection with a standing ovation. Many could not contain their own tears.
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The VERY WORST NARRATOR EVER!
- By DIANE ELLIS on 02-20-20
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Supervolcano
- Eruption
- By: Harry Turtledove
- Narrated by: Jim Frangione
- Length: 15 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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A supervolcanic eruption in Yellowstone Park sends lava and mud flowing toward populated areas, and clouds of ash drifting across the country. The fallout destroys crops and livestock, clogs machinery, and makes cities uninhabitable. Those who survive find themselves caught in an apocalyptic catastrophe in which humanity has no choice but to rise from the ashes and recreate the world.
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Jerky horrible narration.
- By Ann on 04-23-12
By: Harry Turtledove
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Behind the Curve: Book 1
- The Farm, Book 1
- By: Boyd Craven III
- Narrated by: Kevin Pierce
- Length: 6 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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When the pandemic hit, nobody was expecting it to be as bad as it was. The economy barely survived the lockdowns, but it staggered along until civil unrest shattered people’s hope of better times to come. With it being an election year, more and more Americans were waking up to the idea that they truly were behind the curve. The hope was if they did not get sick, run out of money, or could avoid violent mobs, they would be fine.
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Great idea, too crude.
- By Larry Amon on 01-13-21
By: Boyd Craven III
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King of the Road
- True Tales from a Legendary Ice Road Trucker
- By: Alex Debogorski
- Narrated by: Jay Snyder
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Inside one of the world's most dangerous jobs with the star of History's top-rated reality show, Ice Road Truckers. The highest-rated reality show ever to hit the History channel, Ice Road Truckers follows the heart-pounding adventures of the tough-as-nails truckers who risk peril every day to deliver goods and supplies in Alaska and across Canada's frozen north. Alex Debogorski here shares tales of his adventures - and misadventures.
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Awesome Book.
- By Anonymous User on 10-28-19
By: Alex Debogorski
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The Mansion
- By: William Faulkner
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 15 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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The Mansion tells of Mink Snopes, whose archaic sense of honor brings about the downfall of his cousin, Flem. "For all his concern with the South, Faulkner was actually seeking out the nature of man," noted Ralph Ellison. "Thus we must turn to him for that continuity of moral purpose which made for the greatness of our classics." This volume includes a new introduction to the trilogy by acclaimed novelist George Garrett, author of Death of the Fox and The Succession.
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Mink Cometh
- By daniel fam on 11-01-12
By: William Faulkner
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Wish You Were Here
- By: Sneaky Pie Brown, Rita Mae Brown
- Narrated by: Kate Forbes
- Length: 8 hrs
- Unabridged
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Curiosity just might be the death of Mrs. Murphy - and her human companion, Mary Minor "Harry" Haristeen. Small towns are like families: Everyone lives very close together. . .and everyone keeps secrets. Crozet, Virginia, is a typical small town - until its secrets explode into murder. Crozet's thirty-something post-mistress, Mary Minor "Harry" Haristeen, has a tiger cat (Mrs. Murphy) and a Welsh Corgi (Tucker), a pending divorce, and a bad habit of reading postcards not addressed to her.
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Language of the Cats
- By CHo Meir on 01-29-13
By: Sneaky Pie Brown, and others
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The Great Glorious Goddamn of It All
- A Novel
- By: Josh Ritter
- Narrated by: Josh Ritter
- Length: 6 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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In the tiny timber town of Cordelia, Idaho, 99-year-old Weldon Applegate recounts his life in all its glory, filled with tall tales writ large with murder, mayhem, avalanches, and bootlegging. It’s the story of dark pine forests brewing with ancient magic, and Weldon’s struggle as a boy to keep his father’s inherited timber claim, the Lost Lot, from the ravenous clutches of Linden Laughlin.
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That was a pretty good story….
- By Linda on 10-02-21
By: Josh Ritter
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Bring on the Blessings
- A Novel
- By: Beverly Jenkins
- Narrated by: Lynnette R. Freeman
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Bernadine Brown is a woman with money to spend. Henry Adams is a town in desperate need of cash. But after Bernadine puts up the money, she has some ideas about how the town should be run. Will the townspeople be willing to shake up their comfortable lives to share the gift they’ve been given with others who really need it?
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Not my idea of a Christian story
- By DJ Stevenson on 04-12-21
By: Beverly Jenkins
What listeners say about Bell Hammers
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Chris Lane
- 07-29-23
For fans of Josh Ritter
The first time I heard stories outside a barbershop that belong there and I didn’t feel distressed.
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- Renee Ritchie
- 05-17-23
A love letter to family
Lancelot Schaubert crafts a yarn that takes its own time, thank you very much, with a whole lot of laughs and tears along the way, sometimes in rapid succession. If you walk away from this feeling nothing, you're likely made of stone and should get that checked out.
While authors reading their own works for the audiobook is usually a crap shoot, this one was clearly read with a deep appreciation of the voice of the characters. If you like the voice and tone of Old Gods of Appalachia, you'll feel right at home here.
Will definitely read this again.
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