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Dead If I Do

By: Tate Hallaway
Narrated by: Amanda Ronconi
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Publisher's summary

The spunky heroine of Romancing the Dead returns in this utterly bewitching series. Witch Garnet Lacey is ready to walk down the aisle with the super sexy vampire Sebastian. Besides the fact that he has no pulse, things couldn't be more perfect. Until plans for the wedding start falling apart, and Sebastian's zombie-slash-vampire-slash witch ex-lover decides that both of them should be six feet under. It's just a matter of time before Garnet-who's already sharing her body with a short-tempered goddess-morphs into Bridezilla.
©2009 Lyda Morehouse (P)2013 Audible, Inc.
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What listeners say about Dead If I Do

Average customer ratings
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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Laugh out loud fun

Hippies of the past can be stoners of the present but I never thought of that until I was introduced to Garnet’s parents. As they would say in WI/MN, “What a hoot.” I laughed A LOT!!! This book just added to the quirky life of Garnet and Sebastian.

This is definitely a chick book in which paranormal meets steamy sex while causing the reader to laugh out loud. Love the series and the characters and they are characters.

Amanda Ronconi's snarky/sarcastic voice makes the book come alive. She is GREAT.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Loved it!!!

I really liked the unusual story line. Good listen! Haddon on the long trips up north .

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Would Love to See....

Spinoff series what happens w/ With William, Motiash, Izzy and possibly the rest of the Coven??????

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

This story was hilarious and also had drama.

I loved this, the Midwestern parents meet vampires, witches, vampie, and goddesses. The cursed wedding plans is hilarious!

The performance by Amanda Ronconi is superb!

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Wonderful series

The ne thing I can't figure out is how Garnet is so naïve. She just acts and then finds herself surprised and the outcome. But then we wouldn't have so much fun with what happens and how she get out of it.

Very enjoyable book.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Love this series!

I look so forward to listening to this series! The performance is endearing, I laugh out loud in some parts, and want to cry in others. Love it!

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Light read

I am starting to dislike our heroine. hard to believe our hero would fall for such a ditz. powerful witch aside she is one of the dumbest characters ever written.

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  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Didn't Grab Me

What would have made Dead If I Do better?

The story drags and I couldn't get into it so not sure anything could salvage it. I tried but I just could not go through the torture to finish it.

What do you think your next listen will be?

Not sure what I'll find for the next ones ... but July 9th it will be Fifth Grave Past the Light. I love Darynda Jones' Charley Davidson series!

Did the narration match the pace of the story?

Sadly, the narration was as bad as the story so they were uncomplimentary to each other.

What character would you cut from Dead If I Do?

The H/H and all the supporting cast.

Any additional comments?

Don't waste your time if you are used to higher end stories ... I won't be buying more of this author.

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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Big Disappointment!

I liked the series before this (liked, not loved mind you), but this book has inconsistencies that were (to me) just plain stupid & obvious. First Garnet's convinced Parrish (her ex) has turned Sebastion's ex Tereza, but when the 2 meet she burns his hand, so Garnets conviction doesn't make sense. She doesn't believe it wasn't him until she confronts him about it. Later on she talks about how it couldn't be Parrish because Tereza burned his hand. DUH! Then she asks Parrish to take care of Tereza to keep her away from Sebastion as she's interfering with the wedding plans/relationship. Parrish says yes then says no way in hell is he helping her be w/Sebastion & that he'll help Tereza instead. Then a little later on she calls him & asks him again to take care of Tereza & he immediately says OK. HUH? Then he shows up w/her at their wedding & tells Garnet he's in love w/Tereza. This is after only a few days & supposed years of professing to be madly & always in love w/Garnet (even though he was always sleeping around). HUH?
The inconsistencies with Garnet & the cold were confusing as well. Sometimes she's human & the cold is killing her & in others she's going out in a blizzard & taking off her coat & getting back to the house w/a semi conscious guy because Lilith can heat her up. Which is it? Make up your mind for jeepr's sake! I agree 100% w/A. Willamson 'cat lady's review. The book was all about the wedding & left much out & much to be desired.
Garnet did dumber than dumb things - like sending out an astral wedding invite to the entire world - which includes the Vatican's witch hating hit squad, who show up at the wedding rehearsal & have a fight then take off when she turns on her Lilith (which, BTW, didn't stop them from fighting her in other books, so why did they run scared & not come back this time?). That seemed like a gratuitous fight thrown in for the hell of it w/an unsatisfactory ending.
The relationship aspect was weird too. Garnets all jealous of him kissing his ex (understandably) but then later on after she gets over it, she easily forgives him w/o being angry when he explains that he kissed her because he was wondering if maybe he should get back together with her & wanted to see what he'd feel. Mind you, this was a kiss that was more of a make-out session & was only stopped by the coven's interruption. AND this is after telling her he did it because it was the only way to stop her from killing him & she doesn't call him on his outrageous lie, despite the fact it left the entire coven in jeopardy & almost got them killed! This is the same woman he says he never cared for in the first place & was only going to marry because he knocked her up. Then at their wedding after dancing w/Tereza when he gets back with Garnet he says saying goodbye to Teresa (who hooking up w/Parrish) would have broken his heart if he hadn't been marrying Garnet. WTH? (what the heck)? There is so much contradiction in the relationships it's confusing & lacks continuity.
The ending was pretty abrupt with many issues unresolved or not explained satisfactorily. The wedding takes place despite the curse never being retracted. So, what was the point of the curse? So many things in the book didn't seem to have a purpose or weren't backed up properly or lacked consistency & did next to nothing to contribute to the story line. The entire book was poorly thought out, lacked substance & was really just an indulgent lame waste of time about wedding problems. It seemed pretty pointless.
The only good thing about the book was the narrator, she at least, was consistent. I've never thought the Garnet voice fit the character (& that could just be my personal preference), but all the other ones are pretty good & at least it's the same from book to book, that's important.

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3 people found this helpful