Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook
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Narrated by:
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Scott Adams
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By:
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Scott Adams
About this listen
Why do all modern managers do the same bizarre things? Are these methods taught in business schools? Do managers learn by watching more experienced managers? Is it the result of mentoring?
None of the above!
Every manager learns from the same source: Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook. This valuable management handbook teaches new managers how to transform themselves from bitter and bewildered "little people" into fully functioning, paradigm-spewing management zombies.
In this indispensable guide, Dogbert reveals the many vital skills needed by managers in their daily lives, including:
The power of verbal instructions-sound like a boss while maintaining complete deniability!
Empty promises of promotion-enjoy all the motivational benefits with none of the costs!
Pretending to care-learn to hear without listening!
Company newsletter-communicate without the risk of conveying information!
Competition-experience the joy of setting your people against one another!
Decision making-be a leader without making any decisions!
Incentives-inspire employees by giving them worthless knick-knacks!
Remember: Leadership isn't something you're born with. It's something you learn by listening to Dogbert tapes.
A world-class consultant and bestselling author, Dogbert has spent much of his life giving advice to gullible people with disposable incomes. His brain has many more crevices than yours, so you'd better do what he says.
©1996 HarperCollins Publishers, Inc., All Rights Reserved, Harper Audio, a division of HarperCollins Publishers (P)1996 HarperCollins Publishers, Inc., All Rights Reserved, Harper Audio, a division of HarperCollins PublishersListeners also enjoyed...
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Editorial reviews
The Dilbert books have been successful because author Adams hits the "hot button," as well as the funny bone, of anyone who's ever worked for a corporation. This book presents the world of work from the manager's perspective. Adams's voice sounds like the guy in the cubicle next to yours, who has learned to deal with corporate bureaucracy while poking fun at it. With just the right touch of sarcasm in his narration, Adams will have you laughing while you're shouting, "He's right!" Adams wins the Management Guru award hands down.
Critic reviews
"Adams' voice sounds like the guy in the cubicle next to yours, who has learned to deal with corporate bureaucracy while poking fun at it. With just the right touch of sarcasm in his reading, Adams will have you laughing." (AudioFile)
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Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.
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Fanntastic book but maybe not for everyone....
- By So Fain on 03-27-11
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CRAY
- By: Darrell Hammond, Elizabeth Stein
- Narrated by: Darrell Hammond
- Length: 1 hr and 10 mins
- Original Recording
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He is one of the longest-running cast members on Saturday Night Live, an American comedy genius renowned for his spot-on sendups of politicians and celebrities. But off-stage, Darrell Hammond’s life was anything but a joke. In CRAY, a special audio performance captured live onstage at Audible’s Minetta Lane Theatre, Hammond brings to life his acclaimed memoir, God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked: Tales of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem.
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Thanks for sharing
- By Nickisnotgary on 09-06-24
By: Darrell Hammond, and others
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Breakfast of Champions
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: John Malkovich
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Breakfast of Champions (1973) provides frantic, scattershot satire and a collage of Vonnegut's obsessions. His recurring cast of characters and American landscape was perhaps the most controversial of his canon; it was felt by many at the time to be a disappointing successor to Slaughterhouse-Five, which had made Vonnegut's literary reputation.
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Kurt Was Right to Grade This a C
- By Dubi on 01-10-16
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
What listeners say about Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Josiah Richardson
- 04-08-20
Helpful tips on ruling your underlings
It isn't easy being sadistic. for some people though it comes naturally, and although he would argue that is simply the pragmatic way of things, Dogbert is sadistic in his own ways. If you too, are interested in learning how to be..er.. pragmatic with your employees, then this is the management handbook for you.
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Overall
- Kapila Wimalaratne
- 01-29-03
Funny because it's true
It's a worry that Scott Adams' humourous
observations seems to be so grounded in
everyday reality. You have a good laugh,
but then a terrible sense of dread settles
over you when you reflect on the state of
the world - I find it's better not to do
this and just laugh. :-)
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4 people found this helpful
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- Rebecca C. Obrien
- 09-26-20
A Great Audio of Pure Dilbert Goodness!
(You should just look at above title, but I must write 15 words to meet audible's review word count.)
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