Excuse Me While I Disappear
Tales of Midlife Mayhem
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Narrated by:
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Hillary Huber
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By:
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Laurie Notaro
About this listen
A laugh-out-loud spin on the realities, perks, opportunities, and inevitable courses of midlife.
Laurie Notaro has proved everyone wrong: she didn’t end up in rehab, prison, or cremated at a tender age. She just went gray. At past fifty, every hair’s root is a symbol of knowledge (she knows how to use a landline), experience (she rode in a car with no seat belts), and superpowers (a gray-haired lady can get away with anything).
Though navigating midlife is initially upsetting—the cracking noises coming from her new old body, receiving regular junk mail from mortuaries—Laurie accepts it. And then some. With unintentional abandon, she shoplifts a bag of russet potatoes. Heckles a rude driver from her beat-up Prius. And engages in epic trolling on Nextdoor.com. That, says Laurie, is the brilliance of growing older. With each passing day, you lose an equivalent amount of fear.
And the #1 New York Times bestselling author has never been so fearlessly funny as she is in this empowering, candid, and enlightening memoir about living life on the other side of fifty.
©2022 Laurie Notaro (P)2022 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Narrator Hillary Huber’s winsome performance grounds the author’s raucous humor and candid takes on the life of a 50-something woman. Huber intimately conveys Notaro’s observation that women somehow become invisible once they reach midlife.… These irreverent, sometimes profane, narratives strike a universal chord that will have listeners rolling with laughter at Notaro’s escapades, while also nodding their heads in agreement. This wickedly fun look at the adventures of aging should appeal to Notaro’s many fans and to readers who enjoy Jen Mann, Annabelle Gurwitch, and Jessi Klein.”—Library Journal
“Witty and full of sarcastic energy, the author fearlessly tackles what it means to get old…Unplugged, refreshingly off the hook, and consistently entertaining.”—Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
“Notaro’s fans who’ve aged right alongside her will feel like they’re on a call with a best friend.”—Publishers Weekly
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Perfect in every way!
- By Anonymous User on 10-19-22
By: Lincee Ray
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If I am Missing or Dead
- A Sister's Story of Love, Murder, and Liberation
- By: Janine Latus
- Narrated by: Shelly Frasier
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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In April 2002, Janine Latus' youngest sister, Amy, wrote a note and taped it to the inside of her desk drawer. "Today Ron Ball and I are romantically involved", it read, "but I fear I have placed myself at risk in a variety of ways. Based on his criminal past, writing this out just seems like the smart thing to do. If I am missing or dead this obviously has not protected me...."
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All About Janine
- By Ellen on 07-02-07
By: Janine Latus
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Housebroken
- Admissions of an Untidy Life
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Laurie Notaro
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Number-one New York Times best-selling author Laurie Notaro isn't exactly a domestic goddess - unless that means she fully embraces her genetic hoarding predisposition, sneaks peeks at her husband's daily journal, or has made a list of the people she wants on her Apocalypse Survival team (her husband's not on it). Notaro chronicles her chronic misfortune in the domestic arts, including cooking, cleaning, and putting on Spanx while sweaty (which should technically qualify as an Olympic sport).
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Wonderful
- By Carlie on 07-28-16
By: Laurie Notaro
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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Get Lucky
- By: Katherine Center
- Narrated by: Morgan Hallett
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Filled with wit and heart, Get Lucky by Katherine Center explores the deep bonds of sisterhood. Sarah Harper’s whole world revolved around her job at a New York advertising agency before an email snafu got her fired. Now she’s seeking refuge at her sister Mackie’s home in Houston. But Mackie, who’s unable to get pregnant, is also down-and-out these days. So Sarah decides to do something good and becomes a surrogate mother.
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Finding what matters most in life
- By bizymom7 on 10-12-24
By: Katherine Center
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Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See
- By: Juliann Garey
- Narrated by: Dan Butler
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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In her tour-de-force first novel, Juliann Garey takes us inside the restless mind, ravaged heart, and anguished soul of Greyson Todd, a successful Hollywood studio executive who leaves his wife and young daughter and for a decade travels the world giving free reign to the bipolar disorder he's been forced to keep hidden for almost 20 years.
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Psychosis or Syphilis?
- By Vira on 04-02-13
By: Juliann Garey
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True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness
- A Feminist Coming of Age
- By: Christine Lahti
- Narrated by: Christine Lahti
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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For decades, actress and director Christine Lahti has captivated the hearts and minds of her audience through iconic roles in Chicago Hope, Running on Empty, Housekeeping, And Justice for All, Swing Shift, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, God of Carnage, and The Blacklist. Now, in True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness, this acclaimed performer channels her creativity inward to share her own story for the first time.
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Christine Lahti, Actress, Activist and A+ Author!
- By L. Cat Schultz on 10-26-18
By: Christine Lahti
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Don't Lick the Minivan
- And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids
- By: Leanne Shirtliffe
- Narrated by: Trudie Kessler
- Length: 7 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia's sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia.
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I Guess You Had to Be There?
- By Sara on 09-08-14
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I Regret Nothing
- A Memoir
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling author Jen Lancaster has lived a life based on re-invention and self-improvement. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, she’s managed to document her (and her generation’s) attempts to shape up, grow up, and have it all - sometimes with disastrous results...Mistakes are one thing; regrets are another. After a girls’ weekend in Savannah makes her realize that she is - yikes! - middle-aged (binge watching is so the new binge drinking), Jen decides to make a bucket list and seize the day.
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The Smug Is Strong With This One
- By T. Filowitz on 05-24-15
By: Jen Lancaster
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The Portable Veblen
- By: Elizabeth Mckenzie
- Narrated by: Julia Gibson
- Length: 12 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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An exuberant, one-of-a-kind novel about love and family, war and nature, new money and old values by a brilliant New Yorker contributor. The Portable Veblen is a dazzlingly original novel that's as big-hearted as it is laugh-out-loud funny. Set in and around Palo Alto amid the culture clash of new money and old (antiestablishment) values, and with the specter of our current wars looming across its words, The Portable Veblen is an unforgettable look at the way we live now.
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Not what it was cracked up to be
- By Linda on 02-03-16
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
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Fat Girl Walking
- Sex, Food, Love, and Being Comfortable in Your Skin...Every Inch of It
- By: Brittany Gibbons
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Fat Girl Walking is a collection of stories from my life, my thoughts about the issues that I have faced as a woman, wife, mom, daughter, daughter-in-law, and Internet personality in regards to my weight. I have tried to be as honest as I possibly could - apologies in advance to my husband and parents, but hopefully any discomfort you feel is quickly replaced by laughter.
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One Woman's Body; One Woman's Story
- By Meghan Matt on 06-03-15
By: Brittany Gibbons
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Inheriting Edith
- A Novel
- By: Zoe Fishman
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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For years Maggie Sheets has been an invisible hand in the glittering homes of wealthy New York City clients, scrubbing, dusting, mopping, and doing all she can to keep her head above water as a single mother. Everything changes when a former employer dies, leaving Maggie a staggering inheritance - a house in Sag Harbor. The catch? It comes with an inhabitant: the deceased's 82-year old mother, Edith.
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Narrator is distracting.
- By Onelove on 05-13-20
By: Zoe Fishman
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What listeners say about Excuse Me While I Disappear
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 06-11-23
I could relate to so much in this book.
I liked her tone and approach as well as her honest look at how middle aged women are treated and how they feel. Definitely a 5 star rating for this book!
Overall 5, Story 5, Performance 5
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- SIGNTEACH
- 12-22-23
Thief of Thoughts!
Oh my goodness! Ms. Notaro crept inside my mind (a wholly dangerous affair) and plucked my very thoughts to share in her book! Thankfully, she put them in HER words, using her unparalleled wit and style. This is a wonderfully bawdy look at finally being able to walk past the feminine protection aisle in the store and thumb your nose at it! It also shares all the glory (and not) that comes with THAT time of life. I have never laughed so hard looking back at times in my life that were so trying until Ms. Notaro put her spin on everything. Holy COW; you mean I’m not the ONLY one who did/experienced that?!? Very encouraging and uplifting. Thank you so much; I really needed this!
Ms. Hillary Huber narrated flawlessly. She put the snark in all the right places, and the calm sweetness where it, too, belonged.
This is a powerful combination of author and narrator. I highly recommend a read/listen (I did both via WhisperSync)—especially if you are one of “US.” 😉
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- Pamela Ann Plumer
- 02-17-24
Amazingly real listen.
I’m 53, born in 1970, genx through and through and I can 100% relate to this book! I love being invisible, but I’m a hardcore introvert. Great book!
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- Someone
- 01-05-24
Brilliant
I feel so much of this and truly enjoyed every word! This is my first read from this writer but Everything about this was amazing! Thank you! I will be back
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- Debra Werle
- 01-03-24
I laughed out loud, great book, so funny!
One of the funniest books I've read. if you need a good belly laugh, this is your book.
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- Norma Lee
- 11-19-22
Hilarious and accurate
As a woman of this demographic, this is right on. I Loved the step husbands.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jesse
- 12-17-22
Hilarious, let the truth be told!!
I feel this in my bones. Someone needed to be honest about the horrors.of being a woman. I also loved her personal stories that were definitely unique. I didn't love the wine bag story though.
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- M
- 04-14-23
Hilarious midlife anecdotes about the ups & downs
Listen, I don't know about you, but midlife has been a bit of a rollercoaster for me. So when I stumbled upon "Excuse Me While I Disappear," I was excited to dive into some tales of midlife mayhem. And boy, did Laurie Notaro deliver!
This book had me laughing so hard that I nearly choked on my dentures (just kidding, I still have all my teeth...for now). Notaro's hilarious anecdotes about the ups and downs of midlife are relatable and oh-so-entertaining. From menopause mishaps to online shopping addiction, she covers it all.
And let's not forget about Hillary Huber's narration. Huber's delivery is spot-on, and she captures Notaro's wit and humor perfectly. I felt like I was listening to a good friend share her crazy midlife stories over a glass of wine (or three).
So if you're in need of a good laugh and some reassurance that you're not alone in your midlife struggles, "Excuse Me While I Disappear" is the book for you. Just make sure to put down your drink and use the bathroom before you start reading, because you won't want to put it down once you start.
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- Thomas Schachtele
- 11-09-22
Laurie does it again!
Waited patiently for this one. Felt just like a long awaited, wonderful visit with an old friend. The friend who makes you laugh and relates to you.
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- marjorie
- 03-24-24
Funny
Laurie knows how to tell a story and chose the perfect narrator to deliver it.
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