F.A.R.T.
Top Secret! No Kids Allowed! (The F.A.R.T. Diaries)
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $11.24
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Brian Holden
-
By:
-
Peter Bakalian
About this listen
When a young teen discovers a top-secret parenting manual, it’s kids versus grown-ups in this kooky illustrated middle-grade thriller with nonstop, seat-of-your-pants action that will delight fans of Jarrett Lerner and Stuart Gibbs.
When a tween boy (Codename: Furious Popcorn) picks up what he thinks is a cookbook and finds a diabolical parenting manual, his world turns upside down. The Ultimate Guide to Hacking Your Kids was written by an organization called F.A.R.T. (Families Against Rotten Teens), a secret society of grizzled parents whose origins date back to antiquity.
FP is determined to get to the bottom of this, but when he begins investigating F.A.R.T., the manual goes missing, his parents deny knowing anything about any kind of book, and—maybe strangest of all—kids at school start listening to their parents and teachers. What kid would ever do that?
F.A.R.T. proves to be more than just some gassy acronym and parental rules and regulations when FP and the Only Onlys, his best friends since preschool, discover F.A.R.T.’s grand plan: a brain modem that can turn kids into well-behaved zombies!
This wacky crew has no choice but to find out who’s behind the nefarious organization and save young people the world over from total F.A.R.T. domination!
©2022 Peter Bakalian. All rights reserved. (P)2022 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.Listeners also enjoyed...
-
The Lightning Fart: A Parody of The Lightning Thief
- Percy Jackson & the Olympians, Book 1
- By: Steve Lookner
- Narrated by: Brian Holden
- Length: 2 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Meet Percy Stinkson. He's just a normal kid, trying to have fun and make it through school doing as little homework as possible....until he finds out he's the son of a Greek god! And Percy's father isn't just any Greek god. He's Pooseidon, God of Farts! Percy's life is totally transformed as he travels to Camp Half-Wit, where he's trained to use his special farting powers. He's going to need these powers, because he soon learns it's up to him to save the universe by going on a quest to find Zeus's stolen iPhone! It'll be a dangerous quest, but Percy will have company: Grover, a weird kid who thinks he's a half-goat, and Annabeth, a super-hot girl who unfortunately doesn't want to date Percy. Yet. There'll be loads of action and tons of smelly farts as Percy's quest proceeds to its exciting conclusion: a showdown in the Underworld with Hades himself! The odds might be against Percy, but don't give up hope, because he'll have the ultimate weapon at his disposal: The Lightning Fart! Can a fart really save the universe?
-
-
Garbage so bad
- By Amandaa on 10-30-18
By: Steve Lookner
-
Front Desk
- By: Kelly Yang
- Narrated by: Sunny Lu
- Length: 6 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Mia Tang has a lot of secrets. Number one: She lives in a motel, not a big house. Every day, while her immigrant parents clean the rooms, 10-year-old Mia manages the front desk of the Calivista Motel and tends to its guests. Number two: Her parents hide immigrants. And if the mean motel owner, Mr. Yao, finds out they've been letting them stay in the empty rooms for free, the Tangs will be doomed. Number three: She wants to be a writer. But how can she when her mom thinks she should stick to math because English is not her first language?
-
-
Expands Compassion & Understanding (Kids&Adults!)
- By R in Oak Park on 10-12-19
By: Kelly Yang
-
Where'd You Go, Bernadette
- A Novel
- By: Maria Semple
- Narrated by: Kathleen Wilhoite
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Bernadette Fox is notorious. To her Microsoft-guru husband, she's a fearlessly opinionated partner; to fellow private-school mothers in Seattle, she's a disgrace; to design mavens, she's a revolutionary architect, and to 15-year-old Bee, she is a best friend and, simply, Mom.
Then Bernadette disappears. It began when Bee aced her report card and claimed her promised reward: a family trip to Antarctica. But Bernadette's intensifying allergy to Seattle - and people in general - has made her so agoraphobic that a virtual assistant in India now runs her most basic errands.
-
-
Misleading cover contains excellent novel
- By JillHen on 01-28-16
By: Maria Semple
-
Out of My Mind
- By: Sharon M. Draper
- Narrated by: Sisi Aisha Johnson
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Melody is not like most people. She cannot walk or talk, but she has a photographic memory; she can remember every detail of everything she has ever experienced. She is smarter than most of the adults who try to diagnose her and smarter than her classmates in her integrated classroom - the very same classmates who dismiss her as mentally challenged because she cannot tell them otherwise. But Melody refuses to be defined by cerebral palsy.
-
-
♡
- By KiNg35 on 11-17-16
By: Sharon M. Draper
-
Mr. Lemoncello's Library: Books 1-3
- Mr. Lemoncello's Library
- By: Chris Grabenstein
- Narrated by: Jesse Bernstein, Chris Grabenstein
- Length: 19 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Discover what James Patterson calls “the coolest library in the world” in the New York Times bestselling, award-winning Mr. Lemoncello’s Library series!
-
The Unteachables
- By: Gordon Korman
- Narrated by: Sarah Beth Goer, Oliver Wyman, Josh Hurley, and others
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A hilarious new middle grade novel from beloved and best-selling author Gordon Korman about what happens when the worst class of kids in school is paired with the worst teacher. The Unteachables never thought they’d find a teacher who had a worse attitude than they did. And Mr. Kermit never thought he would actually care about teaching again. Over the course of a school year, though, room 117 will experience mayhem, destruction - and maybe even a shot at redemption.
-
-
Awesome story, thoroughly enjoyable!
- By Debbie on 04-22-19
By: Gordon Korman
-
The Lightning Fart: A Parody of The Lightning Thief
- Percy Jackson & the Olympians, Book 1
- By: Steve Lookner
- Narrated by: Brian Holden
- Length: 2 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Meet Percy Stinkson. He's just a normal kid, trying to have fun and make it through school doing as little homework as possible....until he finds out he's the son of a Greek god! And Percy's father isn't just any Greek god. He's Pooseidon, God of Farts! Percy's life is totally transformed as he travels to Camp Half-Wit, where he's trained to use his special farting powers. He's going to need these powers, because he soon learns it's up to him to save the universe by going on a quest to find Zeus's stolen iPhone! It'll be a dangerous quest, but Percy will have company: Grover, a weird kid who thinks he's a half-goat, and Annabeth, a super-hot girl who unfortunately doesn't want to date Percy. Yet. There'll be loads of action and tons of smelly farts as Percy's quest proceeds to its exciting conclusion: a showdown in the Underworld with Hades himself! The odds might be against Percy, but don't give up hope, because he'll have the ultimate weapon at his disposal: The Lightning Fart! Can a fart really save the universe?
-
-
Garbage so bad
- By Amandaa on 10-30-18
By: Steve Lookner
-
Front Desk
- By: Kelly Yang
- Narrated by: Sunny Lu
- Length: 6 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Mia Tang has a lot of secrets. Number one: She lives in a motel, not a big house. Every day, while her immigrant parents clean the rooms, 10-year-old Mia manages the front desk of the Calivista Motel and tends to its guests. Number two: Her parents hide immigrants. And if the mean motel owner, Mr. Yao, finds out they've been letting them stay in the empty rooms for free, the Tangs will be doomed. Number three: She wants to be a writer. But how can she when her mom thinks she should stick to math because English is not her first language?
-
-
Expands Compassion & Understanding (Kids&Adults!)
- By R in Oak Park on 10-12-19
By: Kelly Yang
-
Where'd You Go, Bernadette
- A Novel
- By: Maria Semple
- Narrated by: Kathleen Wilhoite
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Bernadette Fox is notorious. To her Microsoft-guru husband, she's a fearlessly opinionated partner; to fellow private-school mothers in Seattle, she's a disgrace; to design mavens, she's a revolutionary architect, and to 15-year-old Bee, she is a best friend and, simply, Mom.
Then Bernadette disappears. It began when Bee aced her report card and claimed her promised reward: a family trip to Antarctica. But Bernadette's intensifying allergy to Seattle - and people in general - has made her so agoraphobic that a virtual assistant in India now runs her most basic errands.
-
-
Misleading cover contains excellent novel
- By JillHen on 01-28-16
By: Maria Semple
-
Out of My Mind
- By: Sharon M. Draper
- Narrated by: Sisi Aisha Johnson
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Melody is not like most people. She cannot walk or talk, but she has a photographic memory; she can remember every detail of everything she has ever experienced. She is smarter than most of the adults who try to diagnose her and smarter than her classmates in her integrated classroom - the very same classmates who dismiss her as mentally challenged because she cannot tell them otherwise. But Melody refuses to be defined by cerebral palsy.
-
-
♡
- By KiNg35 on 11-17-16
By: Sharon M. Draper
-
Mr. Lemoncello's Library: Books 1-3
- Mr. Lemoncello's Library
- By: Chris Grabenstein
- Narrated by: Jesse Bernstein, Chris Grabenstein
- Length: 19 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Discover what James Patterson calls “the coolest library in the world” in the New York Times bestselling, award-winning Mr. Lemoncello’s Library series!
-
The Unteachables
- By: Gordon Korman
- Narrated by: Sarah Beth Goer, Oliver Wyman, Josh Hurley, and others
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A hilarious new middle grade novel from beloved and best-selling author Gordon Korman about what happens when the worst class of kids in school is paired with the worst teacher. The Unteachables never thought they’d find a teacher who had a worse attitude than they did. And Mr. Kermit never thought he would actually care about teaching again. Over the course of a school year, though, room 117 will experience mayhem, destruction - and maybe even a shot at redemption.
-
-
Awesome story, thoroughly enjoyable!
- By Debbie on 04-22-19
By: Gordon Korman
-
Ungifted
- By: Gordon Korman
- Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross, Richard Poe, Erin Moon, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Teens and pre-teens flock to any new offering from New York Times best-selling author Gordon Korman. Told through multiple viewpoints, Ungifted follows Donovan Curtis through his year at a magnet school for gifted and talented kids. Thanks to an administrative foul-up, the decidedly mediocre student Donovan finds himself enrolled in the Academy of Scholastic Distinction. Out of place and out of luck, Donovan joins the robotics team. And while he learns a few lessons from his gifted classmates, he also teaches a few of his own.
-
-
Ungifted: One of the best books I have ever read in my life
- By Kindle Customer on 03-16-17
By: Gordon Korman
-
Dork Diaries
- Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life
- By: Rachel Renée Russell
- Narrated by: Lana Quintal
- Length: 3 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As a part of her father's bug-extermination contract, 14-year-old Nikki J. Maxwell has been awarded a scholarship to a prestigious private middle school. So...new school. New mean girl. New crush. New diary, so Nikki can spill about all of it....
-
-
fun for kids
- By elizabeth on 03-05-13
-
The Toaster Oven Mocks Me: Living with Synesthesia.
- By: Steve Margolis
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 2 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Does your toaster oven make you feel shamefully inadequate with his lofty ideals and Jeffersonian views of the world? Is the letter Q the wrong shade of yellow? Are you frequently bothered by abstract images and geometric shapes falling from the sky? If so, this book can help. The Toaster Oven Mocks Me is a humorous memoir that chronicles Steve's discovery, concealment, and eventual acceptance of synesthesia.
-
-
Loved it
- By Brianne Chiappetta on 05-09-19
By: Steve Margolis
-
UR
- By: Stephen King
- Narrated by: Holter Graham
- Length: 2 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Reeling from a painful break-up, English instructor and avid book lover Wesley Smith is haunted by his ex-girlfriend's parting shot: "Why can't you just read off the computer like everyone else?" He buys an e-book reader out of spite, but soon finds he can use the device to glimpse realities he had never before imagined, discovering literary riches beyond his wildest dreams...and all-too-human tragedies that surpass his most terrible nightmares.
-
-
shouldn't audible give us a break?
- By a on 02-19-10
By: Stephen King
-
Courage for Beginners
- By: Karen Harrington
- Narrated by: Casey Holloway
- Length: 6 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Twelve-year-old Mysti Murphy wishes she were a character in a book. If her life were fictional, she'd magically know how to deal with the fact that her best friend, Anibal Gomez, has abandoned her in favor of being a "hipster". She'd be able to take care of everyone when her dad has to spend time in the hospital. And she'd certainly be able to change her family's secret. Seventh grade is not turning out the way Mysti had planned. With the help of a hot-air balloon, her new friend Rama Khan, and a bright orange coat, can she find the courage to change?
-
-
Struggles are real.
- By Heather on 01-15-21
By: Karen Harrington
-
The Miscalculations of Lightning Girl
- By: Stacy McAnulty
- Narrated by: Ana Isabel
- Length: 6 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lucy Callahan was struck by lightning. She doesn't remember it, but it changed her life forever. The zap gave her genius-level math skills, and ever since, Lucy has been homeschooled. Now, at 12 years old, she's technically ready for college. She just has to pass 1 more test--middle school!
-
-
great empowering atory
- By a reader from Miami, FL on 05-24-19
By: Stacy McAnulty
-
Niagara Falls, or Does It?
- Hank Zipzer, The Mostly True Confessions of the World's Best Underachiever
- By: Henry Winkler, Lin Oliver
- Narrated by: Henry Winkler
- Length: 2 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hank Zipzer: He's smart. He's creative. He's funny. His pencils are sharpened. His binders are bound. He wants to do well in school, he really does. He tries not to be lazy, like his parents claim he is. So why is he always getting into trouble?
-
-
Book 1
- By THoward on 12-26-16
By: Henry Winkler, and others
-
Schooled
- By: Gordon Korman
- Narrated by: Andy Paris, Steven Boyer, Helena Prezio, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Capricorn Anderson has spent his entire life on a farm with his hippie grandmother. After an accident puts Grandma in the hospital, Cap is forced to attend Claverage Middle School and live with his guidance counselor. The tradition at Claverage is for students to nominate the biggest nerd for class president, and Cap is the obvious choice. But with his odd ways and positive outlook, Cap just might turn the joke upside down by becoming the best class president ever.
-
-
won't be able to stop listening
- By Theresa on 04-12-10
By: Gordon Korman
-
The Terrible Two
- By: Mac Barnett, Jory John
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 3 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Miles Murphy had it made. He lived in a great town near the ocean, he had two best friends, and most importantly, he had a reputation for being his town's best prankster. All of which explains why he's not happy to bemoving to Yawnee Valley, a sleepy town that's famous for one thing and one thing only: cows. Worse than that, Miles quickly discovers that Yawnee Valley already has a prankster - and a great one. If Miles is going to take the title from this mystery kid, he'll have to raise his game.
-
-
Awesome
- By JOCELYN S. on 03-08-16
By: Mac Barnett, and others
-
The Impossible Fortress
- By: Jason Rekulak
- Narrated by: Griffin Newman
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Impossible Fortress begins with a magazine. The year is 1987, and Playboy has just published scandalous photographs of Vanna White, from the popular TV game show Wheel of Fortune. For three teenage boys - Billy, Alf, and Clark - who are desperately uneducated in the ways of women, the magazine is somewhat of a Holy Grail: priceless beyond measure and impossible to attain. So, they hatch a plan to steal it.
-
-
Touching story
- By solomon d. on 05-31-17
By: Jason Rekulak
-
Emily the Strange
- The Lost Days
- By: Rob Reger
- Narrated by: Angela Goethals
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Emily the Strange: 13 years old. Able to leap tall buildings, probably, if she felt like it. More likely to be napping with her four black cats; or cobbling together a particle accelerator out of lint, lentils, and safety pins; or rocking out on drums/ guitar/ saxophone/ zither; or painting a swirling feral sewer mural; or forcing someone to say "swirling feral sewer mural" 13 times fast.... and pointing and laughing.
-
-
Grrrrrrrrrraaattrt!!!
- By Vkatz76 on 05-20-23
By: Rob Reger
-
Liar, Liar
- The Theory, Practice and Destructive Properties of Deception
- By: Gary Paulsen
- Narrated by: Joshua Swanson
- Length: 2 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Kevin has a big talent. Some might call it compulsive lying. He calls it common sense. Kev doesn’t mean to cause trouble by lying all the time; he’s just trying to make everything easier for everyone (and himself). And, of course, a few harmless, um, falsehoods are crucial to his plan to convince Tina that he’s the perfect boyfriend for her. In Gary Paulsen’s irresistible and chaotic comedy, Kevin’s lies spiral out of control until he’s faced with the need to do the unthinkable: tell the truth.
-
-
Mindless entertainment
- By Melody on 01-21-15
By: Gary Paulsen
Related to this topic
-
Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made
- Timmy Failure, Book 1
- By: Stephan Pastis
- Narrated by: Jared Goldsmith
- Length: 2 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The New York Times best selling cartoonist behind the nationally acclaimed comic strip Pearls Before Swine, Stephan Pastis has won raves for Timmy Failure, the hilarious first book in a new series for young listeners. With the help of a polar bear named Total, Timmy Failure hopes to strike it rich by running the best detective agency around. The only problem is that our supremely confident hero is often more bumbling than brainy.
-
-
Good
- By Linton A Harrington on 05-14-16
By: Stephan Pastis
-
Liar, Liar
- The Theory, Practice and Destructive Properties of Deception
- By: Gary Paulsen
- Narrated by: Joshua Swanson
- Length: 2 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Kevin has a big talent. Some might call it compulsive lying. He calls it common sense. Kev doesn’t mean to cause trouble by lying all the time; he’s just trying to make everything easier for everyone (and himself). And, of course, a few harmless, um, falsehoods are crucial to his plan to convince Tina that he’s the perfect boyfriend for her. In Gary Paulsen’s irresistible and chaotic comedy, Kevin’s lies spiral out of control until he’s faced with the need to do the unthinkable: tell the truth.
-
-
Mindless entertainment
- By Melody on 01-21-15
By: Gary Paulsen
-
Swindle
- By: Gordon Korman
- Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross
- Length: 4 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Popular author Gordon Korman has sold millions of copies of his irreverant books for young readers. In this fast-paced caper, 11-year-old Griffin Bing finds something far more profitable than cobwebs during a haunted house sleepover - a rare Babe Ruth baseball card. But when a swindler scams the card from Griffin for only $125, the resourceful sixth grader and his friends plot their revenge.
-
-
No at all what I expected
- By Lynn on 01-11-12
By: Gordon Korman
-
Mr. Lemoncello's Library: Books 1-3
- Mr. Lemoncello's Library
- By: Chris Grabenstein
- Narrated by: Jesse Bernstein, Chris Grabenstein
- Length: 19 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Discover what James Patterson calls “the coolest library in the world” in the New York Times bestselling, award-winning Mr. Lemoncello’s Library series!
-
Guys Read: Funny Business
- By: Jon Scieszka, Adam Rex, Christopher Curtis, and others
- Narrated by: Michael Boatman, Kate DiCamillo, John Keating, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Funny Business is based around the theme of - what else? - humor, and if you’re familiar with Jon and the Guys Read Library, you already know what you’re in store for: 10 hilarious stories from some of the funniest writers around. Before you’re through, you’ll meet a teenage mummy; a kid desperate to take a dip in the world’s largest pool of chocolate milk; a homicidal turkey; parents who hand over their son’s room to a biker; and more.
-
-
Awesome super funny
- By sacha on 10-03-16
By: Jon Scieszka, and others
-
Emily the Strange
- The Lost Days
- By: Rob Reger
- Narrated by: Angela Goethals
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Emily the Strange: 13 years old. Able to leap tall buildings, probably, if she felt like it. More likely to be napping with her four black cats; or cobbling together a particle accelerator out of lint, lentils, and safety pins; or rocking out on drums/ guitar/ saxophone/ zither; or painting a swirling feral sewer mural; or forcing someone to say "swirling feral sewer mural" 13 times fast.... and pointing and laughing.
-
-
Grrrrrrrrrraaattrt!!!
- By Vkatz76 on 05-20-23
By: Rob Reger
-
Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made
- Timmy Failure, Book 1
- By: Stephan Pastis
- Narrated by: Jared Goldsmith
- Length: 2 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The New York Times best selling cartoonist behind the nationally acclaimed comic strip Pearls Before Swine, Stephan Pastis has won raves for Timmy Failure, the hilarious first book in a new series for young listeners. With the help of a polar bear named Total, Timmy Failure hopes to strike it rich by running the best detective agency around. The only problem is that our supremely confident hero is often more bumbling than brainy.
-
-
Good
- By Linton A Harrington on 05-14-16
By: Stephan Pastis
-
Liar, Liar
- The Theory, Practice and Destructive Properties of Deception
- By: Gary Paulsen
- Narrated by: Joshua Swanson
- Length: 2 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Kevin has a big talent. Some might call it compulsive lying. He calls it common sense. Kev doesn’t mean to cause trouble by lying all the time; he’s just trying to make everything easier for everyone (and himself). And, of course, a few harmless, um, falsehoods are crucial to his plan to convince Tina that he’s the perfect boyfriend for her. In Gary Paulsen’s irresistible and chaotic comedy, Kevin’s lies spiral out of control until he’s faced with the need to do the unthinkable: tell the truth.
-
-
Mindless entertainment
- By Melody on 01-21-15
By: Gary Paulsen
-
Swindle
- By: Gordon Korman
- Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross
- Length: 4 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Popular author Gordon Korman has sold millions of copies of his irreverant books for young readers. In this fast-paced caper, 11-year-old Griffin Bing finds something far more profitable than cobwebs during a haunted house sleepover - a rare Babe Ruth baseball card. But when a swindler scams the card from Griffin for only $125, the resourceful sixth grader and his friends plot their revenge.
-
-
No at all what I expected
- By Lynn on 01-11-12
By: Gordon Korman
-
Mr. Lemoncello's Library: Books 1-3
- Mr. Lemoncello's Library
- By: Chris Grabenstein
- Narrated by: Jesse Bernstein, Chris Grabenstein
- Length: 19 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Discover what James Patterson calls “the coolest library in the world” in the New York Times bestselling, award-winning Mr. Lemoncello’s Library series!
-
Guys Read: Funny Business
- By: Jon Scieszka, Adam Rex, Christopher Curtis, and others
- Narrated by: Michael Boatman, Kate DiCamillo, John Keating, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Funny Business is based around the theme of - what else? - humor, and if you’re familiar with Jon and the Guys Read Library, you already know what you’re in store for: 10 hilarious stories from some of the funniest writers around. Before you’re through, you’ll meet a teenage mummy; a kid desperate to take a dip in the world’s largest pool of chocolate milk; a homicidal turkey; parents who hand over their son’s room to a biker; and more.
-
-
Awesome super funny
- By sacha on 10-03-16
By: Jon Scieszka, and others
-
Emily the Strange
- The Lost Days
- By: Rob Reger
- Narrated by: Angela Goethals
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Emily the Strange: 13 years old. Able to leap tall buildings, probably, if she felt like it. More likely to be napping with her four black cats; or cobbling together a particle accelerator out of lint, lentils, and safety pins; or rocking out on drums/ guitar/ saxophone/ zither; or painting a swirling feral sewer mural; or forcing someone to say "swirling feral sewer mural" 13 times fast.... and pointing and laughing.
-
-
Grrrrrrrrrraaattrt!!!
- By Vkatz76 on 05-20-23
By: Rob Reger
-
The Candymakers
- By: Wendy Mass
- Narrated by: Mark Turetsky
- Length: 11 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
ALA Schneider Family Book Award-winning author Wendy Mass offers this tasty treat of a tale sure to appeal to any listener’s sweet tooth. The Candymakers follows 12-year-olds Logan, Philip, Daisy, and Miles as each tries to invent a candy even better than the Oozing Crunchorama. But with these contestants—who can detect chocolate by touch and lift 50 lbs. of taffy as if it weighed no more than a loaf of bread—it’s going to be a close race.
-
-
Candy makers makes new Audible convert.
- By Ladydaytrippin on 12-23-15
By: Wendy Mass
-
There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
- By: Paula Poundstone
- Narrated by: Paula Poundstone
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What do the lives of Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and other historical figures have in common with Paula Poundstone? In the hands of this wryly observant and self-deprecating comedian, the answer is outrageously funny and unexpectedly touching. Poundstone compares her crazy life to theirs, as she holds forth on her children, her career, and the time in her life when it appeared she would lose them both.
-
-
More!
- By Evelyn on 02-11-07
By: Paula Poundstone
-
Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie
- By: David Lubar
- Narrated by: Ryan MacConnell, the Full Cast Family
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From the author of Dunk comes this sparkling new novel that covers a year in the life of high school freshman Scott Hudson, who is sideswiped by the unexpected news that his mother is about to have another baby.
-
-
Pick Me! Pick Me!
- By Misty on 12-10-07
By: David Lubar
-
Tesla's Attic
- The Accelerati Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Neal Shusterman, Eric Elfman
- Narrated by: Vikas Adam
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After their home burns down, fourteen-year-old Nick, his younger brother, and their father move into a ramshackle Victorian house they've inherited. When Nick opens the door to his attic room, he's hit in the head by a toaster. That's just the beginning of his weird experiences with the old junk stored up there. After getting rid of the odd antiques in a garage sale, Nick befriends some local kids - Mitch, Caitlin, and Vincent - and they discover that all of the objects have extraordinary properties.
-
-
Not your typical YA sci-fi story
- By Chrism13 on 02-14-18
By: Neal Shusterman, and others
-
Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life
- By: Wendy Mass
- Narrated by: Andy Paris
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jeremy Fink has big plans for this summer with his best friend Lizzy, a notorious troublemaker (and no, he does not have a secret crush on her). He has everything he needs within a few blocks of his home, so he never has to leave his little neighborhood. And this summer, he officially becomes a teenager.
-
-
A Feel-Good Story That Opens The Heart & The Mind
- By Hector on 07-12-13
By: Wendy Mass
-
Ban This Book
- By: Alan Gratz
- Narrated by: Bahni Turpin
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It all started the day Amy Anne Ollinger tried to check out her favorite book in the whole world, From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, from the school library. That's when Mrs. Jones, the librarian, told her the bad news: her favorite book was banned, all because a classmate's mom thought the book wasn't appropriate for kids to read. Amy Anne decides to fight back by starting a secret banned books library out of her locker.
-
-
LOVED IT!!!
- By Colleen on 12-20-18
By: Alan Gratz
-
Abby Carnelia's One and Only Magical Power
- By: David Pogue
- Narrated by: David Pogue
- Length: 5 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Abby Carnelia is an average sixth grader. She gets along okay with her parents, does pretty well in school, and has an annoying little brother. There’s absolutely nothing remarkable about her at all — that is, until the day when she happens to tug on her earlobes while standing in front of a hard-boiled egg. That’s the day Abby discovers there’s something very, very special about her after all: she has a magical power, and there are some people who will do anything to find out where it came from.
-
-
This was a very great Battle Book. I love it alot.
- By Stefan Mayerschoff on 04-26-15
By: David Pogue
-
Sweet Farts
- Book 1
- By: Raymond Bean
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 1 hr and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Someone has been farting up a storm at school and everyone thinks Keith Emerson is to blame. Unfortunately for Keith, it has earned him the nickname "S.B.D." (silent but deadly). To make matters worse, Keith's dad is a self proclaimed "Fart Machine" who really stinks it up at home. With the science fair quickly approaching, Keith decides he has had enough.
-
-
Funny fart humor
- By Minecraft Guy on 11-17-23
By: Raymond Bean
-
Clementine
- Clementine, Book 1
- By: Sara Pennypacker
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 1 hr and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When her best friend and neighbor Margaret comes to her with a problem, Clementine goes to many lengths to help her friend. This sets off a rollicking adventure-filled week that finds Clementine getting into and out of further trouble, while learning valuable life lessons.
-
-
One credit for a 1.5 hr book!?
- By Nothing really matters on 02-21-16
By: Sara Pennypacker
-
Elliot Allagash
- A Novel
- By: Simon Rich
- Narrated by: Richard Powers
- Length: 6 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Seymour is the least popular student at Glendale, a private school in Manhattan. His new nickname, “Chunk-Style”, is in danger of entering common usage. But then he meets the new transfer student: Elliot Allagash, evil heir of America’s largest fortune. Elliot’s rampant delinquency has already gotten him expelled from dozens of prep schools. But despite his best efforts, he can’t get himself thrown out of Glendale; his father has simply donated too much money. Bitter and bored, Elliot amuses himself by transforming Seymour into the most popular student in the school.
-
-
Great book.
- By Reid Robinson on 01-29-16
By: Simon Rich
-
All Four Stars
- All Four Stars, Book 1
- By: Tara Dairman
- Narrated by: Kathleen McInerney
- Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gladys Gatsby has been cooking gourmet dishes since the age of seven, only her fast-food-loving parents have no idea! Now she's 11, and after a crème brûlée accident (just a small fire), Gladys is cut off from the kitchen (and her allowance). She's devastated, but soon finds just the right opportunity to pay her parents back when she's mistakenly contacted to write a restaurant review for one of the largest newspapers in the world.
-
-
Very cute story with great narrator!!
- By TT Mommy on 06-23-23
By: Tara Dairman
-
Fish in a Tree
- By: Lynda Hunt
- Narrated by: Kathleen McInerney
- Length: 5 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ally has been smart enough to fool a lot of smart people. Every time she lands in a new school, she is able to hide her inability to read by creating clever yet disruptive distractions. She is afraid to ask for help; after all, how can you cure dumb? However, her newest teacher Mr. Daniels sees the bright, creative kid underneath the trouble maker. With his help, Ally learns not to be so hard on herself and that dyslexia is nothing to be ashamed of.
-
-
Great book but...not just dyslexia
- By Jennifer Hurst on 12-31-15
By: Lynda Hunt