Freaky Briefs
75 Short Absurdities
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Narrated by:
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Andy Barker
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By:
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Jeff Strand
About this listen
From the madman who brought you Gleefully Macabre Tales, Dead Clown Barbecue, Everything Has Teeth, and Candy Coated Madness comes Jeff Strand’s latest and most twisted collection: Freaky Briefs.
This time, all of the stories are flash fiction—very short stabs of pitch-black hilarity.
Includes fan favorites like “The Douchebag Who Reneged on the Death Pact,” along with brand-new stories like “A Story For the Dude on the Plane Who Keeps Looking at My Laptop Screen.” Seventy-five tales in all, proving that you can pack of a lot of grisly fun into small packages.
The stories...
- "The Douchebag Who Reneged on the Death Pact"
- "Fresh Fish"
- "Clicking the Heart"
- "The Wrong Dentist"
- "The Skull Within"
- "CraniumVision"
- "Headspin"
- "Oh No! Don’t Eat Me! (A Chocolate Bunny Tale)"
- "Thrill Ride"
- "The First Cannibals"
- "What’s in the Box?"
- "Jock Magnum, Manatee Hunter"
- "Bernie"
- "Beaks"
- "The Guy Who Didn’t Want to Murder Anybody With a Hammer"
- "Bummer Tarot Reading"
- "Pull My Finger"
- "Crazy’s Ralph’s Used Car Emporium"
- "Home With a Future"
- "The Tell Tale Heart II: Aftermath"
- "A Story I’m Writing While Being Devoured by a Lion"
- "Make a Wish"
- "Long Sleeves"
- "Fast Zombies Vs. Slow Zombies"
- "Scrape and Scoop"
- "How’s My Driving?"
- "Granny’s Got an Ice Pick"
- "A Story for the Dude on the Plane Who Keeps Looking at My Laptop Screen"
- "And There Was a Metal Hook"
- "Box of Chocolates"
- "The Frostbite Movie"
- "Breakthrough"
- "Ten Little Babies"
- "Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts"
- "The Night I Realized Halfway To The Pavement Below That I Was Not, In Fact, Superman"
- "Helen Gets Permanently Traumatized"
- "A Real Haunting"
- "Vegan Training"
- "Guillotine"
- "Sherlock Holmes and the Murders at Camp Crystal Lake"
- "Chick"
- "Quicksand"
- "It’s Drabble Time!"
- "The Most Entertaining Man in the Elevator"
- "Wrongful Death Payday"
- "Jigsaw Puzzle"
- "The Satisfying Crunch of Bones Beneath My Feet"
- "Laundry Day"
- "All The Cheese In The World"
- "Not Enough Coins"
- "Impressionable"
- "Below Deck"
- "The Cat Who Was Super Smart For A Cat But Pretty Dumb By Human Standards"
- "The Blind Men And The Elephant: A Parable"
- "Bradley Goes Crunch"
- "Dusted"
- "Intervention"
- "Telemedicine"
- "The Soupville Stabber Practices Social Distancing"
- "Bunny Ears"
- "The Tragic Tale of Slappy McWankerville"
- "Abner Wederman, Ribald Ostrich"
- "Last One In"
- "Too Meta 2 Live"
- "Steps"
- "Santa Claus Kills 2020"
- "Yak Attack"
- "Job Reference"
- "The Man Without Nails"
- "Comeback"
- "The Last Egg"
- "Six Cents a Word"
- "Encore"
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-
Story
A searing confessional infused with the darkest humor, Permanent Midnight chronicles the opiated abyss of a Hollywood screenwriter and his formidable climb into sobriety. Made into a major motion picture starring Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, Permanent Midnight is revered by critics and an ever-growing cult of devoted fans as one of the most compelling contemporary memoirs.
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Point deduction for the recording
- By Amazon Customer on 11-21-20
By: Jerry Stahl, and others
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People Kill People
- By: Ellen Hopkins
- Narrated by: Vikas Adam
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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People kill people. Guns just make it easier. A gun is sold in the classifieds after killing a spouse, bought by a teenager for needed protection. But which was it? Each has the incentive to pick up a gun, to fire it. Was it Rand or Cami, married teenagers with a young son? Was it Silas or Ashlyn, members of a white supremacist youth organization? Daniel, who fears retaliation because of his race, who possessively clings to Grace, the love of his life? Or Noelle, who lost everything after a devastating accident, and has sunk quietly into depression?
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Ellen You've done it again!
- By Gillian Francoeur on 06-12-20
By: Ellen Hopkins
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The Pilo Family Circus
- By: Will Elliott
- Narrated by: Mark Stephens
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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"You have two days to pass your audition. You better pass it, feller. You’re joining the circus. Ain’t that the best news you ever got?" Delivered by a trio of psychotic clowns, this ultimatum plunges Jamie into the horrific alternate universe that is the centuries-old Pilo Family Circus, a borderline world between Hell and Earth from which humankind’s greatest tragedies have been perpetrated. Yet in this place - peopled by the gruesome, grotesque, and monstrous - where violence and savagery are the norm, Jamie finds that his worst enemy is himself.
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Entertaining but unremarkable bit of the lmacabre
- By David on 05-31-14
By: Will Elliott
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Is This Anything?
- By: Jerry Seinfeld
- Narrated by: Jerry Seinfeld
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Since his first performance at the legendary New York nightclub “Catch a Rising Star” as a 21-year-old college student in fall of 1975, Jerry Seinfeld has written his own material and saved everything. “Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas, the big yellow legal pad, I kept it in one of those old school accordion folders,” Seinfeld writes. “So I have everything I thought was worth saving from 45 years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.”
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Joke, joke, joke. Boring, boring, boring.
- By ECMILLER on 10-11-20
By: Jerry Seinfeld
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Where I End and You Begin
- By: Preston Norton
- Narrated by: Michael Crouch
- Length: 13 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Ezra Slevin is an anxious, neurotic insomniac who spends his nights questioning his place in the universe and his days obsessing over Imogen, a nerdy girl with gigantic eyebrows and a heart of gold. For weeks, Ezra has been working up the courage to invite Imogen to prom. The only problem is Imogen's protective best friend, Wynonna Jones. Wynonna has blue hair, jams to 80s rock, and has made a career out of tormenting Ezra for as long as he can remember. Then, on the night of a total solar eclipse, something strange happens to Ezra and Wynonna - and they wake up in each other's bodies.
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Just soooooo good!
- By Tamra L. Torero-linares on 06-21-19
By: Preston Norton
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The Lost Causes of Bleak Creek
- By: Rhett McLaughlin, Link Neal
- Narrated by: Vikas Adam
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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At first, high school freshmen Rex McClendon and Leif Nelson believe what they’ve been told - that local students’ strange demises at Whitewood, a local reformatory, were all tragic accidents. But when the shoot for their low-budget horror masterpiece, PolterDog, goes horribly awry - and their best friend, Alicia Boykins, is sent to Whitewood - Rex and Leif are forced to question everything they know about their unassuming hometown and its cherished school for delinquents.
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Does it hold up beyond the R&L fandom?
- By BrettM on 12-01-19
By: Rhett McLaughlin, and others
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Breaking News: Avery Shaw Mystery Books 1-3
- By: Amanda M. Lee
- Narrated by: Angel Clark
- Length: 19 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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As a reporter for a Southeastern Michigan newspaper, Avery finds herself in trouble at every turn. She has a list of enemies - and she's not afraid to cross them. Follow her as she crosses paths with her former boyfriend, a hot new love interest, and a family that cannot be contained - even by the law.
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Wow where do I begin
- By Kindle Customer on 10-24-15
By: Amanda M. Lee
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The Accidental Werewolf
- Accidentally Friends, Book 1
- By: Dakota Cassidy
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell
- Length: 10 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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When Marty Andrews gets bitten by a mangy mutt while walking her teacup poodle, her blond hair darkens, the hair on her legs starts growing at an alarming rate, and her mood swings put her dream job as a sales rep for Bobbie-Sue Cosmetics in serious jeopardy. Then a drool-worthy man shows up at her door claiming that he accidentally bit Marty. And since he's a werewolf, she is now, too. Thinking Keegan Flaherty is clearly insane, Marty refuses to believe a word until a kidnapping makes her realize there's more at stake than just her highlights.
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Too much sex
- By CrunchySocks on 03-17-15
By: Dakota Cassidy
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Witch Slapped
- Witchless in Seattle, Book 1
- By: Dakota Cassidy
- Narrated by: Hollie Jackson
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Hello. My name is Stevie Cartwright, and I've been witchless for 30 days. If only there was a support group for down-on-their-luck ex-witches who've had their powers slapped right out of them (literally). Just as I was licking my wounds after returning to my hometown of Ebenezer Falls, Washington, and navigating my suddenly nonmagical existence with the help of my familiar, Belfry, things got sticky. Enter an ex-spy and newly departed spirit named Winterbottom, who's infiltrated my life with his sexy British accent and a couple of requests....
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Enjoyed this cozy tremendously!
- By janet on 08-05-16
By: Dakota Cassidy
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Deja Who
- By: MaryJanice Davidson
- Narrated by: Nancy Wu
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Leah Nazir is an Insighter. Reincarnation is her business. But while her clients' pasts are a mess, Leah's is nothing short of tragedy. She's been murdered. A lot. If left to that bitch destiny, it'll happen again. Leah wants to know who's been following her through time - and who's been stalking her in the present.
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Love the author, but not the book
- By Rhonda on 11-14-16
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Everything Is Awful
- And Other Observations
- By: Matt Bellassai
- Narrated by: Matt Bellassai
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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From the break-out star of BuzzFeed and the People's Choice Award-winning comedian comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful moments from his life so far, the humiliations of being an adult, and other little indignities. Matt Bellassai has no idea what he's doing. Well, to be fair, he did become semi-Internet famous by getting drunk at work, making him a socially-acceptable - nay - professional alcoholic. He's got some things figured out. But the rest is all just a terrible, disgusting mess.
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Best Audio Book I’ve heard ever.
- By M on 11-23-17
By: Matt Bellassai
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Final Cuts
- New Tales of Hollywood Horror and Other Spectacles
- By: Ellen Datlow
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 15 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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From the secret reels of a notoriously cursed cinematic masterpiece to the debauched livestreams of modern movie junkies who will do anything for clicks, Final Cuts brings together new and terrifying stories inspired by the many screens we can't peel our eyes away from. Inspired by the rich golden age of the film and television industries as well as the new media present, this new anthology reveals what evils hide behind the scenes and between the frames of our favorite medium.
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Not Poor, Not Rich
- By Gary & Jay on 08-23-20
By: Ellen Datlow
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Guys Read: Funny Business
- By: Jon Scieszka, Adam Rex, Christopher Curtis, and others
- Narrated by: Michael Boatman, Kate DiCamillo, John Keating, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Funny Business is based around the theme of - what else? - humor, and if you’re familiar with Jon and the Guys Read Library, you already know what you’re in store for: 10 hilarious stories from some of the funniest writers around. Before you’re through, you’ll meet a teenage mummy; a kid desperate to take a dip in the world’s largest pool of chocolate milk; a homicidal turkey; parents who hand over their son’s room to a biker; and more.
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Awesome super funny
- By sacha on 10-03-16
By: Jon Scieszka, and others
What listeners say about Freaky Briefs
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Barbi Calusdian
- 01-25-24
Hilarious
I had read this before and loved it so I decided to listen to it as well. The story about the lion had me laughing so hard, I was crying. Sure, the stories are ridiculous but that’s what makes them funny. If you don’t laugh at this book, you’re broken.
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- BKS
- 01-18-23
Oh MY GAWD!
THESE ARE MORBID AS HELL, FREAKING AWESOME AND HIGHLY ENTERTAINING. I LAUGHED UPROARISLY until I died.
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1 person found this helpful
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- jeliarra
- 02-05-23
Adore Jeff Strand, But...
This is complete rubbish. Not one story is interesting, funny or entertaining. Some stories caused great annoyance with repeating of phrases etc. I lied, one interesting thing and that is the introduction from, Strand. The audio is pretty bad as well, not clear, off pitch, something I don't know how to describe in my sheer annoyance with this book. Narrator Andy Baker is fine, but again sound is off.
Meh, I still adore Jeff Strand and no one can win them all. This horror of a book will NOT prevent me from buying his others to come!
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- kathy pappas
- 03-14-23
Very disappointed
Wow! I was so happy finding this Author , and the book I had listened to before this was fantastic! Story , and performance! A+. !
This book was such a farce ! The stories were NOT good at all and certainly not scary . I'm so angry with myself for actually buying this one ! Wasting a credit would have been bad enough!
The narrator was so annoying too !
Wow , so bad .
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