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Dead Clown Barbecue
- Narrated by: Andy Barker
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
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Publisher's summary
A man who finds a severed nose on a plate on his dining room table. A bell that can summon Satan (maybe). Casual Fridays at work that get out of control. A cheery outlook on the post-apocalyptic landscape. The final thoughts of a doomed skydiver. A girl punished by having to share a bed with her grandmother’s corpse. Revenge via baking a tarantula into a cake. A romance between two carnivorous, genetically enhanced plants. And the lost tale of Fangboy.
These are only a few of the demented stories in Dead Clown Barbecue, a collection of 29 gleefully macabre tales, seven of which were written just for this collection. There’s even a brand-new one about a ventriloquist dummy. Those things creep you out, right?
You’ll laugh. You’ll scream. Okay...you probably won’t actually scream, unless you already had issues before you started listening, but you might cringe and get a little spooked.
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Suffer the Children
- By: Craig Dilouie
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 11 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Suffer the Children presents a terrifying tale of apocalyptic fiction, as listeners are introduced to Herod's Syndrome, a devastating illness that suddenly and swiftly kills all young children across the globe. Soon, they return from the grave, and ask for blood. And with blood, they stop being dead. They continue to remain the children they once were, but only for a short time, as they need more blood to live. The average human body holds 10 pints of blood, so the inevitable question for parents everywhere becomes: How far would you go to bring your child back?
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Brilliant, Well Done!!!!!
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 12-08-16
By: Craig Dilouie
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The Lesser Dead
- By: Christopher Buehlman
- Narrated by: Christopher Buehlman
- Length: 9 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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New York City in 1978 is a dirty, dangerous place to live - and die. Joey Peacock knows this as well as anybody - he has spent the last forty years as an adolescent vampire, perfecting the routine he now enjoys: womanizing in punk clubs and discotheques, feeding by night, and sleeping by day with others of his kind in the macabre labyrinth under the city's sidewalks.
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NICE GUYS NEARLY ALWAYS FINISH LAST
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 05-27-17
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Sleep with the Lights On
- By: Maggie Shayne
- Narrated by: Janet Darling
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Rachel de Luca has found incredible success writing self-help books. But her own blindness and the fact that her troubled brother has gone missing have convinced her that positive thinking is nothing but bull. Her cynicism wavers when a cornea transplant restores her sight. The new eyes seem to give her new life, until they prove too good to be true and she starts seeing terrifying visions of brutal murders-crimes she soon learns are all too real.
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Original, well written
- By Gretchen on 09-30-13
By: Maggie Shayne
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Hellhole
- By: Gina Damico
- Narrated by: Macleod Andrews
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
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There was a time when geeky, squeaky-clean Max Kilgore would never lie or steal or even think about murder. Then he accidentally unearths a devil, and Max's choices are no longer his own. The big red guy has a penchant for couch surfing and junk food - and you should never underestimate evil on a sugar high.
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What you would expect from Gina Damico
- By Midwestbonsai on 03-03-15
By: Gina Damico
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Fish out of Water
- By: Amy Lane
- Narrated by: Greg Tremblay
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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PI Jackson Rivers grew up on the mean streets of Del Paso Heights and he doesn't trust cops, even though he was one. When the man he thinks of as his brother is accused of killing a police officer in an obviously doctored crime, Jackson will move heaven and earth to keep Kaden and his family safe.
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Fish should be scared of water!
- By Tammy M on 02-24-17
By: Amy Lane
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Sandman Slim
- Sandman Slim, Book 1
- By: Richard Kadrey
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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When he was 19, James Stark was considered to be one of the greatest natural magicians, a reputation that got him demon-snatched and sent downtown - to Hell - where he survived as a gladiator, a sideshow freak entertaining Satan's fallen angels. That was 11 years ago. Now, the hitman who goes only by Stark has escaped and is back in L.A. Armed with a fortune-telling coin, a black bone knife, and an infernal key, Stark is determined to destroy the magic circle.
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jack bauer + spawn = sandman slim
- By Mike Naka on 11-03-12
By: Richard Kadrey
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The List
- By: J. A. Konrath
- Narrated by: Benjamin L. Darcie
- Length: 8 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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They are ten strangers with one thing in common: A mysterious tattoo on the bottom of their feet. None of them know how it got there or what it means. One of them is a homicide cop who’s determined to find out. All of them are marked for death - because they’re next on...The List. The explosive thriller from bestselling author J.A. Konrath, The List takes you deep inside a top-secret techno-conspiracy that’s too shocking to comprehend, too insidious to detect, and far too powerful to stop....
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Better than expected
- By Sammie on 07-19-19
By: J. A. Konrath
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KooKooLand
- A Memoir
- By: Gloria Norris
- Narrated by: Gloria Norris
- Length: 14 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Gloria Norris grew up in the projects of Manchester, New Hampshire, with her parents; her sister, Virginia; and her cat, Sylvester. A snapshot might show a happy young family, but only a dummkopf would buy that. Nine-year-old Gloria is gutsy and wisecracking. Her father, Jimmy, all dazzle and danger, is often on the far side of the law and makes his own rules - which everyone else better follow. Gloria's mom, Shirley, tries not to rock the boat, Virginia unwisely defies Jimmy, and Gloria fashions herself into his sidekick - the son he never had.
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this was so awful I could only listen to a little
- By Wyowoman on 09-14-18
By: Gloria Norris
What listeners say about Dead Clown Barbecue
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- FictionFreak
- 08-07-18
BBQ
Dead Clown Barbecue is a crazy collection of disturbing, silly, and horrifying stories, not all at once and not in that order, necessarily. Andy Barker’s narration is surprisingly fitting for Jeff Strand’s writing style. Check it out, won’t you?
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- Tod M. Clark
- 07-15-18
A Collection of Demented Stories
While the stories are twisted and demented, they include humor as well, very dark humor.
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- BKS
- 07-14-18
Gob Stopping
I have always had what I like to call a "British Sense of Humour" (see what I did there spelled Humour like the English do) which is very dry and slightly sarcastic, I suppose the word Ironic fits also. I have listened to many Strand works and find them to be highly sarcastic and immensely enjoyable, this book was no exception. The accent of the narrator was perfect and made the stories even more hilarious.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Shieldslinger
- 07-10-18
Solid collection of scary funny shorts
Jeff Strand delivers exactly what you are expecting from him scary, funny, gross-out short stories.
From clown cannibalism to giant-sized vampires to avoiding zombies via jet ski these run the gamut and will satisfy your craving for weirdly humorous horror.
Well worth your time and money.
Andy Barker is an excellent narrator.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Dan Bugbee
- 08-26-22
If Stephen King and Monty Python had a love child.
This was my first Jeff Strand short story collection. I will certainly be looking for more like it. I absolutely loved the delivery of the prose (credit to the narrator as well) and enjoyed a bumper crop of giggles and guffaws alongside some cringeworthy descriptions. I believe that Mr. Strand may be the "Weird Al" Yankovic of comedy horror. Well done!
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- Jennifer
- 03-22-20
Hilarious
My husband probably thinks I’m loosing it now lol. I always listen to audiobooks while I’m going to sleep while wearing headphones and he woke up looking at me like I had lost my mind which with being under quarantine like everyone else with nothing to do is understandable I suppose. But I found myself laughing out loud in the middle of the night repeatedly while he was trying to sleep I found it hilarious , him not so much. If you like disturbing, extremely funny stories I definitely recommend this one. I was given this audio in exchange for honest and voluntary review.
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- James D. Hatheway
- 09-18-18
Great find!
Wow, really loved this audio book. Jeff is a real hoot. And Andy Barker is the perfect narrator for this type of book. Perfect timing and inflection. Only wish they had "Gleefully macabre tales" on audio. Anyway I was quite entertained by this listen. Perfect combination of humor and horror.Will definitely keep Jeff Strand on my list! Now on to "Wolf hunt" ; )
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- Kindle Customer
- 11-11-18
The love of horror, Jeff Strand, and Andy Barker
This is a perfect storm in book form. It is a mix of my favorite writer, Jeff Strand (who if I was a girl I’d have his baby), a great orator, Andy Barker (no baby, but a kiss on the check), and of course, Audible (we’ll talk later). If you, the reader/listener have money, buy all of Jeff Strad’s books. If your listening Audible, get Andy to read more books.
So get off your plump dupas, and pay these artist more (readers and Audible). Oh and tell Mark Tufo to start writing his own books again. Sean R. your still a great reader, thanks.
GregoryMartin
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- F. Delaney
- 11-14-18
Dont waste your time
This book was garbage could not finish the first story, don't waste your time. I would rather watch paint dry.
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