Getting Even
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Narrated by:
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Woody Allen
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By:
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Woody Allen
About this listen
Woody Allen's early comic fiction was heavily influenced by the zany, pun-ridden humor of S.J. Perelman. And now, for the first time, Woody Allen narrates one of his early collections of short stories, Getting Even. Listen to Woody Allen revenge himself on such significant subjects as death, obesity, organized crime, the invention of the sandwich, and much more.
Getting Even is a collection of seventeen of Allen's magazine pieces, discussing such eclectic topics as the invention of the sandwich, laundry lists, death, obesity, and, of course, rabbis. Here's Woody Allen as psychologist: "...death is an acquired trait."
Historian: "I did not know Hitler was a Nazi. The truth was, for years I thought he worked for the phone company."Philosopher: "I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear."
Woody Allen’s short-story collections Getting Even, Without Feathers, Side Effects, and Mere Anarchy are available separately or together as part of The Woody Allen Collection.
Listen to Without Feathers, Getting Even, Mere Anarchy, and Side Effects - or all four in The Woody Allen Collection.©1978 Woody Allen (P)2010 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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American Psycho
- By: Bret Easton Ellis
- Narrated by: Pablo Schreiber
- Length: 16 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.
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Fanntastic book but maybe not for everyone....
- By So Fain on 03-27-11
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CRAY
- By: Darrell Hammond, Elizabeth Stein
- Narrated by: Darrell Hammond
- Length: 1 hr and 10 mins
- Original Recording
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He is one of the longest-running cast members on Saturday Night Live, an American comedy genius renowned for his spot-on sendups of politicians and celebrities. But off-stage, Darrell Hammond’s life was anything but a joke. In CRAY, a special audio performance captured live onstage at Audible’s Minetta Lane Theatre, Hammond brings to life his acclaimed memoir, God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked: Tales of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem.
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Thanks for sharing
- By Nickisnotgary on 09-06-24
By: Darrell Hammond, and others
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Breakfast of Champions
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: John Malkovich
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Breakfast of Champions (1973) provides frantic, scattershot satire and a collage of Vonnegut's obsessions. His recurring cast of characters and American landscape was perhaps the most controversial of his canon; it was felt by many at the time to be a disappointing successor to Slaughterhouse-Five, which had made Vonnegut's literary reputation.
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Kurt Was Right to Grade This a C
- By Dubi on 01-10-16
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
What listeners say about Getting Even
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- LoveLA
- 07-29-20
Laughed outloud!!!
So entertaining. Loved it!! So funny. There is no one who can compare to his genius!!
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- Cherrymom
- 11-12-11
Genius writer – Terrible Narrator
Since there is only 1 review here I thought I’d chime in. While you’ll find some real pearls in here, Woody’s narrating came across like he just wanted to get it over with. Hurrying through the stories and often blending his words together. It sometimes made it difficult to understand. Plus it sounded like his mouth was getting dry and he could have used some water. Overall though his thought process is quite interesting and he’s clever witty guy.
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- van
- 10-30-23
Awesome
Excellent prose 1971 vintage Woody tickling your funny bone relentlessly, a pleasant vacation from NewYork’s finest, try some, buy some!
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- William
- 01-14-24
Witty Dialogue
Love Woody’s sense of humor. Cute and clever piece but not HILARIOUS. No worries — enjoyed it nevertheless.
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- suzanne
- 01-30-12
nuts
What did you love best about Getting Even?
woody is nuts. he uses words to make your mind swirl.Thats the fun.
Which character – as performed by Woody Allen – was your favorite?
all characters read by woody are funny.
Any additional comments?
great for a good laugh.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Scott
- 08-09-10
Carefully Crafted Absurdity
This is like Monty Python but with frequent references to those who are more well read. These aren't joke books but series of stories with major non sequiturs as the source of humor. The little gags keep coming but don't expect many (or any) full on belly laughs. This is a little amusement for people who those who will pride themselves on "getting" the historical, philosophical, or literary references. Still much of it is just plain silly.
Buy the set it's a MUCH better deal.
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- Christos
- 05-07-12
Woody Allen's movies are (usually) better...
Even though there are excellent paragraphs, overall it was hard to follow and enjoy. Not my type of audiobooks, as it seems.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Stratdx
- 12-13-20
A master
No one else could read this. I first read his autobiography and laughed through the whole thing... well, not the serious stuff, I’m not a monster. But the parts that are intended to be funny are much more than funny. Smart. Thoughtful. Performed by a genius with perfect comedic timing. Thank you, Mr Allen
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- Manish Kataria
- 04-27-16
fantastic
Woody Allen has given an amazing performance here. Specially the chapters about a chess game between two friends (or foes) and about a private detective searching for God had me double up with laughter as I listened to them while driving .
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- Bjørn Borud
- 08-13-12
Excellent
If you could sum up Getting Even in three words, what would they be?
Pretty Damn Funny
Who was your favorite character and why?
Mr. Schmeed
Have you listened to any of Woody Allen’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
I have not listened to any other audio books performed by Woody Allen before, but I would have to say that he does a cracking job in this one.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
Yes, I had an extreme reaction to this book: at one point I laughed so hard that I had tea spurting out of my nose and my monocle popped out. This was followed by a a brief exclamation of "damn" (as I had made a mess of my table cloth) and a rather violent throwing of a napkin to the floor. Fortunately I was able to regain my composure quickly and by the time my butler had arrived to investigate the commotion I was once again calm.
Any additional comments?
If you happen to have a time machine, please go back in time and convince Mr. Allen to produce more works of this kind.
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1 person found this helpful