Harry Plotter and the Chamber of Serpents
A Potter Secret Parody
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Narrated by:
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MJ Ware
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By:
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MJ Ware
About this listen
Austen comes to England knowing that as an American he'll stick out at his new school. But when an errant owl lands him at Hogwarts, he's in for more than he expected.
And as if it’s not hard enough being the only American at Hogwarts, Austen’s sorted into the most despised of all the houses. Then bumbling around the dungeon while trying to find his common room, he unwittingly helps the monster from the Chamber of Serpents. Will he discover the secret of the chamber before he becomes another victim of He-who-must-not-be-named?
©2015 MJ Ware (P)2019 MJ WareListeners also enjoyed...
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
After a botched escape plan from her boarding school, Abigail is stunned to discover the school is actually a cover for an elite spy ring called The Center, along with being training grounds for future spies. Even more shocking? Abigail's mother is a top agent for The Center and she has gone MIA, with valuable information that many people would like to have - at any cost. Along with a former nemesis and charming boy from her grade, Abigail goes through a crash course in Spy Training 101, often with hilarious - and sometimes painful - results.
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Mrs.Smith spy girls for kids
- By Yushu Chen on 02-04-21
By: Beth McMullen
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The Secret Side of Empty
- By: Maria E. Andreu
- Narrated by: Eileen Stevens
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
What's it like to be undocumented? High school senior M.T. knows all too well. With graduation and an uncertain future looming, she must figure out how to grow up in the only country she's ever called home... a country in which she's "illegal". M.T. was born in Argentina and brought to America as a baby without any official papers. And as questions of college, work, and the future arise, M.T. will have to decide what exactly she wants for herself, knowing someone she loves will unavoidably pay the price for it.
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Heavy topics handled well but just fell short 4 me
- By AudioBookHoe on 07-30-17
By: Maria E. Andreu
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Off to Be the Wizard
- Magic 2.0, Book 1
- By: Scott Meyer
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It's a simple story. Boy finds proof that reality is a computer program. Boy uses program to manipulate time and space. Boy gets in trouble. Boy flees back in time to Medieval England to live as a wizard while he tries to think of a way to fix things. Boy gets in more trouble. Oh, and boy meets girl at some point.
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Hang in there
- By Kelly on 03-04-17
By: Scott Meyer
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Tornado Brain
- By: Cat Patrick
- Narrated by: Jorjeana Marie
- Length: 6 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Things never seem to go as easily for 13-year-old Frankie as they do for her sister, Tess. Unlike Tess, Frankie is neurodivergent. In her case, that means she can't stand to be touched, loud noises bother her, she's easily distracted, she hates changes in her routine, and she has to go see a therapist while other kids get to hang out at the beach. It also means Frankie has trouble making friends. She did have one - Colette - but they're not friends anymore. It's complicated. Then, just weeks before the end of seventh grade, Colette unexpectedly shows up at Frankie's door.
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Relatable
- By Megan Kammerer on 10-10-21
By: Cat Patrick
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Anything but Typical
- By: Nora Raleigh Baskin
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 3 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
By acclaimed writer Nora Raleigh Baskin, this is the eye-opening depiction of an autistic boy's daily and lifelong struggles to exist in a "neurotypical" world. The only place sixth grader Jason Blake can be himself is online, where he posts the short stories he writes. It's there that Jason finds Rebecca. Though the two have common ground, Jason can't face the consequences that meeting Rebecca might bring - but if he doesn't meet her, there's no chance to have a real relationship.
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Anything but Typical
- By Katelyn Ward on 03-29-16
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Second String Savior
- From the Tome of Bill Universe (False Icons Series, Book 1)
- By: Rick Gualtieri, R.E. Carr
- Narrated by: Andrea Emmes
- Length: 12 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Imagine going to bed with mousy brown locks and waking up with a headful of supernova scarlet. It's a hot new look for me - literally, because it bursts into flames whenever I'm threatened. My magical makeover is all Gary's fault. I knew there was something off from the moment he transferred to my school. Go figure. He's a wizard with a trust fund and an inferiority complex. Now, thanks to him, I've graduated from high school bullies to supernatural terrors and that's not all. Fate has chosen me to face the legendary vampire destined to destroy the world.
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think Tome of Bill for highschoolers
- By john moglia on 12-04-19
By: Rick Gualtieri, and others
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Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie
- By: David Lubar
- Narrated by: Ryan MacConnell, the Full Cast Family
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
From the author of Dunk comes this sparkling new novel that covers a year in the life of high school freshman Scott Hudson, who is sideswiped by the unexpected news that his mother is about to have another baby.
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Pick Me! Pick Me!
- By Misty on 12-10-07
By: David Lubar
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The Mystery of Black Hollow Lane
- By: Julia Nobel
- Narrated by: Saskia Maarleveld
- Length: 5 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
With a dad who disappeared years ago and a mother who's a bit too busy to parent, Emmy is shipped off to Wellsworth, a prestigious boarding school in England, where she's sure she won't fit in. But then she finds a box of mysterious medallions in the attic of her home - medallions that belonged to her father...who may have gone to Wellsworth.
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The magic never came
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 02-22-23
By: Julia Nobel
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Lock and Key
- Nocturne Academy, Book 1
- By: Evangeline Anderson
- Narrated by: Riley Barrett
- Length: 12 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Since I started school at Nocturne Academy, strange happenings have befallen me. The weird key-shaped necklace I found at a flea market chokes me every time I try to take it off. Also, a tall, blindingly beautiful and bitingly sarcastic Nocturne has the lock that matches it. His name is Griffin Darkheart, and - like this freaking necklace - I can't seem to stay away from him, though he's being Censured for mysterious crimes.
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Great
- By Anonymous User on 09-16-20
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Firespell
- Dark Elite, Book 1
- By: Chloe Neill
- Narrated by: Mary Kane
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
From the author of the Chicagoland Vampires novels, a new series about a boarding school filled with something worse than homework. Lily's parents have sent her to a fancy boarding school in Chicago filled with the ultra-rich. If that wasn't bad enough, she's hearing and seeing bizarre things on St. Sophie's creepy campus. Her roommate, Scout, keeps her sane, but keeps disappearing at night. When one day Lily finds Scout running from real-life monsters, she learns the hard way that Scout is involved in a splinter group of rebel teens.They protect Chicago from demons, vamps, and dark magic users....
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The Narrator OMG
- By Patricia_N_ on 08-20-16
By: Chloe Neill
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The Wednesday Wars
- By: Gary D. Schmidt
- Narrated by: Joel Johnstone
- Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Meet Holling Hoodhood, a seventh-grader at Camillo Junior High who must spend Wednesday afternoons with his teacher, Mrs. Baker, while the rest of the class has religious instruction. Mrs. Baker doesn’t like Holling - he’s sure of it. Why else would she make him read the plays of William Shakespeare outside class? But everyone has bigger things to worry about, like Vietnam.
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A Happy Book
- By David Tousey on 11-01-20
By: Gary D. Schmidt
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Truly Devious
- A Mystery
- By: Maureen Johnson
- Narrated by: Kate Rudd
- Length: 10 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Ellingham Academy is a famous private school in Vermont for the brightest thinkers, inventors, and artists. It was founded by Albert Ellingham, an early 20th century tycoon, who wanted to make a wonderful place full of riddles, twisting pathways, and gardens. "A place", he said, "where learning is a game." Shortly after the school opened, his wife and daughter were kidnapped. The only real clue was a mocking riddle listing methods of murder, signed with the frightening pseudonym "Truly, Devious".
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I enjoyed it, but I’m pissed about the ending
- By Laura on 04-08-19
By: Maureen Johnson
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Guys Read: Funny Business
- By: Jon Scieszka, Adam Rex, Christopher Curtis, and others
- Narrated by: Michael Boatman, Kate DiCamillo, John Keating, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Funny Business is based around the theme of - what else? - humor, and if you’re familiar with Jon and the Guys Read Library, you already know what you’re in store for: 10 hilarious stories from some of the funniest writers around. Before you’re through, you’ll meet a teenage mummy; a kid desperate to take a dip in the world’s largest pool of chocolate milk; a homicidal turkey; parents who hand over their son’s room to a biker; and more.
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Awesome super funny
- By sacha on 10-03-16
By: Jon Scieszka, and others
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The Menagerie
- Menagerie Series, Book 1
- By: Tui T. Sutherland, Kari H. Sutherland
- Narrated by: Em Eldridge
- Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In the small town of Xanadu, Wyoming, lies the Menagerie, a top secret facility filled with unicorns, dragons, phoenixes, and other fairy tale creatures. At least, it was a secret - until six griffin cubs escaped. If Logan and Zoe don't get the cubs back fast, the entire Menagerie will be shut down. The race is on and the resulting adventure is only the beginning of a thrilling series that will leave listeners wanting a magical menagerie of their very own.
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starting to love these two authors
- By Christopher Tersinar on 01-13-21
By: Tui T. Sutherland, and others
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WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY
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Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
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- By: J.K. Rowling, Newt Scamander
- Narrated by: Eddie Redmayne
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An approved textbook at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry since its first publication, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them is an indispensable guide to the magical beasts of the wizarding world. It showcases a menagerie of magical creatures, explained enchantingly by noted magizoologist, Newt Scamander, who you may remember from the film series of the same name.
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whoops
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Dumbledore
- The Life and Lies of Hogwarts's Renowned Headmaster: An Unofficial Exploration
- By: Irvin Khaytman
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Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, is one of the most recognizable and mysterious figures in the Harry Potter series. As an unscrupulous beetle-like journalist once said, he's "a biographer's dream." Is he omniscient or limited? Is he benevolent or malevolent? What really drove him in the last years of an extraordinary life? Dumbledore dives between the lines of the Harry Potter books to create a portrait of the controversial Headmaster. We find Dumbledore's hand in every seeming coincidence and consider the impossible decisions he had to make.
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Interesting and informative, but...
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Barry Trotter and the Unauthorized Parody
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Warning: This isn't the real thing...it's funnier! "Gerber's affectionate, giggle-inducing send-up is one giant step toward restoring the somewhat debased art form known as 'parody,'" says Sean Kelly, former editor of National Lampoon. If you love Harry Potter - or if you have had enough of him! - you've gotta hear this.
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If Zero stars were an option . . .
- By Larry Johnson on 04-14-06
By: Michael Gerber
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- Percy Jackson & the Olympians, Book 1
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Meet Percy Stinkson. He's just a normal kid, trying to have fun and make it through school doing as little homework as possible....until he finds out he's the son of a Greek god! And Percy's father isn't just any Greek god. He's Pooseidon, God of Farts! Percy's life is totally transformed as he travels to Camp Half-Wit, where he's trained to use his special farting powers. He's going to need these powers, because he soon learns it's up to him to save the universe by going on a quest to find Zeus's stolen iPhone! It'll be a dangerous quest, but Percy will have company: Grover, a weird kid who thinks he's a half-goat, and Annabeth, a super-hot girl who unfortunately doesn't want to date Percy. Yet. There'll be loads of action and tons of smelly farts as Percy's quest proceeds to its exciting conclusion: a showdown in the Underworld with Hades himself! The odds might be against Percy, but don't give up hope, because he'll have the ultimate weapon at his disposal: The Lightning Fart! Can a fart really save the universe?
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Garbage so bad
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Harry Potter and History
- Wiley Pop Culture and History, Book 1
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Harry Potter lives in a world that is both magical and historical. Hogwarts pupils ride an old-fashioned steam train to school, notes are taken on parchment with quill pens, and Muggle legends come to life in the form of werewolves, witches, and magical spells. This book is the first to explore the real history in which Harry's world is rooted. Did you know that bezoars and mandrakes were fashionable luxury items for centuries? Find out how Europeans first developed the potions, spells, and charms taught at Hogwarts, from Avada Kedavra to love charms.
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The breathing is unbearable
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WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY
- By Jessi on 09-16-18
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whoops
- By A. Bunnell on 04-19-17
By: J.K. Rowling, and others
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Dumbledore
- The Life and Lies of Hogwarts's Renowned Headmaster: An Unofficial Exploration
- By: Irvin Khaytman
- Narrated by: Richard Trinder
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Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, is one of the most recognizable and mysterious figures in the Harry Potter series. As an unscrupulous beetle-like journalist once said, he's "a biographer's dream." Is he omniscient or limited? Is he benevolent or malevolent? What really drove him in the last years of an extraordinary life? Dumbledore dives between the lines of the Harry Potter books to create a portrait of the controversial Headmaster. We find Dumbledore's hand in every seeming coincidence and consider the impossible decisions he had to make.
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Interesting and informative, but...
- By James Fields on 08-31-23
By: Irvin Khaytman
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- By Larry Johnson on 04-14-06
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Garbage so bad
- By Amandaa on 10-30-18
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The Christmas Pig
- By: J.K. Rowling
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Jack loves his childhood toy Dur Pig. DP has always been there for him, through good and bad. Until one Christmas Eve something terrible happens - DP is lost. But Christmas Eve is a night for miracles and lost causes, a night when all things can come to life...even toys. And Jack’s newest toy - the Christmas Pig (DP’s annoying replacement) - has a daring plan: Together they’ll embark on a magical journey to seek something lost and to save the best friend Jack has ever known....
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More Scary & Violent Than "Heartwarming Adventure"
- By Bookworm on 10-19-21
By: J.K. Rowling
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Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Book 1
- By: J.K. Rowling
- Narrated by: Jim Dale
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Harry Potter has never even heard of Hogwarts when the letters start dropping on the doormat at number four, Privet Drive. Addressed in green ink on yellowish parchment with a purple seal, they are swiftly confiscated by his grisly aunt and uncle. Then, on Harry's eleventh birthday, a great beetle-eyed giant of a man called Rubeus Hagrid bursts in with some astonishing news: Harry Potter is a wizard, and he has a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. An incredible adventure is about to begin!
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A great reading of the wrong book
- By P on 11-24-15
By: J.K. Rowling
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Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (Narrated by Stephen Fry)
- By: J.K. Rowling
- Narrated by: Stephen Fry
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Stephen Fry brings the richness of these magical stories to life in the original British recordings, available for the first time in the United States and Canada. Treat your ears to a performance so rich and captivating you'll imagine yourself in the halls of Hogwarts. Wherever you listen, the unmistakable voice of Stephen Fry is guaranteed to guide you ever more deeply into this magical story and transport you to the heart of the adventure.
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The same great story, but with British flavor
- By t on 04-18-24
By: J.K. Rowling
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The Ickabog
- By: J.K. Rowling
- Narrated by: Stephen Fry
- Length: 7 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The kingdom of Cornucopia was once the happiest in the world. It had plenty of gold, a king with the finest moustache you could possibly imagine, and butchers, bakers, and cheesemongers whose exquisite foods made a person dance with delight when they ate them. Everything was perfect - except for the misty Marshlands to the north, which, according to legend, were home to the monstrous Ickabog. Anyone sensible knew that the Ickabog was just a myth to scare children into behaving. But the funny thing about myths is that sometimes they take on a life of their own.
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Oh, dear...
- By ili pika on 11-11-20
By: J.K. Rowling
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The Winglets Quartet
- The First Four Stories
- By: Tui T. Sutherland
- Narrated by: Shannon McManus
- Length: 4 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Fiercetooth, a NightWing obsessed with what could have - and should have - been. Deathbringer, desperate to prove himself as the next great NightWing assassin. Six-Claws, a loyal SandWing, who will soon find that loyalty comes with a price. Foeslayer the NightWing, a dragon in love turned kidnapper, and Prince Arctic of the IceWings, a runaway turned captive. In these four short stories, dig deeper into the world of Pyrrhia to discover what really happened.
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Backstory
- By Heather Nyki on 10-20-20
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Snape
- The Definitive Analysis of Hogwarts’s Mysterious Potions Master
- By: Lorrie Kim
- Narrated by: Michelle H. Lee
- Length: 13 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Taking an analytical approach to Hogwarts's irascible, protective Potions professor, author Lorrie Kim presents a closer look at how Dumbledore's double agent operates behind the scenes throughout the Harry Potter series. By examining the story from Snape's point of view, this in-depth exploration pierces the defenses of the wizarding world's famed Occlumens, revealing the man for who he truly is: one of pop culture's most memorable heroes.
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Too political
- By Sylvious on 03-16-23
By: Lorrie Kim
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Ratatouille
- By: Disney Press
- Narrated by: Jim Meskimen
- Length: 2 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Remy is a rat who enjoys the finer things in life, and when a happy accident lands him in the kitchen of a Parisian restaurant, he can’t resist helping a hapless cook create culinary masterpieces that have all of Paris waiting in line for a taste.
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My 5 year old loved it!
- By Amber on 07-23-17
By: Disney Press
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Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Book 2
- By: J.K. Rowling
- Narrated by: Jim Dale
- Length: 9 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Harry Potter's summer has included the worst birthday ever, doomy warnings from a house-elf called Dobby, and rescue from the Dursleys by his friend Ron Weasley in a magical flying car! Back at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for his second year, Harry hears strange whispers echo through empty corridors - and then the attacks start. Students are found as though turned to stone... Dobby's sinister predictions seem to be coming true.
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Jim Dale is wonderful!
- By ladigolfer on 12-31-15
By: J.K. Rowling
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Fablehaven, Book 1
- By: Brandon Mull
- Narrated by: E. B. Stevens
- Length: 9 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For centuries, mystical creatures of all description were gathered to a hidden refuge called Fablehaven to prevent their extinction. The sanctuary survives today as one of the last strongholds of true magic in a cynical world. Enchanting? Absolutely. Exciting? You bet. Safe? Well, actually, quite the opposite... Kendra and her brother Seth have no idea their grandfather is the current caretaker of Fablehaven.
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Fablehaven deserves a better narrator!
- By Meg Barry on 07-31-14
By: Brandon Mull
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Magic Tree House: Books 1 and 2
- Dinosaurs Before Dark, The Knight at Dawn
- By: Mary Pope Osborne
- Narrated by: Mary Pope Osborne
- Length: 1 hr and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In Dinosaurs Before Dark, adventure is waiting to happen! Jack and his younger sister, Annie, stumble upon a tree house filled with books. Where did the tree house come from? How long has it been there? When Jack reads a book about the Cretaceous period, 65 million years ago, and wishes he could really see the pteranodon, it suddenly appears at his window. Magically. Before Jack and Annie can figure out the mystery, the tree house whisks them back to the prehistoric past.
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magic tree house
- By Suzanna on 01-12-05
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Matilda
- By: Roald Dahl
- Narrated by: Kate Winslet
- Length: 4 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Matilda is a sweet, exceptional young girl, but her parents think she's just a nuisance. She expects school to be different but there she has to face Miss Trunchbull, a menacing, kid-hating headmistress. When Matilda is attacked by the Trunchbull she suddenly discovers she has a remarkable power with which to fight back. It'll take a superhuman genius to give Miss Trunchbull what she deserves and Matilda may be just the one to do it!
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Another Winner
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 12-21-16
By: Roald Dahl
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Camp Cacophony
- The Mystwick School of Musicraft, Book 0.5
- By: Jessica Khoury
- Narrated by: Suzy Jackson
- Length: 1 hr and 9 mins
- Original Recording
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It’s two months before Amelia’s big audition for the Mystwick School of Musicraft. If she gets in, she will learn to spin music into powerful magic - but her Gran has one last-ditch plan to persuade her out of it: sports camp. A week of softball, sprinting, and sweaty socks isn't exactly Amelia’s idea of a good time - in fact, she's deeply, appallingly unathletic. By the end of day one, she’s puked her guts out in track, gotten a black eye in no-contact flag football, and firmly established herself as the Least Valuable Player at camp.
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Such a fun and enjoyable story, as always
- By Megan Flack on 06-01-21
By: Jessica Khoury
What listeners say about Harry Plotter and the Chamber of Serpents
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- Sonja Heyck-Merlin
- 04-30-22
Ok
It was ok.
It wasn’t as good as real Harry Potter, that’s for curtain! But overall it was fine. I think it was a rip off.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jessica Davis
- 02-08-23
HP 1 3/4
This reminded me so much of Lion King 1 1/2! Definitely not a bad read for not being cannon!
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2 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 11-08-22
good for Harry Potter fans
pretty fun and interesting
enjoyed it very much as a Harry Potter fan
storyline is better than many other stories
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1 person found this helpful
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- Colleen P.
- 01-23-23
Harry Plotter
I love Harry Potter stories,this spin off is great. it's a realistic High School with a bit of every book added. If you don't like to laugh don't listen to the story.
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1 person found this helpful
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- KMK89
- 11-12-21
Fun fan fiction
I really enjoyed. Super cute and fun little story. Creative twist on a longtime favorite. Fun twist on characters and the inspired change of names made me laugh out loud.
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- Anonymous User
- 10-03-21
A better perspective on the events of CoS
In short: shows the Slytherin (and an American students) perspective on Hogwarts and the events of the Chamber of Secrets in a hilarious fashion. Must-listen for every Slytherin but also HP fans of other houses.
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- Elliot Coy
- 07-02-23
It Was Funny
I liked how the author had an explanation for everything in terms of how the story fits into the original books and even filled some holes in the original. Very clever author.
I wish it were longer and he would’ve continued with more books, but I’m grateful for what we got!
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- Nikki
- 06-14-24
Well written
If you’re a potter head and need a little fan fiction look no further! Characters are great and flow well with HP storyline. Love this book
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1 person found this helpful
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- Patrick
- 08-24-23
Silly but die hard fans may appreciate.
If you take it as Canon, it actually fills some plot-holes, ironically enough. Pretty good.
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- Matt Worley
- 10-03-23
One of the best books I’ve heard
This book was so funny, and I loved it so much. I will definitely be suggesting this book to anyone who asks.
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