Hilarious Quotes by Children: Clean Humor That Will Leave You Laughing
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Narrated by:
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Natsumi Bailey
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By:
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James Paul
About this listen
Children have a knack for saying sweet things. They can make your heart melt, just as easily they can make your mouth hit the floor! This book contains things straight from the mouth of children, brutally honest. Recounted from their parents, some of what they say is gross, gets a parent in trouble, or is just plain hilarious!
Far too often, comedy embraces slander, profanity, racism, and sexist jokes. Isn't it time for some wholesome and pure laughs? For this comedy, there is no better comedian than a child! In this collection of 50+ quotes, you will hear stories leading into quotes to get a better grasp of what children REALLY think! In addition, a percentage of each sale will be given to a charity helping children!
©2014-2024 James Boulay (P)2018 James BoulayListeners also enjoyed...
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- Adventures of an Iranian American, at Home and Abroad
- By: Firoozeh Dumas
- Narrated by: Firoozeh Dumas
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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In the best-selling memoir Funny in Farsi, Firoozeh Dumas recounted her adventures growing up Iranian American in Southern California. Now she again mines her rich Persian heritage in Laughing Without an Accent, sharing stories both tender and humorous on being a citizen of the world, on her well-meaning family, and on amusing cultural conundrums, all told with insights into the universality of the human condition. (Hint: It may have to do with brushing and flossing daily.)
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Sigh
- By Sara on 01-29-14
By: Firoozeh Dumas
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My Inappropriate Life
- Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults
- By: Heather McDonald
- Narrated by: Heather McDonald
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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In her hilarious New York Times best seller You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again, Heather McDonald recounted her adventures as an unwilling virgin in Hollywood. Now happily married with three wonderful kids, she shows that life as a grown-up - even a pretend grown-up - has its challenges. Heather’s a working mom with parents who live next door, a sister who keeps asking for one of her still-fertile eggs, and friends who are up to more hijinks than even Heather can handle.
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Irritating
- By TrishS on 04-23-13
By: Heather McDonald
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#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
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IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
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Parenting Your Powerful Child
- Bringing an End to the Everyday Battles
- By: Dr. Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Maurice England
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Don’t let those cherubic faces fool you. Your smart kids have an agenda - and they’re workin’ ya. Powerful kids don’t just happen. They’re created, and their power comes in different packages. Whether loud and temperamental, quiet and sensitive, or stubborn and manipulative, powerful children can make living with them a challenge. But it doesn’t have to be that way. In Parenting Your Powerful Child, New York Times best-selling author Dr. Kevin Leman offers a practical action plan to redirect your child’s power surges into positive traits that will prepare your child for a successful, happy, and productive adult life.
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A MUST read for every parent
- By Elena F. Novak on 11-17-13
By: Dr. Kevin Leman
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First Things First
- The Rules of Being a Warner
- By: Kurt Warner, Brenda Warner, Jennifer Schuchmann - contributor
- Narrated by: Todd Busteed, Rebecca Gallagher, Abigail Seward
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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First Things First is an honest, insightful, and entertaining look at life inside the Warner household. Kurt and Brenda speak candidly about their marriage, the values they are working to instill in their kids, things they've done right, mistakes they've made, the importance of giving back, and the legacy they hope to leave behind.
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A must read!!
- By Amazon Customer on 04-18-18
By: Kurt Warner, and others
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If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother
- By: Julia Sweeney
- Narrated by: Julia Sweeney
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Since her time on Saturday Night Live, where she created the infamous androgynous character "Pat", Julia Sweeney has gone on to establish herself as a witty, captivating performer of one-woman shows, like God Said Ha!, In the Family Way, and Letting Go of God. She gave a TED talk sharing how she explained the birds and the bees to her eight-year-old daughter, Mulan, which ignited an incredible response. Now, when it comes to talking about motherhood, people want to hear what Julia has to say.
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I Love Julia Sweeney
- By Lisa on 04-05-13
By: Julia Sweeney
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Gummi Bears Should Not Be Organic
- And Other Opinions I Can't Back Up with Facts
- By: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Narrated by: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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In this latest mommy audiobook from the popular blogger, author, and TV personality, Stefanie will share her secrets for achieving a balance in motherhood between being protective and caring and downright bats--t crazy. She'll debunk some of the looniest parenting myths and reinforce others; she'll describe how, through as simple a process as good old trial and error, she's learned to pick and choose what works for her and her family, and tune out the rest.
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You’re A Parent Now...Don't Mess It Up
- By Tim on 04-16-15
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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7 Things He'll Never Tell You but You Need to Know
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Kevin Leman wants you to know that men are less complicated than you give them credit for. At the core of men, you'll find a sensitive, emotional being that needs to feel loved, respected and needed. The more you understand and are sensitive to the fears, anxieties, and insecurities that make the men in your life behave the way they do, the stronger your relationships will be.
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Wonderful Book on Relationship
- By Cindy Bourne on 08-14-10
By: Kevin Leman
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Jim and Louella's Homemade Heart-Fix Remedy
- By: Bertice Berry
- Narrated by: Lizan Mitchell
- Length: 5 hrs
- Unabridged
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Blackboard best-selling author Bertice Berry breaks all the rules of romantic comedy with this funny, sexy novel about an older couple rediscovering their passion for living and loving. Jim and Louella's love life has gone a bit chilly after 26 years of marriage. But then Louella's ancestors visit her dreams, and a sexual reawakening quickly follows. Soon after, Jim and Louella realize they can read the thoughts of other people, so they begin a quest to heal the community around them.
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Wonderful, Timely, Inspiring!
- By Penny Meacham on 11-09-20
By: Bertice Berry
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Because I Come from a Crazy Family
- The Making of a Psychiatrist
- By: Edward M. Hallowell
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer
- Length: 13 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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When Edward M. Hallowell was 11, a voice out of nowhere told him he should become a psychiatrist. A mental health professional of the time would have called this psychosis. But young Edward (Ned) took it in stride, despite not quite knowing what "psychiatrist" meant. With a psychotic father, an alcoholic mother, an abusive stepfather, and two so-called learning disabilities of his own, Ned was accustomed to unpredictable behaviour from those around him and to a mind he felt he couldn't always control.
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Love and connection permeates through this book!
- By Steve Steinmetz on 06-29-18
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The Wrong End of the Table
- A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit In
- By: Ayser Salman, Reza Aslan - foreword
- Narrated by: Ayser Salman, Assaf Cohen
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
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Not what I was looking for
- By Amazon Customer on 09-01-22
By: Ayser Salman, and others
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My Lobotomy
- A Memoir
- By: Howard Dully, Charles Fleming
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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"In 1960 I was given a transorbital, or 'ice pick' lobotomy. My stepmother arranged it. My father agreed to it. Dr. Walter Freeman, the father of the American lobotomy, told me he was going to do some 'tests'. It took 10 minutes and cost 200 dollars." Assisted by journalist/novelist Charles Fleming, Howard Dully recounts a family tragedy of Sophoclean proportions.
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Freeman's Folly
- By James Gordon on 10-28-07
By: Howard Dully, and others