I Hate Everyone...Starting With Me
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Narrated by:
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Joan Rivers
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By:
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Joan Rivers
About this listen
“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” (Elizabeth Barrett Browning, 1850)
“How do I hate thee? How much time do you have?” (Joan Rivers, here, about two-ish)
Joan Rivers is a groundbreaking, award-winning, internationally renowned entertainment goddess. She’s also opinionated - especially when it comes to people she hates. Like people who think giving birth is a unique achievement. Or well-adjusted - a.k.a. boring - ex-child stars who don’t even have a decent addiction.
With all of her diverse experiences, it stands to reason that Joan has seen, done, said, and heard a lot of hateful things. Thank god, she took notes.
Here - uncensored and totally uninhibited - she give the best of her worst to First Ladies, closet cases, hypocrites, Hollywood, feminists, and overrated historical figures. And even when letting herself have it, Joan doesn’t hold back in this honest, unabashedly hilarious love letter to the hater in all of us.
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"More punch lines per paragraph than any book I’ve read in years." (The New York Times)
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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Hardly Knew Her
- By: Laura Lippman
- Narrated by: Linda Emond, Francois Battiste
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Each of these ingenious tales is a gem, sometimes poignant, sometimes humorous, always filled with delightfully unanticipated twists and reversals. For people who have yet to listen to Lippman, get ready to experience the spellbinding power of "one of today's most pleasing storytellers" ( San Diego Union-Tribune). As for longtime devotees of her multiple award-winning novels, you'll discover that you hardly know her.
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I Love Laura Lippman
- By Joy on 07-15-11
By: Laura Lippman
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The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club
- True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Introducing Laurie Notaro, the leader of the Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club. Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends - and that's before she even puts on a bra. For the past 10 years, Notaro has been entertaining Phoenix newspaper readers with her wildly amusing autobiographical exploits and unique life experiences.
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Sweet and funny
- By Julia Valentin on 12-19-20
By: Laurie Notaro
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The Death of Cool
- From Teenage Rebellion to the Hangover of Adulthood
- By: Gavin McInnes
- Narrated by: Gavin McInnes
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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This is his story, or, rather, stories - lots of them, and all gut-punchingly hilarious, from that first far reach into a girl's tight jeans to turning forty with a cataclysmic party. In between you’ll hear about acid trips, threesomes, Nazi skinheads, his band Anal Chinook (Inuit for “warm wind”), Martians in northern Canada, throwing pedophiles in jail, dinner with the Clash, what happens when you crash Bill Maher's show wasted, and the true story of Vice magazine.
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if you don't buy this book, the terrorists win
- By Kelsey Gholi on 04-03-17
By: Gavin McInnes
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Everything Is Awful
- And Other Observations
- By: Matt Bellassai
- Narrated by: Matt Bellassai
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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From the break-out star of BuzzFeed and the People's Choice Award-winning comedian comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful moments from his life so far, the humiliations of being an adult, and other little indignities. Matt Bellassai has no idea what he's doing. Well, to be fair, he did become semi-Internet famous by getting drunk at work, making him a socially-acceptable - nay - professional alcoholic. He's got some things figured out. But the rest is all just a terrible, disgusting mess.
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Best Audio Book I’ve heard ever.
- By M on 11-23-17
By: Matt Bellassai
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Is This Anything?
- By: Jerry Seinfeld
- Narrated by: Jerry Seinfeld
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Since his first performance at the legendary New York nightclub “Catch a Rising Star” as a 21-year-old college student in fall of 1975, Jerry Seinfeld has written his own material and saved everything. “Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas, the big yellow legal pad, I kept it in one of those old school accordion folders,” Seinfeld writes. “So I have everything I thought was worth saving from 45 years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.”
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Joke, joke, joke. Boring, boring, boring.
- By ECMILLER on 10-11-20
By: Jerry Seinfeld
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This Might Get a Little Heavy
- A Memoir
- By: Ralphie May, Nils Parker
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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There was a time when Ralphie May was one of the biggest stand-up comedians in the country, both by ticket sales and by tonnage. While some things changed - Ralphie lost half his body weight - others did not: He will be remembered as one of the most successful comics of his time. Completed just months before his untimely passing, in This Might Get a Little Heavy, Ralphie takes listeners on a behind-the-scenes tour of his life and career, one that winds across the country, over obstacles, beyond heartbreak, and through the golden age of stand-up.
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brilliant and tragic
- By Timothy Trujillo on 08-12-18
By: Ralphie May, and others
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You're Making Me Hate You
- A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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New perspective.
- By jeremy on 09-22-15
By: Corey Taylor
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I Like You Just the Way I Am
- Stories About Me and Some Other People
- By: Jenny Mollen
- Narrated by: Jenny Mollen
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved - by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc.
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Hmm...Why am I listening to a bio of Jenny Mollen?
- By Elisabeth W. on 09-16-15
By: Jenny Mollen
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God-Shaped Hole
- A Novel
- By: Tiffanie DeBartolo
- Narrated by: Rachael Warren
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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When Beatrice Trixie Jordan replies to a personal ad, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming, effervescent 30-something free-spirit writer passionately seeking life. He possesses his own turns of phrase and ways of thinking and feeling that dissonantly harmonize with Trixie's off-center vision. As they rollercoaster through the joys and furies of their wrenching romance, they try to come to terms with the hurt brought about by both of their distant fathers who, in different ways, forsook them.
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To see a fortune teller or not to see one...
- By Renee on 08-08-18
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
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Joan Rivers was known all over the world - from the Palace Theater to Buckingham Palace, from the bright lights of Las Vegas to the footlights of Broadway, from the days of talkies to hosting talk shows. But there was only one person who knew Joan intimately, one person who the authorities would call when she got a little out of hand. Her daughter and best friend, Melissa.
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Love Joan and Melissa but the book misses the mark
- By Stittsville Shopper on 05-08-15
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Lies My Mother Told Me
- The World According to Joan
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If you think Joan Rivers said funny, outrageous, and ridiculous things onstage, wait 'til you hear the funny, outrageous, and ridiculous things she said offstage...things that will make you laugh out loud...and keep Melissa in therapy for the foreseeable future. The only thing my mother loved more than making people laugh was lying...or as she'd say, "embellishing." Her motto was: "Why let the truth ruin a good story?" This book contains some of those stories.
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Could not finish this audio book
- By Fla on 05-10-22
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A social commentary, comedy, memoir, and practical, info-packed journey into beauty treatments including plastic surgery, Men Are Stupid... is for every woman who wants to improve herself, giving the average woman a step-by-step guide on how to look and feel gorgeous, delivered with Joan's signature sense of humor.
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Not your usual Joan Rivers book - but still funny!
- By DenSanAZ on 08-29-15
By: Joan Rivers
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Enter Talking
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Love Joan and Melissa but the book misses the mark
- By Stittsville Shopper on 05-08-15
By: Melissa Rivers
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Lies My Mother Told Me
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Could not finish this audio book
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What listeners say about I Hate Everyone...Starting With Me
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Anonymous User
- 09-01-17
INSANE!
So funny. I recommend this book to people who want to just laugh and SET THINGS STRAIGHT with the world.
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- john
- 08-22-12
just easy and fun
Would you listen to I Hate Everyone...Starting With Me again? Why?
totally its just easy listening easy entertainment good laughs, etc
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
very funny lines in it
Any additional comments?
just a nice easy enjoyable listen to get your mind off things
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- Sandy
- 08-13-12
Loved it!
Where does I Hate Everyone...Starting With Me rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
One of my favorites.
What did you like best about this story?
It's not actually a strory... it's Joan Rivers mentioning everything she hates, which is hilarious.
Have you listened to any of Joan Rivers’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
I've seen her on TV, of course, but I'd never listened to her reading an audiobook. I love her accent.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
Absolutely.
Any additional comments?
You don't need to be a fan of Joan's to enjoy the book, but it's important to know that this is by no means a politically correct essay and might offend some people. Also, you would need to be immersed in pop culture and also be familiar with celebrities from past decades to fully appreciate the humor.
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- Donald T. Wardlow
- 12-22-12
It was so perfect until ...
I was ready to write a melting love letter to this book and its author-until I find how much had been left out!
Can we talk here?
Where was the part with the funny nicknames for all our 50 states? Where were some of the other hilarious jokes?
What was there was excellent. I loved it to death. I've loved Joan Rivers since the early '80s when she subbef for Johnny Carson, and appeared on Hollywood Squares. What a hoot.
solid 4 out of 5, should have been 5 but for the missing material.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Thomas Wolf
- 07-03-15
Laugh a minute
She is brilliant. She takes on everything! From Hollywood to herself to babies to death.
Just remember, it's humour. So laugh!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kindle Customer
- 06-20-12
Totally Honest and Brave
Would you listen to I Hate Everyone...Starting With Me again? Why?
It makes me laugh
What was one of the most memorable moments of I Hate Everyone...Starting With Me?
her take down of rich women with everything "whining" about their "sadness"
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5 people found this helpful
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- Blanchard
- 01-21-20
Liked this one
It was nice to hear Joan again now that she has passed away. I like her style of comedy and this was a good one to get. I am happy I bought this.
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- Patrick
- 12-16-19
Joan Rivers Hates Everyone
I bought and read the hard copy years ago and I thought I'd get the audio this time to enjoy hearing Joan read this book.
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- Donna Payne
- 08-16-18
Hilarious book!!!
She was hilarious and it’s so classic Joan Rivers. The jokes are still relevant to today and she definitely gives you her opinion.😂 Loved it!
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- Irene
- 07-08-13
funny!!!
I almost didn't buy it because people were saying it's too negative, but come on! Don't take every word seriously and it's actually very funny in classic Joan Rivers style. And hearing it in her own voice is great!
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