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If I Were You
- Narrated by: Nancy Cartwright
- Length: 2 hrs and 6 mins
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Publisher's summary
Does size matter? Is bigger better? That’s no small question to Tom Little - the circus midget with giant dreams.
Tom may be king of the midgets, but he’s got far grander ambitions - to become the muscleman at the top, the ringmaster. Now, drawing on some dark ancient secrets and mystic texts, he’s about to get his wish....
Assuming another man’s identity, Tom discovers he must also take on his sins, debts, and enemies. He may be living large - but now there are those who want to make him pay for the big man’s sins.
Also includes “The Last Drop”, an astounding tale of a New York bartender who mixes some very magical drinks - to amazing effect.
The circus is coming to town, as the audio version of If I Were You puts you in the center ring of the magic, mystery, and madness.
“Wonderfully entertaining...excellent audio quality, talented performers, great sound effects.” (School Library Journal)
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Story
When Brendan Doyle is flown from America to London to give a lecture on Samuel Taylor Coleridge, little does he expect that he will soon be traveling through time and meeting the poet himself. But Brendan could do without being stranded penniless in the teeming, thieving London of 1810.
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Yesterday… All My Troubles Seemed So Far Away
- By Doug D. Eigsti on 06-21-16
By: Tim Powers
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Bill, the Galactic Hero
- The Planet of the Robot Slaves
- By: Harry Harrison
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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A sequel to the author's Bill, the Galactic Hero, published over 20 years ago, this book is the first of a new series of novels featuring Bill. With two right arms, an artificial foot, and a set of surgically implanted tusks, Bill sets out to find the source of Chinger-controlled metal dragons.
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Not the stainless steel rat
- By Virtual DD on 07-22-15
By: Harry Harrison
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Time Is the Simplest Thing
- By: Clifford Simak
- Narrated by: Matthew Boston
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Space travel has been abandoned in the 22nd century. It is deemed too dangerous, expensive, and inconvenient - and now the all-powerful Fishhook company holds the monopoly on interstellar exploration for commercial gain. Their secret is the use of "parries", human beings with the remarkable telepathic ability to expand their minds throughout the universe.
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An old SciFy story but a good one.
- By Bob Wilson on 01-26-18
By: Clifford Simak
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Perchance to Dream
- Selected Stories
- By: Charles Beaumont
- Narrated by: J. Paul Boehmer, Gabrielle de Cuir, Harlan Ellison, and others
- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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The profoundly original and wildly entertaining short stories of a legendary Twilight Zone writer. It is only natural that Charles Beaumont would make a name for himself crafting scripts for The Twilight Zone - for his was an imagination so limitless it must have emerged from some other dimension. Perchance to Dream contains a selection of Beaumont's finest stories, including five that he later adapted for Twilight Zone episodes.
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- By Ralph Freaster on 06-22-16
By: Charles Beaumont
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Destry Rides Again
- By: Max Brand
- Narrated by: J. P. O'Shaughnessy
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Harry Destry was a rough-and-tumble fighter who never lost a battle. But after six years in jail for a robbery he didn't commit, he comes back a changed man. The townsfolk believe he's beaten. They think all the fight's gone right out of him. And that's exactly what Destry wants them to think....
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Unabridged doesn't mean unedited
- By Chris Haynes on 08-15-13
By: Max Brand
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The Iron Dragon's Daughter
- By: Michael Swanwick
- Narrated by: Eileen Stevens
- Length: 14 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Named a New York Times notable book of 1994, The Iron Dragon's Daughter tells the heartrending story of a changeling child who is kidnapped to a realm of malls and machines and enslaved in a vast, infernal factory. Ultimately, she escapes and attempts to educate herself about this alien world, while being tormented by visions of the life she was denied.
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Inconsistent story and makes for a poor experience
- By Martin Smith on 07-10-15
By: Michael Swanwick
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Inferno
- By: Larry Niven, Jerry Pournelle
- Narrated by: Tom Weiner
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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After being thrown out of the window of his luxury apartment, science-fiction writer Allen Carpentier wakes to find himself at the gates of Hell. Feeling he's landed in a great opportunity for a book, he attempts to follow Dante's road map. Determined to meet Satan himself, Carpentier treks through the nine circles of Hell, led by Benito Mussolini, and encounters countless mental and physical tortures.
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Dante done in the 70's
- By R. Reed on 04-09-09
By: Larry Niven, and others
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The Pilo Family Circus
- By: Will Elliott
- Narrated by: Mark Stephens
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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"You have two days to pass your audition. You better pass it, feller. You’re joining the circus. Ain’t that the best news you ever got?" Delivered by a trio of psychotic clowns, this ultimatum plunges Jamie into the horrific alternate universe that is the centuries-old Pilo Family Circus, a borderline world between Hell and Earth from which humankind’s greatest tragedies have been perpetrated. Yet in this place - peopled by the gruesome, grotesque, and monstrous - where violence and savagery are the norm, Jamie finds that his worst enemy is himself.
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Entertaining but unremarkable bit of the lmacabre
- By David on 05-31-14
By: Will Elliott
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The Strange Affair of Spring Heeled Jack
- Burton & Swinburne, Book 1
- By: Mark Hodder
- Narrated by: Gerard Doyle
- Length: 14 hrs
- Unabridged
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Sir Richard Francis Burton and Algernon Charles Swinburne are sucked into the perilous depths of a moral and ethical vacuum when Lord Palmerston commissions Burton to investigate assaults on young women committed by a weird apparition known as Spring Heeled Jack - and to find out why werewolves are terrorizing London's East End.
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Fun Steampunk but on the outlandish side
- By Robert L. on 02-08-12
By: Mark Hodder
What listeners say about If I Were You
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Floyd
- 12-18-12
A very fun listen
This audiobook really conveys the feel and atmosphere of an old time small circus. You get an inside look at circus life. The book is not actually narrated by Nancy Cartwright. She plays the voice of two of the characters as far as I can tell. The cast is Nancy Cartwright, Lynsey Bartilson, Corey Burton, Bob Caso, R.F. Daley, Jennifer Darling, John Mariano, Jim Meskimen, Phil Proctor and Tait Ruppert.
You get quite a bit more than you expect from this story. It has a great message and is very fun to listen to.
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-26-12
Good read.
What did you love best about If I Were You?
You could hardly tell the
What was one of the most memorable moments of If I Were You?
Tiger, Tiger, heh wont spoil it for you, but their were many.
What about Nancy Cartwright’s performance did you like?
I dare say all of it.
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- hexC0DE
- 10-14-23
Like listening to an old radio show.... Great!
I've listened to over a hundred audio books, and this was the most entertaining performance. Well done!
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