I'm Not a Terrorist, But I've Played One on TV
Memoirs of a Middle Eastern Funny Man
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Narrated by:
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Maz Jobrani
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By:
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Maz Jobrani
About this listen
Maz Jobriani reads his hilarious and moving memoir of growing up Iranian in America and the quest to make it in Hollywood without having to wear a turban, tote a bomb, or get kicked in the face by Chuck Norris.
When he first started out in show business, Maz Jobrani endured suggestions that he spice up his stand-up act by wearing "the outfit", fielded questions about rising gas prices, and got called an F'in Eye-ranian for being involved in the Iran hostage crisis even though he was only eight years old at the time--in fact these things happened so often that he began to wonder: Could I be a terrorist without even knowing it?
Having emigrated with his family to the U.S. during the Iranian Revolution, Maz spent most of his youth desperately trying to fit in with his adopted culture, whether that meant learning to play baseball or religiously watching Dallas with his female relatives. But none of his attempts at assimilation made a difference to casting directors, who auditioned him only for the role of kebab-eating, bomb-toting, extremist psychopath.
In this laugh-out-loud memoir, Maz shares his struggle to build an acting career in post-9/11 Hollywood, from playing a terrorist on 24 to playing a terrorist opposite Chuck Norris to his mother asking, "Vhy you alvays terrorist?!" (Followed by, “Vhy you couldn’t be doctor?!”) But finally, through patience, determination, and only the occasional unequivocal compromising of his principles, he found a path to stardom. And he learned the proper way to die like a bad guy on TV.
©2015 Maz Jobrani (P)2015 Simon and SchusterListeners also enjoyed...
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Incredibly sad....
- By Marie B on 04-12-15
By: Tom Farley, and others
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Stories I Only Tell My Friends
- An Autobiography
- By: Rob Lowe
- Narrated by: Rob Lowe
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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A teen idol at 15, an international icon and founder of the Brat Pack at 20, and one of Hollywood's top stars to this day, Rob Lowe chronicles his experiences. Never mean-spirited or salacious, Lowe delivers unexpected glimpses into his successes, disappointments, relationships, and one-of-a-kind encounters with people who shaped our world over the last 25 years. These stories are as entertaining as they are unforgettable.
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Great Book and Great Story
- By Natalie J. Belle MD on 04-30-11
By: Rob Lowe
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Troublemaker
- Surviving Hollywood and Scientology
- By: Leah Remini
- Narrated by: Leah Remini
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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The outspoken actress, talk show host, and reality television star offers up a no-holds-barred memoir, including an eye-opening insider account of her tumultuous and heart-wrenching 30-year-plus association with the Church of Scientology.
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This book is fascinating and funny! Fantastic!
- By Kim on 11-04-15
By: Leah Remini
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The Improv
- An Oral History of the Comedy Club That Revolutionized Stand-Up
- By: Budd Friedman, Tripp Whetsell, Jay Leno - foreword
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 10 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1963, 30-year-old Friedman - who had recently quit his job as a Boston advertising executive and returned to his hometown of New York to become a theatrical producer - opened a coffee house for Broadway performers called the Improvisation. His goal? Simply to make a living, and if all went according to plan, to also make enough professional contacts to be able to mount his first Broadway show within a year's time. Later shortened to the Improv, its first West 44th Street location was in a seedy section of Manhattan's Hell's Kitchen.
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Shockingly tone deaf
- By JenniferW on 06-28-23
By: Budd Friedman, and others
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Not Afraid of Life
- My Journey So Far
- By: Bristol Palin, Nancy French
- Narrated by: Bristol Palin
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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In this personal memoir, Bristol Palin opens up for the first time ever. She takes listeners behind the scenes, from growing up in Alaska to coming of age amid the media and political frenzy surrounding her mother's political rise; from becoming a single mother while still a teenager to coping as her relationship with the baby's father crumbled publicly. Through all of these ups and downs, Bristol learned how to face her challenges head-on, with courage and grace.
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Forgiveness
- By Dennis on 01-16-16
By: Bristol Palin, and others
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Bare Bones
- I'm Not Lonely If You're Reading This Book
- By: Bobby Bones
- Narrated by: Bobby Bones
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up poor in Mountain Pine, Arkansas, with a young, addicted mom, Bobby Estell fell in love with country music. Abandoned by his father at the age of five, Bobby saw the radio as his way out - a dream that came true in college when he went on air at the Henderson State University campus station broadcasting as Bobby Bones while simultaneously starting The Bobby Bones Show at 105.9 KLAZ.
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A look inside the narcissist life of Bobby Bones.
- By Selena on 05-20-16
By: Bobby Bones
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Crash and Burn
- By: Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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At a high point in his career, Artie Lange performed a sold-out show in Carnegie Hall-and he did it with a pocketful of heroin. In the midst of a deep, self-destructive depression, addicted to heroin, cocaine, and prescription drugs, he lashed out at everyone around him-from his cohosts on The Howard Stern Show to celebrity guests and even his longtime friends. Then came his legendary meltdown on-air, with 6 million people listening, after which Lange pulled himself together enough to go to a buddy's bachelor party in Amsterdam.
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[Narrator Fail] Comic Genius+Depression+Drugs=Mess
- By Hilary on 11-07-13
By: Artie Lange, and others
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You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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They Call Me Supermensch
- A Backstage Pass to the Amazing Worlds of Film, Food, and Rock'n'Roll
- By: Shep Gordon
- Narrated by: Shep Gordon
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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In the course of his legendary career as a manager, an agent, and a producer, Shep Gordon has worked with and befriended some of the biggest names in the entertainment industry, from Alice Cooper to Bette Davis, Raquel Welch to Groucho Marx, Blondie to Jimi Hendrix, Sylvester Stallone to Salvador Dali, Luther Vandross to Teddy Pendergrass. He is also credited with inventing the "celebrity chef" and has worked with Nobu Matsuhisa, Emeril Lagasse, Wolfgang Puck, Roger Vergé, and many others.
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It's like he's never seen the words before
- By Joe F. on 11-01-17
By: Shep Gordon
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Wanna Bet?
- A Degenerate Gambler's Guide to Living on the Edge
- By: Artie Lange
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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The two-time best-selling author, comedian, actor, and radio icon explains the philosophy that has kept his existence boredom-free since the age of 13 - the love of risk. An avid sports better and frequent card player, Lange believes that the true gambler gets high not from winning, but from the chaotic unknown of betting itself. He recounts some of his favorite moments, many of which haven't involved money at all. In this candid and entertaining memoir, he looks back at the times he's wagered the intangible and priceless things in life: his health, his career, and his relationships.
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who needs Artie (to read)
- By B. Wenners on 08-24-18
By: Artie Lange
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The Todd Glass Situation
- A Bunch of Lies about My Personal Life and a Bunch of True Stories about My 30-Year Career in Standup Comedy
- By: Todd Glass, Jonathan Grotenstein
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up in a Philadelphia suburb in the 1970s was an easy life. Well, easy as long as you didn't have dyslexia or ADD, or were a Jew. And once you added gay into the mix, life became more difficult. So Todd Glass decided to hide the gay part, no matter how comic, tragic, or comically tragic the results. Now, Todd has written an open, honest, and hilarious memoir in an effort to help everyone - young and old, gay and straight - breathe a little more freely.
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Worth It
- By Heather on 11-17-14
By: Todd Glass, and others
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How to Be a Man
- (and Other Illusions)
- By: Duff McKagan
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Duff McKagan is one of the most respected survivors in hard rock. In How to Be a Man, he shares the wisdom he gained on the path to superstardom - from his time with Guns N' Roses and Velvet Revolver to getting sober after a life of hard living to achieving his personal American dream of marrying a supermodel, raising a family, and experiencing what it's like to be winked at by Prince.
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Overly dramatic reader.
- By CB on 01-07-17
By: Duff McKagan
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I Only Know Who I Am When I Am Somebody Else
- My Life on the Street, on the Stage, and in the Movies
- By: Danny Aiello, Gil Reavill
- Narrated by: Danny Aiello
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Beloved stage and screen actor Danny Aiello’s big-hearted memoir reveals a man of passion, integrity, and guts - and lays bare one of the most unlikely success stories ever told. Danny Aiello admits that he backed into his acting career by mistake. That’s easy to see when you begin at the beginning: Raised by his loving and fiercely resilient mother in the tenements of Manhattan and the South Bronx, and forever haunted by the death of his infant brother, Danny struggled early on to define who he was and who he could be.
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I want to give Danny Aiello a big hug.
- By Mari K. on 01-22-15
By: Danny Aiello, and others
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The Filthy Truth
- By: Andrew Dice Clay, David Ritz
- Narrated by: Bruce Rubenstein
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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In this unapologetic and uncensored autobiography, Andrew Dice Clay is ready to set the record straight. He was the eighties’ answer to Lenny Bruce, with material that stretched the boundaries of decency and good taste to their breaking point, and in turn became the most vilified stand-up comic of all time.
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The Diceman Returns!
- By Steven D. Sorrell on 03-26-15
By: Andrew Dice Clay, and others
What listeners say about I'm Not a Terrorist, But I've Played One on TV
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- faten
- 07-02-16
amazing and funny
The book made me laugh and it changed my perspective the best thing is that I am in a stand up comedy show while I am hearing the book
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- Jae Williams
- 07-12-15
Not as funny as I had hoped.
What did you like best about I'm Not a Terrorist, But I've Played One on TV? What did you like least?
Hearing his family story
What was most disappointing about Maz Jobrani’s story?
That it was not funny like he is in his stand up comedy.
Was I'm Not a Terrorist, But I've Played One on TV worth the listening time?
Not really.
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- Kim
- 09-15-16
I love Maz!
Mr. Jobrani's works should be required reading in every high school. The world would be a better place!
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- antoinette panico
- 03-14-15
listen instead of read
What did you love best about I'm Not a Terrorist, But I've Played One on TV?
Maz is great in reading his memoir --he's very funny
What was the most interesting aspect of this story? The least interesting?
the most interesting is when he talks about his american upbringing with a immigrant flavor--there was nothing not interesting
Have you listened to any of Maz Jobrani’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
this is the only time I've heard him read although I've seen his stand up routine (funny)
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
no, I wanted to listen to it in increments but it was very hard to stop and I ended up practically listening all in one shot
Any additional comments?
although I loved the book I felt Moz didn't really let us into his personal life--he just scratched the surface
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3 people found this helpful
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- James
- 10-22-17
Hilarious & Thought-Provoking All At Once!
I've been a fan of Maz's ever since I saw him on "Friday After Next" as the owner of the "Holey Moley Donut Shop" and was pleased as punch to see that he had not only written but also recorded a book. For the most part, it was funny as hell, but it was quite thought-provoking in others - especially when the topics of ethnicity and religion came up. All in all, it's a great listen and is worth every penny! Definitely got my money's worth!
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- Sharia Walker
- 05-29-15
hilariously amazing book!
I greatly enjoyed hearing every part of this book, comical yet profound insights. I love how Maz is able to tale the roles he play in his life as an Iranian, American, comedian, son, father, Husbund, etc. so humorously. Thanks Maz you made me laugh so hard in very difficult times.
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- Shirin
- 02-18-15
Love it
Very funny and entertaining! I really enjoyed learning about Maz and getting an inside look on the life of a comedian. It's narrated in his voice too so his personality comes through even more. Recommended!
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7 people found this helpful
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- Jonathan
- 03-04-15
Not that funny
Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?
I've heard some of his standup and thought that this would be funny but it wasn't that great. It was his life story that he tried to make sound good, but I didn't laugh too much.
Could you see I'm Not a Terrorist, But I've Played One on TV being made into a movie or a TV series? Who should the stars be?
No
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2 people found this helpful
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- Meme Kord
- 06-05-15
Not a dull moment
Beautifully narrated, insightful, humorous, and touching. I recommend listening to this book to anyone who has an interest in learning more about the middle east through humor.
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- Cathy S.
- 05-19-15
He's not a terrorist -
But he's not a narrator either. His points are valid, we should not judge by ethnicity and we should live by the golden rule. But other than that, the book is sort of blah. I expected more laughs from a comedian. I expected more Hollywood inside stories from an actor. What this is really, is an autobiography of an immigrant child raised as an affluent American, mostly preaching against stereotyping, without much passion. Perhaps it is really there but it was lost in the delivery.
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2 people found this helpful