I'd Like to Play Alone, Please
Essays
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $19.49
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Tom Segura
-
By:
-
Tom Segura
About this listen
From a massively successful stand-up comedian and co-host of chart-topping podcasts “2 Bears 1 Cave” and “Your Mom’s House,” hilarious real-life stories of parenting, celebrity encounters, youthful mistakes, misanthropy, and so much more.
Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra.
In this collection of stories, Tom combines his signature curmudgeonly humor with a revealing look at some of the ridiculous situations that shaped him and the ludicrous characters who always seem to seek him out. The stories feature hilarious anecdotes about Tom's time on the road, including some surreal encounters with celebrities at airports; his unfiltered South American family; the trials and tribulations of parenting young children with bizarrely morbid interests; and, perhaps most memorably, experiences with his dad who, like any good Baby Boomer father, loves to talk about his bowel movements and share graphic Vietnam stories at inappropriate moments. All of this is enough to make anyone want some peace and quiet.
I’D LIKE TO PLAY ALONE, PLEASE will have listeners laughing out loud and nodding in agreement with Segura's message: in a world where everyone is increasingly insane, sometimes you just need to be alone.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2022 Tom Segura (P)2022 Grand Central PublishingListeners also enjoyed...
-
Life of the Party
- Stories of a Perpetual Man-Child
- By: Bert Kreischer
- Narrated by: Bert Kreischer
- Length: 5 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Bert Kreischer doesn't know how to say "no." If he did, he wouldn't have gotten himself mixed up with a group of Russian mobsters on a class trip to Moscow, earning him his nickname: "The Machine." He wouldn't have wrestled with a bear or swum with sharks on national television. He wouldn't have (possibly) smoked PCP with a star of Saturday Night Live. And he wouldn't have been named the Number One Partier in the Nation by Rolling Stone, inspired the movie National Lampoon's Van Wilder, or performed standup to sellout crowds across the country.
-
-
Fart Chrysler
- By Ryan Bonifay on 05-23-17
By: Bert Kreischer
-
Tremendous
- The Life of a Comedy Savage
- By: Joey "Coco" Diaz
- Narrated by: Joey "Coco" Diaz
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Outsider. Misfit. Criminal. Convict. . . . Movie star. Family man. Comedy legend. Joey Diaz has been called every name in the book (and then some). Now, for the first time, he shares the story of his unlikely rise to fame in his own words—with no punches pulled.
-
-
Thank you
- By amanda on 05-04-23
By: Joey "Coco" Diaz
-
Thrilled
- By: Tom Segura
- Narrated by: Tom Segura
- Length: 55 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Comedian Tom Segura is incapable of doing an Asian accent. He can't dazzle you with puppets or an acoustic guitar. What Tom Segura can do is tell jokes. Jokes about black people, Mexican people, homeless people, little people, and, yes, his balls. But he’s light enough, endearing enough and downright wacky enough to tackle these topics without sounding like a fulminating Tea Party candidate or a Ragin' Palin apostle on his delightfully deranged and dippy debut album.
-
-
Touch my camera through the fence
- By Anthony T. on 07-06-22
By: Tom Segura
-
Based on a True Story
- A Memoir
- By: Norm Macdonald
- Narrated by: Norm Macdonald, Tim O'Halloran
- Length: 7 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Norm Macdonald, one of the greatest stand-up comics of all time, was approached to write a celebrity memoir, he flatly refused, calling the genre “one step below instruction manuals.” Norm then promptly took a two-year hiatus from stand-up comedy to live on a farm in northern Canada. When he emerged he had under his arm a manuscript, a genre-smashing book about comedy, tragedy, love, loss, war, and redemption. When asked if this was the celebrity memoir, Norm replied, “Call it anything you damn like.”
-
-
Bizarre, funny ride
- By Michael Chauvin on 09-25-16
By: Norm Macdonald
-
Yearbook
- By: Seth Rogen
- Narrated by: Seth Rogen, full cast
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hi! I’m Seth! I was asked to describe my audiobook, Yearbook for websites and shit like that, so...here it goes!!! Yearbook is a collection of true stories that I desperately hope are just funny at worst, and life-changingly amazing at best. (I understand that it’s likely the former, which is a fancy “book” way of saying “the first one.”) I talk about my grandparents, doing stand-up comedy as a teenager, bar mitzvahs, and Jewish summer camp, and tell way more stories about doing drugs than my mother would like.
-
-
Good until it turned political
- By atk0623 on 05-20-21
By: Seth Rogen
-
Kitchen Confidential
- Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly
- By: Anthony Bourdain
- Narrated by: Anthony Bourdain
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Last summer, The New Yorker published chef Anthony Bourdain's shocking, "Don't Eat Before Reading This." Now, the author uses the same "take-no-prisoners" attitude in his deliciously funny and shockingly delectable audiobook, sure to delight gourmands and philistines alike.
-
-
Kitchen Confidential
- By Holly on 02-20-03
By: Anthony Bourdain
-
Life of the Party
- Stories of a Perpetual Man-Child
- By: Bert Kreischer
- Narrated by: Bert Kreischer
- Length: 5 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Bert Kreischer doesn't know how to say "no." If he did, he wouldn't have gotten himself mixed up with a group of Russian mobsters on a class trip to Moscow, earning him his nickname: "The Machine." He wouldn't have wrestled with a bear or swum with sharks on national television. He wouldn't have (possibly) smoked PCP with a star of Saturday Night Live. And he wouldn't have been named the Number One Partier in the Nation by Rolling Stone, inspired the movie National Lampoon's Van Wilder, or performed standup to sellout crowds across the country.
-
-
Fart Chrysler
- By Ryan Bonifay on 05-23-17
By: Bert Kreischer
-
Tremendous
- The Life of a Comedy Savage
- By: Joey "Coco" Diaz
- Narrated by: Joey "Coco" Diaz
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Outsider. Misfit. Criminal. Convict. . . . Movie star. Family man. Comedy legend. Joey Diaz has been called every name in the book (and then some). Now, for the first time, he shares the story of his unlikely rise to fame in his own words—with no punches pulled.
-
-
Thank you
- By amanda on 05-04-23
By: Joey "Coco" Diaz
-
Thrilled
- By: Tom Segura
- Narrated by: Tom Segura
- Length: 55 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Comedian Tom Segura is incapable of doing an Asian accent. He can't dazzle you with puppets or an acoustic guitar. What Tom Segura can do is tell jokes. Jokes about black people, Mexican people, homeless people, little people, and, yes, his balls. But he’s light enough, endearing enough and downright wacky enough to tackle these topics without sounding like a fulminating Tea Party candidate or a Ragin' Palin apostle on his delightfully deranged and dippy debut album.
-
-
Touch my camera through the fence
- By Anthony T. on 07-06-22
By: Tom Segura
-
Based on a True Story
- A Memoir
- By: Norm Macdonald
- Narrated by: Norm Macdonald, Tim O'Halloran
- Length: 7 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Norm Macdonald, one of the greatest stand-up comics of all time, was approached to write a celebrity memoir, he flatly refused, calling the genre “one step below instruction manuals.” Norm then promptly took a two-year hiatus from stand-up comedy to live on a farm in northern Canada. When he emerged he had under his arm a manuscript, a genre-smashing book about comedy, tragedy, love, loss, war, and redemption. When asked if this was the celebrity memoir, Norm replied, “Call it anything you damn like.”
-
-
Bizarre, funny ride
- By Michael Chauvin on 09-25-16
By: Norm Macdonald
-
Yearbook
- By: Seth Rogen
- Narrated by: Seth Rogen, full cast
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hi! I’m Seth! I was asked to describe my audiobook, Yearbook for websites and shit like that, so...here it goes!!! Yearbook is a collection of true stories that I desperately hope are just funny at worst, and life-changingly amazing at best. (I understand that it’s likely the former, which is a fancy “book” way of saying “the first one.”) I talk about my grandparents, doing stand-up comedy as a teenager, bar mitzvahs, and Jewish summer camp, and tell way more stories about doing drugs than my mother would like.
-
-
Good until it turned political
- By atk0623 on 05-20-21
By: Seth Rogen
-
Kitchen Confidential
- Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly
- By: Anthony Bourdain
- Narrated by: Anthony Bourdain
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Last summer, The New Yorker published chef Anthony Bourdain's shocking, "Don't Eat Before Reading This." Now, the author uses the same "take-no-prisoners" attitude in his deliciously funny and shockingly delectable audiobook, sure to delight gourmands and philistines alike.
-
-
Kitchen Confidential
- By Holly on 02-20-03
By: Anthony Bourdain
-
The Way I Heard It
- By: Mike Rowe
- Narrated by: Mike Rowe
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Emmy-award winning gadfly Mike Rowe presents a ridiculously entertaining, seriously fascinating collection of his favorite episodes from America’s number-one short-form podcast, The Way I Heard It, along with a host of memories, ruminations, and insights. It’s a delightful collection of mysteries. A mosaic. A memoir. A charming, surprising must-have. Mike Rowe’s The Way I Heard It collects 35 fascinating stories “for the curious mind with a short attention span”.
-
-
I could listen to Mike read all day. And I am!
- By Amazon Customer on 10-15-19
By: Mike Rowe
-
Comedy Comedy Comedy Drama
- A Memoir
- By: Bob Odenkirk
- Narrated by: Bob Odenkirk, Steve Rudnick, Leo Benvenuti
- Length: 7 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Bob Odenkirk’s career is inexplicable. And yet he will try like hell to explicate it for you. Charting a “Homeric” decades-long “odyssey” from his origins in the seedy comedy clubs of Chicago to a dramatic career full of award nominations - with a side trip into the action-man world that is baffling to all who know him - it’s almost like there are many Bob Odenkirks! But there is just one and one is plenty. Featuring humorous tangents, wild characters, and Bob’s trademark unflinching drive, Comedy Comedy Comedy Drama is a classic tale told by a determined idiot.
-
-
Not great
- By D. Moore on 04-12-22
By: Bob Odenkirk
-
A Very Punchable Face
- A Memoir
- By: Colin Jost
- Narrated by: Colin Jost
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
If there’s one trait that makes someone well-suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch - metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy - with a face you can’t help but want to punch.
-
-
Amazing
- By Erin E. Kace on 07-27-20
By: Colin Jost
-
Is This Anything?
- By: Jerry Seinfeld
- Narrated by: Jerry Seinfeld
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Since his first performance at the legendary New York nightclub “Catch a Rising Star” as a 21-year-old college student in fall of 1975, Jerry Seinfeld has written his own material and saved everything. “Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas, the big yellow legal pad, I kept it in one of those old school accordion folders,” Seinfeld writes. “So I have everything I thought was worth saving from 45 years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.”
-
-
Joke, joke, joke. Boring, boring, boring.
- By ECMILLER on 10-11-20
By: Jerry Seinfeld
-
Paddle Your Own Canoe
- One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois, to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.
-
-
On the need to acknowledge the role luck plays
- By OpenMindedNotCredulous on 11-17-13
By: Nick Offerman
-
I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
-
-
Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
-
Sure, I'll Join Your Cult
- A Memoir of Mental Illness and the Quest to Belong Anywhere
- By: Maria Bamford
- Narrated by: Maria Bamford
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Maria Bamford is a comedian’s comedian (an outsider among outsiders) and has forever fought to find a place to belong. From struggling with an eating disorder as a child of the 1980s, to navigating a career in the arts (and medical debt and psychiatric institutionalization), she has tried just about every method possible to not only be a part of the world, but to want to be a part of it. In Bamford’s “trademark blend of disarming intimacy and dark whimsy” (Publishers Weekly), Sure, I’ll Join Your Cult brings us on a quest to participate in something.
-
-
Hilarious and sincere
- By B. Bazzell on 09-06-23
By: Maria Bamford
-
Dad Is Fat
- By: Jim Gaffigan
- Narrated by: Jim Gaffigan
- Length: 5 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who’s best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children - everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers’ communication skills ("they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news"), to the eating habits of four-year-olds ("there is no difference between a four-year-old eating a taco and throwing a taco on the floor").
-
-
Good for Gaffigan fans - better for expecting dads
- By Sean on 05-17-13
By: Jim Gaffigan
-
Yes Please
- By: Amy Poehler
- Narrated by: Amy Poehler, Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, and others
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Amy Poehler is hosting a dinner party and you're invited! Welcome to the audiobook edition of Amy Poehler's Yes Please. The guest list is star-studded with vocal appearances from Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, Michael Schur, Patrick Stewart, Kathleen Turner, and even Amy’s parents - Yes Please is the ultimate audiobook extravaganza.
-
-
Listen to this book for sure
- By S.F. on 10-31-14
By: Amy Poehler
-
The Woman in Me
- By: Britney Spears
- Narrated by: Michelle Williams, Britney Spears - introduction
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In June 2021, the whole world was listening as Britney Spears spoke in open court. The impact of sharing her voice—her truth—was undeniable, and it changed the course of her life and the lives of countless others. The Woman in Me reveals for the first time her incredible journey—and the strength at the core of one of the greatest performers in pop music history. Written with remarkable candor and humor, Spears’s groundbreaking book illuminates the enduring power of music and love—and the importance of a woman telling her own story, on her own terms, at last.
-
-
Lack of transparency
- By Lori K on 10-31-23
By: Britney Spears
-
Digging Up Mother
- A Love Story
- By: Johnny Depp - foreword, Doug Stanhope
- Narrated by: Doug Stanhope and Friends
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie.
-
-
Not my thing.
- By J. Harral on 01-27-18
By: Johnny Depp - foreword, and others
-
Bossypants
- By: Tina Fey
- Narrated by: Tina Fey
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Before Liz Lemon, before Weekend Update, before Sarah Palin, Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: A recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: You're no one until someone calls you bossy.
-
-
Tina Fey broke my new SUV
- By Warren on 04-07-11
By: Tina Fey
Featured Article: Best of the Year—The 10 Best Comedies of 2022
Discover memoirs and essay collections, scripted podcasts, and even—in the case of our winner—a documentary series. The protean nature of this list makes sense for comedy, because there’s humor just about everywhere and in everything if you’re looking for it. Sometimes that humor is just plain silliness, but sometimes that humor gets down to the core of what it means to be a person—a way to make sense of the bumps and bruises we get along the way.
Editorial Review
Related to this topic
-
The Todd Glass Situation
- A Bunch of Lies about My Personal Life and a Bunch of True Stories about My 30-Year Career in Standup Comedy
- By: Todd Glass, Jonathan Grotenstein
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Growing up in a Philadelphia suburb in the 1970s was an easy life. Well, easy as long as you didn't have dyslexia or ADD, or were a Jew. And once you added gay into the mix, life became more difficult. So Todd Glass decided to hide the gay part, no matter how comic, tragic, or comically tragic the results. Now, Todd has written an open, honest, and hilarious memoir in an effort to help everyone - young and old, gay and straight - breathe a little more freely.
-
-
Worth It
- By Heather on 11-17-14
By: Todd Glass, and others
-
Loudmouth
- Tales (and Fantasies) of Sports, Sex, and Salvation from Behind the Microphone
- By: Craig Carton
- Narrated by: Craig Carton
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this debut, Carton invites the listener to join him as he recounts tales from his suburban youth, defends his long-held love affair with the New York Jets, reminisces about the shenanigans of some of the highest paid and most celebrated athletes playing today, and reflects on his work as one of radio's craftiest, most hilarious personalities ever to get behind the microphone.
-
-
Fun but too much about early life
- By Anthony A. Ciaccio on 07-13-13
By: Craig Carton
-
This Might Get a Little Heavy
- A Memoir
- By: Ralphie May, Nils Parker
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
There was a time when Ralphie May was one of the biggest stand-up comedians in the country, both by ticket sales and by tonnage. While some things changed - Ralphie lost half his body weight - others did not: He will be remembered as one of the most successful comics of his time. Completed just months before his untimely passing, in This Might Get a Little Heavy, Ralphie takes listeners on a behind-the-scenes tour of his life and career, one that winds across the country, over obstacles, beyond heartbreak, and through the golden age of stand-up.
-
-
brilliant and tragic
- By Timothy Trujillo on 08-12-18
By: Ralphie May, and others
-
Wanna Bet?
- A Degenerate Gambler's Guide to Living on the Edge
- By: Artie Lange
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The two-time best-selling author, comedian, actor, and radio icon explains the philosophy that has kept his existence boredom-free since the age of 13 - the love of risk. An avid sports better and frequent card player, Lange believes that the true gambler gets high not from winning, but from the chaotic unknown of betting itself. He recounts some of his favorite moments, many of which haven't involved money at all. In this candid and entertaining memoir, he looks back at the times he's wagered the intangible and priceless things in life: his health, his career, and his relationships.
-
-
who needs Artie (to read)
- By B. Wenners on 08-24-18
By: Artie Lange
-
Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
-
-
Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
-
Crash and Burn
- By: Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
At a high point in his career, Artie Lange performed a sold-out show in Carnegie Hall-and he did it with a pocketful of heroin. In the midst of a deep, self-destructive depression, addicted to heroin, cocaine, and prescription drugs, he lashed out at everyone around him-from his cohosts on The Howard Stern Show to celebrity guests and even his longtime friends. Then came his legendary meltdown on-air, with 6 million people listening, after which Lange pulled himself together enough to go to a buddy's bachelor party in Amsterdam.
-
-
[Narrator Fail] Comic Genius+Depression+Drugs=Mess
- By Hilary on 11-07-13
By: Artie Lange, and others
-
The Todd Glass Situation
- A Bunch of Lies about My Personal Life and a Bunch of True Stories about My 30-Year Career in Standup Comedy
- By: Todd Glass, Jonathan Grotenstein
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Growing up in a Philadelphia suburb in the 1970s was an easy life. Well, easy as long as you didn't have dyslexia or ADD, or were a Jew. And once you added gay into the mix, life became more difficult. So Todd Glass decided to hide the gay part, no matter how comic, tragic, or comically tragic the results. Now, Todd has written an open, honest, and hilarious memoir in an effort to help everyone - young and old, gay and straight - breathe a little more freely.
-
-
Worth It
- By Heather on 11-17-14
By: Todd Glass, and others
-
Loudmouth
- Tales (and Fantasies) of Sports, Sex, and Salvation from Behind the Microphone
- By: Craig Carton
- Narrated by: Craig Carton
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this debut, Carton invites the listener to join him as he recounts tales from his suburban youth, defends his long-held love affair with the New York Jets, reminisces about the shenanigans of some of the highest paid and most celebrated athletes playing today, and reflects on his work as one of radio's craftiest, most hilarious personalities ever to get behind the microphone.
-
-
Fun but too much about early life
- By Anthony A. Ciaccio on 07-13-13
By: Craig Carton
-
This Might Get a Little Heavy
- A Memoir
- By: Ralphie May, Nils Parker
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
There was a time when Ralphie May was one of the biggest stand-up comedians in the country, both by ticket sales and by tonnage. While some things changed - Ralphie lost half his body weight - others did not: He will be remembered as one of the most successful comics of his time. Completed just months before his untimely passing, in This Might Get a Little Heavy, Ralphie takes listeners on a behind-the-scenes tour of his life and career, one that winds across the country, over obstacles, beyond heartbreak, and through the golden age of stand-up.
-
-
brilliant and tragic
- By Timothy Trujillo on 08-12-18
By: Ralphie May, and others
-
Wanna Bet?
- A Degenerate Gambler's Guide to Living on the Edge
- By: Artie Lange
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The two-time best-selling author, comedian, actor, and radio icon explains the philosophy that has kept his existence boredom-free since the age of 13 - the love of risk. An avid sports better and frequent card player, Lange believes that the true gambler gets high not from winning, but from the chaotic unknown of betting itself. He recounts some of his favorite moments, many of which haven't involved money at all. In this candid and entertaining memoir, he looks back at the times he's wagered the intangible and priceless things in life: his health, his career, and his relationships.
-
-
who needs Artie (to read)
- By B. Wenners on 08-24-18
By: Artie Lange
-
Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
-
-
Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
-
Crash and Burn
- By: Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
At a high point in his career, Artie Lange performed a sold-out show in Carnegie Hall-and he did it with a pocketful of heroin. In the midst of a deep, self-destructive depression, addicted to heroin, cocaine, and prescription drugs, he lashed out at everyone around him-from his cohosts on The Howard Stern Show to celebrity guests and even his longtime friends. Then came his legendary meltdown on-air, with 6 million people listening, after which Lange pulled himself together enough to go to a buddy's bachelor party in Amsterdam.
-
-
[Narrator Fail] Comic Genius+Depression+Drugs=Mess
- By Hilary on 11-07-13
By: Artie Lange, and others
-
You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
-
-
Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
-
Easy for You to Say
- By: John Melendez
- Narrated by: John Melendez
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Easy For You To Say is "Stuttering" John Melendez's memoir of his childhood being bullied in school for his stutter; his years as an on-air personality with The Howard Stern Show; and his subsequent 10-year career as a writer and on-air announcer for Jay Leno's Tonight Show. It details his famously acerbic relationships with celebrities he interviewed/insulted (Raquel Welch once punched him in the face). In the audiobook, Howard Stern emerges as a surprisingly mean, stingy, and megalomaniacal boss - and Jay Leno as a seeming sufferer from OCD.
-
-
Was expecting more
- By Amazon Customer on 10-25-18
By: John Melendez
-
The Chris Farley Show
- A Biography in Three Acts
- By: Tom Farley, Tanner Colby
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer, L. J. Ganser, Mark Boyett
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The New York Times best-selling biography of an American comedy legend. After three years of sobriety, Chris Farley's life was at its creative peak until a string of professional disappointments chased him back to drugs and alcohol. He fought hard against them, but it was a fight he would lose in December 1997. Farley's fans immediately drew parallels between his death and that of his idol, John Belushi. Without looking deeper, however, many failed to see that Farley was much more than just another Hollywood drug overdose. In this officially authorized oral history, Farley's friends and family remember his work and life.
-
-
Incredibly sad....
- By Marie B on 04-12-15
By: Tom Farley, and others
-
Lose Well
- By: Chris Gethard
- Narrated by: Chris Gethard
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Let’s face it: we all want a seat at the cool table, a great job, and loads of money. But most of us won’t be able to achieve this widely accepted, black-or-white, definition of winning, which makes us feel like failures, that we’re destined to a life of loserdom. That’s the conventional wisdom. It’s also crap, according to comedian and cult hero Chris Gethard, who knows a thing of two about losing. Failing is an art form, he argues; in fact, it’s the only the way we’re ever going to discover who we are, what we really want, and how to live the kind of life we only dreamed about.
-
-
WHAT A LOSER
- By Amazon Customer on 01-26-19
By: Chris Gethard
-
Bare Bones
- I'm Not Lonely If You're Reading This Book
- By: Bobby Bones
- Narrated by: Bobby Bones
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Growing up poor in Mountain Pine, Arkansas, with a young, addicted mom, Bobby Estell fell in love with country music. Abandoned by his father at the age of five, Bobby saw the radio as his way out - a dream that came true in college when he went on air at the Henderson State University campus station broadcasting as Bobby Bones while simultaneously starting The Bobby Bones Show at 105.9 KLAZ.
-
-
A look inside the narcissist life of Bobby Bones.
- By Selena on 05-20-16
By: Bobby Bones
-
Dirty Thirty
- By: Asa Akira
- Narrated by: Veronica Worthington
- Length: 5 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As she contemplates turning 30 years old while still being in the adult film trade, Asa Akira, author of the best-seller Insatiable, delves into her past, present, and future, exploring the events that brought her to where she is now and the surprising and insightful plans she has for her future. Internationally known as a porn star, Akira's perceptive, funny, and straightforward writings on love, sex, death, marriage, and celebrity come together in a surprising book of essays.
-
-
this was fun I'm going to buy her other book 2
- By Sir Lawrence on 01-09-19
By: Asa Akira
-
She Memes Well
- By: Quinta Brunson
- Narrated by: Quinta Brunson
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From comedian Quinta Brunson (creator and star of Abbott Elementary) comes a deeply personal and funny collection of essays about trying to make it when you're struggling, the importance of staying true to your roots, and how she's redefined humor online. In her debut essay collection, Quinta applies her trademark humor and heart to discuss what it was like to go from a girl who loved the World Wide Web to a girl whose face launched a thousand memes. This special Audible edition includes never-before-heard details about the making of Abbott Elementary.
-
-
That moment you know you’re a TEACHER…
- By chrissybrown on 09-19-22
By: Quinta Brunson
-
Digging Up Mother
- A Love Story
- By: Johnny Depp - foreword, Doug Stanhope
- Narrated by: Doug Stanhope and Friends
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie.
-
-
Not my thing.
- By J. Harral on 01-27-18
By: Johnny Depp - foreword, and others
-
Stories I Only Tell My Friends
- An Autobiography
- By: Rob Lowe
- Narrated by: Rob Lowe
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A teen idol at 15, an international icon and founder of the Brat Pack at 20, and one of Hollywood's top stars to this day, Rob Lowe chronicles his experiences. Never mean-spirited or salacious, Lowe delivers unexpected glimpses into his successes, disappointments, relationships, and one-of-a-kind encounters with people who shaped our world over the last 25 years. These stories are as entertaining as they are unforgettable.
-
-
Great Book and Great Story
- By Natalie J. Belle MD on 04-30-11
By: Rob Lowe
-
What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker
- A Memoir in Essays
- By: Damon Young
- Narrated by: Damon Young
- Length: 8 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For Damon Young, existing while Black is an extreme sport. The act of possessing Black skin while searching for space to breathe in America is enough to induce a ceaseless state of angst where questions such as “How should I react here, as a professional black person?” and “Will this white person’s potato salad kill me?” are forever relevant. What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Blacker chronicles Young’s efforts to survive while battling and making sense of the various neuroses his country has given him.
-
-
Reviewed by a B![c# @$$ White Boy
- By netusera on 04-13-19
By: Damon Young
-
Has Anyone Seen My Pants?
- By: Sarah Colonna
- Narrated by: Sarah Colonna
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Has Anyone Seen My Pants? is a laugh-out-loud trip around America (and Mexico!) with Sarah as she braves crying in nail salons, mother-daughter road trips, Iowan casinos, and single-shaming resorts. From a fling-gone-wrong to friend breakups and a new romance, Sarah's signature wit and sharp observations take you on a journey at once so deviously funny and surprisingly compassionate that it might just steal your heart - not to mention your pants.
-
-
clearance shelf material
- By lisa martinez on 04-28-15
By: Sarah Colonna
-
How to Be a Man
- (and Other Illusions)
- By: Duff McKagan
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Duff McKagan is one of the most respected survivors in hard rock. In How to Be a Man, he shares the wisdom he gained on the path to superstardom - from his time with Guns N' Roses and Velvet Revolver to getting sober after a life of hard living to achieving his personal American dream of marrying a supermodel, raising a family, and experiencing what it's like to be winked at by Prince.
-
-
Overly dramatic reader.
- By CB on 01-07-17
By: Duff McKagan
What listeners say about I'd Like to Play Alone, Please
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
- Josh
- 06-28-22
Great book.
Tom is hilarious. This book is full of great stories. The fact that he reads it himself makes all the difference.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
3 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Amazon Customer
- 07-20-22
10 out 12 Benadryl
Tom does an amazing job providing the tone and feel for for his stories here. Rarely as listeners do we get to experience an audio book that’s preformed by its author, and even rarer than that is an author that can actually preform well on mic!
An excellent collection of stories, laughs, an insights from the water champion himself.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
3 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- KATE
- 07-13-22
Keep Featherin' it Brother!
T Bunz always delivers 🙌 The Audio book version makes it real. Loved hearing more stories of Top Dog and Charo. Good job Buddy!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
3 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Jeff
- 06-27-22
Tommy Buns Delivers
Tom Segura wrote and recorded a fantastic audiobook. If you listen to YMH, you will feel right at home.
I take away a few things from this audiobook.
1. Tom Segura and co. are masters of recorded audio. The book is produced better than the vast majority.
2. Tom’s story should inspire you. The guy, just like most of us, believed at some point in our lives that we were average or below average. He, unlike most people, took initiative. He did what he wanted. That set of ballsy actions and a little luck has made him an extremely successful comedian.
3. Top Dog is missed and Top Dog was loved in the way only a father can be loved.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Robert
- 06-15-22
I hope John Stankey knows
that his cell service sucks a dead dogs dick in a dusty driveway.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- J S
- 06-16-22
Great
Already a fan of Toms other work so I wasn’t surprised to enjoy listening to his new book. I’m not sure how the experience would be different if I had read it but being told the story by Tom himself definitely makes it better for sure.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Anonymous User
- 06-16-22
Bro. I've never laughed so hard ...
Bravo, Jeans. I've never laughed so hard at a book in any format. This was a fantastic compilation of stories. I've been a mommy for years so many are not new, but you brought them alive again. I'll absolutely listen to this multiple times. DO NOT START AT BEDTIME! YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SLEEP! 👖
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Andrew Truex
- 06-17-22
Doesn't Miss
Tom has been putting out comedy in many different forms for years and has never missed. In fact, it has all overdelivered. This is no exception.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Asa Phillips
- 06-20-22
High and tight, Jeans.
If you enjoy tommy buns in any capacity, this will be well worth your time. He is hilarious as always, and has some of the greatest story telling you will ever experience. His jeans are high, tight, and if you want to move in, move in. Can’t recommend this highly enough.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Lauren
- 06-20-22
Thank you Tommy!
I’m a stay at home mom. You have no idea how badly I needed this to start a summer with a 9 and 11 year old out of school. I’m team jeans for life but this was absolutely amazing! The way he reads the book is sooooo good! So engaging!!! Thank you!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful