
It's Not You
How to Identify and Heal from Narcissistic People
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed

Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $20.33
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Ramani Durvasula
-
By:
-
Ramani Durvasula
About this listen
Brought to you by Penguin.
REDISCOVER WHO YOU ARE AFTER YEARS OF INVALIDATION.
Dealing with a narcissist is hard. One day their confidence and charisma pull you in, the next day they gaslight, wreck your self-confidence, and leave you wondering what you could have done differently. Clinical Psychologist and narcissism expert Dr Ramani is here to help. Drawing on more than 20 years of studying, teaching and helping people navigate the challenging landscape of narcissism, you’ll learn how to:
- Spot the tell-tale signs of a narcissist
- Confront toxic cycles
- Protect your energy
- Create realistic boundaries
- Reclaim and embrace your true self
Packed with expert tips and detailed advice, this book will equip you with the tools to stop blaming yourself, regain your power, heal, and take back your life.
©2024 Ramani Durvasula (P)2024 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
-
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
- Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
- By: Ramani Durvasula PhD
- Narrated by: Ramani Durvasula PhD
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Should I Stay or Should I Go? is a survival manual, a guidebook, and a shot of reality. Some people will never change, and kissing frogs is the stuff of fairy tales, not real life. The Beast never turns out to be a nice guy (or gal). This is a book that breaks down what mean people do to us, how they do it, and what we can do to survive.
-
-
Wake up call !
- By sashy on 08-18-16
-
"Don't You Know Who I Am?": How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility
- By: Ramani S. Durvasula PhD
- Narrated by: Ramani S. Durvasula PhD
- Length: 19 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Health and wellness campaigns preach avoidance of unhealthy foods, sedentary lifestyles, tobacco, drugs, and alcohol, but rarely preach avoidance of unhealthy, difficult, or toxic people. Yet the health benefits of removing toxic people from your life may have far greater benefits to both physical and psychological health. We need to learn to be better gatekeepers for our minds, bodies, and souls. Narcissism, entitlement, and incivility have become the new world order, and we are all in trouble. They are not only normalized but also increasingly incentivized.
-
-
Excellent reality check
- By Lisa Rose on 10-11-19
-
The Narcissist's Playbook
- How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People
- By: Dana Morningstar
- Narrated by: Dana Morningstar
- Length: 7 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Do you have a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath in your life, or think that you might? Do you continually feel anxious around someone in your life, but can’t pinpoint why?...Perhaps you know you are being manipulated or abused, but don’t know how to make it stop. The Narcissist’s Playbook can help. You can take back your life.
-
-
powerful
- By All Dolled Up on 01-17-20
By: Dana Morningstar
-
Out of the Fog
- Moving from Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse
- By: Dana Morningstar
- Narrated by: Dana Morningstar
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The FOG is an acronym that stands for "Fear, Obligation, and Guilt". These three emotions are often how narcissists, sociopaths, and other types of emotional manipulators go about controlling others.
-
-
THE best book I’ve ever read on the subject
- By Alexandria Filipowski on 10-23-19
By: Dana Morningstar
-
Slay the Bully
- How to Negotiate with a Narcissist and Win
- By: Rebecca Zung Esq.
- Narrated by: Rebecca Zung Esq.
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Slay narcissists—the ultimate bullies—in negotiations by following this simple formula—developed by one of the top 1 percent of attorneys in the nation—a proven method to take you from victim to victory, without backlash!
-
-
Finally. A strategy for WINNING.
- By Anonymous on 12-17-23
-
The Fast800 Diet
- Discover the Ideal Fasting Formula to Shed Pounds, Fight Disease, and Boost Your Overall Health
- By: Dr. Michael Mosley
- Narrated by: Dr. Michael Mosley
- Length: 3 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Fast800 Diet pinpoints the ideal fasting calorie count for health and weight loss: 800. Built around a more manageable 800-calorie fasting day - whether that’s 800 calories every day until you achieve your goals, or 800 calories twice a week - Dr. Mosley’s powerful three-phase program is designed to supercharge weight loss and fast-track a healthier life.
-
-
Works! 235lbs to 187lbs in just over 2.5 months!
- By Someone who has bought different sets of these things on 06-17-22
-
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
- Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
- By: Ramani Durvasula PhD
- Narrated by: Ramani Durvasula PhD
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Should I Stay or Should I Go? is a survival manual, a guidebook, and a shot of reality. Some people will never change, and kissing frogs is the stuff of fairy tales, not real life. The Beast never turns out to be a nice guy (or gal). This is a book that breaks down what mean people do to us, how they do it, and what we can do to survive.
-
-
Wake up call !
- By sashy on 08-18-16
-
"Don't You Know Who I Am?": How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility
- By: Ramani S. Durvasula PhD
- Narrated by: Ramani S. Durvasula PhD
- Length: 19 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Health and wellness campaigns preach avoidance of unhealthy foods, sedentary lifestyles, tobacco, drugs, and alcohol, but rarely preach avoidance of unhealthy, difficult, or toxic people. Yet the health benefits of removing toxic people from your life may have far greater benefits to both physical and psychological health. We need to learn to be better gatekeepers for our minds, bodies, and souls. Narcissism, entitlement, and incivility have become the new world order, and we are all in trouble. They are not only normalized but also increasingly incentivized.
-
-
Excellent reality check
- By Lisa Rose on 10-11-19
-
The Narcissist's Playbook
- How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People
- By: Dana Morningstar
- Narrated by: Dana Morningstar
- Length: 7 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Do you have a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath in your life, or think that you might? Do you continually feel anxious around someone in your life, but can’t pinpoint why?...Perhaps you know you are being manipulated or abused, but don’t know how to make it stop. The Narcissist’s Playbook can help. You can take back your life.
-
-
powerful
- By All Dolled Up on 01-17-20
By: Dana Morningstar
-
Out of the Fog
- Moving from Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse
- By: Dana Morningstar
- Narrated by: Dana Morningstar
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The FOG is an acronym that stands for "Fear, Obligation, and Guilt". These three emotions are often how narcissists, sociopaths, and other types of emotional manipulators go about controlling others.
-
-
THE best book I’ve ever read on the subject
- By Alexandria Filipowski on 10-23-19
By: Dana Morningstar
-
Slay the Bully
- How to Negotiate with a Narcissist and Win
- By: Rebecca Zung Esq.
- Narrated by: Rebecca Zung Esq.
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Slay narcissists—the ultimate bullies—in negotiations by following this simple formula—developed by one of the top 1 percent of attorneys in the nation—a proven method to take you from victim to victory, without backlash!
-
-
Finally. A strategy for WINNING.
- By Anonymous on 12-17-23
-
The Fast800 Diet
- Discover the Ideal Fasting Formula to Shed Pounds, Fight Disease, and Boost Your Overall Health
- By: Dr. Michael Mosley
- Narrated by: Dr. Michael Mosley
- Length: 3 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Fast800 Diet pinpoints the ideal fasting calorie count for health and weight loss: 800. Built around a more manageable 800-calorie fasting day - whether that’s 800 calories every day until you achieve your goals, or 800 calories twice a week - Dr. Mosley’s powerful three-phase program is designed to supercharge weight loss and fast-track a healthier life.
-
-
Works! 235lbs to 187lbs in just over 2.5 months!
- By Someone who has bought different sets of these things on 06-17-22
Critic reviews
“A compassionate roadmap and survival guide for people in narcissistic relationships, helping them understand how to heal and thrive during and after these challenging relationships.” - Jay Shetty
Related to this topic
-
The Let Them Theory
- A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking About
- By: Mel Robbins
- Narrated by: Mel Robbins
- Length: 10 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In her latest groundbreaking book, The Let Them Theory, Mel Robbins—New York Times bestselling author and one of the world's most respected experts on motivation, confidence, and mindset—teaches you how to stop wasting energy on what you can't control and start focusing on what truly matters: YOU. Your happiness. Your goals. Your life.
-
-
“…Grant me the serenity…”
- By Rachel Cornell on 12-25-24
By: Mel Robbins
-
The 5 Second Rule
- Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage
- By: Mel Robbins
- Narrated by: Mel Robbins
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
How to enrich your life and destroy doubt in five seconds. Throughout your life, you've had parents, coaches, teachers, friends, and mentors who have pushed you to be better than your excuses and bigger than your fears. What if the secret to having the confidence and courage to enrich your life and work is simply knowing how to push yourself?
-
-
I turned it off after an hour.
- By Zac on 04-08-17
By: Mel Robbins
-
Can't Hurt Me
- Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds
- By: David Goggins
- Narrated by: David Goggins, Adam Skolnick
- Length: 13 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For David Goggins, childhood was a nightmare--poverty, prejudice, and physical abuse colored his days and haunted his nights. But through self-discipline, mental toughness, and hard work, Goggins transformed himself from a depressed, overweight young man with no future into a US Armed Forces icon and one of the world's top endurance athletes. The only man in history to complete elite training as a Navy SEAL, Army Ranger, and Air Force tactical air controller, he went on to set records in numerous endurance events.
-
-
Opting for the book instead
- By S David on 12-24-18
By: David Goggins
-
The Art of War
- By: Sun Tzu
- Narrated by: Aidan Gillen
- Length: 1 hr and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The 13 chapters of The Art of War, each devoted to one aspect of warfare, were compiled by the high-ranking Chinese military general, strategist, and philosopher Sun-Tzu. In spite of its battlefield specificity, The Art of War has found new life in the modern age, with leaders in fields as wide and far-reaching as world politics, human psychology, and corporate strategy finding valuable insight in its timeworn words.
-
-
The actual book The Art of War, not a commentary
- By Nemo71 on 12-31-19
By: Sun Tzu
-
Take Control of Your Life
- How to Silence Fear and Win the Mental Game
- By: Mel Robbins
- Narrated by: Mel Robbins
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Mel Robbins is back! The international bestselling phenomenon and creator of The Five Second Rule and Kick Ass with Mel Robbins returns to help you tackle the single biggest obstacle you face: fear. This life-changing Audible Original features a powerful mix of one-on-one life-coaching sessions and a personal narrative with vital take-aways that you can start using immediately.
-
-
Stop living in fear
- By Nike7 on 02-08-19
By: Mel Robbins
-
You Will Not Recognize Your Life
- By: Micaela Blei
- Narrated by: Micaela Blei
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s 2006. After a string of rejections from men who tell her they could never, ever, ever see her “that way,” awkward third-grade teacher Micaela Blei signs up for a mysterious course called “The Divine Feminine,” and feels like she might have found the key to the perfect life. Turns out if you’re an A student, you can get an A in anything–including men. Pretty soon she’s learning to "conjure" her desires with vision boards, flirtations, and even a daring jumbotron viewing party for her, ahem ... "divine center."
-
-
Humor, Humanity, and the Heart of Self-Love
- By David on 12-12-24
By: Micaela Blei
-
The Let Them Theory
- A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking About
- By: Mel Robbins
- Narrated by: Mel Robbins
- Length: 10 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In her latest groundbreaking book, The Let Them Theory, Mel Robbins—New York Times bestselling author and one of the world's most respected experts on motivation, confidence, and mindset—teaches you how to stop wasting energy on what you can't control and start focusing on what truly matters: YOU. Your happiness. Your goals. Your life.
-
-
“…Grant me the serenity…”
- By Rachel Cornell on 12-25-24
By: Mel Robbins
-
The 5 Second Rule
- Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage
- By: Mel Robbins
- Narrated by: Mel Robbins
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
How to enrich your life and destroy doubt in five seconds. Throughout your life, you've had parents, coaches, teachers, friends, and mentors who have pushed you to be better than your excuses and bigger than your fears. What if the secret to having the confidence and courage to enrich your life and work is simply knowing how to push yourself?
-
-
I turned it off after an hour.
- By Zac on 04-08-17
By: Mel Robbins
-
Can't Hurt Me
- Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds
- By: David Goggins
- Narrated by: David Goggins, Adam Skolnick
- Length: 13 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For David Goggins, childhood was a nightmare--poverty, prejudice, and physical abuse colored his days and haunted his nights. But through self-discipline, mental toughness, and hard work, Goggins transformed himself from a depressed, overweight young man with no future into a US Armed Forces icon and one of the world's top endurance athletes. The only man in history to complete elite training as a Navy SEAL, Army Ranger, and Air Force tactical air controller, he went on to set records in numerous endurance events.
-
-
Opting for the book instead
- By S David on 12-24-18
By: David Goggins
-
The Art of War
- By: Sun Tzu
- Narrated by: Aidan Gillen
- Length: 1 hr and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The 13 chapters of The Art of War, each devoted to one aspect of warfare, were compiled by the high-ranking Chinese military general, strategist, and philosopher Sun-Tzu. In spite of its battlefield specificity, The Art of War has found new life in the modern age, with leaders in fields as wide and far-reaching as world politics, human psychology, and corporate strategy finding valuable insight in its timeworn words.
-
-
The actual book The Art of War, not a commentary
- By Nemo71 on 12-31-19
By: Sun Tzu
-
Take Control of Your Life
- How to Silence Fear and Win the Mental Game
- By: Mel Robbins
- Narrated by: Mel Robbins
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Mel Robbins is back! The international bestselling phenomenon and creator of The Five Second Rule and Kick Ass with Mel Robbins returns to help you tackle the single biggest obstacle you face: fear. This life-changing Audible Original features a powerful mix of one-on-one life-coaching sessions and a personal narrative with vital take-aways that you can start using immediately.
-
-
Stop living in fear
- By Nike7 on 02-08-19
By: Mel Robbins
-
You Will Not Recognize Your Life
- By: Micaela Blei
- Narrated by: Micaela Blei
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s 2006. After a string of rejections from men who tell her they could never, ever, ever see her “that way,” awkward third-grade teacher Micaela Blei signs up for a mysterious course called “The Divine Feminine,” and feels like she might have found the key to the perfect life. Turns out if you’re an A student, you can get an A in anything–including men. Pretty soon she’s learning to "conjure" her desires with vision boards, flirtations, and even a daring jumbotron viewing party for her, ahem ... "divine center."
-
-
Humor, Humanity, and the Heart of Self-Love
- By David on 12-12-24
By: Micaela Blei
-
Deep Sleep Hypnosis: Fall Asleep Instantly and Sleep Well
- By: Jasmine Harris
- Narrated by: Allison Mason
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A lack of quality sleep can hinder your alertness and quality of life while awake, as anyone with sleeping issues already knows. Suffering through sleepless nights does not have to be your reality. Instead you can fall asleep fast and get quality sleep tonight and every night. Hypnosis has been used for centuries to cure many ailments, including the inability to get better sleep. You can help yourself improve the quality of your life with hypnotherapy.
-
-
put me right to sleep
- By Cassandra on 05-08-17
By: Jasmine Harris
-
The 6 Habits of Growth
- By: Brendon Burchard
- Narrated by: Brendon Burchard
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The world’s leading high-performance coach and multiple New York Times best-selling author Brendon Burchard delivers the six habits of personal growth that will help you create the life of your dreams. Forged from Brendon Burchard’s personal experiences, data from his GrowthDay app, and his many years as a high-performance coach, The 6 Habits of Growth presents the tools you need to construct the life of your dreams.
-
-
Don’t bother
- By B. Sharpe on 10-30-22
By: Brendon Burchard
-
12 Months to $1 Million
- How to Pick a Winning Product, Build a Real Business, and Become a Seven-Figure Entrepreneur
- By: Ryan Daniel Moran
- Narrated by: Ryan Daniel Moran
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
By cutting out the noise and providing a clear and proven plan, this road map helps even brand-new entrepreneurs make decisions quickly, get their product up for sale, and launch it to a crowd that is ready and waiting to buy. This one-year plan will guide you through the three stages to your first $1 million: the Grind (months 0-4), the Growth (months 5-8), and the Gold (months 9-12). If your goal is to be a full-time entrepreneur, get ready for one chaotic, stressful, and rewarding year. If you have the guts to complete it, you will be the proud owner of a million-dollar business.
-
-
Good, but a Little Misleading
- By Chris Love on 11-28-20
-
The Daily Stoic
- 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living
- By: Ryan Holiday, Stephen Hanselman
- Narrated by: Brian Holsopple
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Why have history's greatest minds - from George Washington to Frederick the Great to Ralph Waldo Emerson along with today's top performers, from Super Bowl-winning football coaches to CEOs and celebrities - embraced the wisdom of the ancient Stoics? Because they realize that the most valuable wisdom is timeless and that philosophy is for living a better life, not a classroom exercise. The Daily Stoic offers a daily devotional of Stoic insights and exercises, featuring all-new translations.
-
-
Not well made as audio
- By Andreas on 12-27-16
By: Ryan Holiday, and others
-
F*ck Him!
- Nice Girls Always Finish Single
- By: Brian Keephimattracted, Brian Nox
- Narrated by: Jerod McBrayer
- Length: 2 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The MANipulator manual. Keep your man interested and begging for more without playing games. So many women get in trouble in their love lives, and 99.9 percent of that trouble could have been avoided if they'd said "Well, f**k him!" a bit more often. Too many women are way too nice and compliant to their men, especially when these men don't deserve that kind of treatment. I, as a dating coach and author of books for women who want to get men, cannot take it anymore.
-
-
...
- By Emma R. on 02-01-18
By: Brian Keephimattracted, and others
-
Self Help
- This Is Your Chance to Change Your Life
- By: Gabrielle Bernstein, Richard C. Schwartz - foreword
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Bernstein, Richard C. Schwartz - foreword
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Are you ready to unlock the greatest resource of your life? Gabby Bernstein has written the ultimate self-help guide, offering a revolutionary practice to radically shift your core beliefs and connect you to an infallible inner guidance system: the energy of Self within you. In this groundbreaking book, Gabby demystifies the power of Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy, taking its life-changing teachings out of the therapist’s office and into your everyday life.
-
-
Self Serving
- By pricefreund on 01-14-25
By: Gabrielle Bernstein, and others
What listeners say about It's Not You
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Anonymous User
- 10-04-24
It's Not You!!!
Powerful and informative. I loved the deep insight and examples of it in detailed explanation.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Anonymous User
- 03-14-24
Amazing!!!
For the first two hours I had goosebumps as I could point every sentence to my story…, Amazing amazing amazing!!!!
She is brilliant… and I pray this book reaches every single person in a narcissistic relationship!!! Thank you Dr Ramini!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- MISS
- 12-23-24
Best Book on healing from narcissistic abuse
Perfect sequence and excellent explanations .
it all makes sense now!
Thank you Dr Ramani! You’re the best!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Anonymous User
- 03-21-24
Very insightful
Such an informative and insightful book for navigating relationships with narcissistic individuals. Definitely would recommend.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!