Kelpie Dreams
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Narrated by:
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Cheyenne Bizon
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By:
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Steve Vernon
About this listen
Meet Lady Macbeth - a high school librarian, ex-assassin, and part-time kelpie, whose mother wanted to name her Hemorrhoid at birth. Now she has to take on a Sea Hag - eight legs of Godzilla-ugly poured into a bucket full of meanness - with the help of a one-woman army named Rhonda, a 200-year-old sea captain, and a hunky lighthouse keeper who won't admit that he's dead as well.
Kelpie Dreams is a funny, action-packed, shoot-em-up paranormal romance novel for folks who hate romance novels.
A 2016 Kindle Press-winning novel.
©2016 Steve Vernon (P)2018 Steve VernonListeners also enjoyed...
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He's a self-described beach bum who won his houseboat in a card game. He's also a knight errant who's wary of credit cards, retirement benefits, political parties, mortgages, and television. He only works when his cash runs out, and his rule is simple: he'll help you find whatever was taken from you, as long as he can keep half.
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Before the A-Team, there was Travis McGee
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 11-12-16
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Distant Echoes
- Aloha Reef Series, Book 1
- By: Colleen Coble
- Narrated by: Rachel Botchan
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Sometimes, Kaia Oana thinks her dolphins are more humane than humans. As a mammal intelligence researcher, Kaia has learned a thing or two about the goodness and intelligence of dolphins - and as a natural scientist in close proximity to weapons developers, she's learned a thing or two about humans as well. When a tourist catamaran explodes off the coast of the Hawaiian island of Kauai, Kaia and her trained dolphin, Nani, rush to aid the search and rescue effort. After hours of searching, an exhausted Kaia is pulled from the water by Lieutenant Commander Jesse Matthews of the US Navy.
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Redundant
- By Wendy on 05-30-20
By: Colleen Coble
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The Dead Cat Bounce
- By: Sarah Graves
- Narrated by: Lindsay Ellison
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Since she bought her rambling fixer-upper of a house, Jacobia Tiptree has gotten used to finding things broken. But her latest problem isn't so easily repaired. Along with the rotting floor joists and sagging support beams, there's the little matter of the dead man in Jake's storeroom, an ice pick planted firmly in his cranium. Jake's unknown guest turns out to be local boy turned billionaire Threnody McIlwaine.
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too slow of a story...
- By Annette on 03-13-18
By: Sarah Graves
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Cool Blue Tomb
- By: Paul Kemprecos
- Narrated by: Barry Campbell
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling author Paul Kemprecos' first mystery novel, Cool Blue Tomb, introduces Aristotle "Soc" Socarides - part-time fisherman, part-time private eye, full-time philosopher. In his inaugural outing, Soc is swimming with the sharks - only problem is, he's the bait.
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You will love this. It's that simple.
- By Pete on 10-29-11
By: Paul Kemprecos
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Before the Storm
- By: Diane Chamberlain
- Narrated by: Abby Craden, Kris Koscheski
- Length: 11 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Laurel Lockwood lost her son once through neglect. She's spent the rest of her life determined to make up for her mistakes, and she has succeeded in becoming a committed, protective parent-maybe even overprotective. Still, she loosens her grip just enough to let Andy attend a local church social-a decision that terrifies her when the church is consumed by fire. But Andy survives...and remarkably, saves other children from the flames.
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Great book...HORRIBLE performance
- By Andrea on 03-10-15
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Wickedly Dangerous
- Baba Yaga Series #1
- By: Deborah Blake
- Narrated by: Romy Nordlinger
- Length: 12 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Older than she looks and powerful beyond measure, Barbara Yager no longer has much in common with the mortal life she left behind long ago. Posing as an herbalist and a researcher, she travels the country with her faithful (mostly) dragon-turned-dog in an enchanted Airstream, fulfilling her duties as a Baba Yaga and avoiding any possibility of human attachment.
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Absolutely FABULOUS!
- By Fraggle on 11-03-16
By: Deborah Blake
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Dead in Dublin
- Dublin Driver Mysteries, Book 1
- By: Catie Murphy
- Narrated by: Lucy Rayner
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Ferrying tourists around Dublin for the Leprechaun Limo Service makes quite a change after years in the military. Still, Megan Malone is enjoying her life in Ireland. She likes the scenery, the easy pace, the quirky, quick-witted locals. Everything - except having one of her clients drop dead at the statue of fabled fishmonger, Molly Malone. Most restaurant critics notch up their share of enemies. Elizabeth Darr, however, was a well-loved international star. She and her husband, Simon, had just had dinner when Elizabeth collapsed, and spoiled seafood is the first suspect.
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Narration is fabulous
- By Amazon Customer on 02-04-21
By: Catie Murphy
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Jack: Secret Histories
- Young Repairman Jack Series 1
- By: F. Paul Wilson
- Narrated by: Alexander Cendese
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Ever come across a situation that simply wasn't right - where someone was getting the dirty end of the stick and you wished you could make things right but didn't know how? Fourteen-year-old Jack knows how. Or rather he's learning how. He's discovering that he has a knack for fixing things. Not bikes or toys or appliances - situations...It all starts when Jack and his best friends, Weezy and Eddie, discover a rotting corpse - the victim of ritual murder - in the fabled New Jersey Pine Barrens. Beside the body is an ancient artifact carved with strange designs.
By: F. Paul Wilson
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Clovenhoof
- By: Heide Goody, Iain Grant
- Narrated by: Matthew Lloyd Davies
- Length: 12 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Charged with gross incompetence, Satan is fired from his job as prince of Hell and exiled to that most terrible of places: English suburbia. Forced to live as a human under the name of Jeremy Clovenhoof, the dark lord not only has to contend with the fact that no one recognizes him or gives him the credit he deserves but also has to put up with the bookish war-gamer next door and the voracious man-eater upstairs.
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This Series Is Phenomenal
- By Marcus on 10-27-19
By: Heide Goody, and others
What listeners say about Kelpie Dreams
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- The Drewster
- 03-15-18
Funny and Exciting!!!
I love the main character! No dull moments here. It’s also a very funny paranormal story.
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- Audiobookaddict1
- 03-03-18
I was pleasantly surprised
A very creative book. clever writing and smart. i never heard of the author and I went into the book not sure what to think but I promised myself that I would not make any presumptions. I was very glad I did.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Deedra
- 05-04-18
Kelpie Dreams
I LOVED this book!The imagery is fantastic!The characters are very likable,even the bad gal is likable in a way.Cheyenne Bizon was a really good narator.I was given this book by the narrator,author or publisher free for an honest review.
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- Karen S
- 07-26-18
Enjoyed this book. Paranormal. Fun.
Definitely different from most other books. Lots of action, some humor. Fun and fast moving story. The narration was excellent, easy to listen to Cheyenne Bizon. I would listen to more of Steve Vernon's books.
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- LITRPG Audiobook Reviews
- 03-01-18
Not your average novel
This book is a mix of humor, action, and suspense. It starts off with a bang, as our protagonist, Dee, loses her son. Distrught, she flings herself into the sea end does not find the grim reaper waiting below. From there the story just about leaps off the page, and you will find yourself dripping with sea water. The book is all kinds of funny, and is packed full of triva, and pop culture references, and yet it still manages to keep itself serious. Just a heads up there is some lesbian stuff in there, so if you can't handle it don't freak out after and give a bad review.
Cheyenne Bizon, God, I love that name, does a great job narrating, she is funny and serious when she needs to be and handles her characters like she was D.W. Griffith. Kelpie Dreams is a fun and moving book.
You'll be glad you got it.
So.
Get it, read it, love it.
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3 people found this helpful
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- D. Sturgeon
- 03-01-18
Awesome Story!
I received this audio book for free in exchange for my honest review. This is a great story with great narration. Enough said. Enjoy!
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- ReadingRover
- 03-26-18
Good premise but poorly executed
This audiobook was kind of a wild ride. I enjoyed the premise and I liked the characters. The story was ok. Some of the inner monologues and flirty chit chat were a bit drawn out. There was a ton of repetition with the same phrases or descriptions used over and over again. It began to grate on my nerves and took away from the story. I’m interested to see what direction Kelpie Snow is going in. So that’s up next. The narrator was good. I enjoyed her portrayal of each character. I think if the book had less banter and repetitive chatter I would have enjoyed it more.
I was generously provided with a copy of this audiobook by the author/narrator/publisher in exchange for an unbiased and honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
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- Ryan
- 03-08-18
A good premise ruined by bad writing
I actually liked the idea of the story. There were some good puns, jokes and funny scenes buried under repeated inane banter and characters trying way too hard to practice alliteration on the reader/listener.
Almost felt like the author was being paid by the word on some of the dialog tangents from the main character.
This was a stand alone book, but there were tons of references to make you feel you started reading the third book in a series and you’ve missed important details somewhere.
At one point while listening and driving I heard a siren and almost pulled over before I realized it was from the recording. Lots of distracting background noises in the narration.
My second mistake was finishing the whole book just so I could find out what happened ...... the ending just fizzled out.
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1 person found this helpful