
Lipstick and Lies and Deadly Goodbyes
The Vampire Housewife Series, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Hollie Jackson
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By:
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Jodi Vaughn
About this listen
Ever been almost beheaded by a snow plow? Turned into an undead by a homeless vampire? Cheated and betrayed by your lying sack of shit husband? Welcome to my life. Or, more correctly, my crazy afterlife.
To everyone behind the gates of our wealthy community in Charming, Mississippi, my husband and I were the Joneses everyone tried to keep up with. A beautiful house, the perfect gated community, two gorgeous kids, and a supposedly flawless marriage.
Until I came home and caught him rolling around in our bed, hip-deep in my best friend. Which led to the aforementioned snow plow incident. I woke up with a fear of the sun and a propensity for drinking blood. Or, in laymen’s terms, a vampire.
I thought vampires were supposed to be hot and irresistible. But my maker smells like he just stepped out of a sewer, and he has the appeal of a turd in a punch bowl. But you know how life is as one of the Joneses - you gotta keep up. Keep up appearances, that is.
I’ve swapped my triple, venti, sugar-free, nonfat caramel macchiato for a stainless steel rambler that keeps my O-negative at the perfect room temperature. I can still manage the carpool lane, with the right sunglasses to hide my crazy eyes. But between daytime soccer games, a missing college student who might have been a vampire kill, trying not to drain my soon-to-be-ex-husband, and keeping my neighbors in the dark, I’m shaking in my Jimmy Choos. I'm not sure I can do this.
My name is Rachel Jones, and I’m the vampire housewife.
©2019 Jodi Vaughn (P)2020 Jodi VaughnListeners also enjoyed...
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Yes!!!
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Rachel is witty and fun. My only complaint is that it ended too soon. I can't wait to read the next book in the series.
Enjoyable listen
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very entertaining
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Another vampire story
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This is a wonderfully written book
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lipstick and lies and deadly goodbyes
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Delighted
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Right off the bat, it was like the first time. The performance by the narrator brought the story to another level. You heard the pain and anguish the heroine felt, as well as the love for her family. Her disbelief at what life had thrown her way was both sad and funny, depending of course on which incident she was going through. I hope you choose to listen to this story, but read or listen you too will say it's a vampire story like none other, but a story that rings true when it concerns her personal family life.
you've never read a vampire story like this one
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Listener received this title free
Rachel arrived home, sneaked into one of the guest bathrooms and got herself naked except for a giant red bow. But when she opened their bedroom door it was to see her husband and her best friend too involved in their sexual activities to even notice her. Devastated she ran from the house and drove away into the night. But there was snow and ice on the ground and she wrecked her car. Then awoke in a strange house wrapped in a quilt to be told by a strange man that she'd been nearly decapitated by a snowplough and that the only way he could save her was to make her a vampire! He's her maker and he's supposed to teach her everything about becoming a vampire. But this revelation is just one too many for Rachel and she rushes out barefoot into the snow, intending to go home.
What follows is a very entertaining and original story of how she tries to work through her feelings about her husband and friend's betrayal. As well as what would be best for her and the girls. She also has to cope with all the changes to her body as she transitions from human to vampire. How will she be able to keep her girls happy and safe? How can she adapt to her new life and still be there for them and what about her cheating husband?
The characters are wonderfully well developed, and the story never lagged at all. I wish the rest of the books in this series were already in audible because I so want to know what happens next.
The narration of this entertaining story by Hollie Jackson is superb and could not be improved upon, she brought all the characters to life beautifully especially Rachel, I hope that she narrates the next three books.
I was given this audiobook as a gift and am voluntarily writing my review.
Rachel's New Beginning
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Loyalisa30
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