Magical Crimes
Twenty-Four Inches from Tulsa
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Narrated by:
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Stephen Bel Davies
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By:
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Chris Dolley
About this listen
Magical Crimes is a fun CSI with magic and "a little something else" story. The little something else being two-foot-long and lurking in the hero’s trousers. But don’t worry, the penis in this story is used purely for the purpose God intended - humour and crimefighting - not lustful titillation.
Seb Kemp is a psychic profiler with a problem. After a night out drinking some men wake up with an unexpected tattoo. Seb woke up with a floor-length boinkwurst and no memory of how, when, or where it happened. To make matters worse, magic doesn’t work well with living tissue. The results are unpredictable. The spell might fade after a few days or...something might drop off. He needs help but, Pete, his forensic magician partner, is 3,000 miles away working on another case and Tulsa, Seb’s new partner, is of the young and female persuasion. Not to mention extremely hot. The two of them are thrown together to solve a high-profile locked-room mystery where the utmost tact and diplomacy is required - not easy for a man with unpredictable trousers. Magical Crimes is just over 13,000 words in length which equates to about 65 pages of a mass-market paperback.
©2010 Chris Dolley (P)2014 Audible Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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An attack in the dark. The loss of a love. Waking up hung over in a ditch. These are the things that make a hero, especially if that hero is Quincy Harker, immortal wizard, snarky bastard, and general badass. Histories collects two short stories and one short novella giving a peek behind the curtain at the man, the myth, the legend that is Quincy Harker, as well as the origin story of one of his most popular cohorts, Jo Henry.
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Great for newcomers and Harker fans
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 10-11-22
By: John G. Hartness
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Strangers
- By: Paul Finch
- Narrated by: Chloe Massey
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Dark, gritty and always edge-of-your-seat: the number one best seller is back with a standout new heroine.... Unknown, alone, and fearing for your life. As PC Lucy Clayburn is about to find out, going undercover is the most dangerous work there is. But on the trail of a prolific female serial killer, there's no other option - and these murders are as brutal as they come. Lucy must step into the line of fire - a stranger in a criminal underworld that butchers anyone who crosses the line.
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what the f...!
- By Peet on 10-18-16
By: Paul Finch
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Dead to Me
- Simon Canderous, Book 1
- By: Anton Strout
- Narrated by: David DeVries
- Length: 9 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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A new urban fantasy featuring a man working on the right side of the law - with talents that come from left field. Psychometry - the power to touch an object and divine information about its history - has meant a life of petty crime for Simon Canderous, but now he's gone over to the good side. At New York's underfunded and (mostly) secret Department of Extraordinary Affairs, he's learning about red tape, office politics, and the basics of paranormal investigation. But it's not the paperwork that has him breathless.
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Fun - worth the credit
- By BikeVON on 08-03-12
By: Anton Strout
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Off to Be the Wizard
- Magic 2.0, Book 1
- By: Scott Meyer
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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It's a simple story. Boy finds proof that reality is a computer program. Boy uses program to manipulate time and space. Boy gets in trouble. Boy flees back in time to Medieval England to live as a wizard while he tries to think of a way to fix things. Boy gets in more trouble. Oh, and boy meets girl at some point.
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Hang in there
- By Kelly on 03-04-17
By: Scott Meyer
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The Death Trust
- Vin Cooper, Book 1
- By: David Rollins
- Narrated by: Mel Foster
- Length: 13 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Amid the dust, death, and chaos of Iraq, an American soldier on a routine patrol is killed by an unseen enemy. It's a tragedy but not a crime - until it's linked to the bizarre death of a decorated four-star general who happens to be the dead man's father...and the son-in-law of history's most feared and powerful U.S. vice president.
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An action book with out much action...
- By Susan on 07-13-10
By: David Rollins
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Dating Dead Men
- By: Harley Jane Kozak
- Narrated by: Deanna Hurst
- Length: 10 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Los Angeles greeting-card artist Wollie Shelley is dating 40 men in 60 days as research for a radio talk show host's upcoming book. Wollie is meeting plenty of eligible bachelors but not falling in love, not until she stumbles over a dead body en route to Rio Pescado - a state-run mental hospital - and is taken hostage by a charismatic "doctor" who is on the run from the Mob.
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Another Stephanie Plum
- By Don on 08-30-12
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Nightfall
- A Jack Nightingale Supernatural Thriller
- By: Stephen Leather
- Narrated by: Paul Thornley
- Length: 11 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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“You’re going to hell, Jack Nightingale”: They are words that ended his police career. Now Jack’s a struggling private detective – and the chilling words come back to haunt him. Nightingale’s life is turned upside down the day that he inherits a mansion from a man who claims to be his father. It comes with a warning that Nightingale’s soul was sold at birth and a devil will come to claim it on his 33rd birthday – just three weeks away.
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Kept my attention
- By Deziderata on 08-12-10
By: Stephen Leather
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Wasp
- Uncommon Enemies, Book 1
- By: Fiona Quinn
- Narrated by: Sean Crisden
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Zoe Kealoha's work as a military scientist was supposed to change the way America hunted terrorists. It should not have made her a target. But it did. Now, if she has any hope of surviving, she needs help. She needs her boyfriend, Gage - the man who, up until now, had no idea what she actually did for a living....
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Great
- By Suzanne on 01-04-24
By: Fiona Quinn
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Stalkers
- By: Paul Finch
- Narrated by: Paul Thornley
- Length: 13 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Time's up. You're Next. "All he had to do was name the woman he wanted. It was that easy. They would do all the hard work. "Detective Sergeant Mark 'Heck' Heckenburg is investigating the disappearance of 38 different women. Each one was happy and successful until they vanished without a trace. Desperate to find her missing sister, Lauren Wraxford seeks out Heck's help.
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Great !
- By CM on 03-28-16
By: Paul Finch
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Library of the Dead
- Will Piper Series, Book 1
- By: Glenn Cooper
- Narrated by: Pete Bradbury
- Length: 12 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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A murderer is on the loose on the streets of New York City: nicknamed the Doomsday Killer, he's claimed six victims in just two weeks, and the city is terrified. Even worse, the police are mystified: the victims have nothing in common, defying all profiling, and all that connects them is that each received a sick postcard in the mail before they died - a postcard that announced their date of death. In desperation, the FBI assigns the case to maverick agent Will Piper, once the most accomplished serial-killing expert in the bureau's history, now on a dissolute spiral to retirement.
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Ok towards the end
- By JoAnn on 05-23-23
By: Glenn Cooper
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Tarantula
- A John Milton Short Story
- By: Mark Dawson
- Narrated by: David Thorpe
- Length: 2 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Meet John Milton. He considers himself an artisan. A craftsman. His trade is murder. Milton is the man the government sends after you when everything else has failed. Ruthless. Brilliant. Anonymous. Lethal. You wouldn't pick him out of a crowd but you wouldn't want to be on his list. In this second dip into his case files (see 1000 Yards for a further novella), Milton is sent to Italy to investigate the death of a colleague from Group 15.
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John Milton tries to exit British intelligence
- By Wayne on 06-03-16
By: Mark Dawson
What listeners say about Magical Crimes
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- swyrlgirl
- 05-15-21
Funny
Very well read and funny! Love the Euphemisms and well paced. Definitely worth a listen.
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- Daniel A. Kenison
- 01-16-22
Different Kind of Story
A big penis doesn't play a big part in the story, but pretty darn funny.
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- Suzanne
- 11-14-20
3.5 stars of a short, fun silliness.
If you are looking for something silly, and short to listen to and are not easily offended then give this book a listen. I was laughing at the end. The narrator did a decent job.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Adam John Kauthen
- 03-13-21
Part 2?
Knew it was a short book but the way it ended there has got to be a part 2?
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Overall
- J Glenn Bryant
- 06-22-21
outstanding
OMG! I LOVED IT! you obviously know what it's like to live my life 😂
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1 person found this helpful
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- Tatras
- 06-13-21
Pulp and funny (mostly).
Kind of pubertal penis theme. It have some funny interesting ideas in worldbuiling, which have potential.
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1 person found this helpful
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- 🔥 Phx17 🔥
- 03-19-21
Two foot schlong because... why?!
In a world of mages, psychics and genies, Seb heads out on assignment with a sexy new CSI partner to investigate a mob-connected kidnapping. Oh, and he woke up with a two foot long schlong. Which provides for a series of bit gags. For free, this was easy, silly listening with some Benny Hill humor, some magical sleuthing, and some pretty good narration of mafia guidos. The mystery of how Seb got his impressive Johnson is solved too, in the last minute of the book.
Free of profanity and sex, but full of physical comedy starring an oversized Johnson.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Michele
- 09-27-21
I'm glad I didn't pay for this
if you're looking for a completely silly waste of time with a lot of dick talk, this might be for you.
it felt like a teenager had a dream about having a big dick and realized he better throw a story around it.
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1 person found this helpful