Mortuary Confidential
Undertakers Spill the Dirt
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Narrated by:
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Susan Larkin
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Allan Robertson
About this listen
When the casket reached the front of the sanctuary, there was a loud cracking sound as the bottom fell out. And with a thump, down came Father Iggy.
From shoot-outs at funerals to dead men screaming and runaway corpses, undertakers have plenty of unusual stories to tell - and a special way of telling them.
In this macabre and moving compilation, funeral directors across the country share their most embarrassing, jaw-dropping, irreverent, and deeply poignant stories about life at death's door. Discover what scares them and what moves them to tears. Learn about rookie mistakes and why death sometimes calls for duct tape.
Enjoy tales of the dearly departed spending eternity naked from the waist down and getting bottled and corked - in a wine bottle. And then meet their families - the weepers, the punchers, the stolidly dignified, and the ones who deliver their dead mother in a pickup truck.
If there's one thing undertakers know, it's that death drives people crazy. These are the best "bodies of work" from America's darkest profession.
©2010 Kenneth McKenzie and Todd Harra (P)2021 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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- By: Elizabeth Meyer
- Narrated by: Cris Dukehart
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Elizabeth Meyer stumbled upon a career in the midst of planning her own father's funeral, which she turned into an upbeat party with Rolling Stones music, thousands of dollars worth of her mother's favorite flowers, and a personalized eulogy. Starting out as a receptionist, Meyer quickly found she had a knack for helping people cope with their grief as well as creating fitting send-offs for some of the city's most high-powered residents.
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Great Listen!
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By: Elizabeth Meyer
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Weekend Warriors
- Sisterhood, Book 1
- By: Fern Michaels
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
On the surface, these seven women are as different as can be - but each has had her share of bad luck, from cheating husbands to sexist colleagues to a legal system that often doesn't do its job. Now, drawn together by tragedy, they're forging a bond that will help them right the wrongs committed against them and discover an inner strength they didn't know they had. The Sisterhood is learning that when bad things happen, you can roll over and play dead...or you can get up fighting...
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Weekend Warriors
- By Ms Mare on 04-04-09
By: Fern Michaels
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Little Girl Lost
- A Foundlings Novel
- By: Wendy Corsi Staub
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 11 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
May 1968 - On a murky pre-dawn Mother’s Day, sinister secrets play out miles apart in New York City. In Harlem, a church janitor finds a newborn in a basket. In Brooklyn, an elusive serial killer prowls slumbering families, leaving a trail of blood. These seemingly unrelated lives - and deaths - are destined to intersect on a distant, blood-soaked day. October, 1987 - Reeling from shocking personal discoveries, two strangers navigate a world where nothing is as it seems.
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Not Up To Staub's Standards
- By Gracie on 12-29-18
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The Wednesday Letters
- By: Jason F. Wright
- Narrated by: Art Allen
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Jack and Laurel have been married for 39 years. They've lived a good life and appear to have had the perfect marriage. With his wife cradled in his arms, and before Jack takes his last breath, he scribbles his last “Wednesday Letter.” When their adult children arrive to arrange the funeral, they discover boxes and boxes full of love letters that their father wrote to their mother each week on Wednesday. As they begin to open and read the letters, the children begin to uncover the shocking truth about the past.
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EXCELLENT!!!!!
- By Boomer on 02-28-15
By: Jason F. Wright
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Chanel Bonfire
- By: Wendy Lawless
- Narrated by: Wendy Lawless
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
By the time Wendy Lawless turned 17, she'd known for quite some time that she didn't have a normal mother. But that didn't stop her from wanting one.... Georgann Rea didn't bake cookies or go to PTA meetings; she wore a mink coat and always had a lit Dunhill plugged into her cigarette holder. She went through men like Kleenex, and didn't like dogs or children. Georgann had the ice queen beauty of a Hitchcock heroine and the cold heart to match.
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Not an Engaging Listen
- By Sobriquet on 03-13-13
By: Wendy Lawless
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The Scoop
- Godmothers, Book 1
- By: Fern Michaels
- Narrated by: Natalie Ross
- Length: 8 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Teresa "Toots" Amelia Loudenberry has crammed a great deal of living - not to mention eight much-loved husbands - into her varied and rewarding life. Newly single, Toots is ready to taste life again, and fate has just handed her the perfect opportunity.
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GREAT FUN
- By Linda Louise on 03-12-12
By: Fern Michaels
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Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See
- By: Juliann Garey
- Narrated by: Dan Butler
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In her tour-de-force first novel, Juliann Garey takes us inside the restless mind, ravaged heart, and anguished soul of Greyson Todd, a successful Hollywood studio executive who leaves his wife and young daughter and for a decade travels the world giving free reign to the bipolar disorder he's been forced to keep hidden for almost 20 years.
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Psychosis or Syphilis?
- By Vira on 04-02-13
By: Juliann Garey
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Death at the Chateau Bremont
- Verlaque and Bonnet Provençal Mystery Series, Book 1
- By: M.L. Longworth
- Narrated by: Christa Lewis
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When local nobleman Étienne de Bremont falls to his death from the family château, it sets the historic town of Aix-en-Provence abuzz with rumors. The once-idyllic town suddenly seems filled with people who could have benefited from Bremont's death - including his playboy brother, François, who's heavily in debt and mixed up with some unsavory characters. But just as the list of suspects is being narrowed down, another death occurs. And this time, there can be no doubt - it's murder.
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Narrator is awful
- By F. Miller on 05-06-23
By: M.L. Longworth
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Bring on the Blessings
- A Novel
- By: Beverly Jenkins
- Narrated by: Lynnette R. Freeman
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Bernadine Brown is a woman with money to spend. Henry Adams is a town in desperate need of cash. But after Bernadine puts up the money, she has some ideas about how the town should be run. Will the townspeople be willing to shake up their comfortable lives to share the gift they’ve been given with others who really need it?
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Not my idea of a Christian story
- By DJ Stevenson on 04-12-21
By: Beverly Jenkins
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The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club
- True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Introducing Laurie Notaro, the leader of the Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club. Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends - and that's before she even puts on a bra. For the past 10 years, Notaro has been entertaining Phoenix newspaper readers with her wildly amusing autobiographical exploits and unique life experiences.
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Sweet and funny
- By Julia Valentin on 12-19-20
By: Laurie Notaro
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The Art of Crash Landing
- A Novel
- By: Melissa DeCarlo
- Narrated by: Johanna Parker
- Length: 10 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Mattie Wallace has really screwed up this time. Broke and knocked up, she's got all her worldly possessions crammed into six giant trash bags and nowhere to go. Try as she might, Mattie can no longer deny that she really is turning into her mother, a broken alcoholic who never met a bad choice she didn't make. When Mattie gets news of a possible inheritance left by a grandmother she's never met, she jumps at this one last chance to turn things around.
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Unlikable character
- By RueRue on 09-18-15
By: Melissa DeCarlo
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I worked with cadavers for years, but....
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From Here to Eternity
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Fascinated by our pervasive terror of dead bodies, mortician Caitlin Doughty set out to discover how other cultures care for their dead. In rural Indonesia, she observes a man clean and dress his grandfather's mummified body. Grandpa's mummy has lived in the family home for two years, where the family has maintained a warm and respectful relationship. She meets Bolivian natitas (cigarette-smoking, wish-granting human skulls) and introduces us to a Japanese kotsuage.
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Caitlin has done it again
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Smoke Gets in Your Eyes
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Most people want to avoid thinking about death, but Caitlin Doughty - a 20-something with a degree in medieval history and a flair for the macabre - took a job at a crematory, turning morbid curiosity into her life’s work. With an original voice that combines fearless curiosity and mordant wit, Caitlin tells an unusual coming-of-age story full of bizarre encounters, gallows humor, and vivid characters (both living and very dead).
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Loved it So Much I Bought it After Reading it Free
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Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs?
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In Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs?, Doughty blends her mortician’s knowledge of the body and the intriguing history behind common misconceptions about corpses to offer factual, hilarious, and candid answers to 35 distinctive questions posed by her youngest fans. In her inimitable voice, Doughty details lore and science of what happens to, and inside, our bodies after we die. Why do corpses groan? What causes bodies to turn colors during decomposition? And why do hair and nails appear longer after death?
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There is just something with Caitlin Doughty...
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Morgue
- A Life in Death
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Vincent Di Maio, MD, son of a famous New York City medical examiner, is one of the lions of forensic science. In this clear, gritty, and enthralling narrative, Di Maio himself guides us into the inner sanctum, through the cases that have made him famous, from the exhumation of assassin Lee Harvey Oswald and the racially charged shooting of Florida teen Trayvon Martin to the unmasking of a serial baby killer and the mysterious death of troubled genius Vincent van Gogh.
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Biased book with little actual forensics.
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By: Vincent Di Maio, and others
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Crazy Ambulance Tales
- By: Chris Treece
- Narrated by: Virtual Voice
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
"Emmy Award-winning writer Chris Treece delivers the true tale of a young EMT, in a rite of passage story like no other. He brings you along on an exuberant ride and leaves you asking for more." - Dr. Tiff Bombard, Emergency Room Physician Ever wonder what it’s like to be an EMT? Come on author Chris Treece’s ambulance ride. Experience his first frightening call, do CPR on a clammy chest, experience driving an ambulance (it’s fun!), train to be a crew chief, get used to gruesome death, meet the tragic people he could not help and the people who helped him – like the pretty cop who ...
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True life "Real-life" I loved everything!
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By: Chris Treece
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All the Living and the Dead
- From Embalmers to Executioners, an Exploration of the People Who Have Made Death Their Life's Work
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Overall
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Performance
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Fueled by a childhood fascination with death, journalist Hayley Campbell searches for answers in the people who make a living by working with the dead. Along the way, she encounters mass fatality investigators, embalmers, and a former executioner who is responsible for ending sixty-two lives. She meets gravediggers who have already dug their own graves, visits a cryonics facility in Michigan, goes for late-night Chinese with a homicide detective, and questions a man whose job it is to make crime scenes disappear.
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Excellent
- By Noelle on 09-01-22
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Forensics
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- By: Val McDermid
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Overall
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Performance
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The dead talk - to the right listener. They can tell us all about themselves: where they came from, how they lived, how they died, and, of course, who killed them. Forensic scientists can unlock the mysteries of the past and help serve justice using the messages left by a corpse, a crime scene, or the faintest of human traces.
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Crime Seen
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By: Val McDermid
What listeners say about Mortuary Confidential
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Performance
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- Kylie
- 06-24-24
Be ready to laugh out loud, tear up a bit & enjoy the ride these stories take you on!
I listened to this as an audiobook. Normally it doesn’t take me long to finish an audiobook at all. Especially because I tend to listen at 1.5 speed or so. This one took me longer than normal but for good reason.
I kept having to pause after stories in the book because throughout my listen I laughed, I cried, I laughed so hard I cried & I also had to rewind a bit at times to make sure I heard that right.
This was such a great listen. The stories remind you that death is just a part of life & it’s really the experience of the living. It adds levity to it. It gives you a point of few we don’t always get to see. I can’t honestly say enough about this one. Absolutely worth the read or listen!
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- T. Pannell
- 11-13-24
I loved the Stories!!
Good read if you like amusing dark tales. Some were humorous and others brought tears to my eyes.
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- Ty
- 02-13-24
It was cool
I liked it, I really didn’t know what to expect, but it was cool. A collection of stories, each unique in their own ways. I think I will pick up the other book from the authors.
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- Kari Delaney
- 02-05-23
I laughed, I cried, and I even got a little spooked at the end.
This is an outstanding collection of stories and each of the narrators does a great job telling them. Six Feet Under is my favorite show of all time and I’ve been *dying* for more content like that. This is a great listen for anyone interested, and definitely goes out with a bang with that last story! I’m already feeling sad that I’ve finished it.
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- Anonymous User
- 05-05-24
entertainment of the best kind!
A good collection of stories. Had many laughs. Thoughtful stories. Good readers. Didn't want it to end.
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- Amazon Customer
- 12-13-22
Funny, heart gripping, and a joy to listen too
The gentleman and lady reading have such wonderful voices! Soothing yet engaging and they do well to bring the stories some personality. Love the stories, absolutely fun to listen too. Some were hilarious, others more somber and better still were the ones that made me pause to really think and reflect. Will be listening again and encouraging family and friends to do the same.
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- Heather Dawn Ritchie
- 02-18-24
Nothing to writehone about
It was amusing at times, but not very memorable, I wouldn't bother referring it to a friend
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- Tania G. Hill
- 05-25-24
Good book!!!!
I loved the heartfelt stories, made me smile cry and remember some of my memories with past families I had served being in the same field of work.
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- Grace Adele Spruiell
- 12-25-22
A wonderful read!
I’m a chaplain and have always been curious about the funeral industry. This books gives the reader an inside look into faith, sorrow, loss, and a nice helping of humor and profound insight. Yes!! I recommend this book! Enjoy!!
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- donna60
- 05-27-22
Enjoyable
I don’t know if you can call a book about death enjoyable. It was entertaining and funny. I actually laughed out loud.
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