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Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs?
- Big Questions from Tiny Mortals
- Narrated by: Caitlin Doughty
- Length: 4 hrs and 29 mins
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Publisher's summary
Best-selling author and mortician Caitlin Doughty answers real questions from kids about death, dead bodies, and decomposition.
Every day, funeral director Caitlin Doughty receives dozens of questions about death. The best questions come from kids. What would happen to an astronaut’s body if it were pushed out of a space shuttle? Do people poop when they die? Can Grandma have a Viking funeral?
In Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs?, Doughty blends her mortician’s knowledge of the body and the intriguing history behind common misconceptions about corpses to offer factual, hilarious, and candid answers to 35 distinctive questions posed by her youngest fans. In her inimitable voice, Doughty details lore and science of what happens to, and inside, our bodies after we die. Why do corpses groan? What causes bodies to turn colors during decomposition? And why do hair and nails appear longer after death? Listeners will learn the best soil for mummifying your body, whether you can preserve your best friend’s skull as a keepsake, and what happens when you die on a plane.
Beautifully illustrated by Dianné Ruz, Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? shows us that death is science and art, and only by asking questions can we begin to embrace it.
Listen in as Caitlin Doughty answers questions about death.
Featured Article: A Future Corpse's Guide to Death Acceptance
Confronting death does not necessitate a spiral into despondency. Instead we may come a realization that, in acknowledging and accepting this fate, we paradoxically lead fuller and more emotionally present lives. In this list, scholars, physicians, journalists, philosophers, and death professionals share their stories, perspectives, and advice, offering a glimpse into how we can prepare for the end with grace, heart, and humor.
Editor's Pick
"I adore Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs?, and want to make it mandatory listening for anyone who wonders if kids are too young to be exposed to the concept of death. Author Caitlin Doughty shows how healthy and natural it is for young people to be curious about death, and that it doesn’t have to be sad or scary. As one of the world’s most renowned funeral directors, she gets asked a lot of questions on the topic, and it’s always the kids who ask the weirdest and most wonderful ones. In Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs?, she sets out to answer some of them—from "Can I keep my parents’ skulls after they die?" to "What would happen if you swallowed a bag of popcorn before you died and were cremated?". Dressed up as an entertaining romp through an offbeat subculture—and yes, Doughty’s pitch perfect narration is hugely entertaining!—it’s secretly a guide for how to become more comfortable with something we’ll all inevitably have to face one day 💀." —Rachel S., Audible Editor
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- Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller
- Length: 8 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Best-selling author Mary Roach returns with a new adventure to the invisible realm we carry around inside. Roach takes us down the hatch on an unforgettable tour. The alimentary canal is classic Mary Roach terrain: The questions explored in Gulp are as taboo, in their way, as the cadavers in Stiff and every bit as surreal as the universe of zero gravity explored in Packing for Mars. Why is crunchy food so appealing? Why is it so hard to find words for flavors and smells? Why doesn’t the stomach digest itself? How much can you eat before your stomach bursts?
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Funtastic Voyage
- By Mel on 04-05-13
By: Mary Roach
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Over Our Dead Bodies
- Undertakers Lift the Lid
- By: Todd Harra, Kenneth McKenzie
- Narrated by: Reay Kaplan, Gregory St. John, Brian Troxell
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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From a dysfunctional family who turn their mother's wake into a full-blown riot, to funeral crashers looking for free meals, to a horse-drawn hearse taking the dearly departed for the ride of their afterlife, these accounts from actual undertakers will have you laughing, thinking, and gasping in disbelief. A literal graveyard of wild coincidences, slapstick humor, and touching moments, Over Our Dead Bodies explores the lighter side of the dead, the living, and the lone undertaker who has to make it all go as planned - even if it doesn't.
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Great stories!
- By M.E. on 03-07-24
By: Todd Harra, and others
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Stiff
- The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers
- By: Mary Roach
- Narrated by: Shelly Frasier
- Length: 8 hrs
- Unabridged
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For two thousand years, cadavers have been involved in science's boldest strides and weirdest undertakings. They've tested France's first guillotines, ridden the NASA Space Shuttle, been crucified in a Parisian laboratory to test the authenticity of the Shroud of Turin, and helped solve the mystery of TWA Flight 800. For every new surgical procedure, from heart transplants to gender reassignment surgery, cadavers have been there alongside surgeons, making history in their quiet way.
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I worked with cadavers for years, but....
- By POQA on 11-11-12
By: Mary Roach
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Gory Details
- By: Erika Engelhaupt
- Narrated by: Mari Weiss
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Filled to the brim with far-out facts, this wickedly informative narrative from the author of National Geographic's popular Gory Details blog takes us on a fascinating journey through an astonishing new reality. Blending humor and journalism in the tradition of Mary Roach, acclaimed science reporter Erika Engelhaupt investigates the gross, strange, and morbid absurdities of our bodies and our universe.
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Feels like old school Discovery channel
- By Anonymous User on 02-15-23
By: Erika Engelhaupt
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People I Want to Punch in the Throat
- Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges
- By: Jen Mann
- Narrated by: Jen Mann
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Jen Mann doesn't have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of moms' night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship, nothing's sacred or off-limits.
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Boring, not funny, and kind of mean
- By Jess on 11-22-19
By: Jen Mann
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Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand
- Curious Adventures of a CSI
- By: Dana Kollmann
- Narrated by: Kate Zane
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Step past the flashing lights into the true scene of the crime with this frank, unflinching, and unforgettable account of life as a crime scene investigator. Whether explaining rigor mortis or the art of fingerprinting a stiff corpse on the side of the road, Dana Kollmann details her true, unvarnished experiences as a CSI for the Baltimore County Police Department.
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Overall great
- By Jennifer Guffey on 05-28-21
By: Dana Kollmann
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Decoding Cats: Inside the Feline Mind
- By: Kristyn Vitale, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Kristyn Vitale
- Length: 4 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
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Whether you’re a cat mom or dad or just want to know more about the way domesticated animals evolved, think, and behave, join Dr. Kristyn Vitale, a researcher in the Human-Animal Interaction Lab at Oregon State University, to get inside the mind of the curious, the cute, and sometimes seemingly crazy cat.
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Many studies and some practical information
- By indykatley on 12-26-20
By: Kristyn Vitale, and others
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The Chick and the Dead
- Life and Death Behind Mortuary Doors
- By: Carla Valentine
- Narrated by: Beverley A. Crick
- Length: 8 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Using the most common postmortem process as the backbone of the narrative, The Chick and the Dead takes the listener through the process of an autopsy while also describing the history and changing cultures of our relationship with the dead. The book is full of vivid insight into what happens to our bodies in the end. Each chapter considers an aspect of an autopsy alongside an aspect of Carla's own life and work and touches on some of the more controversial aspects of our feelings toward death.
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Dull
- By Leah on 08-19-17
By: Carla Valentine
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I Don't Need Therapy
- (And Other Lies I've Told Myself)
- By: Toni Lodge
- Narrated by: Toni Lodge
- Length: 5 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Like most of us, Toni Lodge tells little white lies all the time. Whether it's "I'm five minutes away" or "It must have gone to my spam folder", most of these innocent fibs are harmless. But what if you realised that you weren't just lying about the little things, but the big "life" stuff too? When Toni sat down to write this memoir, she realized that the lies she was telling herself were hiding some pretty important home truths—about her work, her identity and her mental health. In her dogged pursuit of these truths, she brazenly explores everything.
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I laughed, I cried
- By caroline on 12-12-23
By: Toni Lodge
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Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come
- One Introvert's Year of Saying Yes
- By: Jessica Pan
- Narrated by: Jessica Pan
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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What would happen if a shy introvert lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perilous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Writer Jessica Pan intends to find out. With the help of various extrovert mentors, Jessica sets up a series of personal challenges (talk to strangers, perform stand-up comedy, host a dinner party, travel alone, make friends on the road, and much, much worse) to explore whether living like an extrovert can teach her lessons that might improve the quality of her life.
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Encouraging memoir: Sorry, cheer
- By Aaron Menz on 07-03-23
By: Jessica Pan
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Dead Men Do Tell Tales
- The Strange and Fascinating Cases of a Forensic Anthropologist
- By: William R. Maples PhD, Michael Browning
- Narrated by: Stephen Bel Davies
- Length: 11 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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From a skeleton, a skull, or a mere fragment of burnt thighbone, prominent forensic anthropologist Dr. William Maples can deduce the age, gender, and ethnicity of a murder victim, the manner in which the person was dispatched, and, ultimately, the identity of the killer. In Dead Men Do Tell Tales, Dr. Maples revisits his strangest, most interesting, and most horrific investigations, from the baffling cases of conquistador Francisco Pizarro and Vietnam MIAs to the mysterious deaths of President Zachary Taylor and the family of Czar Nicholas II.
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Recommended book
- By Amazon Customer on 10-30-17
By: William R. Maples PhD, and others
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The Removalist
- On the Front Line of Death Care
- By: Matthew Franklin Sias
- Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross
- Length: 4 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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In this sequel to Silent Siren: Memoirs of a Lifesaving Mortician, ride along with mortuary removal technician Matthew Franklin Sias as he cares for the deceased in rural Washington State. Step into the hidden world of death care and explore the challenge of removing the deceased from the often-difficult, regularly awkward, and sometimes downright bizarre circumstances in which they die, the art and science of embalming, and the intrigue of forensic pathology.
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Very interesting sequel
- By PCF on 03-03-19
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Working Stiff
- Two Years, 262 Bodies, and the Making of a Medical Examiner
- By: Judy Melinek MD, T. J. Mitchell
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Just two months before the September 11 terrorist attacks, Dr. Judy Melinek began her training as a New York City forensic pathologist. With her husband and their toddler holding down the home front, Judy threw herself into the fascinating world of death investigation-performing autopsies, investigating death scenes, and counseling grieving relatives. Working Stiff chronicles Judy's two years of training, taking listeners behind the police tape of some of the most harrowing deaths in the Big Apple.
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Great story - but not for the faint of heart!
- By R. Freeman on 08-20-14
By: Judy Melinek MD, and others
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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Dewey
- The Small-Town Library Cat Who Touched the World
- By: Vicki Myron, Bret Witter
- Narrated by: Susan McInerny
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Dewey's story starts in the worst possible way. Only a few weeks old, on the coldest night of the year, he was stuffed into the returned book slot at the Spencer Public Library. He was found the next morning by library director, Vicki Myron, a single mother who had survived the loss of her family farm, a breast cancer scare, and an alcoholic husband. Dewey won her heart, and the hearts of the staff, by pulling himself up and hobbling on frostbitten feet to nudge each of them in a gesture of thanks and love. For the next 19 years, he never stopped charming the people of Spencer....
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Heart touching story
- By Fancy Nancy on 02-01-12
By: Vicki Myron, and others
What listeners say about Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- NikkiCoolJoe
- 10-24-19
Caitlin Never Dissapoints!
Another humorous look at the facts from our favorite mortician! Too much stigma surrounds the reality of death and it needs to be cleared away. You will come across some information you already know, especially if you have read her other two books; however this is definitely worth the listen! Many more new facts, and myth busts await!
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22 people found this helpful
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- Adele S.
- 02-06-20
I am a Deathling.
I originally found this author through her Ask A Mortician YouTube channel and I have liked her voice from the first word I heard. Death is her niche & she speaks about it with a knowledge, curiosity & respect that is comforting & very interesting. I highly recommend her books, videos & narrations.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 11-20-19
Engaging,Interesting,Surprising, and Factual
Even though the premise was answering children's questions.....it wasn't done in a patronizing or childlike way. The delivery was given in a straightforward, factual, and scientific way that makes it interesting for anyone who likes to learn new things. The narration made it an even more enjoyable listen to because it was enthusiastic and passionate. Overall it was very enjoyable.
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2 people found this helpful
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- mary
- 09-12-19
Hail Caitlin
This is a perfect, funny, informative book for anyone. not just kids. Every question is treated with due respect.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kabrina Campbell
- 10-04-19
so glad I got this!
honestly it answered alot of my own questions! thank you so much for putting this on audible!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Chad
- 01-22-20
Loves this book to death!!
Such a good book and an Interesting listen!
If your into mummy’s death and interesting fun facts this book is for you!!
Also Caitlin doughty could read me the dictionary and I’d love it her voice is calming and playful but also smart sounding all at the same time!!
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1 person found this helpful
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- KB
- 12-26-19
Mystery solved!
The topic of death and all that it entails is a touchy subject to discuss publicly in western society. I appreciate her willingness and candor to answer questions about death, the death industry, death planning options, and the surviving loved ones' rights. This short book takes that conversation to another level and answers a few questions grown ups are too hesitant to ask but sure are thinking. I will die knowing the answer to the question on the cover of her book. You will, too, if you read it.
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-16-19
Another informative, charming, and thought provoking account from Doughty! Love it!!
This is a great addition to any library and is suitable for kids young or older as well as adults (but be prepared to have an awkward conversation or two with little ones)! Caitlyn Doughty answers the questions from her young fans with honesty and humor (where appropriate). Nothing is infantilized or sugar-coated. Who knew talking about death, corpses, and decomposition could be so fun! Her audiobook narration is better than ever as she does voices, dramatic reading, and even sings (I won’t spoil my favorite moment, you’ll just have to listen yourself!). As always, Doughty makes learning about the most difficult topics fun without glossing over the cold hard facts we’re all secretly DYING to know! Can’t wait for her next one!!
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- Richard Johnson
- 08-20-20
Morbidly Delightful
What can I say? Caitlin is able to tackle real questions from real kids... but also things we as adults are afraid to ask.
A great teaching tool on becoming death aware and, while we never really want it to happen, this book helps view the great unknown in a more illuminated aspect.
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- Watashi Machine
- 11-24-20
Loved it!
Long time fan of Caitlin's - absolutely loved this book! Especially pleased that Caitlin read the audiobook herself - her narration is charming and energetic the whole way through. great listen~
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