My Squirrel Days
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Narrated by:
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Ellie Kemper
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By:
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Ellie Kemper
About this listen
Comedian and star of The Office and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Ellie Kemper delivers a hilarious and uplifting collection of essays about one pale woman’s journey from Midwestern naïf to Hollywood semi-celebrity to outrageously reasonable New Yorker.
There comes a time in every sitcom actress’ life when she is faced with the prospect of writing a book. When Ellie Kemper’s number was up, she was ready. Contagiously cheerful, predictably wholesome, and mostly inspiring except for one essay about her husband’s feet, My Squirrel Days is a funny, freewheeling tour of Ellie’s life - from growing up in suburban St. Louis with a vivid imagination and a crush on David Letterman to moving to Los Angeles and accidentally falling on Doris Kearns Goodwin.
But those are not the only famous names dropped in this synopsis. Ellie will also share stories of inadvertently insulting Ricky Gervais at the Emmy Awards, telling Tina Fey that she has “great hair - really strong and thick”, and offering a maxi pad to Steve Carell. She will take you back to her childhood as a nature lover determined to commune with squirrels, to her college career as a benchwarming field hockey player with no assigned position, and to her young professional days writing radio commercials for McDonald’s but never getting paid. Ellie will guide you along her journey through adulthood, from unorganized bride to impatient wife to anxious mother who - as recently observed by a sassy hairstylist - “dresses like a mom”. Well, sassy hairstylist, Ellie Kemper is a mom. And she has been dressing like it since she was four.
Ellie has written for GQ, Esquire, The New York Times, McSweeney’s, and The Onion. Her voice is the perfect antidote to the chaos of modern life. In short, she will tell you nothing you need to know about making it in show business and everything you need to know about discreetly changing a diaper at a Cibo Express.
©2018 Ellie Kemper (P)2018 Simon & SchusterListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"If you're at all a Kemper fan already (I am, a lot), you will freaking love this audiobook. Her performance is infectious. Her energy is like a rocket ship blasting out of my ear buds and into my soul! Every time I would tune back in, I was re-energized by her joie de vivre. This woman loves life, loves her life, seems to love the life of those around her; hell, she probably even loves the life of the manager of the brunch spot that didn't quite get the lentil-to-kale ratio correct on her salad. Ellie Kemper is a happy person. But she's still a regular person too.... Though I've never met her, after listening to My Squirrel Days, I feel confident in saying that Ellie Kemper is my best friend!" (The New York Times Book Review)
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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Agorafabulous!
- Dispatches From My Bedroom
- By: Sara Benincasa
- Narrated by: Sara Benincasa
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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One of the funniest and most poignant books ever written about a mental illness, Agorafabulous! is a hilarious, raw, and unforgettable account of how a terrified young woman, literally trapped by her own imagination, evolved into a (relatively) high-functioning professional smartass. Down to earth and seriously funny, Benincasa's no-holds-barred revelations offer listeners the politically incorrect hilarity they heartily crave, yet is so often missing from your typical, weepy, and redemptive personal memoir.
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More Fun than a Good Cry in a Bathroom Stall
- By Susie on 03-05-15
By: Sara Benincasa
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness
- A Feminist Coming of Age
- By: Christine Lahti
- Narrated by: Christine Lahti
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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For decades, actress and director Christine Lahti has captivated the hearts and minds of her audience through iconic roles in Chicago Hope, Running on Empty, Housekeeping, And Justice for All, Swing Shift, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, God of Carnage, and The Blacklist. Now, in True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness, this acclaimed performer channels her creativity inward to share her own story for the first time.
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Christine Lahti, Actress, Activist and A+ Author!
- By L. Cat Schultz on 10-26-18
By: Christine Lahti
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I Blame Dennis Hopper
- And Other Stories from a Life Lived in and out of the Movies
- By: Illeana Douglas
- Narrated by: Illeana Douglas
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1969, Illeana Douglas' parents saw the film Easy Rider and were transformed. Taking Dennis Hopper's words - "That's what it's all about, man" - to heart, they abandoned their comfortable upper-middle-class life and gave Illeana a childhood filled with hippies, goats, free spirits, and free love. Illeana writes, "Since it was all out of my control, I began to think of my life as a movie, with a Dennis Hopper-like father at the center of it." I Blame Dennis Hopper is a rollicking, funny, at times tender exploration of the way movies can change our lives.
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Loved Every Moment of this Book!
- By Susan Van Allen on 01-20-16
By: Illeana Douglas
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My Year with Eleanor
- A Memoir
- By: Noelle Hancock
- Narrated by: Emily Beresford
- Length: 9 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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After losing her high-octane job as an entertainment blogger, Noelle Hancock was lost. About to turn 29, she'd spent her career writing about celebrities' lives and had forgotten how to live her own. Unemployed and full of self-doubt, she had no idea what she wanted out of life. She feared change - in fact, she feared almost everything. Once confident and ambitious, she had become crippled by anxiety, lacking the courage required even to attend a dinner party - until inspiration struck one day in the form of a quote on a chalkboard in a coffee shop.
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Right on time!
- By Leah on 02-19-18
By: Noelle Hancock
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30 Before 30
- How I Made a Mess of 20s, and You Can Too
- By: Marina Shifrin
- Narrated by: Marina Shifrin
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Something was nagging Marina Shifrin. As a freshly minted adult with student loan payments and a “real” job she hated that paid her enough to get by if she also worked two other jobs, something needed to change. Marina and her friend each made lists of 30 things they’d do before the age of 30. The first thing on Marina’s list was, “Quit My Shitty Job”. So she did, and just like that the List powered her through her twenties. Told with humor and heart, 30 Before 30 will entertain, motivate, and challenge listeners to get out of their comfort zones and live their best lives.
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Inspiring read
- By Chris Gledhill on 12-18-18
By: Marina Shifrin
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Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
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Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
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Dear Cary
- My Life with Cary Grant
- By: Dyan Cannon
- Narrated by: Dyan Cannon
- Length: 10 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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With unparalleled honesty, Dyan Cannon shares the heartwarming and heartbreaking story of her magical romance and stormy marriage to screen legend Cary Grant.He was the ultimate star, defining Hollywood glamour as well as cinematic achievement. She was a bright new actress, beautiful and funny, who would one day prove her talent by being the first woman to receive Academy Award nominations for her work on-screen and behind the camera. When he asked to meet Dyan, she assumed it was for an acting part, but he had a different role in mind for her....
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A Wasted 10 Hours
- By NANCAN on 10-19-12
By: Dyan Cannon
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In the Country We Love
- My Family Divided
- By: Diane Guerrero, Michelle Burford
- Narrated by: Diane Guerrero
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Diane Guerrero, the television actress from the megahit Orange Is the New Black and Jane the Virgin, was just 14 years old on the day her parents were detained and deported while she was at school. Born in the US, Guerrero was able to remain in the country and continue her education, depending on the kindness of family friends who took her in and helped her build a life and a successful acting career for herself, without the support system of her family.
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Moves very slowly
- By Laura S. on 07-23-16
By: Diane Guerrero, and others
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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Size Matters Not
- The Extraordinary Life and Career of Warwick Davis
- By: Warwick Davis
- Narrated by: Gideon Emery
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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You may not recognize my name-or my face for that matter-but it's very likely you've seen me at work. I've managed to cram quite a bit into my thirty-year acting career. In fact I've helped put more bums on cinema seats than Will Smith or Tom Hanks. Who else can say that they've helped destroy a Death Star? Defeated an evil sorceress? Taught magic to Harry Potter? Become a Jedi Master? Reluctantly hitchhiked across the galaxy in search of the answer to the Ultimate Question?
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Sincere and heart-warming
- By Alice on 10-04-15
By: Warwick Davis
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Diary of a Stage Mother's Daughter
- By: Melissa Francis
- Narrated by: Cris Dukehart
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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When Melissa Francis was eight years old, she won the role of lifetime: playing Cassandra Cooper Ingalls, the little girl who was adopted with her brother (played by young Jason Bateman) by the Ingalls family on the world’s most famous prime-time soap opera, Little House on the Prairie. But behind the scenes, her success was fueled by the pride, pressure, and sometimes grinding cruelty of her stage mother.
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Awesome book - really enjoyed it.
- By Jane C. Bailey on 11-16-12
By: Melissa Francis
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What listeners say about My Squirrel Days
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Christopher
- 04-30-21
Enjoyable
I was hoping there'd be more about Kimmy Schmidt but fortunately real life Ellie is Kimmy so that was nice.
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- Holly R
- 01-17-21
Helped me through the sudden death of my dad
This review is more of a “thank you” to Ms Kemper. I had lost my dad suddenly in May of 2018. Nights were longer, days were darker, and life was generally sadder. I needed SOMETHING to lift my spirits. And that “something” needed to be personal and non-intruding.
I’ve always loved Ellie’s characters. Kimmy Schmidt is, obviously, more uplifting than most other characters by nature of the story. To read the back story as well as Ms. Kemper’s autobiography was something that brought me out of my own sadness at the time it was released. The audible version , read by Ms Kemper, is just plain perfect.
I laughed ugly, as I believe the author intended. I just wish it was longer. I hope Ms Kemper writes another book soon as we could all use some time away from the reality of the life we now live.
My best review is simple: Thank you Ellie Kemper.
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- Laura
- 01-25-19
Loved listening to this nutty gem
Ellie is hilarious in this ( and in everything she preforms) and I hope she writes more! Great storytelling and humor mixed together. Wish it was longer!!
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- I Make Stuff
- 07-19-19
I'm a fan!
I listened to this because I am a fan of the Office and I am also a fan of squirrels. Now that I have completed the book, I am very much a fan of Ellie Kemper! She is a genuine Midwestern girl (I can relate) and her outlook on the Hollywood experience is fresh and delightful. Its weird, I finished this book feeling the way her parents must feel, just really proud of her!
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- Hoky Blaster16
- 02-16-20
fun and entertaining time!
It is always great to heat the author reading their own material. Even better when it is someone as funny and entertaining as Ms. Kemper!
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1 person found this helpful
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- johnz1213
- 01-07-20
Ellie Kemper's true self
Struggled to finish, but my personal fandom for Ellie carried me through. The book drags, until she acknowledges Bridesmaids. I'm glad the topic came up when it did, otherwise I would have stopped.
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Overall
- Angieb
- 02-07-19
funny
easy listen, didnt need to follow closely. not alot of substance but ellie kuemper makes everything funny.
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- Max C Taintor
- 11-06-18
Sorry...
I was looking forward to this audio book for months. I’m a huge fan of Kemper from the Office and especially Kimmy Schmidt. With that said, I found the book to be pretty boring. I guess I’m looking for something more genuine. While I’m sure it was - I just felt like she was holding back. Stories she told from her youth were the vast majority of the book and uninteresting to me. With that said I’m still a fan of the actress - I just didn’t like the book very much.
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22 people found this helpful
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- Alex
- 05-25-19
Several LOL moments!!!!
This is a very funny book. Loved Kimmy Schmidt, AND Ellie Kemper! Had several LOL moments
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- Richard Sullivan
- 12-22-18
Really funny and good listen
not sure it is a book as much as a handful of mono-logs. but really good listen
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