Neanderthal Opens the Door to the Universe
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Narrated by:
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Christopher Carley
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By:
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Preston Norton
About this listen
Perfect for fans of John Green and Becky Albertalli, Neanderthal Opens the Door to the Universe is a "sneakily thought-provoking" and "utterly unforgettable" must-listen for every fan of contemporary YA.
Cliff Hubbard is a huge loser. Literally. His nickname at Happy Valley High School is Neanderthal because he's so enormous - 6'6" and 250 pounds to be exact. He has nobody at school, and life in his trailer-park home has gone from bad to worse ever since his older brother's suicide. There's no one Cliff hates more than the nauseatingly cool quarterback Aaron Zimmerman. Then Aaron returns to school after a near-death experience with a bizarre claim: while he was unconscious he saw God, who gave him a list of things to do to make Happy Valley High suck less. And God said there's only one person who can help: Neanderthal. To his own surprise, Cliff says he's in.
As he and Aaron make their way through the List, which involves a vindictive English teacher, a mysterious computer hacker, a decidedly unchristian cult of Jesus Teens, the local drug dealers, and the meanest bully at HVHS, Cliff feels like he's part of something for the first time since losing his brother. But fixing a broken school isn't as simple as it seems, and just when Cliff thinks they've completed the List, he realizes their mission hits closer to home than he ever imagined.
Razor sharp, moving, and outrageously funny, Neanderthal Opens the Door to the Universe is an unforgettable story of finding your place in an imperfect world.
©2018 Preston Norton (P)2019 Recorded BooksListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
To survive where I live, you have two options. You can be a Normal - a cheerleader, jock, member of the debate team, or on the yearbook committee. You pretend everything is normal. Or you can be crew. You insult us? We hurt you. You hurt us? We really hurt you. And if you f--k with us, we will end you. My name is Bren. I'm the only female in the Wolf Crew - the best, fiercest, and most dangerous crew there is - and we have a rule: There's no falling in love. Well...too late.
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I tried to like it
- By Roxann Garcia on 11-16-18
By: Tijan
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Be More Chill
- By: Ned Vizzini
- Narrated by: Ramon de Ocampo
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Jeremy Heere is your average high school dork. Day after day, he stares at beautiful Christine, the girl he can never have, and dryly notes the small humiliations that come his way. Until the day he learns about the "squip." A pill-sized supercomputer that you swallow, the squip is guaranteed to bring you whatever you most desire in life. By instructing him on everything from what to wear, to how to talk and walk, the squip transforms Jeremy from geek to the coolest guy in class. But Jeremy discovers that there is a dark side to handing over control of your life....
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I f you’re looking for anything similar to the musical, skip it.
- By Destry on 09-23-19
By: Ned Vizzini
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Cruel Prince
- Royal Hearts Academy, Book 1
- By: Ashley Jade
- Narrated by: Teddy Hamilton, Lila Winters
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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I never thought I'd step foot in Royal Manor again. But four years later, here I am...back to finish my senior year at Royal Hearts Academy. And forced to face Jace Covington. My first friend. First crush. First kiss. The one I left behind. Only - he isn't the same boy I gave my heart to. This new Jace is as cruel as he is gorgeous. And he's determined to make my life a living hell. Along with the rest of his glorified family and crew of tyrants. They expect me to worship the ground they walk on like everyone else, but I'd rather eat dirt.
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First time for this author and am well pleased
- By C. Y. on 07-07-20
By: Ashley Jade
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Will Grayson, Will Grayson
- By: John Green, David Levithan
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews, Nick Podehl
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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One cold night, in a most unlikely corner of Chicago, Will Grayson crosses paths with...Will Grayson. Two teens with the same name, running in two very different circles, suddenly find their lives going in new and unexpected directions, and culminating in epic turns-of-heart and the most fabulous musical ever to grace the high school stage.
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Fun fast witty
- By Jody Ann Dagg on 09-16-24
By: John Green, and others
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She's with Me
- With Me, Book 1
- By: Jessica Cunsolo
- Narrated by: Sarah McEwan
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Arriving in another new town, Amelia Collins vows to fit in and finish her senior year drama free. There can’t be any mistakes. Staying under the radar is what keeps Amelia one step ahead of the man who is trying to find and destroy her. But when she’s befriended by a group of students who make her feel safe and loved, Amelia struggles to maintain her distance, especially when faced with her feelings for Aiden Parker, whose piercing gray eyes and strength weaken her resolve.
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LOVED it, but too much swearing
- By Jarom Johnston on 08-14-22
By: Jessica Cunsolo
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The Voting Booth
- By: Brandy Colbert
- Narrated by: Robin Eller, Cary Hite
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Marva Sheridan was born ready for this day. She's always been driven to make a difference in the world, and what better way than to vote in her first election? Duke Crenshaw is so done with this election. He just wants to get voting over with so he can prepare for his band's first paying gig tonight. Only problem? Duke can't vote. When Marva sees Duke turned away from their polling place, she takes it upon herself to make sure his vote is counted. She hasn't spent months doorbelling and registering voters just to see someone denied their right.
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I vote yes for the Voting Booth!
- By Nikia Marie on 07-13-20
By: Brandy Colbert
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The Whole Package
- Movin' On Series, Book 1
- By: Marie Harte
- Narrated by: Emily Beresford
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Always the caretaker, former Marine Reid Griffith wants to help his brother adjust to civilian life...and help other former servicemen too. What better way to utilize their brawn, discipline, and charm than by employing them at a moving company that hires veterans? Although Reid prides himself on being strategic, he certainly doesn't plan to fall into the spotlight of one brilliant - and beautiful - public-relations whiz...
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Narrator was awful
- By Raylynn Lee on 02-21-20
By: Marie Harte
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High Achiever
- The Incredible True Story of One Addict's Double Life
- By: Tiffany Jenkins
- Narrated by: Tiffany Jenkins
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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With heart-racing urgency and unflinching honesty, Jenkins takes you inside the grips of addiction and the desperate decisions it breeds. She is a born storyteller who lived an incredible story, from blackmail by an ex-boyfriend to a soul-shattering deal with a drug dealer, and her telling brims with suspense and unexpected wit. But the true surprise is her path to recovery. Tiffany breaks through the stigma and silence to offer hope and inspiration to anyone battling the disease - whether it’s a loved one or themselves.
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I Get it, You Were an Addict
- By Jim Thompson on 10-16-19
By: Tiffany Jenkins
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The Lost Causes of Bleak Creek
- By: Rhett McLaughlin, Link Neal
- Narrated by: Vikas Adam
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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At first, high school freshmen Rex McClendon and Leif Nelson believe what they’ve been told - that local students’ strange demises at Whitewood, a local reformatory, were all tragic accidents. But when the shoot for their low-budget horror masterpiece, PolterDog, goes horribly awry - and their best friend, Alicia Boykins, is sent to Whitewood - Rex and Leif are forced to question everything they know about their unassuming hometown and its cherished school for delinquents.
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Does it hold up beyond the R&L fandom?
- By BrettM on 12-01-19
By: Rhett McLaughlin, and others
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Layoverland
- By: Gabby Noone
- Narrated by: Sophie Amoss
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Beatrice Fox deserves to go straight to hell. At least, that's what she believes. Her last day on Earth, she ruined the life of the person she loves most - her little sister, Emmy. So when Bea awakens from a fatal car accident to find herself on an airplane headed who knows where, she's confused, to say the least. Upon landing, Bea receives some truly harrowing news: She's in purgatory. If she ever wants to catch a flight to heaven, she'll have to help 5,000 souls figure out what's keeping them from moving on. But one of her first assignments is Caleb, the boy who caused her accident.
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This going to be a HIT!
- By Amber C on 02-06-20
By: Gabby Noone
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Point B
- A Teleportation Love Story
- By: Drew Magary
- Narrated by: Rebecca Soler
- Length: 15 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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When the corporate monolith PortSys brought porting to the masses, CEO Emilia Kirsch and her son, Jason, accomplished what every other start-up company had failed to deliver. They really did change the world. They reversed climate change. They created a multitrillion-dollar industry out of thin air, curing economic woes across the globe. They made it so that anyone could be anywhere simply by touching a screen...including the man who murdered Sarah Huff. Now, Sarah’s 17-year-old sister, Anna, is determined to hunt the bastard down. But there are a few problems.
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Sherry Potter’s only got one spell: portkey
- By aaron gilbert on 11-02-20
By: Drew Magary
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Daddy Biker Bear
- Bears of Forest Heights, Book 1
- By: Roxie Ray
- Narrated by: Sierra Kline, Gregory Kellen
- Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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I was young and naive when I fell hard for bad boy Grizz, a shifter who was hot enough to melt my good girl heart. Big mistake. Because when good girls are naughty, they end up pregnant. Now I’m back in Forest Heights to care for my aunt with my son Rainer — the son I’ve been raising on my own for nine years because gruff, tough Grizz didn’t believe our baby was possible.
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Uhhh.. nope
- By KHave on 02-27-22
By: Roxie Ray
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Kiss and Break Up
- By: Ella Fields
- Narrated by: Kathryn Lynhurst, Brandon Utah
- Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Dashiell Thane wasn’t a nice guy. He was an abrasive, demanding, conniving, intolerable brat. Yet somehow, we’d been best friends our whole lives - until our senior year when I finally decided to dip my toes into the dating pool. All it took was one kiss for jealousy, lies, and betrayal to sweep in and propel us heart first into dizzying, hostile depths. You’re not supposed to kiss your best friend. You’re definitely not supposed to kiss your best friend while you’re dating someone else.
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Needed something more...
- By Gabriel on 09-09-19
By: Ella Fields
What listeners say about Neanderthal Opens the Door to the Universe
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Kindle Customer
- 01-16-23
BEST BOOK EVER
Gets me every time - every single time I cry and I have listened to it like 10 times- so worth it
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