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Not Your Mother's Rules

By: Ellen Fein, Sherrie Schneider
Narrated by: Ellen Fein, Sherrie Schneider
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Publisher's summary

How long should I wait to respond to his text message? Can I friend him on Facebook? Why did he ask for my number but never call me? /p>

When The Rules was published in 1995, its message was straightforward: be mysterious. But for women looking for love today, it's not quite so simple. In a world of instant messaging, location check-ins, and status updates, where hook-ups have become the norm and formal one-on-one dates seem a thing of the past, it's difficult to retain the air of mystery that keeps men interested.

Now, with help from their daughters, the original Rules Girls, Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, share their thoroughly modern, fresh take on dating that will help women in today's information age create the happy love lives they want and deserve. Whether you're a 20-something dating for the first time, a 30-something tired of being single, a 40-something giving advice to your daughter, or a 50-something getting back in the dating game, this book has the answers you've been waiting for.

The new Rules include:

  • Stay away from his Facebook profile
  • Make yourself invisible and other ways to get out of instant messaging
  • Stop dating a guy who cancels more than once
  • Text-back times chart
  • Don't just hang out or see him 24/7
  • TTYL: Always end everything first - get out of there!
  • And much, much more!

Providing the dos and don'ts you need to stop making mistakes and start finding romance, Not Your Mother's Rules will revolutionize dating today just as The Rules did nearly 20 years ago!

©2013 Ellen Fein, Sherrie Schneider (P)2013 Hachette Audio
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What listeners say about Not Your Mother's Rules

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Updated revision from the original

I read the original The Rules in college 27 years ago and it worked (married for 25 years) so I listened to the newest version to help my teen daughter navigate the dating world. I appreciated how they incorporated their own daughters for more updated rules for the younger generation (example over 30 years old wait longer to respond to a text than a twenty year old). They stand by their original method of playing hard to get but easy to be with once the guy got you, just adapted it to a modern world full of technology.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Yeah, it's still my mother's rules

There really isn't anything new here. The authors, Fein and Schneider, have written several books that all say the same thing: Don't be too easy. Men will treat you like a free hooker if you treat yourself like a free hooker. It's a tough message for both young women today, the primary target audience of this book, as well as older, professional women who are used to going after what they want and not waiting for a man to make all the moves. But that's the message, and it is uncomfortable, irritating, and true with some men. There is no research support for their frequent anecdotes, but there is a great deal of marketing for their rules-dating consultation business. Lastly, relating to the audio version of this book, what were they thinking bringing their daughters in to read? The authors' reading was tolerable enough, perhaps 3 stars. One daughter was only young and unprofessional. But the other daughter was incapable of enunciating clearly. It was horrible, waiting for her little reading to end so my torment could also end. Her reading is a glaring statement against the dangers of nepotism. However, with all my criticisms, which are sincere, I still will make sure my daughter reads this book before going to college. Many young men will not give young women respect; they must demand it. That is the strongest, best message of the book.

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12 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

I recommend to every girl

Absolutely the best book out there, im 23 and just started doing the rules and it really works!!

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Good content but SHOCKING audio

As much as I wish the content was just some kooky 50’s housewife fever dream - it actually makes a lot of sense. Oof. I found myself literally facepalming because of all the things I’ve so clearly missed the mark on in my dating approach.

I had a couple “aha” moments and it helped me understand why guys I’ve been super into have gotten scared away, while guys I didn’t even notice were super into me.

BUT - the audio was just painful. One of the narrators is basically Lois from Family Guy, and the “daughters” voice is so bad I though it was a joke at first. Think - someone who could easily be cast as the annoying, whiny, ridiculous pre-pubescent valley girl sister of Cher from Clueless. And the daughter’s input was silly, superfluous, and obvious. “Who even calls these days anyways?” (Read that in a high-frequency whine).

All that said - I (reluctantly) still got something out of it

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Timeless advice! What a great book!

This book is for women of all ages, who are serious about dating successfully. The book provides clear guidelines around dating in today's world of technology.

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Common sense that's not so common.

This book is full of logical and practical advice. It comes across a bit harsh, but if you listen and understand the reasons behind the actions, it makes perfect sense. So many women I know (myself included) have wasted so much time and heartache. Setting proper boundaries and respecting ourselves, our time and our lives first is a must! The narration is just okay and the "daughters" voice was quite annoying. Still a "must read" for every teenage girl or newly single woman!

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1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

The only book you will need

Where does Not Your Mother's Rules rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

Thank you for all your helpful guidance, much appreciated!

I especially enjoy the audio books

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Good primer for self preservation

Great for women who keep getting hurt over and over again but not great for attracting a HEALTHY, SECURE relationship. My takeaway: don’t try too hard to impress a man, name the babies on the second date, and have your own life (hobbies, friends, job, don’t move for a guy or see him all the time). But if you rigidly follow “the rules” you will likely find yourself in “relationship” with an avoidant man and unable to be your affectionate self lest you “scare him off”. I was unsatisfied with the men I attracted doing “the rules”. It was still a helpful bridge step from that sad, hurt woman I was in my early 20s.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Much needed update!

I’ve listened to this a dozen times. Very informative and enjoyable. Love that they bring their daughters into the narrative as well.

Ladies - now its time to update the Audible versions of your first two books!

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4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Sound Advice

If you follow these rules on a guy you like the chances of success are much higher than doing it on your own. I observed men who think I'm "mean" vs. those who think I'm nice... Mean = rules. Rules relationships are waaaaay better than the "nice girl" relationships. Trust me, FOLLOW THE RULES!

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