
Marry Him
The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough
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Narrated by:
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Brittany Pressley
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By:
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Lori Gottlieb
About this listen
You have a fulfilling job, a great group of friends, the perfect apartment, and no shortage of dates. So what if you haven't found The One just yet. Surely he'll come along, right?
But what if he doesn't? Or even worse, what if he already has, but you just didn't realize it?
Suddenly finding herself 40 and single, Lori Gottlieb said the unthinkable in her March 2008 article in The Atlantic: Maybe she, and single women everywhere, needed to stop chasing the elusive Prince Charming and instead go for Mr. Good Enough.
Looking at her friends' happy marriages to good-enough guys who happen to be excellent husbands and fathers, Gottlieb declared it time to reevaluate what we really need in a partner. Her ideas created a firestorm of controversy from outlets like the Today show to The Washington Post, which wrote, "Given the perennial shortage of perfect men, Gottlieb's probably got a point", to Newsweek and NPR, which declared, "Lori Gottlieb didn't want to take her mother's advice to be less picky, but now that she's turned 40, she wonders if her mother is right." Women all over the world were talking. But while many people agreed that they should have more realistic expectations, what did that actually mean out in the real world, where Gottlieb and women like her were inexorably drawn to their "type"?
That's where Marry Him comes in.
By looking at everything from culture to biology, in Marry Him, Gottlieb frankly explores the dilemma that so many women today seem to face - how to reconcile the strong desire for a husband and family with a list of must-haves so long and complicated that many great guys get rejected out of the gate. Here Gottlieb shares her own journey in the quest for romantic fulfillment, and in the process gets wise guidance and surprising insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy - as well as single and married men and women, ranging in age from their 20s to their 60s.
Marry Him is an eye-opening, often funny, sometimes painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of the modern dating landscape, and ultimately, a provocative wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.
©2010 Lori Gottlieb (P)2021 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Marry Him is a frank and funny read, weaving real people's stories with Gottlieb's own experiences, and containing sharp examinations of how society and culture - everything from When Harry Met Sally to The Bachelor - come into play when modern women look for love." (The New York Observer)
"A provocative pop culture treatise...she encourages us to think through our own beliefs and unexamined assumptions." (The Chicago Tribune)
"Marry Him shows women how to find true happiness when seeking love - by giving them a new way to look at the world. Gottlieb manages to be hilarious yet thought-provoking, light-hearted yet profound on the questions of: Why do we fall in love? What qualities really matter in a marriage? For what reasons do we make the decisions that affect our whole lives? Like provocative relationship classics such as The Rules and He's Just Not That Into You, Marry Him will set people talking for years." (Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project)
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Your Difference Is Your Strength
- A Guide to Accepting Yourself -- for Anyone Who Has Ever Felt Out of Place
- By: Kris Ferraro
- Narrated by: Kris Ferraro
- Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Your Difference is Your Strength is a book for anyone and everyone who has ever felt out of place, misunderstood, or just...different. It’s the book for the kid who was too creative or too shy or too “weird” and who grew up into an adult who still isn’t quite sure where they fit in or if they even want to. It’s a book for you. In Your Difference is Your Strength, Kris Ferraro, author of Manifesting, invites the oddballs and underdogs of the world to stop hiding, minimizing, or disguising their differences and instead embrace them in a powerful new way.
By: Kris Ferraro
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That Sucked. Now What?
- How to Embrace the Joy in Chaos and Find Magic in the Mess
- By: Dr. Neeta Bhushan
- Narrated by: Dr. Neeta Bhushan
- Length: 10 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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You know those awful, terrible, sucker-punch moments in life? The ones that knock you down, burn you up, or make you cringe so hard you wish it was all a bad dream? Probably–because we all do. These epic, messy, oh-no-oh-crap moments of chaos are just part of life–yet, as Dr. Neeta Bhushan shows us, they're also beautiful opportunities for change.
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I finally have a permission to not be perfect!
- By Sokoleczka on 02-21-23
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Get the Guy
- Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve
- By: Matthew Hussey
- Narrated by: Matthew Hussey
- Length: 7 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Most dating books tell you what not to do. Here's a book dedicated to telling you what you can do. In his book, Get the Guy, Matthew Hussey - relationship expert, matchmaker, and star of the reality show Ready for Love - reveals the secrets of the male mind and the fundamentals of dating and mating for a proven, revolutionary approach to help women to find lasting love. Matthew Hussey has coached thousands of high-powered CEOs, showing them how to develop confidence and build relationships.
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Loved everything about this audiobook!
- By Margaret S. Wilson on 07-29-15
By: Matthew Hussey
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Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?
- By: Julie Smith
- Narrated by: Julie Smith
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Filled with secrets from a therapist's toolkit, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before teaches you how to fortify and maintain your mental health, even in the most trying of times. Dr Julie Smith’s expert advice and powerful coping techniques will help you stay resilient, whether you want to manage anxiety, deal with criticism, cope with depression, build self-confidence, find motivation, or learn to forgive yourself.
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Monotonous
- By John Olson on 02-28-22
By: Julie Smith
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The Book of Moods
- How I Turned My Worst Emotions Into My Best Life
- By: Lauren Martin
- Narrated by: Barrie Kreinik
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Five years ago, Lauren Martin was sure something was wrong with her. She had a good job in New York, an apartment in Brooklyn, a boyfriend, yet every day she wrestled with feelings of inferiority, anxiety and irritability. It wasn't until a chance encounter with a (charming, successful) stranger who revealed that she also felt these things, that Lauren set out to better understand the hold that these moods had on her, how she could change them, and began to blog about the wisdom she uncovered.
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A great book to remind you to not take life so seriously.
- By Shana Osborne on 02-23-21
By: Lauren Martin
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Tied Up in Knots
- How Getting What They Wanted Has Made Women Miserable
- By: Andrea Tantaros
- Narrated by: Andrea Tantaros
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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In this shocking, funny, and bluntly honest tour of today's gender discontents, Andrea Tantaros, one of Fox News' most popular and outspoken stars, exposes how the rightful feminist pursuit of equality went too far, and how the unintended pitfalls of that power trade have made women (and men!) miserable.
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Not What I Thought It Would Be
- By Kevin on 05-06-16
By: Andrea Tantaros
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Men Explain Things to Me
- By: Rebecca Solnit
- Narrated by: Luci Christian Bell
- Length: 2 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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In Men Explain Things to Me, Rebecca Solnit takes on the conversations between men who wrongly assume they know things and wrongly assume women don't. The ultimate problem, she shows in her comic, scathing essay, is female self-doubt and the silencing of women. Rebecca Solnit is the author of fourteen books about civil society, popular power, uprisings, art, environment, place, pleasure, politics, hope, and memory, most recently The Faraway Nearby, a book on empathy and storytelling.
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Great read - horrible performance
- By Denise Johnson on 03-26-15
By: Rebecca Solnit
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Stop Overthinking Your Relationship
- Break the Cycle of Anxious Rumination to Nurture Love, Trust, and Connection with Your Partner
- By: Alicia Muñoz LPC, Linda Carroll LMFT - foreword
- Narrated by: Victoria Villarreal
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Rumination—obsessive thinking about an idea, situation, or choice that can interfere with normal life—is a common and destructive issue that can negatively impact romantic relationships. You may feel anxious, worried, hopeless, and frustrated, but even if you know your overthinking is a problem, it can be seriously hard to stop. In Stop Overthinking Your Relationship, certified couples therapist Alicia Muñoz draws from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness to offer an effective, four-step approach to reduce rumination and change negative thinking patterns.
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Shedding light to my partner’s and my owns rumination cycles
- By joanne cruz on 07-12-23
By: Alicia Muñoz LPC, and others
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Love Is Not Enough
- By: Mark Manson
- Narrated by: Mark Manson
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Original Recording
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Best-selling author Mark Manson brings his signature no-nonsense wisdom back to the subject he started his career covering: relationships. Being with your partner may feel like rainbows and unicorns, but that doesn't mean you have a healthy, functioning relationship. Sure, we all need love...but love is not enough. In Love Is Not Enough, Mark’s first Audible Original, you’ll follow five real people over the course of six months as they navigate f--ked up romantic situations, ranging from dating app addiction to marital affairs to absurd fantasies.
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Mark Manson laughs at animal abuse
- By Jennifer L. Gasko on 05-10-20
By: Mark Manson
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Closer to Love
- How to Attract the Right Relationships and Deepen Your Connections
- By: Vex King
- Narrated by: Vex King
- Length: 9 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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It is nearly impossible to build healthy, sustainable bonds with others without first having a good relationship with yourself. To get along with others, we often alter our habits or subsume our unique personalities. By trying to transform or suppress our true selves, we erode our self-worth and self-knowledge. We begin to lose sight of who we really are and what we truly want. When are self-understanding and self-confidence are damaged, it ultimately hurts our relationships.
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If you’re in your journey of healing and self love, this book is 100% recommended.
- By Shanice on 06-16-23
By: Vex King
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8 Rules of Love
- How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go
- By: Jay Shetty
- Narrated by: Jay Shetty
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Instead of presenting love as an ethereal concept or a collection of cliches, Jay Shetty lays out specific, actionable steps to help you develop the skills to practice and nurture love better than ever before. He shares insights on how to win or lose together, how to define love, and why you don’t break in a break-up. Inspired by Vedic wisdom and modern science, he tackles the entire relationship cycle, from first dates to moving in together to breaking up and starting over. And he shows us how to avoid falling for false promises and unfulfilling partners.
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Audio quality is lacking:(
- By Robert Scarberry on 01-31-23
By: Jay Shetty
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Speak Easy: How to Be Articulate, Assertive, and Audacious Around People
- By: Armani Talks
- Narrated by: Daniel Cryer
- Length: 3 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Speak Easy is a framework to help anyone who is struggling with communication to learn the three A’s. They will learn how to be Articulate, Assertive, and Audacious when presenting their message and interacting with others. Eliminate hesitancy and build a voice full of power. In Speak Easy, you will learn: The traits that make up a confident communicator, how to use your thoughts, words, tonality, and body language effectively, strategies on how to develop an interesting personality, processes to create your own voice, ideas, and insights, and much more.
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decent book but it didn't provide the information
- By jr yeje on 01-28-23
By: Armani Talks
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Good Morning, Monster
- A Therapist Shares Five Heroic Stories of Emotional Recovery
- By: Catherine Gildiner
- Narrated by: Deborah Burgess
- Length: 13 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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In this fascinating narrative, therapist Catherine Gildiner presents five of what she calls her most heroic and memorable patients. Among them: A successful, first-generation Chinese immigrant musician suffering sexual dysfunction; a young woman whose father abandoned her at age nine with her younger siblings in an isolated cottage in the depth of winter; and a glamorous workaholic whose narcissistic, negligent mother greeted her each morning of her childhood with "Good morning, Monster". Each patient presents a mystery, one that will only be unpacked over years.
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some things shouldn't be consumed
- By Jess on 12-28-22
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Act like a Lady, Think like a Man
- What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment
- By: Steve Harvey
- Narrated by: Mike Hodge
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Steve Harvey can't count the number of impressive women he's met over the years - the many incredible women who can run a business, have three kids, maintain a household in tiptop shape, and chair a church group all at the same time. So when it comes to relationships, why can't these same women figure out what makes men commit? According to Steve, it's because they're asking other women for advice when they should be going directly to the source.
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Worth a listen
- By Virginia V. on 07-24-16
By: Steve Harvey
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The Wisdom of the Pussy
- From Frustration to Fulfillment—A Woman’s Guide to Dating and Relationship Success
- By: Kara King
- Narrated by: Romy Nordlinger
- Length: 5 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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The black cat girlfriend, golden retriever boyfriend theory about relationships, dating, and marriage is a hot topic in the world of dating advice. It leaves many women wondering how to develop the attributes of the black cat girlfriend. This feminine/feline mentality has been the foundation of Kara King’s controversial dating and relationship advice books for over a decade. In her book, The Wisdom of the Pussy, King covers a variety of topics focused exclusively on developing the mindset of what many now refer to as being the black cat.
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Love this book
- By Mayra on 10-06-20
By: Kara King
What listeners say about Marry Him
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- Rachael Little
- 02-25-23
Stop being so concrete
I never write reviews. But the polarized nature of the reviews here lead to me believe that Lori Gottlieb is onto something. Look, if you’re not interested in getting married or in a long term relationship, then don’t read this book. But if you are, then these ideas are worth considering. Because what Lori is essentially saying is “Hi, it’s me, I’m the problem it’s me”, just like T Swift says. This is an age-old and important notion, that we can’t change other people but we can change ourselves. This book is in no way anti-feminist. In fact, isn’t being a true feminist supporting whatever path women want to take? Wanting a husband or life partner is not anti-feminist, not supporting women who do want that is anti-feminist. See my first point- if you have zero interest in getting married or don’t believe in marriage don’t bother with this book. If you want to be in a poly relationship, don’t bother with this book, although I do believe the ideas presented transcend more than just as applied to marriage. Instead, if you can think critically for a second and stop being so concrete, the overall message is “figure out what your values are and go after that” and by values I mean the stuff that really matters, not if a partner has a perfect haircut or a flashy job. Because shared values, not shared interests, are what actually make for a good marriage or long term relationship.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Ceci
- 11-21-22
Engaging narration, lacking diversity
The narrator did a great job of bringing the characters to life. However, the material and subjects used to gather the range of stories fell short in ethnic diversity.
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2 people found this helpful
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- kristen Campanaro
- 12-18-22
great advice
being 41 and never married I found this book to be extremely helpful and insightful. I plan to take a lot of the things I learned from it and use in my real dating life. wish me luck
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1 person found this helpful
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- Daniel
- 08-22-21
Enjoyable for guys too!
This book is very much written for women, but as a guy I found it incredibly insightful. Well written, well researched, and with a great narrator. Potentially life changing information to the right audience.
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1 person found this helpful
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- raekwon henderson
- 11-08-21
Good storytelling
As a guy, listening to this book was very eye opening!A perspective I never thought of before.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jalissa M
- 05-11-23
Must read for any marriage minded woman
This book was an absolute must read for any woman that is over the age of 24, any woman that desires marriage, any woman that is dating. So necessary and I can honestly say it saved my relationship.
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- Nicole M. Blanchard
- 10-15-23
I guess I’m the perfect demographic.
I am a 34yo single female. In theory, the perfect demo for this book. The concept makes sense. Women who are single over 30 should read this book. It gives perspective to what you should / should not expect when dating. I gave this book a low rating. Not only is it very dated at this point, it just simply was not enjoyable for me. The concept is not incorrect, I just didn’t love the story.
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Great examples for all ages and dating styles
Whether you’re dating or married, this book is for you!! I love the overall idea that people need to look for “companions “ in spouses not flings/ or ideals!!! We tend to create in our minds the ideal partner and we may even hold off on having amazing relationships because of our prejudices!! Guys too are guilty of this. And this is why I LOvE Pride and Prejudice!! We have to get over certain things and truly get to know people / give them a second and possible 3rd date. It doesn’t take long- but if you cut them off at the first date like I was going to do- I wouldn’t have the life I have with my partner of 21 years. Heck- we HAVE to date to keep connected our lives are so busy!!!!!
Hope it helps you! It’s worth it!
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- Erica Carter
- 01-24-23
AMAZING!
Such an eye opener with a reflective and honest perspective! Thoroughly enjoyed every aspect and every angle! Made me swallow a get real pill!
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- Ashley James
- 12-04-22
Exceptional and Truly Helpful
This book really gave me realistic prospective on dating and helped me outline traits that are truly important and weed through the superficial ones we are taught are important in modern day society. I will be recommending this book to all my female friends as I think this will help them as much as it’s helped me
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