Marry Him
The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough
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Narrated by:
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Brittany Pressley
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By:
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Lori Gottlieb
About this listen
You have a fulfilling job, a great group of friends, the perfect apartment, and no shortage of dates. So what if you haven't found The One just yet. Surely he'll come along, right?
But what if he doesn't? Or even worse, what if he already has, but you just didn't realize it?
Suddenly finding herself 40 and single, Lori Gottlieb said the unthinkable in her March 2008 article in The Atlantic: Maybe she, and single women everywhere, needed to stop chasing the elusive Prince Charming and instead go for Mr. Good Enough.
Looking at her friends' happy marriages to good-enough guys who happen to be excellent husbands and fathers, Gottlieb declared it time to reevaluate what we really need in a partner. Her ideas created a firestorm of controversy from outlets like the Today show to The Washington Post, which wrote, "Given the perennial shortage of perfect men, Gottlieb's probably got a point", to Newsweek and NPR, which declared, "Lori Gottlieb didn't want to take her mother's advice to be less picky, but now that she's turned 40, she wonders if her mother is right." Women all over the world were talking. But while many people agreed that they should have more realistic expectations, what did that actually mean out in the real world, where Gottlieb and women like her were inexorably drawn to their "type"?
That's where Marry Him comes in.
By looking at everything from culture to biology, in Marry Him, Gottlieb frankly explores the dilemma that so many women today seem to face - how to reconcile the strong desire for a husband and family with a list of must-haves so long and complicated that many great guys get rejected out of the gate. Here Gottlieb shares her own journey in the quest for romantic fulfillment, and in the process gets wise guidance and surprising insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy - as well as single and married men and women, ranging in age from their 20s to their 60s.
Marry Him is an eye-opening, often funny, sometimes painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of the modern dating landscape, and ultimately, a provocative wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.
©2010 Lori Gottlieb (P)2021 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Marry Him is a frank and funny read, weaving real people's stories with Gottlieb's own experiences, and containing sharp examinations of how society and culture - everything from When Harry Met Sally to The Bachelor - come into play when modern women look for love." (The New York Observer)
"A provocative pop culture treatise...she encourages us to think through our own beliefs and unexamined assumptions." (The Chicago Tribune)
"Marry Him shows women how to find true happiness when seeking love - by giving them a new way to look at the world. Gottlieb manages to be hilarious yet thought-provoking, light-hearted yet profound on the questions of: Why do we fall in love? What qualities really matter in a marriage? For what reasons do we make the decisions that affect our whole lives? Like provocative relationship classics such as The Rules and He's Just Not That Into You, Marry Him will set people talking for years." (Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project)
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How to Not Die Alone
- The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love
- By: Logan Ury
- Narrated by: Logan Ury
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Have you ever looked around and wondered, “Why has everyone found love except me?” You’re not the only one. Great relationships don’t just appear in our lives - they’re the culmination of a series of decisions, including whom to date, how to end it with the wrong person, and when to commit to the right one. But our brains often get in the way. We make poor decisions, which thwart us on our quest to find lasting love.
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Not a good buy
- By Brandon Prescott on 02-10-21
By: Logan Ury
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Imperfect Courage
- Live a Life of Purpose by Leaving Comfort and Going Scared
- By: Jessica Honegger
- Narrated by: Jessica Honegger
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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In 2015, Inc. magazine recognized Noonday Collection as one of the fastest-growing companies in America. Years earlier, as Jessica Honegger stood at a pawn-shop counter in Austin, Texas, and handed over her grandmother's gold jewelry, her goal was personal: to fund the adoption of her Rwandan son by selling artisan-made jewelry. This first step launched an unexpected side-hustle that would grow into Noonday Collection. She teamed up with her first artisan partner, Jalia, a Ugandan jewelry maker and saw the meaningful impact Noonday brought to Jalia's community.
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Too Church for me
- By Just a mom on 03-31-19
By: Jessica Honegger
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Bitch Up! Expect More, Get More
- A Woman's Guide to Maintaining Her Power and Sanity After a Breakup
- By: Leslie Braswell
- Narrated by: Brittany Goodwin
- Length: 3 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Unpretentious, upfront advice for perpetual man-pleasers who want to stop repeating the same mistakes over and over but don't know how. Have you ever cried, begged, and bargained for a man to take you back after a breakup? Have you been called the crazy ex? Have you ever had a breakdown after a breakup? If so, Bitch Up! Expect More, Get More is a must-listen to help you through a breakup to get you ready for a future relationship better than you could ever imagine.
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Misleading title- Do not waste your time reading
- By AE on 07-13-21
By: Leslie Braswell
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Never Get Ghosted Again
- 15 Reasons Why Men Lose Interest and How to Avoid Guys Who Can't Commit
- By: Bruce Bryans
- Narrated by: Dan Culhane
- Length: 3 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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No woman can change the reality that any man, no matter how interested or invested he may first appear, can potentially pull away and lose interest in her at some point. Although this is the reality, a woman can, in fact, change the way she deals with such situations. While you might not be able to control a man's behavior, you can control your own. Being in control of your emotions, especially when a man's behavior threatens your future with him, will make it easier for you to influence his heart and make him see you as an irreplaceable, high-value woman.
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A Woman’s Perspective
- By Shopper on 05-24-21
By: Bruce Bryans
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How to Get a Meeting with Anyone
- The Untapped Selling Power of Contact Marketing
- By: Stu Heinecke, Jay Conrad Levinson - foreword
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 8 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Hall of fame-nominated marketer and Wall Street Journal cartoonist Stu Heinecke discovered that he could get past traditional gatekeepers and reach those elusive executives by thinking outside the box and using personalized approaches that he calls "contact campaigns". Including presidents, a prime minister, celebrities, countless CEOs, and even the Danish model who later became his wife, Heinecke found that getting meetings with previously unreachable people was easier than ever.
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Full of fillers. Can be summarized in 5 min.
- By shani on 04-11-17
By: Stu Heinecke, and others
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Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl
- By: Natalie Lue
- Narrated by: Lucy Price-Lewis
- Length: 10 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you the Fallback Girl? If you've ever found yourself in a relationship that feels and seemingly looks like one, but you're struggling with commitment, or you've been in the ambiguous territory of a "casual relationship", you've likely tried to change them, wondered what you did to cause this, what you can do to win their love and commitment, or even whether you're going crazy.
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An unavailable, fall back's girl momentary realizations verbalized
- By Rina on 08-15-15
By: Natalie Lue
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Philosophy and Life
- Exploring the Great Questions of How to Live
- By: A. C. Grayling
- Narrated by: Justin Avoth
- Length: 14 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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From Stoics to existentialists, in philosophy and literature, discussion of the philosophy of life—of love and death, of courage, fortitude and wisdom—challenges us all to think about what kinds of life are truly worth living. In this summation of a lifetime thinking and writing about this great question, A. C. Grayling explores with clarity and depth the ideas that each of us must use in answering it for ourselves.
By: A. C. Grayling
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Lifelines
- A Doctor's Journey in the Fight for Public Health
- By: Dr. Leana Wen
- Narrated by: Dr. Leana Wen
- Length: 11 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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From medical expert Leana Wen, MD, Lifelines is an insider's account of public health and its crucial role - from opioid addiction to global pandemic - and an inspiring story of her journey from struggling immigrant to being one of Time’s 100 Most Influential People.
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Combination early memoir and career story.
- By Marian on 06-18-24
By: Dr. Leana Wen
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Are You Scaring Him Away?
- The Top 4 Reasons Why Men Lose Interest Quickly
- By: Brian Nox
- Narrated by: Jerod McBrayer
- Length: 1 hr and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Most women are very surprised when a man becomes distant, when he's afraid to commit, or, worse, when he just stops calling and runs away. It’s time to use the secrets of the male mind, and learn about men and what scares them away.
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Just be your best partner!
- By Hazel on 01-04-19
By: Brian Nox
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Becoming Myself
- A Psychiatrist's Memoir
- By: Irvin D. Yalom
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 11 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Irvin D. Yalom has made a career of investigating the lives of others. In this profound memoir, he turns his writing and his therapeutic eye on himself. He opens his story with a nightmare: He is 12 and is riding his bike past the home of an acne-scarred girl. Like every morning, he calls out, hoping to befriend her, "Hello Measles!" But in his dream, the girl's father makes Yalom understand that his daily greeting had hurt her. For Yalom, this was the birth of empathy; he would not forget the lesson.
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Unrevealing
- By Lynn Labe on 06-16-19
By: Irvin D. Yalom
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Stop Overthinking Your Relationship
- Break the Cycle of Anxious Rumination to Nurture Love, Trust, and Connection with Your Partner
- By: Alicia Muñoz LPC, Linda Carroll LMFT - foreword
- Narrated by: Victoria Villarreal
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Rumination—obsessive thinking about an idea, situation, or choice that can interfere with normal life—is a common and destructive issue that can negatively impact romantic relationships. You may feel anxious, worried, hopeless, and frustrated, but even if you know your overthinking is a problem, it can be seriously hard to stop. In Stop Overthinking Your Relationship, certified couples therapist Alicia Muñoz draws from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness to offer an effective, four-step approach to reduce rumination and change negative thinking patterns.
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Shedding light to my partner’s and my owns rumination cycles
- By joanne cruz on 07-12-23
By: Alicia Muñoz LPC, and others
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The Deadline Effect
- How to Work Like It's the Last Minute - Before the Last Minute
- By: Christopher Cox
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Perfectionists and procrastinators alike agree - it’s natural to dread a deadline. Whether you are completing a masterpiece or just checking off an overwhelming to-do list, the ticking clock signals despair. Christopher Cox knows the panic of the looming deadline all too well - as a magazine editor, he has spent years overseeing writers and journalists who couldn’t meet a deadline to save their lives. After putting in a few too many late nights in the newsroom, he became determined to learn the secret of managing deadlines.
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Good story but totally non sequitur
- By Carlos on 07-16-21
By: Christopher Cox
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She Minds Her Own Business
- Design a Life and Business You Love
- By: Krystel Stacey
- Narrated by: Jill Young
- Length: 3 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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"She" is an entrepreneur who pursued her goals, designed her life, and loved every inch of it. She wasn’t worried about what “they” were doing or how they defined success. She didn’t listen to what they had to say, because she wasn’t doing it for “them”. She set her own standards and priorities. She pursued her goals and lived life to its fullest potential. She kept her head in the clouds and her feet on the ground. She stayed focused on the joie de vivre, celebrating the joy of life with each and every tiny victory.
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Easy Listen
- By Ilona C on 01-25-24
By: Krystel Stacey
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Get the Guy
- Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve
- By: Matthew Hussey
- Narrated by: Matthew Hussey
- Length: 7 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Most dating books tell you what not to do. Here's a book dedicated to telling you what you can do. In his book, Get the Guy, Matthew Hussey - relationship expert, matchmaker, and star of the reality show Ready for Love - reveals the secrets of the male mind and the fundamentals of dating and mating for a proven, revolutionary approach to help women to find lasting love. Matthew Hussey has coached thousands of high-powered CEOs, showing them how to develop confidence and build relationships.
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Loved everything about this audiobook!
- By Margaret S. Wilson on 07-29-15
By: Matthew Hussey
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The Difference Maker
- Making Your Attitude Your Greatest Asset
- By: John C. Maxwell
- Narrated by: Henry O. Arnold
- Length: 3 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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What can make the difference in your life today? How can two people with the same skills and abilities, in the same situation, end up with two totally different outcomes? Leadership expert John C. Maxwell says the difference maker is attitude. For those who have ever wondered what may be separating them from achieving the kind of personal and professional success they’ve always dreamt of, Dr. Maxwell has some words of insight: “Your attitude colors every aspect of your life. It is like the mind’s paintbrush.”
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One of the best books to read if you’re holding yourself back on things in life!
- By Amazon Customer on 01-23-23
By: John C. Maxwell
What listeners say about Marry Him
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-12-21
Wanted more
The book was engaging enough for me to finish in a day and I’d recommend it. The geek in me wanted more statistics and historical context of what could have changed overtime. Woman being able to financially support themselves more than ever would have been great to explore.
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8 people found this helpful
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- stephy
- 10-22-23
I’m getting married READ IT
I was on the edge of making the decision to get married to a great man that I wasn’t 100% drop dead head over heels for in all aspects & this book made me realize how dumb I’m being 😅. My marriage is in December (73 days) & I think I made the perfect choice. This book answered all the questions I had and gave me an idea of what to expect in a real marriage & relationship. No sugar coating or fairytales. Just reality. I think this is a great book to read especially irony this very heavy social media time where there is always someone else to compare your partner too. READ IT
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2 people found this helpful
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- Deja Robinson
- 01-10-22
Finished listening in three days
This was an easy listen as far as audiobooks go. The narrator was engaging and it almost felt like conversing with a friend. Sure the message was uncomfortable at times (inner feminist had some fits) but overall, I’m really glad I listened to this book. Highly recommend!
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1 person found this helpful
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- manano
- 11-03-22
Every girl 25+ MUST READ THIS!
I am a man. Being through so many dates where women have immediately wanted me to kiss them and sweep them away, or the total opposite, dismiss me without even getting to know basic things about me---the problem is the same: they are imposing their fantasy unto me. They are not thinking about my potential towards their life goals. Instead they just go with whatever feelings they happen to have that day, and make or break me or any other guy based on small details that DO NOT MATTER for long-term relationship satisfaction, and potentially developing a family. BE CLEAR: It's not about settling. It's not about getting what you deserve. It's not about comparing yourself to what your girlfriends have or how your current guy compares to your ex's. It's about having the right mindset that will get you to the long-term goals that you will cherish for the rest of your life. Don't sweat the details, build your life.
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1 person found this helpful
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- S.Crawford
- 12-19-21
Understood
I loved everything about this Precautionary Tale! I am definitely taking heed to the Author's message. I understand the assignment.
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- KymberlyJanelle
- 01-23-22
Must read/listen for all singles
Do yourself a favor and listen!!!
Seriously, every single person needs to hear these words!
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-04-22
Amazing!
I’d recommend this to anyone who keeps thinking they can find someone “a little more perfect” when they have a perfectly good, honest, loving man right in front of them.
Especially when they’re not so perfect themselves! Loved this book.
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- Francesca K.
- 12-01-22
Changed my life
Absolutely changed my life! If you are an unmarried woman—- or an unhappily married woman, PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND READ THIS BOOK.
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- Anonymous User
- 01-04-23
Overall, amazing!
It was such an eye opener for me and it’s like a lightbulb switch went off! I already recommended it to my friends & I definitely will read it again!
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- Rachel R
- 12-29-22
Breaks Down Dangerous Female Pattersn
I realized many things about myself in this book. I'm now more self aware and able to think about why I've had the dating patterns I've had. Where I've been too critical towards men and how I looked at men for what they have versus what they're putting up with on the opposite end. This is entertaining to listen to and informative in a scientific, personal and spiritual aspect. This book is for any single woman who is getting back into dating or is currently dating.
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