Okay, but Try Not to Murder Anyone
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $19.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
C.C. Thompson
-
JD Tanner
-
By:
-
Eric Vall
About this listen
My days used to be filled with working my minimum wage job at a local shipping store, but one night, I was in the wrong place at the right time and came into possession of a weird metal bracelet.
The good news: Now I suddenly have a superpower.
The bad news: A vicious family of mobsters, clandestine government agencies, and uber wealthy treasure hunters all want to tear the bracelet from my dead arm.
The worse news: I have no idea how to handle my new power, and I’m going to have to defeat the bad guys without hurting anyone who doesn’t deserve it.
Disclaimer: This is a slow-burn harem series.
©2021 Eric Vall (P)2024 Eric VallListeners also enjoyed...
-
To Valor's Bid
- Monster Girls in Space, Book 1
- By: M. Tress
- Narrated by: Jack Smith, Anne Marie Lebeaur
- Length: 18 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Join Desmond as he learns to manipulate mana—a source of power that exists beyond the reach of most people in the universe—meets vastly different alien species, risks life and limb, all while trying to pass classes. If he’s lucky, he will find someone he can trust out here amongst the weird. If he's very lucky, maybe someone he can love.
-
-
piss poor female narration
- By William Burks on 12-06-24
By: M. Tress
-
Dark City Girls
- An Urban Fantasy
- By: Michael Dalton, Adam Lance
- Narrated by: Evan Jordan, Alyssa Poon
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For a hundred and fifty years, Ezekiel Zane knew nothing but war—endless war in the name of the Fates, the Fae, and anyone who would hire him. Yet the glory of leading the most elite team of magical mercenaries in existence cost him the only thing he ever loved. He’s done. Retired to a community of renegade fae, street-racing shifters, and fallen celestials, Zane’s quiet life on the beach comes with challenges no greater than finding a reason to get out of bed in the morning and knowing when to call it a night at the bar down the street.
-
-
I love this world
- By Shiel on 10-31-24
By: Michael Dalton, and others
-
Capture, Evolve, Survive: Book 1
- By: Dante King
- Narrated by: Lewis Alexander, Rozelyn Rader
- Length: 10 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I guess you could call my latest job interview a success. I got hired, and it's way beyond my wildest dreams. The pay isn't great. And the hours are pretty much 24/7. But there's magic. And a portal to a fantasy world. Those kind of outweigh the negatives. At first, I thought I was just testing the latest VR survival RPG, but I'm starting to think this might not be a game after all. The monsters are definitely life-like and capable of carving me apart on their worst days. But on their best days, I make them mine.
-
-
holy political injection
- By Matthew J Rose on 08-11-24
By: Dante King
-
The War Game: Basic Training
- The War Game: A LitRPG Space Adventure, Book 1
- By: August Aird
- Narrated by: Rhys David, June Aaron
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Carter Ash wakes up with no memories in a virtual basic training. All the recruits will die within the next six weeks. Lucky for them, they’ve all got three lives. He’s assigned to a squad with his goofy friend and another captivating cadet, Iris. They have to keep each other alive as long as possible because when they die, they get assigned their permanent character class. And everyone in the squad wants a valuable class, ideally the kind where you don’t get killed immediately.
-
-
Lost interest when the alien girls showed up...
- By Roy on 11-14-24
By: August Aird
-
Quest Master
- A LitRPG Fantasy Adventure
- By: Hercules West
- Narrated by: Garrett Finlay, Erin Bateman
- Length: 12 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I woke and found myself in an ancient temple—naked, alone and without any memory of my past. Even the name my status screen displays—"Valerian Hawkblade"—is unfamiliar to me. It's a good name. A champion's name. Fate joins me with a pair of adventurers searching the long abandoned temple. Nikita, a human warrior, and her friend Kazumi, an elven mage, are seeking a magic weapon to defeat Baron Skeg. I pledge my aid in their quest for vengeance and together we begin a journey of leveling up, winning treasure, and upgrading our gear.
-
-
Hercules is just another Simp Writer
- By Anonymous User on 06-07-24
By: Hercules West
-
King of Superheroes
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Ella Meruha, Evan Jordan
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In a world where a fraction of the population activates a super power, I was just hoping for a semi-cool ability, something to get me out of my mundane job and life. Then, during my long-awaited activation, I unleashed not just one power, but multiple. Which was basically unheard of and meant I was something called an Omega. But the last Omega went crazy with power, so not everyone was welcoming when I showed up at the Super Academy in Miami.
-
-
Reminds me of The Incredibles
- By Kindle Customer on 08-10-24
By: Eric Vall
-
To Valor's Bid
- Monster Girls in Space, Book 1
- By: M. Tress
- Narrated by: Jack Smith, Anne Marie Lebeaur
- Length: 18 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Join Desmond as he learns to manipulate mana—a source of power that exists beyond the reach of most people in the universe—meets vastly different alien species, risks life and limb, all while trying to pass classes. If he’s lucky, he will find someone he can trust out here amongst the weird. If he's very lucky, maybe someone he can love.
-
-
piss poor female narration
- By William Burks on 12-06-24
By: M. Tress
-
Dark City Girls
- An Urban Fantasy
- By: Michael Dalton, Adam Lance
- Narrated by: Evan Jordan, Alyssa Poon
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For a hundred and fifty years, Ezekiel Zane knew nothing but war—endless war in the name of the Fates, the Fae, and anyone who would hire him. Yet the glory of leading the most elite team of magical mercenaries in existence cost him the only thing he ever loved. He’s done. Retired to a community of renegade fae, street-racing shifters, and fallen celestials, Zane’s quiet life on the beach comes with challenges no greater than finding a reason to get out of bed in the morning and knowing when to call it a night at the bar down the street.
-
-
I love this world
- By Shiel on 10-31-24
By: Michael Dalton, and others
-
Capture, Evolve, Survive: Book 1
- By: Dante King
- Narrated by: Lewis Alexander, Rozelyn Rader
- Length: 10 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I guess you could call my latest job interview a success. I got hired, and it's way beyond my wildest dreams. The pay isn't great. And the hours are pretty much 24/7. But there's magic. And a portal to a fantasy world. Those kind of outweigh the negatives. At first, I thought I was just testing the latest VR survival RPG, but I'm starting to think this might not be a game after all. The monsters are definitely life-like and capable of carving me apart on their worst days. But on their best days, I make them mine.
-
-
holy political injection
- By Matthew J Rose on 08-11-24
By: Dante King
-
The War Game: Basic Training
- The War Game: A LitRPG Space Adventure, Book 1
- By: August Aird
- Narrated by: Rhys David, June Aaron
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Carter Ash wakes up with no memories in a virtual basic training. All the recruits will die within the next six weeks. Lucky for them, they’ve all got three lives. He’s assigned to a squad with his goofy friend and another captivating cadet, Iris. They have to keep each other alive as long as possible because when they die, they get assigned their permanent character class. And everyone in the squad wants a valuable class, ideally the kind where you don’t get killed immediately.
-
-
Lost interest when the alien girls showed up...
- By Roy on 11-14-24
By: August Aird
-
Quest Master
- A LitRPG Fantasy Adventure
- By: Hercules West
- Narrated by: Garrett Finlay, Erin Bateman
- Length: 12 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I woke and found myself in an ancient temple—naked, alone and without any memory of my past. Even the name my status screen displays—"Valerian Hawkblade"—is unfamiliar to me. It's a good name. A champion's name. Fate joins me with a pair of adventurers searching the long abandoned temple. Nikita, a human warrior, and her friend Kazumi, an elven mage, are seeking a magic weapon to defeat Baron Skeg. I pledge my aid in their quest for vengeance and together we begin a journey of leveling up, winning treasure, and upgrading our gear.
-
-
Hercules is just another Simp Writer
- By Anonymous User on 06-07-24
By: Hercules West
-
King of Superheroes
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Ella Meruha, Evan Jordan
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In a world where a fraction of the population activates a super power, I was just hoping for a semi-cool ability, something to get me out of my mundane job and life. Then, during my long-awaited activation, I unleashed not just one power, but multiple. Which was basically unheard of and meant I was something called an Omega. But the last Omega went crazy with power, so not everyone was welcoming when I showed up at the Super Academy in Miami.
-
-
Reminds me of The Incredibles
- By Kindle Customer on 08-10-24
By: Eric Vall
-
Supers of Vault 12
- By: Dan Raxor, Jace Cannon
- Narrated by: DW Arthur, Ellory Lane
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Supers are spreading across the globe with no rhyme or reason. The governments declare war to keep the SuperVillains suppressed, but they don't stop there, fearing even those with good souls. Devon is a dentist with some quirks who saves a mother and her daughters, only to have the military betray him. He awakes in the future, confined to Vault 12 with nineteen of his peers. The mysteries confound those around him, but Devon is not an ordinary Super. No, he's special and with Olivia—a lovely Super with a troubled past—at his side, they'll figure out their true purpose.
-
-
A great first book
- By BiduscasMate on 07-21-24
By: Dan Raxor, and others
-
Elseworlders Bed & Breakfast 1
- By: Virgil Knightley, M.E. Thorne
- Narrated by: Alex Matthews, Renée Nolen
- Length: 11 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
My family has run Sugarville’s one and only B&B for years. Sure, it's a little rundown and the gardens are overgrown, but it’s still got what I like to call rustic charm. If things go my way, it’ll become a cozy shelter for Hellhounds, Alicorns, Kobolds, and more! Yup – I’ve just become the manager of a government-run home for monster girls. Not only will I need to patch the roof, fix the barn, and master my burgeoning magic, but I’ll also need to help our guests adapt to living on Earth!
-
-
I'm laughing so hard
- By Posiden300 on 09-15-24
By: Virgil Knightley, and others
-
Rise of the Shadow Mage
- By: James Haddock
- Narrated by: Daniel Wisniewski
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Robert’s mother dies, his whole world caves in on him. Fatherless, he has no one, and nowhere to go. The royal mage shows him kindness by putting him on the royal guard as a “boot” to keep a roof over his head. Robert’s quick wit and willingness to help others serve him well in the guard. He becomes friends with the king’s second son, Randal, who was placed in the guard by the king to teach him discipline. As he ages, he develops mage abilities but keeps them secret. While on a weekend pass in the city, Robert saves Randal’s life and is rewarded by being made Randal’s liegeman.
-
-
Another Great One, Familiar but just different enough.
- By corey on 11-15-24
By: James Haddock
-
Demon Mage: Book 1
- By: D. Levesque
- Narrated by: Kat Riley, Boise Blue
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Thrust into a realm of seductive demons and dangerous adversaries, Brian must navigate this treacherous landscape, unsure whether his new reality will ultimately bring fortune or ruin. One thing was certain—life would never be the same again.
-
-
The gayest clueless protaganist
- By Sean Mcwilliams on 08-14-24
By: D. Levesque
-
AnimeCon
- Harem
- By: FortySixtyFour
- Narrated by: Harriet Sinclair, Jean Paul Garces
- Length: 15 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Brian attends an anime convention with a mysterious charm.
-
-
wth is this?
- By CooJo on 10-21-24
By: FortySixtyFour
-
The Halls of Magic: Volume 1
- By: Annabelle Hawthorne, M.E. Thorne
- Narrated by: Melisandre Verte, Patrick Dubois
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I thought I was destined for an early grave. Apparently, fate had other plans for me. My name is Jake. After twenty-three years of life, all I have to my name is a dead-end job and an undiagnosed metabolic disorder that has the doctors baffled. Everything changed on my birthday when I found a magical key that followed me home. It led me to the Halls of Magic, a multiversal repository of arcane knowledge that will allow me the chance to cure my broken body and unlock arcane power.
-
-
Non stop virgin wet dream
- By Anonymous User on 11-13-24
By: Annabelle Hawthorne, and others
-
I'm Just a Small Town Shifter
- I'm Just a Small Town Shifter, Book 1
- By: G.S. D'Moore
- Narrated by: Evan Jordan, Sierra Taft
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Kirk Jensen always chased his dreams. He even left home and chased them across the country. He expected that hard work, training, and determination would make his dreams a reality. Afterall, people always say that if you work hard, you can achieve your goals. He did not expect to be a short order cook working long shifts for minimum wage. He certainly didn't expect to take the garbage out one night and find himself confronted by a thousand pounds of fury armed with fangs and claws. He did not expect to survive.
-
-
Copaganda
- By S. Johnson on 07-15-23
By: G.S. D'Moore
-
Royal Blooded
- By: F.G. Smith
- Narrated by: Andrew Pond, Erin Bateman
- Length: 11 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Eli Grayson knew there was no such thing as magic. He knew there were no other worlds filled with magical races beyond his imagining. He knew he was a regular guy, just trying to recover from a brutally difficult breakup. That is, until he foiled an assassination attempt on an elven princess who showed him exactly how wrong he was. He's thrust headfirst into a hidden world of potent magic and sinister plots only to discover he has powers of his own.
-
-
Author needs to keep his politics out of his books
- By Audiophile on 05-16-24
By: F.G. Smith
-
Harmony
- Harmony, Book 1
- By: Alan Moria
- Narrated by: Jack Smith, Anne Marie Lebeaur
- Length: 14 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Throughout his entire life, Nate has been considered a cripple and an inconvenience, solely for being born without the precious magic for which the Great Arcane Families were both respected and feared. Being powerless as he was, he couldn’t fight back when choosing to do the right thing was rewarded with even more injustice from old men on even older thrones.
-
-
Werewolves and other planets.
- By DaynenMc on 07-29-24
By: Alan Moria
-
Monsters Mayhem and Misfits
- By: Marcus Sloss, Jack Spry
- Narrated by: Jessica Threet
- Length: 11 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Josh Underwood is thrown through a wormhole and lands on an unfamiliar world, he is immediately attacked by flesh-eating worms and snarling wolves. He has one huge advantage. A ring sits on his finger, but it's no ordinary ring. It's alien tech designed to improve its host’s strength, speed, agility, durability and combat instinct. Not all boons are infinitely wondrous. This tech has to understand what Josh needs for it to evolve, and time is of the essence.
-
-
I'm two hours in and I'm suffering
- By Jason on 05-17-24
By: Marcus Sloss, and others
-
Dead Freeze
- By: Misty Vixen, Lara X. Lust
- Narrated by: Ally Frey
- Length: 8 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Max Slater is a man on a mission. A life of salvaging tech and fighting horrors in deep space has given him nerves of steel, but now he finds himself coming up against the toughest job of his life. On a frozen, not-quite-dead planet, a desperate salvage operation has gone wrong. Max has been hired to investigate. What's left of civilization badly needs that salvage. But when his own rescue operation goes just as wrong, he finds himself fighting for his life.
-
-
Sci fi survival story
- By nomad on 11-14-24
By: Misty Vixen, and others
-
Suburban Warlock
- By: Noah Layton
- Narrated by: Lewis Alexander, Rozelyn Rader
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After years of clearing out the initial floors of dungeons so that famous teams could take the real prizes, I was around about ready to call it quits. But after getting myself dragged into the final floors of a legendary dungeon by a team of equally-legendary morons, I found myself as the only survivor – and the only one to claim the legendary prize on the dungeon’s final floor.
-
-
Had potential...
- By CooJo on 10-30-24
By: Noah Layton
Related to this topic
-
Project Hail Mary
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 16 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission - and if he fails, humanity and the Earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn't know that. He can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he's been asleep for a very, very long time. And he's just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company.
-
-
Bazinga
- By Davidgonzalezsr on 05-04-21
By: Andy Weir
-
George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
-
-
A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
-
The Martian
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive - and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet.
-
-
I love Wil Wheaton but why not R. C. Bray?
- By L. Newman on 01-11-20
By: Andy Weir
-
Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
-
-
Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
-
Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
-
-
A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
-
The Signal
- By: Eric Buchman, Gabriel Urbina, Sarah Shachat
- Narrated by: Paget Brewster, full cast
- Length: 2 hrs and 39 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Two astronomers have detected a strange, pulsing signal from deep space. Within hours, the US government goes into lockdown, restricting airspace and scrubbing scientific data. Was the signal an intercepted communication revealing alarming plans for an enemy’s military strike? Or has humanity at long last found proof of extraterrestrial life?
-
-
A great new twist on the “alien conspiracy” genre
- By Amazon Customer on 12-08-24
By: Eric Buchman, and others
-
Project Hail Mary
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 16 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission - and if he fails, humanity and the Earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn't know that. He can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he's been asleep for a very, very long time. And he's just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company.
-
-
Bazinga
- By Davidgonzalezsr on 05-04-21
By: Andy Weir
-
George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
-
-
A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
-
The Martian
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive - and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet.
-
-
I love Wil Wheaton but why not R. C. Bray?
- By L. Newman on 01-11-20
By: Andy Weir
-
Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
-
-
Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
-
Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
-
-
A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
-
The Signal
- By: Eric Buchman, Gabriel Urbina, Sarah Shachat
- Narrated by: Paget Brewster, full cast
- Length: 2 hrs and 39 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Two astronomers have detected a strange, pulsing signal from deep space. Within hours, the US government goes into lockdown, restricting airspace and scrubbing scientific data. Was the signal an intercepted communication revealing alarming plans for an enemy’s military strike? Or has humanity at long last found proof of extraterrestrial life?
-
-
A great new twist on the “alien conspiracy” genre
- By Amazon Customer on 12-08-24
By: Eric Buchman, and others
People who viewed this also viewed...
-
Without Law
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Christopher Boucher, Jessica Threet
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When the world ended, former Army Ranger Connor “Tav” McTavish thought he’d prepped for everything. He was wrong. When roving gangs destroy all semblance of law and order, and the strong take what they want from the weak, Connor will find himself as the sole protector of an all girls' college hidden away in the Green Mountains of Vermont. Now, his only chance at survival is to show group female liberal arts snowflakes what a real man can do, and turn all four of them into survival and combat experts.
-
-
Ok, but nothing special. +points for rec. blooper
- By Kindle Customer on 06-27-19
By: Eric Vall
-
Werewolf Knight
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Alyssa Poon, Jack Douglas
- Length: 12 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A newcomer hath arrived from the faraway land of ‘New Jersey’ to our noble kingdom of Lupercalia. Hank Baker, chosen by the Moon Goddess Herself to serve as Her knight champion! Transported here across vast distances by Her blessing, Hank, alone among red-blooded commoners, possesses the gift of were-shifting to battle the endless hordes of monsters, recover the lost treasures of the realm, and bed the most comely womenfolk.
-
-
very fun and fast paced story
- By JJP on 02-26-24
By: Eric Vall
-
The Alpha: Protect. Procreate. Prevail.
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Robert L. Bradvica, Alyssa Poon
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I was just a nerd for crying out loud. A college student just doing his best to survive. I can’t be a werewolf. I have midterms next week. But apparently fate has plans for me, because one day I was just Jesse Rafe, and the next day I’m The Alpha, the legendary were shifter who is meant to impregnate every possible shifter species omega female and rule the world. If I don’t get killed by another alpha first, of course.
-
-
Super easy, barely an Inconvenience
- By kevin on 10-04-21
By: Eric Vall
-
Summoner
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Joshua Story
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gryff never knew he was the most powerful summoner in the world until a rogue monster attacked his village. Now he's been recruited into the top magical academy, beautiful women are breaking down his dorm-room door, and the headmaster has big, big plans for him. Instead of summoners being maligned by society, Gryff is in a position to make them revered and honored.
-
-
story not very good
- By Darren Silvers on 01-21-19
By: Eric Vall
-
Magic Girls of Multiverse Inn
- A Reverse Portal Fantasy
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: C.C. Thompson, JD Tanner
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
No one ever said navigating a magical multiverse would be easy, though. The Grymm is a deadly place, where gorgeous women are bound to lives of servitude and salesmanship, and nothing is ever as innocent as it seems. But having a highly coveted Venturer’s badge on my chest sure seems to be my ticket to riches, glory, and exotic women with magic powers beyond my wildest dreams.
-
-
Unique concept for accessing the multiverse
- By bill on 10-29-24
By: Eric Vall
-
Dragon Conjurer
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Alex Perone, Marissa Parness
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I was just your average college anthropology student. I went to class, worked my minimum-wage job, and studied for exams. Until I discovered that monsters are real and that I can summon the most powerful of them all: dragons. Now, I’m a Dragon Conjurer working for a secret agency/academy that protects the world from monsters behind the scenes, and two of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever met are in my squad and super into me. And it seems that they don’t mind sharing. Life is about to become awesome.
-
-
Is Eric even trying anymore?
- By kevin on 12-29-20
By: Eric Vall
-
Without Law
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Christopher Boucher, Jessica Threet
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When the world ended, former Army Ranger Connor “Tav” McTavish thought he’d prepped for everything. He was wrong. When roving gangs destroy all semblance of law and order, and the strong take what they want from the weak, Connor will find himself as the sole protector of an all girls' college hidden away in the Green Mountains of Vermont. Now, his only chance at survival is to show group female liberal arts snowflakes what a real man can do, and turn all four of them into survival and combat experts.
-
-
Ok, but nothing special. +points for rec. blooper
- By Kindle Customer on 06-27-19
By: Eric Vall
-
Werewolf Knight
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Alyssa Poon, Jack Douglas
- Length: 12 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A newcomer hath arrived from the faraway land of ‘New Jersey’ to our noble kingdom of Lupercalia. Hank Baker, chosen by the Moon Goddess Herself to serve as Her knight champion! Transported here across vast distances by Her blessing, Hank, alone among red-blooded commoners, possesses the gift of were-shifting to battle the endless hordes of monsters, recover the lost treasures of the realm, and bed the most comely womenfolk.
-
-
very fun and fast paced story
- By JJP on 02-26-24
By: Eric Vall
-
The Alpha: Protect. Procreate. Prevail.
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Robert L. Bradvica, Alyssa Poon
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I was just a nerd for crying out loud. A college student just doing his best to survive. I can’t be a werewolf. I have midterms next week. But apparently fate has plans for me, because one day I was just Jesse Rafe, and the next day I’m The Alpha, the legendary were shifter who is meant to impregnate every possible shifter species omega female and rule the world. If I don’t get killed by another alpha first, of course.
-
-
Super easy, barely an Inconvenience
- By kevin on 10-04-21
By: Eric Vall
-
Summoner
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Joshua Story
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gryff never knew he was the most powerful summoner in the world until a rogue monster attacked his village. Now he's been recruited into the top magical academy, beautiful women are breaking down his dorm-room door, and the headmaster has big, big plans for him. Instead of summoners being maligned by society, Gryff is in a position to make them revered and honored.
-
-
story not very good
- By Darren Silvers on 01-21-19
By: Eric Vall
-
Magic Girls of Multiverse Inn
- A Reverse Portal Fantasy
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: C.C. Thompson, JD Tanner
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
No one ever said navigating a magical multiverse would be easy, though. The Grymm is a deadly place, where gorgeous women are bound to lives of servitude and salesmanship, and nothing is ever as innocent as it seems. But having a highly coveted Venturer’s badge on my chest sure seems to be my ticket to riches, glory, and exotic women with magic powers beyond my wildest dreams.
-
-
Unique concept for accessing the multiverse
- By bill on 10-29-24
By: Eric Vall
-
Dragon Conjurer
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Alex Perone, Marissa Parness
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I was just your average college anthropology student. I went to class, worked my minimum-wage job, and studied for exams. Until I discovered that monsters are real and that I can summon the most powerful of them all: dragons. Now, I’m a Dragon Conjurer working for a secret agency/academy that protects the world from monsters behind the scenes, and two of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever met are in my squad and super into me. And it seems that they don’t mind sharing. Life is about to become awesome.
-
-
Is Eric even trying anymore?
- By kevin on 12-29-20
By: Eric Vall
-
Evil Genius
- Becoming the Apex Supervillain
- By: Logan Jacobs
- Narrated by: Christopher Boucher, Jessica Threet, Alex Perone, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Supervillains are murdering people in the streets, but yet superheroes are more concerned with gaining popularity than bringing the villains to justice. These villains think they are above the law and that nobody can stop them, but they never planned for me. I’ll murder every one of them with my powersuit, traps, and sidekicks. And if killing bad guys makes me a villain in the eyes of the heroes, well...I’ll destroy them too.
-
-
I love the narrator's. No story.
- By JJ on 05-14-20
By: Logan Jacobs
-
Soulbound 1: A Haremlit Fantasy Adventure
- Soulbound, Book 1
- By: Cassius Lange
- Narrated by: Gabriel Michael, Jessica Threet
- Length: 15 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After having kept my hands to myself for years, It's time to enjoy myself a bit as well with an enemy-turned-ally magician who is as smart as she is beautiful, a bar owner who can equally hold herself in a fight as much as with liquor, and the only other survivor other than myself, a golden-haired healer who's even more damaged than I am. Change looms behind Greystone's colossal walls as guilds vanish, arena fighters wind up dead, and whispers of a great war permeate the streets. My name is Cade, a man driven by vengeance, and I am going to bring it all down!
-
-
I just don't understand.
- By Bishop on 04-14-24
By: Cassius Lange
-
Dead Freeze
- By: Misty Vixen, Lara X. Lust
- Narrated by: Ally Frey
- Length: 8 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Max Slater is a man on a mission. A life of salvaging tech and fighting horrors in deep space has given him nerves of steel, but now he finds himself coming up against the toughest job of his life. On a frozen, not-quite-dead planet, a desperate salvage operation has gone wrong. Max has been hired to investigate. What's left of civilization badly needs that salvage. But when his own rescue operation goes just as wrong, he finds himself fighting for his life.
-
-
Sci fi survival story
- By nomad on 11-14-24
By: Misty Vixen, and others
-
Princess Master
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Alex Perone, Marissa Parness
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hi. My name’s Joe, and yeah...I’m a plumber. Things were going just fine, until I got pulled into this crazy fantasy world by a genie who seemed to think I was this “Hero of Legend”. Now I have to collect all the princesses of Fairyland, bind them to me using this crazy...uhhh...kinky...uhhhh...“ritual”, and then use their combined powers to defeat the evil demon Chernabog. I guess you could call this a magical pipe-laying adventure.
-
-
Dumb characters fumble through everything.
- By Bryan Gallagher on 08-22-20
By: Eric Vall
-
Headpats After Dark
- A cozy yandere romcom for men who like crazy vampire women
- By: Virgil Knightley
- Narrated by: Raya Kane, Richard Brock
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It would be an understatement to call Trevon Beaumont an accomplished monster slayer. He's traversed the European countryside upholding the legacy of his clan one completed mission at a time for the whole of his adult life. Now he's on his most perilous quest yet: slay the cruel but beautiful Countess Dracula. Just as the two of them seem ready to conclude their final battle, however, an unexpected act of betrayal sends them hurtling together through time—bloodbonding them, thus entwining their fates.
-
-
Good overall!
- By Disneysingalongs on 12-12-24
By: Virgil Knightley
-
King of Superheroes
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Ella Meruha, Evan Jordan
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In a world where a fraction of the population activates a super power, I was just hoping for a semi-cool ability, something to get me out of my mundane job and life. Then, during my long-awaited activation, I unleashed not just one power, but multiple. Which was basically unheard of and meant I was something called an Omega. But the last Omega went crazy with power, so not everyone was welcoming when I showed up at the Super Academy in Miami.
-
-
Reminds me of The Incredibles
- By Kindle Customer on 08-10-24
By: Eric Vall
-
Capture, Evolve, Survive: Book 1
- By: Dante King
- Narrated by: Lewis Alexander, Rozelyn Rader
- Length: 10 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I guess you could call my latest job interview a success. I got hired, and it's way beyond my wildest dreams. The pay isn't great. And the hours are pretty much 24/7. But there's magic. And a portal to a fantasy world. Those kind of outweigh the negatives. At first, I thought I was just testing the latest VR survival RPG, but I'm starting to think this might not be a game after all. The monsters are definitely life-like and capable of carving me apart on their worst days. But on their best days, I make them mine.
-
-
holy political injection
- By Matthew J Rose on 08-11-24
By: Dante King
-
To Valor's Bid
- Monster Girls in Space, Book 1
- By: M. Tress
- Narrated by: Jack Smith, Anne Marie Lebeaur
- Length: 18 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Join Desmond as he learns to manipulate mana—a source of power that exists beyond the reach of most people in the universe—meets vastly different alien species, risks life and limb, all while trying to pass classes. If he’s lucky, he will find someone he can trust out here amongst the weird. If he's very lucky, maybe someone he can love.
-
-
piss poor female narration
- By William Burks on 12-06-24
By: M. Tress
-
Bonded Spirits: The Complete Series
- By: Jake Daniel
- Narrated by: Christian J. Gilliland, Hazel Cohen
- Length: 29 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When fate brought me to the fantasy world of Aurilon, I thought I'd seen everything. If I only knew how wrong I was. Now, I’ve discovered monsters are real, they’re stunningly beautiful, and they need my help. In this world, men’s cores are cursed, preventing them from cultivating and achieving incredible power. Fortunately, I’m not from this world. With several amazing monster girls at my side, I'll forge a new destiny and ascend to heights I’d only ever dreamed of. But first, I must create a safe haven in the wilds to protect those who have been hunted for far too long.
-
-
Not so good.
- By N-0 on 05-09-22
By: Jake Daniel
-
The Hero Game
- A LitRPG Superhero Adventure: Volume One: Tutorial
- By: August Aird
- Narrated by: Hannah Trusty
- Length: 6 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jack Jenkins is a normal college student living in a world filled with super powered beings. Until one fateful day in the library throws his whole life into chaos. An ancient and beguiling cosmic visitor bonds with him, granting him extraordinary abilities. The only catch: he has to earn his powers like he was in a video game. And he has to learn on the fly.
-
-
He should have gone with the hero name “The Player”
- By Randy Smith on 12-10-24
By: August Aird
-
Dragon Emperor
- Human to Dragon to God
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Alex Perone, Marissa Parness
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Evan was just an average guy working as an EMT, but when he puts on an ancient dragon mask, he’s teleported to the magical world of Inati as a powerful black dragon. Now, he’ll have to save a beautiful priestess, rebuild a broken city, and fight a horde of zombie-like monsters led by an ancient demonic evil. If he wins, then the opportunity to build his powers, treasure horde, and empire will await him. If he loses, then his new friends will all suffer fates worse than death.
-
-
Fastest Reader Ever
- By Lucas on 11-06-19
By: Eric Vall
-
The Immortal's Guide to Supervillainy Omnibus Edition
- By: M.E. Thorne
- Narrated by: Matt Hicks, Erin Bateman
- Length: 37 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The complete series in a single offering! This battle shall reach its inevitable conclusion -- and the final triumph will belong to Doctor Undying!
-
-
A fun read
- By Lawrence on 09-11-24
By: M.E. Thorne
What listeners say about Okay, but Try Not to Murder Anyone
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Hacnslac
- 06-23-24
a bit slow
overall good but overly descriptive, as if the intended reader had no world experience. made it seem slow. i think sex scenes were the only thing that bumped it out of the 12 year old market classification. great narration, with very good character seperation.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!