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Okay, but Try Not to Murder Anyone
- Narrated by: C.C. Thompson, JD Tanner
- Length: 9 hrs and 23 mins
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Publisher's summary
My days used to be filled with working my minimum wage job at a local shipping store, but one night, I was in the wrong place at the right time and came into possession of a weird metal bracelet.
The good news: Now I suddenly have a superpower.
The bad news: A vicious family of mobsters, clandestine government agencies, and uber wealthy treasure hunters all want to tear the bracelet from my dead arm.
The worse news: I have no idea how to handle my new power, and I’m going to have to defeat the bad guys without hurting anyone who doesn’t deserve it.
Disclaimer: This is a slow-burn harem series.
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Metal Mage
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Christopher Boucher, Jessica Threet
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
This magical world is about to have an industrial revolution. Get pulled from a life of 20th century boredom and thrust into a fantasy world. Find out there are a bunch of powerful monsters and evil wizards intent on killing everyone. Use new magical powers of earth and metal to craft awesome armor, swords, and guns. Kill the bad guys, become a hero, and have a harem of hot women.
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Couldn't listen anymore after 3 hours.
- By Michael on 06-15-19
By: Eric Vall
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King of Superheroes
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Ella Meruha, Evan Jordan
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In a world where a fraction of the population activates a super power, I was just hoping for a semi-cool ability, something to get me out of my mundane job and life. Then, during my long-awaited activation, I unleashed not just one power, but multiple. Which was basically unheard of and meant I was something called an Omega. But the last Omega went crazy with power, so not everyone was welcoming when I showed up at the Super Academy in Miami.
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Reminds me of The Incredibles
- By Kindle Customer on 08-10-24
By: Eric Vall
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Succubus Lord
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Christopher Boucher, Jessica Threet
- Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
"Dude! It finally came!" My roommate barely withheld his excitement as he barreled into the living room of our apartment with a package in his hand. "Check it out, Jacob." He smiled as he tore at the brown paper surrounding his purchase. As he ripped the covering off the package, bits and pieces scattered all across the floor of the living room like confetti. For a second, I thought about lecturing Todd about not making a mess of our apartment, but who was I kidding? This place was already a shithole. At least some half-assed confetti would make it feel a little livelier.
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Fun first book
- By r1se on 05-30-19
By: Eric Vall
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Summoner
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Joshua Story
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Gryff never knew he was the most powerful summoner in the world until a rogue monster attacked his village. Now he's been recruited into the top magical academy, beautiful women are breaking down his dorm-room door, and the headmaster has big, big plans for him. Instead of summoners being maligned by society, Gryff is in a position to make them revered and honored.
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story not very good
- By Darren Silvers on 01-21-19
By: Eric Vall
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Mastering Magic Collection
- An Urban Fantasy Slice-of-Life Omnibus
- By: Kirk Mason
- Narrated by: Savannah Thomas
- Length: 26 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Everyone with the gift is going to the academy. Not me. I'll master magic my own way. School was a chore. All I wanted was to become a magus, enter the academy, and train my chosen affinity. But I didn't pass the test. They said I didn't have it in me. Years later, a run-in with a sassy goth mage named Misty revealed I could do magic. Those damn monocle-wearing pseudo-Victorians at the academy locked me out! Screw them.
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Idiot Characters
- By Lostmidwesterner on 02-10-24
By: Kirk Mason
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Without Law
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Christopher Boucher, Jessica Threet
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When the world ended, former Army Ranger Connor “Tav” McTavish thought he’d prepped for everything. He was wrong. When roving gangs destroy all semblance of law and order, and the strong take what they want from the weak, Connor will find himself as the sole protector of an all girls' college hidden away in the Green Mountains of Vermont. Now, his only chance at survival is to show group female liberal arts snowflakes what a real man can do, and turn all four of them into survival and combat experts.
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Ok, but nothing special. +points for rec. blooper
- By Kindle Customer on 06-27-19
By: Eric Vall
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Metal Mage
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Christopher Boucher, Jessica Threet
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This magical world is about to have an industrial revolution. Get pulled from a life of 20th century boredom and thrust into a fantasy world. Find out there are a bunch of powerful monsters and evil wizards intent on killing everyone. Use new magical powers of earth and metal to craft awesome armor, swords, and guns. Kill the bad guys, become a hero, and have a harem of hot women.
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Couldn't listen anymore after 3 hours.
- By Michael on 06-15-19
By: Eric Vall
-
King of Superheroes
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Ella Meruha, Evan Jordan
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In a world where a fraction of the population activates a super power, I was just hoping for a semi-cool ability, something to get me out of my mundane job and life. Then, during my long-awaited activation, I unleashed not just one power, but multiple. Which was basically unheard of and meant I was something called an Omega. But the last Omega went crazy with power, so not everyone was welcoming when I showed up at the Super Academy in Miami.
-
-
Reminds me of The Incredibles
- By Kindle Customer on 08-10-24
By: Eric Vall
-
Succubus Lord
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Christopher Boucher, Jessica Threet
- Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
"Dude! It finally came!" My roommate barely withheld his excitement as he barreled into the living room of our apartment with a package in his hand. "Check it out, Jacob." He smiled as he tore at the brown paper surrounding his purchase. As he ripped the covering off the package, bits and pieces scattered all across the floor of the living room like confetti. For a second, I thought about lecturing Todd about not making a mess of our apartment, but who was I kidding? This place was already a shithole. At least some half-assed confetti would make it feel a little livelier.
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-
Fun first book
- By r1se on 05-30-19
By: Eric Vall
-
Summoner
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Joshua Story
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gryff never knew he was the most powerful summoner in the world until a rogue monster attacked his village. Now he's been recruited into the top magical academy, beautiful women are breaking down his dorm-room door, and the headmaster has big, big plans for him. Instead of summoners being maligned by society, Gryff is in a position to make them revered and honored.
-
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story not very good
- By Darren Silvers on 01-21-19
By: Eric Vall
-
Mastering Magic Collection
- An Urban Fantasy Slice-of-Life Omnibus
- By: Kirk Mason
- Narrated by: Savannah Thomas
- Length: 26 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Everyone with the gift is going to the academy. Not me. I'll master magic my own way. School was a chore. All I wanted was to become a magus, enter the academy, and train my chosen affinity. But I didn't pass the test. They said I didn't have it in me. Years later, a run-in with a sassy goth mage named Misty revealed I could do magic. Those damn monocle-wearing pseudo-Victorians at the academy locked me out! Screw them.
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Idiot Characters
- By Lostmidwesterner on 02-10-24
By: Kirk Mason
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Werewolf Knight
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Alyssa Poon, Jack Douglas
- Length: 12 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A newcomer hath arrived from the faraway land of ‘New Jersey’ to our noble kingdom of Lupercalia. Hank Baker, chosen by the Moon Goddess Herself to serve as Her knight champion! Transported here across vast distances by Her blessing, Hank, alone among red-blooded commoners, possesses the gift of were-shifting to battle the endless hordes of monsters, recover the lost treasures of the realm, and bed the most comely womenfolk.
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very fun and fast paced story
- By JJP on 02-26-24
By: Eric Vall
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Dragon Emperor
- Human to Dragon to God
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Alex Perone, Marissa Parness
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Evan was just an average guy working as an EMT, but when he puts on an ancient dragon mask, he’s teleported to the magical world of Inati as a powerful black dragon. Now, he’ll have to save a beautiful priestess, rebuild a broken city, and fight a horde of zombie-like monsters led by an ancient demonic evil. If he wins, then the opportunity to build his powers, treasure horde, and empire will await him. If he loses, then his new friends will all suffer fates worse than death.
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Fastest Reader Ever
- By Lucas on 11-06-19
By: Eric Vall
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Making Supers 1
- Making Supers, Book 1
- By: Dante King
- Narrated by: Raya Kane, Wayne Kelly
- Length: 10 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When people started to develop superpowers, the world changed forever. Me? I wasn't one of the lucky ones with powers. So I had to develop more mundane skills, skills which have taken me across the globe on dangerous missions. But there are some missions I’ve always had to refuse. I've never been able to take on a super. They're just too powerful. They're gods, whereas I'm just a man, even with all my knowledge and training. All that changes after I discover my dad's secret research project.
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Mono tone
- By Anonymous User on 11-24-22
By: Dante King
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Starship Heroes
- By: Jack Spry, Dan Raxor
- Narrated by: Evan Reed, Ellory Lane
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Born in a small spaceport on a distant planet, I dreamed of flying a starship, exploring wild frontiers and having one exciting encounter after another. I wanted to go everywhere, but life locked me onto the slow track to nowhere. Then fate dealt me a new hand, and my life changed beyond all imagination in the most amazing ways. But I couldn’t do it by myself. To fulfill my dream, I needed a team of starship heroes. Earning their trust and making them family will be just as grand as the epic adventures.
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Love Anything Jack Spry Puts out
- By Rodney Veracruz on 07-24-24
By: Jack Spry, and others
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Magic Girls of Multiverse Inn
- A Reverse Portal Fantasy
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: C.C. Thompson, JD Tanner
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
No one ever said navigating a magical multiverse would be easy, though. The Grymm is a deadly place, where gorgeous women are bound to lives of servitude and salesmanship, and nothing is ever as innocent as it seems. But having a highly coveted Venturer’s badge on my chest sure seems to be my ticket to riches, glory, and exotic women with magic powers beyond my wildest dreams.
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Unique concept for accessing the multiverse
- By bill on 10-29-24
By: Eric Vall
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Capture, Evolve, Survive: Book 1
- By: Dante King
- Narrated by: Lewis Alexander, Rozelyn Rader
- Length: 10 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I guess you could call my latest job interview a success. I got hired, and it's way beyond my wildest dreams. The pay isn't great. And the hours are pretty much 24/7. But there's magic. And a portal to a fantasy world. Those kind of outweigh the negatives. At first, I thought I was just testing the latest VR survival RPG, but I'm starting to think this might not be a game after all. The monsters are definitely life-like and capable of carving me apart on their worst days. But on their best days, I make them mine.
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The thesaurus is strong with this one
- By G. I. Morning on 07-21-24
By: Dante King
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The Alpha: Protect. Procreate. Prevail.
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Robert L. Bradvica, Alyssa Poon
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I was just a nerd for crying out loud. A college student just doing his best to survive. I can’t be a werewolf. I have midterms next week. But apparently fate has plans for me, because one day I was just Jesse Rafe, and the next day I’m The Alpha, the legendary were shifter who is meant to impregnate every possible shifter species omega female and rule the world. If I don’t get killed by another alpha first, of course.
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Super easy, barely an Inconvenience
- By kevin on 10-04-21
By: Eric Vall
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Dino Tribes
- By: Marcus Sloss
- Narrated by: Jonathan Waters, Cassandra Quinn
- Length: 16 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Alan is deposited in a grassy field with all signs of humanity replaced. A few hundred of his peers are given a loincloth, spear, a few tools, and a mission: to integrate and survive... if they're not eaten first.
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I want dinosaur pets!
- By DaynenMc on 05-08-24
By: Marcus Sloss
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Princess Master
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Alex Perone, Marissa Parness
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Hi. My name’s Joe, and yeah...I’m a plumber. Things were going just fine, until I got pulled into this crazy fantasy world by a genie who seemed to think I was this “Hero of Legend”. Now I have to collect all the princesses of Fairyland, bind them to me using this crazy...uhhh...kinky...uhhhh...“ritual”, and then use their combined powers to defeat the evil demon Chernabog. I guess you could call this a magical pipe-laying adventure.
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Dumb characters fumble through everything.
- By Bryan Gallagher on 08-22-20
By: Eric Vall
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Lottery King
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Jessica Threet, Christopher Boucher
- Length: 10 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I never imagined I’d win this big playing the lottery. Then, I bought a ticket that would change my life forever, and it’s not only riches I’m rolling in now. But being the first human king of the Eternal Realm comes with its own challenges, and there’s plenty of species who’d like to see my head on a spike.
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Great 1st Book
- By Jeffery Alan Browning, II on 01-10-23
By: Eric Vall
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Ragnarok Awaits
- Warriors of Valhalla, Book 1
- By: Tim Steiner
- Narrated by: Jon Brattin, Mari Bee
- Length: 12 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Blake never expected to meet beautiful women while studying archaeology — let alone a stunning Valkyrie. Dying was a bit of a bummer, but the chance to see Asgard with his own eyes was well worth it. Blake found himself one of the few, modern mortals found worthy of Valhalla, earning him the interest of the gorgeous battle maidens.
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Too much time spent in the head of an adult MC with the mind of an angsty 15 year old.
- By GrumpyMunk on 07-31-24
By: Tim Steiner
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The Radley House Omnibus Books 1-4
- By: Annabelle Hawthorne
- Narrated by: Alyssa Poon, Evan Jordan
- Length: 69 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A man becomes targeted by witches after he inherits some very special real estate.
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Lots of gratuitous sex. Big volume changes,
- By T. Smith on 05-28-24
What listeners say about Okay, but Try Not to Murder Anyone
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Hacnslac
- 06-23-24
a bit slow
overall good but overly descriptive, as if the intended reader had no world experience. made it seem slow. i think sex scenes were the only thing that bumped it out of the 12 year old market classification. great narration, with very good character seperation.
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