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Narrated by:
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C.C. Thompson
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JD Tanner
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By:
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Eric Vall
About this listen
My days used to be filled with working my minimum wage job at a local shipping store, but one night, I was in the wrong place at the right time and came into possession of a weird metal bracelet.
The good news: Now I suddenly have a superpower.
The bad news: A vicious family of mobsters, clandestine government agencies, and uber wealthy treasure hunters all want to tear the bracelet from my dead arm.
The worse news: I have no idea how to handle my new power, and I’m going to have to defeat the bad guys without hurting anyone who doesn’t deserve it.
Disclaimer: This is a slow-burn harem series.
©2021 Eric Vall (P)2024 Eric VallListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
This magical world is about to have an industrial revolution. Get pulled from a life of 20th century boredom and thrust into a fantasy world. Find out there are a bunch of powerful monsters and evil wizards intent on killing everyone. Use new magical powers of earth and metal to craft awesome armor, swords, and guns. Kill the bad guys, become a hero, and have a harem of hot women.
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Couldn't listen anymore after 3 hours.
- By Michael on 06-15-19
By: Eric Vall
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Princess Master
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Alex Perone, Marissa Parness
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Hi. My name’s Joe, and yeah...I’m a plumber. Things were going just fine, until I got pulled into this crazy fantasy world by a genie who seemed to think I was this “Hero of Legend”. Now I have to collect all the princesses of Fairyland, bind them to me using this crazy...uhhh...kinky...uhhhh...“ritual”, and then use their combined powers to defeat the evil demon Chernabog. I guess you could call this a magical pipe-laying adventure.
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Dumb characters fumble through everything.
- By Bryan Gallagher on 08-22-20
By: Eric Vall
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Werewolf Knight
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Alyssa Poon, Jack Douglas
- Length: 12 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A newcomer hath arrived from the faraway land of ‘New Jersey’ to our noble kingdom of Lupercalia. Hank Baker, chosen by the Moon Goddess Herself to serve as Her knight champion! Transported here across vast distances by Her blessing, Hank, alone among red-blooded commoners, possesses the gift of were-shifting to battle the endless hordes of monsters, recover the lost treasures of the realm, and bed the most comely womenfolk.
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very fun and fast paced story
- By JJP on 02-26-24
By: Eric Vall
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Dragon Conjurer
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Alex Perone, Marissa Parness
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I was just your average college anthropology student. I went to class, worked my minimum-wage job, and studied for exams. Until I discovered that monsters are real and that I can summon the most powerful of them all: dragons. Now, I’m a Dragon Conjurer working for a secret agency/academy that protects the world from monsters behind the scenes, and two of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever met are in my squad and super into me. And it seems that they don’t mind sharing. Life is about to become awesome.
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Is Eric even trying anymore?
- By kevin on 12-29-20
By: Eric Vall
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Wrath of the Dragon
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Actors Everywhere
- Length: 8 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I was prepared to die in that last fire I fought in Tucson. I’d saved as many civilians as I could when the flames finally devoured me, but then I woke up in a vast world called Dracoria with a beautiful angel beside me. Things have only gotten crazier from there.
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one of Eric vall's best
- By Amazon Customer on 02-28-23
By: Eric Vall
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Apocalyptic Pirates
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Delilah Stanfield, Jack Douglas
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
They said it was just a meteor storm. Then the storm turned into a cataclysmic event as giant rocks crashed into the Earth. And dragons came crawling out of every one of them. Lots and lots of radioactive dragons. Now, nowhere but the ocean is safe, and home is an eight thousand mile journey across the seas. Even if I have to go full pirate, save some damsels in distress, and plunder to survive, I’m making it home in one piece.
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story
- By Amazon Customer on 10-21-24
By: Eric Vall
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Metal Mage
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Christopher Boucher, Jessica Threet
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
This magical world is about to have an industrial revolution. Get pulled from a life of 20th century boredom and thrust into a fantasy world. Find out there are a bunch of powerful monsters and evil wizards intent on killing everyone. Use new magical powers of earth and metal to craft awesome armor, swords, and guns. Kill the bad guys, become a hero, and have a harem of hot women.
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Couldn't listen anymore after 3 hours.
- By Michael on 06-15-19
By: Eric Vall
-
Princess Master
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Alex Perone, Marissa Parness
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hi. My name’s Joe, and yeah...I’m a plumber. Things were going just fine, until I got pulled into this crazy fantasy world by a genie who seemed to think I was this “Hero of Legend”. Now I have to collect all the princesses of Fairyland, bind them to me using this crazy...uhhh...kinky...uhhhh...“ritual”, and then use their combined powers to defeat the evil demon Chernabog. I guess you could call this a magical pipe-laying adventure.
-
-
Dumb characters fumble through everything.
- By Bryan Gallagher on 08-22-20
By: Eric Vall
-
Werewolf Knight
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Alyssa Poon, Jack Douglas
- Length: 12 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A newcomer hath arrived from the faraway land of ‘New Jersey’ to our noble kingdom of Lupercalia. Hank Baker, chosen by the Moon Goddess Herself to serve as Her knight champion! Transported here across vast distances by Her blessing, Hank, alone among red-blooded commoners, possesses the gift of were-shifting to battle the endless hordes of monsters, recover the lost treasures of the realm, and bed the most comely womenfolk.
-
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very fun and fast paced story
- By JJP on 02-26-24
By: Eric Vall
-
Dragon Conjurer
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Alex Perone, Marissa Parness
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I was just your average college anthropology student. I went to class, worked my minimum-wage job, and studied for exams. Until I discovered that monsters are real and that I can summon the most powerful of them all: dragons. Now, I’m a Dragon Conjurer working for a secret agency/academy that protects the world from monsters behind the scenes, and two of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever met are in my squad and super into me. And it seems that they don’t mind sharing. Life is about to become awesome.
-
-
Is Eric even trying anymore?
- By kevin on 12-29-20
By: Eric Vall
-
Wrath of the Dragon
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Actors Everywhere
- Length: 8 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I was prepared to die in that last fire I fought in Tucson. I’d saved as many civilians as I could when the flames finally devoured me, but then I woke up in a vast world called Dracoria with a beautiful angel beside me. Things have only gotten crazier from there.
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one of Eric vall's best
- By Amazon Customer on 02-28-23
By: Eric Vall
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Lottery King
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Jessica Threet, Christopher Boucher
- Length: 10 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I never imagined I’d win this big playing the lottery. Then, I bought a ticket that would change my life forever, and it’s not only riches I’m rolling in now. But being the first human king of the Eternal Realm comes with its own challenges, and there’s plenty of species who’d like to see my head on a spike.
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Great 1st Book
- By Jeffery Alan Browning, II on 01-10-23
By: Eric Vall
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Doomsday Hunter
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Alex Perone, Marissa Parness
- Length: 7 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Step 1 - Travel to a different dimension on verge of destruction. Step 2 - Save dimension from doomsday event. Step 3 - Find the Wayfarer woman to take back so their dimension stabilizes. Step 4 - Bind Wayfarer woman to you for bonus powers and abilities. Step 5 - Get paid and then go back to step one.
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Spoilers
- By Jaime Velazquez on 06-18-20
By: Eric Vall
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Maid for You
- A Lamia Romance for Men
- By: Virgil Knightley, Peter North
- Narrated by: Raya Kane, Richard Brock
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Arthur Cain was a hero to his city, the most accomplished and respected of the firefighters in his entire district. But when a call comes in from the so-called "Halfbreed Heights", the monsterfolk part of the city, Arthur's life gets flip-turned upside down.
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Prostitution with extra steps
- By Lostmidwesterner on 09-03-24
By: Virgil Knightley, and others
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Villain for Hire Omnibus 1
- Babes and Badguys
- By: Jay Aury
- Narrated by: Andrew Pond, Ellory Lane, Edward Black
- Length: 21 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
As a villain for hire I followed those rules, facing down heroes in scripted fights to make them look good for the press and brand deals. Sure, losing every time was a pain, but the money was good. Well, decent. And it kept real heroes off my back. Well, usually.
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The audio in book 2 is beyond scuffed
- By kyle on 02-04-25
By: Jay Aury
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Son of the Hero King
- Awakening, Book 1
- By: Hikaru Genji
- Narrated by: Sylvester Frost, Ellory Lane
- Length: 27 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Draconic blood burns in his veins. After an aimless life, he found himself reborn in a new world of monsters and magic as the Heir of a Kingdom. Now, as Sol Dragona Luxuria, the Sol heir of Lustburg, he will one day rise to be Humanity's leader. His first task is to Awaken, then prove his strength during the coming of age ceremony. However, while he has many supporters, enemies lurk in the shadows. Follow Sol as he ascends in power. There'll be Love, there'll be Lust, but there'll also be Blood.
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MC does nothing the whole story
- By Anonymous User on 06-25-24
By: Hikaru Genji
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Chronicles Of Empyrea Omnibus: Books 1-4
- By: Michael Dalton
- Narrated by: Byron Ormond, Kat Riley
- Length: 45 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I don’t know who I am. I only know what I need to be. I awoke in a tomb. I had nothing but a big sword and uncertain memories from uncertain lives. I was a great warrior who wandered this land before being killed by an ageless tyrant wizard-king. I was a warrior of a very different sort, who lived in a city of steel and glass.
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You really don't like your MC...
- By Anonymous User on 05-16-24
By: Michael Dalton
What listeners say about Okay, but Try Not to Murder Anyone
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Hacnslac
- 06-23-24
a bit slow
overall good but overly descriptive, as if the intended reader had no world experience. made it seem slow. i think sex scenes were the only thing that bumped it out of the 12 year old market classification. great narration, with very good character seperation.
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