Okay, but Try Not to Murder Anyone
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Narrated by:
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C.C. Thompson
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JD Tanner
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By:
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Eric Vall
About this listen
My days used to be filled with working my minimum wage job at a local shipping store, but one night, I was in the wrong place at the right time and came into possession of a weird metal bracelet.
The good news: Now I suddenly have a superpower.
The bad news: A vicious family of mobsters, clandestine government agencies, and uber wealthy treasure hunters all want to tear the bracelet from my dead arm.
The worse news: I have no idea how to handle my new power, and I’m going to have to defeat the bad guys without hurting anyone who doesn’t deserve it.
Disclaimer: This is a slow-burn harem series.
©2021 Eric Vall (P)2024 Eric VallListeners also enjoyed...
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Dumb characters fumble through everything.
- By Bryan Gallagher on 08-22-20
By: Eric Vall
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Metal Mage
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Christopher Boucher, Jessica Threet
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
This magical world is about to have an industrial revolution. Get pulled from a life of 20th century boredom and thrust into a fantasy world. Find out there are a bunch of powerful monsters and evil wizards intent on killing everyone. Use new magical powers of earth and metal to craft awesome armor, swords, and guns. Kill the bad guys, become a hero, and have a harem of hot women.
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Couldn't listen anymore after 3 hours.
- By Michael on 06-15-19
By: Eric Vall
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Werewolf Knight
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Alyssa Poon, Jack Douglas
- Length: 12 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A newcomer hath arrived from the faraway land of ‘New Jersey’ to our noble kingdom of Lupercalia. Hank Baker, chosen by the Moon Goddess Herself to serve as Her knight champion! Transported here across vast distances by Her blessing, Hank, alone among red-blooded commoners, possesses the gift of were-shifting to battle the endless hordes of monsters, recover the lost treasures of the realm, and bed the most comely womenfolk.
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very fun and fast paced story
- By JJP on 02-26-24
By: Eric Vall
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The Alpha: Protect. Procreate. Prevail.
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Robert L. Bradvica, Alyssa Poon
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I was just a nerd for crying out loud. A college student just doing his best to survive. I can’t be a werewolf. I have midterms next week. But apparently fate has plans for me, because one day I was just Jesse Rafe, and the next day I’m The Alpha, the legendary were shifter who is meant to impregnate every possible shifter species omega female and rule the world. If I don’t get killed by another alpha first, of course.
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Super easy, barely an Inconvenience
- By kevin on 10-04-21
By: Eric Vall
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Wrath of the Dragon
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Actors Everywhere
- Length: 8 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I was prepared to die in that last fire I fought in Tucson. I’d saved as many civilians as I could when the flames finally devoured me, but then I woke up in a vast world called Dracoria with a beautiful angel beside me. Things have only gotten crazier from there.
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one of Eric vall's best
- By Amazon Customer on 02-28-23
By: Eric Vall
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Without Law
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Christopher Boucher, Jessica Threet
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When the world ended, former Army Ranger Connor “Tav” McTavish thought he’d prepped for everything. He was wrong. When roving gangs destroy all semblance of law and order, and the strong take what they want from the weak, Connor will find himself as the sole protector of an all girls' college hidden away in the Green Mountains of Vermont. Now, his only chance at survival is to show group female liberal arts snowflakes what a real man can do, and turn all four of them into survival and combat experts.
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Ok, but nothing special. +points for rec. blooper
- By Kindle Customer on 06-27-19
By: Eric Vall
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Princess Master
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Alex Perone, Marissa Parness
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Hi. My name’s Joe, and yeah...I’m a plumber. Things were going just fine, until I got pulled into this crazy fantasy world by a genie who seemed to think I was this “Hero of Legend”. Now I have to collect all the princesses of Fairyland, bind them to me using this crazy...uhhh...kinky...uhhhh...“ritual”, and then use their combined powers to defeat the evil demon Chernabog. I guess you could call this a magical pipe-laying adventure.
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Dumb characters fumble through everything.
- By Bryan Gallagher on 08-22-20
By: Eric Vall
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Metal Mage
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Christopher Boucher, Jessica Threet
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
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Performance
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Story
This magical world is about to have an industrial revolution. Get pulled from a life of 20th century boredom and thrust into a fantasy world. Find out there are a bunch of powerful monsters and evil wizards intent on killing everyone. Use new magical powers of earth and metal to craft awesome armor, swords, and guns. Kill the bad guys, become a hero, and have a harem of hot women.
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Couldn't listen anymore after 3 hours.
- By Michael on 06-15-19
By: Eric Vall
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Werewolf Knight
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Alyssa Poon, Jack Douglas
- Length: 12 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A newcomer hath arrived from the faraway land of ‘New Jersey’ to our noble kingdom of Lupercalia. Hank Baker, chosen by the Moon Goddess Herself to serve as Her knight champion! Transported here across vast distances by Her blessing, Hank, alone among red-blooded commoners, possesses the gift of were-shifting to battle the endless hordes of monsters, recover the lost treasures of the realm, and bed the most comely womenfolk.
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very fun and fast paced story
- By JJP on 02-26-24
By: Eric Vall
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The Alpha: Protect. Procreate. Prevail.
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Robert L. Bradvica, Alyssa Poon
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I was just a nerd for crying out loud. A college student just doing his best to survive. I can’t be a werewolf. I have midterms next week. But apparently fate has plans for me, because one day I was just Jesse Rafe, and the next day I’m The Alpha, the legendary were shifter who is meant to impregnate every possible shifter species omega female and rule the world. If I don’t get killed by another alpha first, of course.
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Super easy, barely an Inconvenience
- By kevin on 10-04-21
By: Eric Vall
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Wrath of the Dragon
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Actors Everywhere
- Length: 8 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I was prepared to die in that last fire I fought in Tucson. I’d saved as many civilians as I could when the flames finally devoured me, but then I woke up in a vast world called Dracoria with a beautiful angel beside me. Things have only gotten crazier from there.
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one of Eric vall's best
- By Amazon Customer on 02-28-23
By: Eric Vall
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Doomsday Hunter
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Alex Perone, Marissa Parness
- Length: 7 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Step 1 - Travel to a different dimension on verge of destruction. Step 2 - Save dimension from doomsday event. Step 3 - Find the Wayfarer woman to take back so their dimension stabilizes. Step 4 - Bind Wayfarer woman to you for bonus powers and abilities. Step 5 - Get paid and then go back to step one.
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Spoilers
- By Jaime Velazquez on 06-18-20
By: Eric Vall
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To Valor's Bid
- Monster Girls in Space, Book 1
- By: M. Tress
- Narrated by: Jack Smith, Anne Marie Lebeaur
- Length: 18 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Join Desmond as he learns to manipulate mana—a source of power that exists beyond the reach of most people in the universe—meets vastly different alien species, risks life and limb, all while trying to pass classes. If he’s lucky, he will find someone he can trust out here amongst the weird. If he's very lucky, maybe someone he can love.
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Boring magic academy book
- By A.E. Perkins on 12-27-24
By: M. Tress
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Evil Genius
- Becoming the Apex Supervillain
- By: Logan Jacobs
- Narrated by: Christopher Boucher, Jessica Threet, Alex Perone, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Supervillains are murdering people in the streets, but yet superheroes are more concerned with gaining popularity than bringing the villains to justice. These villains think they are above the law and that nobody can stop them, but they never planned for me. I’ll murder every one of them with my powersuit, traps, and sidekicks. And if killing bad guys makes me a villain in the eyes of the heroes, well...I’ll destroy them too.
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I love the narrator's. No story.
- By JJ on 05-14-20
By: Logan Jacobs
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Soulbound 1: A Haremlit Fantasy Adventure
- Soulbound, Book 1
- By: Cassius Lange
- Narrated by: Gabriel Michael, Jessica Threet
- Length: 15 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
After having kept my hands to myself for years, It's time to enjoy myself a bit as well with an enemy-turned-ally magician who is as smart as she is beautiful, a bar owner who can equally hold herself in a fight as much as with liquor, and the only other survivor other than myself, a golden-haired healer who's even more damaged than I am. Change looms behind Greystone's colossal walls as guilds vanish, arena fighters wind up dead, and whispers of a great war permeate the streets. My name is Cade, a man driven by vengeance, and I am going to bring it all down!
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I just don't understand.
- By Bishop on 04-14-24
By: Cassius Lange
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Master of the Monsterverse: Complete Omnibus (1-6)
- By: Jamie Hawke
- Narrated by: Daniel Wisniewski, Rebecca Woods, Tanner DeBruyne, and others
- Length: 40 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
If you fall into the latter category, you get me. There I was, simply working to program my visual novel and find my muse, when BAM! Monster girl in my closet. Needless to say, she changed my life. For the better at first, sure. But then there was the hunter, and the crazy lady who spoke of another world where the monsters live.
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Amazing
- By Barrett M Cleveland on 01-04-25
By: Jamie Hawke
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The Hero Game
- A LitRPG Superhero Adventure: Volume One: Tutorial
- By: August Aird
- Narrated by: Hannah Trusty
- Length: 6 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Jack Jenkins is a normal college student living in a world filled with super powered beings. Until one fateful day in the library throws his whole life into chaos. An ancient and beguiling cosmic visitor bonds with him, granting him extraordinary abilities. The only catch: he has to earn his powers like he was in a video game. And he has to learn on the fly.
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He should have gone with the hero name “The Player”
- By Randy Smith on 12-10-24
By: August Aird
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Summoner
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Joshua Story
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Gryff never knew he was the most powerful summoner in the world until a rogue monster attacked his village. Now he's been recruited into the top magical academy, beautiful women are breaking down his dorm-room door, and the headmaster has big, big plans for him. Instead of summoners being maligned by society, Gryff is in a position to make them revered and honored.
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story not very good
- By Darren Silvers on 01-21-19
By: Eric Vall
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Magic Girls of Multiverse Inn
- A Reverse Portal Fantasy
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: C.C. Thompson, JD Tanner
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
No one ever said navigating a magical multiverse would be easy, though. The Grymm is a deadly place, where gorgeous women are bound to lives of servitude and salesmanship, and nothing is ever as innocent as it seems. But having a highly coveted Venturer’s badge on my chest sure seems to be my ticket to riches, glory, and exotic women with magic powers beyond my wildest dreams.
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Unique concept for accessing the multiverse
- By bill on 10-29-24
By: Eric Vall
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Dragon Conjurer
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Alex Perone, Marissa Parness
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I was just your average college anthropology student. I went to class, worked my minimum-wage job, and studied for exams. Until I discovered that monsters are real and that I can summon the most powerful of them all: dragons. Now, I’m a Dragon Conjurer working for a secret agency/academy that protects the world from monsters behind the scenes, and two of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever met are in my squad and super into me. And it seems that they don’t mind sharing. Life is about to become awesome.
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Is Eric even trying anymore?
- By kevin on 12-29-20
By: Eric Vall
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Dead Freeze
- By: Misty Vixen, Lara X. Lust
- Narrated by: Ally Frey
- Length: 8 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Max Slater is a man on a mission. A life of salvaging tech and fighting horrors in deep space has given him nerves of steel, but now he finds himself coming up against the toughest job of his life. On a frozen, not-quite-dead planet, a desperate salvage operation has gone wrong. Max has been hired to investigate. What's left of civilization badly needs that salvage. But when his own rescue operation goes just as wrong, he finds himself fighting for his life.
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Thoroughly mediocre
- By Chris on 01-08-25
By: Misty Vixen, and others
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Hexblade Warlock
- Quintasia Academy, Book 1
- By: Jack Spry, Marcus Sloss
- Narrated by: Richard Brock, Raya Kane
- Length: 17 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Survive. It's all Seven can do. An outcast through no fault of his own, he's forced to work the hardest fields, do the jobs no one else wants to. So, when war comes to his land, he has no qualms enlisting. After all, his life can’t get any harder, can it?
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"You don't own me"...
- By GrimReaperD13 on 09-03-24
By: Jack Spry, and others
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Apocalyptic Pirates
- By: Eric Vall
- Narrated by: Delilah Stanfield, Jack Douglas
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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They said it was just a meteor storm. Then the storm turned into a cataclysmic event as giant rocks crashed into the Earth. And dragons came crawling out of every one of them. Lots and lots of radioactive dragons. Now, nowhere but the ocean is safe, and home is an eight thousand mile journey across the seas. Even if I have to go full pirate, save some damsels in distress, and plunder to survive, I’m making it home in one piece.
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story
- By Amazon Customer on 10-21-24
By: Eric Vall
What listeners say about Okay, but Try Not to Murder Anyone
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Hacnslac
- 06-23-24
a bit slow
overall good but overly descriptive, as if the intended reader had no world experience. made it seem slow. i think sex scenes were the only thing that bumped it out of the 12 year old market classification. great narration, with very good character seperation.
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