Perishables
The Withrow Chronicles, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Jack Wayne
About this listen
Winner of the 2012 Laine Cunningham Novel Award!
Everybody hates their homeowner’s association, and nobody likes a zombie apocalypse. Put the two together, and Withrow Surrett is having a truly craptastic night.
Not to mention the fact that he’s got one big secret to keep from the idiots in his home - Withrow is a vampire.
Perishables has been called by some “a gripping examination into suburban ennui set in a milieu of postmodern apocalyptic horror”.
Not really. Those people would be navel-gazing idiots. Perishables is a bust-your-gut funny collection of three stories about trust, human and undead relationships, what community really means, and zombies.
A LOT of freakin’ zombies.
Fans of The Black Knight Chronicles, The Tome of Bill, and Fred, the Vampire Accountant will love this series.
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- Unabridged
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The living dead are more alive than ever! Zombies have become more than an iconic monster for the 21st century: They are now a phenomenon constantly revealing as much about ourselves - and our fascination with death, resurrection, and survival - as our love for the supernatural or post-apocalyptic speculation. Our most imaginative literary minds have been devoured by these incredible creatures and produced exciting, insightful, and unflinching new works of zombie fiction.
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A well blended mix
- By The Lone Mopper on 07-30-15
By: Neil Gaiman, and others
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Hold Me Closer Necromancer
- By: Lish McBride
- Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross, Chris Sorensen
- Length: 10 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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The riveting debut work from celebrated newcomer Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer drops a seemingly average boy into the adventure of a lifetime. Sam can’t complain about much, even if his job isn’t the most glamorous one around. But his world gets a whole lot more complicated when he crosses paths with Douglas, a necromancer who gets paid to raise the dead. Douglas thinks Sam might have the right touch for necromancing, and when this turns out to be all too true, Sam faces unimaginable dangers.
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I will love you all night long...
- By Amazon Customer on 10-08-12
By: Lish McBride
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Bitten
- The Otherworld Series, Book 1
- By: Kelley Armstrong
- Narrated by: Aasne Vigesaa
- Length: 12 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Elena Michaels is the world’s only female werewolf. And she’s tired of it. Tired of a life spent hiding and protecting, a life where her most important job is hunting down rogue werewolves. Tired of a world that not only accepts the worst in her–her temper, her violence—but requires it. Worst of all, she realizes she’s growing content with that life, with being that person.
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Definitely written in the 2000s
- By Kathy Kuwano on 07-16-22
By: Kelley Armstrong
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Croak
- By: Gina Damico
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Fed up with her wild behavior, 16-year-old Lex’s parents ship her off to upstate New York to live with her Uncle Mort for the summer, hoping that a few months of dirty farm work will whip her back into shape. But Uncle Mort’s true occupation is much dirtier than shoveling manure. He’s a Grim Reaper. And he’s going to teach Lex the family business. She quickly assimilates into the peculiar world of Croak, a town populated by reapers who deliver souls from this life to the next.
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Juvenile
- By Mark Faine on 09-23-13
By: Gina Damico
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The Hospital: The First Mountain Man Story
- By: Keith C. Blackmore
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 1 hr and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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A survivor of undead suburbia, mountain man Augustus “Gus” Berry is extremely careful when it comes to his actions and movements. He takes no chances and painstakingly weighs every decision—until he sets out for the hospital at the edge of town, hoping to discover a treasure trove of essential supplies. Soon, Gus will experience terror the likes of which he's never encountered before . . .
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40 ROLLS OF ASS CLEANING GOODNESS
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 04-25-15
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My Life as a White Trash Zombie
- By: Diana Rowland
- Narrated by: Allison McLemore
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Teenage delinquent Angel Crawford lives with her redneck father in the swamps of southern Louisiana. She's a high school dropout, addicted to drugs and alcohol, and has a police record a mile long. But when she's made into a zombie after a car crash, her addictions disappear, except for her all-consuming need to stay "alive".
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It's Not F**king Rocket Science
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 09-22-13
By: Diana Rowland
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Graveyard Shift
- By: Michael F. Haspil
- Narrated by: Michael Kramer
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Alex Menkaure, former pharaoh and mummy, and his vampire partner, Marcus, born in ancient Rome, are vice cops in a special Miami police unit. They fight to keep the streets safe from criminal vampires, shape-shifters, bootleg blood dealers, and anti-vampire vigilantes. When poisoned artificial blood drives vampires to murder, the city threatens to tear itself apart. Only an unlikely alliance with former opponents can give Alex and Marcus a fighting chance against an ancient vampire conspiracy.
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Vampires and humans living in harmony?
- By Anne on 03-23-18
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Indexing
- Indexing, Book 1
- By: Seanan McGuire
- Narrated by: Mary Robinette Kowal
- Length: 12 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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For most people, the story of their lives is just that: the accumulation of time, encounters, and actions into a cohesive whole. But for an unfortunate few, that day-to-day existence is affected - perhaps infected is a better word - by memetic incursion: where fairy tale narratives become reality, often with disastrous results.
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Boring
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 01-23-18
By: Seanan McGuire
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Bloodshot
- Cheshire Red Reports, Book 1
- By: Cherie Priest
- Narrated by: Natalie Ross
- Length: 11 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Raylene Pendle (AKA Cheshire Red), a vampire and world-renowned thief, doesn’t usually hang with her own kind. She’s too busy stealing priceless art and rare jewels. But when the infuriatingly charming Ian Stott asks for help, Raylene finds him impossible to resist - even though Ian doesn’t want precious artifacts. He wants her to retrieve missing government files: documents that deal with the secret biological experiments that left Ian blind. What Raylene doesn’t bargain for is a case that takes her from the frozen outskirts of Minneapolis to the mean streets of Atlanta.
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A notch above
- By Eivind on 01-31-11
By: Cherie Priest
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Cold City
- Repairman Jack: Early Years Trilogy, Book 1
- By: F. Paul Wilson
- Narrated by: Alexander Cendese
- Length: 11 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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If you've never read a Repairman Jack novel, this is the place to begin. It's 1990. A twenty-one-year-old named Jack has dropped out of college, leaving his old life behind to build a new one in New York City. Manhattan's rough edges are jagged enough to shred any unwary newcomer, but perhaps not one who is determined to stay off the grid, at any cost, in the busiest metropolis on earth. And to do so, he'll have to take jobs of a less than legal nature.
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Fun, as long you don't think too much
- By Andrew Pollack on 01-17-14
By: F. Paul Wilson
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Dead to Me
- Simon Canderous, Book 1
- By: Anton Strout
- Narrated by: David DeVries
- Length: 9 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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A new urban fantasy featuring a man working on the right side of the law - with talents that come from left field. Psychometry - the power to touch an object and divine information about its history - has meant a life of petty crime for Simon Canderous, but now he's gone over to the good side. At New York's underfunded and (mostly) secret Department of Extraordinary Affairs, he's learning about red tape, office politics, and the basics of paranormal investigation. But it's not the paperwork that has him breathless.
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Fun - worth the credit
- By BikeVON on 08-03-12
By: Anton Strout
What listeners say about Perishables
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- TU
- 05-22-18
Need more soon!
I was given this free review copy audio book at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
So, I am a HUGE fan of stories like the Black Knight Chronicles, Bill the Vampire and such. So it is no surprise that this book entertained the hell out of me. It is well narrated which helps bring the snark out of this set of stories that don't take themselves TOO seriously. They still have heart, though, so it's not all just snark and fluff. Anyway, this is a really fun and entertaining listen that is worth your time.
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- LITRPG Audiobook Reviews
- 04-29-18
A tubby vampire and his dog, Smiles, fight Zeds
OK, this is a one of those rare books that you read/listen to and wonder why the concept has never been applied before. By that I mean, why have we never had a vampire as part of a home owners association? Just kidding, well maybe not considering we have books dedicated to Vampire accountants and a slacker Vampire named Bill. That Home Owners thing wouldn't really stand out all that much in retrospect. What I am talking about is a fat vampire. What we've had are all the pretty sparkling ones, or the rat faced Nosferatu types . . . .no, I'm digressing again. I think that I mean to say we haven't had enough vampire versus zombie action! Yeah, that's it.
Ok, can you see the dilemma I have with this book? It just takes a lot of tropes and flushes them down the toilet and creates something new and fun. We end up with an overweight vamp who has a "service dog" named Smiles for a companion. Withrow Surrett, the vampire, just wants to get on with his unlife and be left alone. Unfortunately, he is a part of that pesky Home Owners thing and he has to make appearances.
During one of those meetings a zombie outbreak occurs, I can't call it a zompocalypse because the world doesn't end. During the outbreak, Surrett discovers that the Zeds avoid him like a pimple faced nerd at the homecoming dance. After an internal debate, he opts to help his neighbors out, and starts stomping zed butts.
Thus ends the first section of the book. Yeah, it is broken into sections. You can tell by the recipies that sets them apart. I won't comment on the recipies because I am a meat and taters kind of guy and my idea of gourmet is a hamburger cooked on a grill. I will say that they look interesting, and if we could get some of the ingredients gluten free and completely organic my wife will probably make them one day!
Part two focuses on Jennifer McCordy who is, refreshingly, a strong mentally healthy woman who focuses on what is going on around her and not acting like a panic stricken bunny. She has more important things to do than dying or letting those she cares about bite the big one by being bitten by a big one. Ahem. This pretty much takes place at the same time Witherow is doing his bit for the HOA.
Part three picks up several years later when yet another outbreak occurs. This time Witherow and Jenny meet, and they team up to take down more Walkers, Biters, Munchers, and zeds than the cast of the Walking Dead.
This book is really humurous, and I gave a huge belly laugh more than three or four times. The rest of the book was peppered with snickers, guffaws, chuckles, and chortles, but no titters. I do not titter. You might though, so be careful. This book does have a complete story to it, but it seems to be setting up a larger series ( I haven't looked yet, but I'm betting it is a whole series or is going to be) which is just fine by me. I could handle listening to more stuff from Jennifer and Witherow. If there are going to be more books, can we get more Smiles? I just love dogs.
Jack Wayne, no relation to Bruce that I know of, does an outstanding job in the department of narration. He really brings this book into (un)life, and makes our vampire wittier and more sympathetic than just the eritten word could do. You know, by using inflections and stuff. He's pretty good at it! Seriously, he made an already fun book even MORE fun (see, correct grammer, I bet you were expecting me to say "funner"). I will have to keep an eye out for more of his work. When I find a decent narrator I try to see what other things they have done. If this does become a series I'd love to see him do the whole thing. Even though I did receive a promo code for this review it in no way influenced my considerations of the material, and in fact, inspired me to be more honest. In fact, getting a code generally makes me harsher as a reviewer as I am more often concerned what someone like Me will decide based on my review.
If this review helped, please press the YES below. Thank you immensely!!!
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4 people found this helpful
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- SLemay
- 06-21-18
wierd yet cute vampire zombie
at first this book confused me because zombies with a vampire and it's not terrifying. I had to listen to it a few times just to make sure I got the whole story. then I found out that I kind of loved it because of the way it tied in together. it was a really cute light read excellent
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- lynda
- 05-01-18
A Good Listen
I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher and found interesting. Zombie books are not my favourite books. I did enjoy this one though. There were quirky characters and some humour with enough plot to keep me interested. I listened to it while I was driving and found it quite entertaining. I will check out book 2.
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- willee
- 05-02-18
Fun Listen
I totally enjoyed this book and great characters the zombies, Withrow (vampire), his dog Smiles and Jennifer. I really liked the part when the zombies talk. It is different apocalyptic with much humor broken into 3 parts. Good narration and look forward to listen to next book. Recommend to anyone who enjoys different fun zombies and vampires. I was gifted this book and voluntarily left this review. Thank you
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- Dominique
- 08-13-18
Funny and entertaining
A vampire who has the power to wipe memories, and just wants to live a normal life. That's all I'm telling in the hopes that it will be enough to convince you to try out this witty and fast moving book. Narrator Jack Wayne was a joy to listen to, offering a gravely, world weary vampire for your listening pleasure. I'd love to read more by this author.
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- T.J. Phillisp
- 05-07-18
a+++
an out standing performance by one of my favorite narrators. b bit to short I like a 10 to 15 hour book . vampires , zombies , and. a underemployed I.T. professional this could go anywhere from here. look FWD to more
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- Alex Garrett
- 06-22-18
3 times the charm
enjoyed these stories very funny entertaining. would recommend to everyone. Wayne had me giggling even after I put it down. Definitely worth the time.
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- J.R. Snyder
- 10-18-18
Delightful!
This is a thoroughly enjoyable set of stories with great characters, good humor, and just enough action. That it manages to successfully explore different takes on the Zombie apocalypse theme successfully in one volume is no small feat. Withrow is a poignant and likeable lead.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Michelle Titherington VanDaley
- 05-02-18
Good Zombie Tales!
This book contains 3 funny and engaging stories involving zombies. They are different than the norm and I enjoyed the world the author created. The narrator did a fantastic job bringing the story and characters to life. I look forward to more.
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