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Portrait of the Nonartist
- Vale Short Stories, Book 8
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Length: 19 mins
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Publisher's summary
Mom and dad wanted him to write the next great American novel, so he had a typewriter gathering dust in a closet. They wanted him to compose a symphony that would get him to Julliard or at least U of I, so the piano sat in the basement (alongside the money pit trombone) until its keys stuck. They wanted him to DJ the local radio and work his way up to NBC or even the Tonight Show as a comedian if he did enough stand-up. They focused on so many routes to his future fortune (which would be theirs as well) and future fame (the source of their future fortune) that he ended up rebelling his way into mediocrity. In telling him he could do anything, they told him he was good for nothing but their own pleasure, their own wealth, their own celebrity, their own power.
But he could drive a truck, by God. Wasn't that worth giving your life to? Blood and all?
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Home Before Daylight
- My Life on the Road with the Grateful Dead
- By: Steve Parish, Joe Layden - contributor, Bob Weir - foreword
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Steve Parish was never one to walk the straight-and-narrow, even during his childhood growing up in Flushing Meadow, Queens. Busted as a teenager for selling acid in the summer of 1968, Parish landed in Riker's Island. The experience changed him, and after getting out, he did his best to stay out of trouble, securing a job moving music equipment at the New York State Pavilion. The first show he worked was a Grateful Dead concert in July of 1969, and Parish was captivated by the music. A life seemingly headed nowhere had suddenly found its calling.
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Narrator-Blaa
- By MORGAN NOTEL on 10-06-19
By: Steve Parish, and others
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We Had a Little Real Estate Problem
- The Unheralded Story of Native Americans & Comedy
- By: Kliph Nesteroff
- Narrated by: Kliph Nesteroff
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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It was one of the most reliable jokes in Charlie Hill’s stand-up routine: “My people are from Wisconsin. We used to be from New York. We had a little real estate problem.” In We Had a Little Real Estate Problem, acclaimed comedy historian Kliph Nesteroff focuses on one of comedy’s most significant and little-known stories: how, despite having been denied representation in the entertainment industry, Native Americans have influenced and advanced the art form.
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Amazing book!
- By Gregg Anderson on 03-22-21
By: Kliph Nesteroff
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Broken Horses
- A Memoir
- By: Brandi Carlile
- Narrated by: Brandi Carlile
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Brandi Carlile was born into a musically gifted, impoverished family on the outskirts of Seattle and grew up in a constant state of change, moving from house to house, trailer to trailer, 14 times in as many years. Though imperfect in every way, her dysfunctional childhood was as beautiful as it was strange, and as nurturing as it was difficult. At the age of five, Brandi contracted bacterial meningitis, which almost took her life, leaving an indelible mark on her formative years and altering her journey into young adulthood.
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I have almost 2000 audible books and ...
- By M. Lynn on 04-22-21
By: Brandi Carlile
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Paddle Your Own Canoe
- One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois, to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.
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On the need to acknowledge the role luck plays
- By OpenMindedNotCredulous on 11-17-13
By: Nick Offerman
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A Personal Stand
- Observations and Opinions from a Freethinking Roughneck
- By: Trace Adkins
- Narrated by: Alan Sklar
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Country-music superstar Trace Adkins isn't exactly known for holding back whatâ¿¿s on his mind. And if the millions of albums he's sold are any indication, when Trace talks, people listen. Now, in A Personal Stand, Trace Adkins delivers his maverick manifesto on politics, personal responsibility, fame, parenting, being true to yourself, hard work, and the way things ought to be.
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Another Celebrity Story
- By Patricia B Tripoli on 01-13-09
By: Trace Adkins
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Never Look at the Empty Seats
- A Memoir
- By: Charlie Daniels
- Narrated by: Charlie Daniels
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Few artists have left a more indelible mark on America's musical landscape than Charlie Daniels. Listeners will experience a soft, personal side of Charlie Daniels that has never before been documented. In his own words, he presents the path from his post-Depression childhood to performing for millions as one of the most successful country acts of all time and what he has learned along the way.
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Like a Rocking Chair on Charlie's Front porch.
- By BassetMomma on 11-07-17
By: Charlie Daniels
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Liner Notes
- On Parents & Children, Exes & Excess, Death & Decay, & a Few of My Other Favorite Things
- By: Loudon Wainwright III
- Narrated by: Loudon Wainwright III
- Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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A memoir by the influential Grammy Award-winning singer and actor - son of journalist Loudon Wainwright, former husband of Kate McGarrigle and Suzzy Roche, and father of Rufus Wainwright, Martha Wainwright, Lucy Wainwright Roche, and Lexie Kelly Wainwright - a captivating meditation on relationships and creativity from the patriarch of one of America's great musical families. With a career spanning more than four decades, Loudon Wainwright III has established himself as one of the most enduring singer-songwriters who emerged from the late '60s.
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Best ever book for listening
- By Jeff Bernhardt on 10-29-17
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Rick Mercer Final Report
- By: Rick Mercer
- Narrated by: Rick Mercer
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Rick Mercer can always be relied on to provoke a strong reaction - but what he said one fall day in 2017 truly shocked Canada. In a rant posted on social media, the great Canadian satirist announced loud and clear that the 15th season of the Rick Mercer Report - the nation's best-watched and best-loved comedy show - would be the last. This volume brings together never-before-published rants from the last five seasons of the show, plus a selection of the very best rants from earlier years.
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Mercer Hits It Out Of The Ballpark
- By Wade Lancaster on 11-11-19
By: Rick Mercer
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Will
- By: Will Smith, Mark Manson
- Narrated by: Will Smith
- Length: 16 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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One of the most dynamic and globally recognized entertainment forces of our time opens up fully about his life, in a brave and inspiring book that traces his learning curve to a place where outer success, inner happiness, and human connection are aligned. Along the way, Will tells the story in full of one of the most amazing rides through the worlds of music and film that anyone has ever had.
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Will sure loves Will
- By Kejeco on 11-18-21
By: Will Smith, and others
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This Might Get a Little Heavy
- A Memoir
- By: Ralphie May, Nils Parker
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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There was a time when Ralphie May was one of the biggest stand-up comedians in the country, both by ticket sales and by tonnage. While some things changed - Ralphie lost half his body weight - others did not: He will be remembered as one of the most successful comics of his time. Completed just months before his untimely passing, in This Might Get a Little Heavy, Ralphie takes listeners on a behind-the-scenes tour of his life and career, one that winds across the country, over obstacles, beyond heartbreak, and through the golden age of stand-up.
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brilliant and tragic
- By Timothy Trujillo on 08-12-18
By: Ralphie May, and others
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Disney's Land
- Walt Disney and the Invention of the Amusement Park That Changed the World
- By: Richard Snow
- Narrated by: Jacques Roy
- Length: 12 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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This is a spectacular story of error and innovation, a wild ride from a vision to the realization of an iconic cultural landscape. It reflects the park’s uniqueness, but just as strongly that of the man who built it with a watchmaker’s precision, an artist’s conviction, and the desperate, high-hearted recklessness of a riverboat gambler.
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Okay, but better books on the subject
- By J.D. on 12-07-19
By: Richard Snow
What listeners say about Portrait of the Nonartist
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- kutzkai
- 09-02-20
19 Minutes Of Gold
Portrait Of The Non Artist is one of the best short stories by Lancelot Schaubert in my opinion. Again Daniel Dorse does a great job of narrating..
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- Mary Karowski
- 08-05-20
A must for parents everywhere
Ever wonder if you are putting too many expectations on your child? Ever wonder if you are trying too hard to steal them somewhere that you wish you could have been? This is a great short tale of expectations. I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator or publisher
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