Red Green's Beginner's Guide to Women
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Narrated by:
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Red Green
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By:
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Steve Smith
About this listen
Red Green is celebrated as one of the handiest men in North America. But as well as being a purveyor of inventive practical advice on, for example, making a jetpack from two propane tanks, a hybrid car from recycled golf carts and satellite dishes, and a kiddie ride from a bar stool attached to the agitator of a washing machine, Red Green is also noted for his insights into that most difficult of assembly jobs, human relationships.
His previous best-selling tome, How to Do Everything, showed Red dipping his toe into the self-help genre with such items as "how to make dinner more romantic" and "the easy way to raise children." Now Red Green - a veteran husband (of Bernice), father, soul-searcher, philosopher, and observer - has devoted an entire book to sharing with other battle-weary and confused males all he has learned about the differences between the sexes.
Set out in approximately chronological order, from teen dating to the last words of men ("You know, honey, in the last couple of years, you've really packed on the beef"), this is the testosterone owner's manual to every aspect of finding a mate and then learning to deal with her growing disappointment in you. The man who has already shared such morsels as "if you can't be handsome, be handy" and "quando omni flunkus moritati" ("When all else fails, play dead") here presents a PhD in life-lessons about the most vexing problem facing mankind today, or any day: women.
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Dead is dead. Missing is gone. When Felix Brewer meets nineteen-year-old Bernadette "Bambi" Gottschalk at a Valentine's Day dance in 1959, he charms her with wild promises, some of which he actually keeps. Thanks to his lucrative - if not all legal - businesses, she and their three little girls live in luxury. But on the Fourth of July in 1976, Bambi's comfortable world implodes when Felix, facing prison, vanishes. Though Bambi has no idea where her husband - or his money - might be, she suspects one woman does: his devoted young mistress, Julie.
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Cannot rate this highly enough!
- By C. Vincent on 03-05-14
By: Laura Lippman
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The Longest Date
- Life as a Wife
- By: Cindy Chupack
- Narrated by: Cindy Chupack, Ian Wallach
- Length: 4 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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After having endured enough emotional wreckage in her search for true love to fill a book ( The New York Times bestseller The Between Boyfriends Book), two magazine columns, and five seasons of scripts for Sex and the City, Cindy Chupack finally, mercifully, at the age of thirty-nine, met the Perfect Man. The perfect companion for anyone navigating a marriage (or even just contemplating one), The Longest Date marks the welcome return of one of our most gifted and captivating comic writers.
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Meh...
- By Jessica K. on 11-07-18
By: Cindy Chupack
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The Art of the Pimp
- One Man's Search for Love, Sex, and Money
- By: Dennis Hof
- Narrated by: Kevin Stillwell
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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Dennis Hof, proprietor of the world-famous Moonlite Bunny Ranch brothel and the P.T. Barnum of prostitution, charts his path to fame and infamy, while dispensing homespun wisdom about sex, sales, money, and how to live as the country's most recognizable pimp. In The Art of the Pimp, Dennis Hof offers a hilarious, insightful, behind-the-scenes look at life as the proprietor of The Moonlight Bunny Ranch, the world's most famous legal brothel, and recounts his chaotic life.
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if you love the sex industry then yell love this
- By Amazon Customer on 11-28-17
By: Dennis Hof
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The Last Rescue
- How Faith and Love Saved a Navy SEAL Sniper
- By: Howard Wasdin
- Narrated by: Daniel Butler
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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The Last Rescue is an unforgettable tale of brokenness and healing, going deep into the firing line of modern warfare, through the agony of broken marriages, and onto a path of redemption and love. With a clear-eyed view of the inevitability of heartache and the power of God's faithfulness, Howard and Debbie remind us that no matter what our circumstances, we should never, ever, give up hope.
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Narrators
- By Trey Lewis on 03-27-15
By: Howard Wasdin
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Troublemaker
- Surviving Hollywood and Scientology
- By: Leah Remini
- Narrated by: Leah Remini
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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The outspoken actress, talk show host, and reality television star offers up a no-holds-barred memoir, including an eye-opening insider account of her tumultuous and heart-wrenching 30-year-plus association with the Church of Scientology.
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This book is fascinating and funny! Fantastic!
- By Kim on 11-04-15
By: Leah Remini
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The Wrong End of the Table
- A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit In
- By: Ayser Salman, Reza Aslan - foreword
- Narrated by: Ayser Salman, Assaf Cohen
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
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Not what I was looking for
- By Amazon Customer on 09-01-22
By: Ayser Salman, and others
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Tied Up in Knots
- How Getting What They Wanted Has Made Women Miserable
- By: Andrea Tantaros
- Narrated by: Andrea Tantaros
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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In this shocking, funny, and bluntly honest tour of today's gender discontents, Andrea Tantaros, one of Fox News' most popular and outspoken stars, exposes how the rightful feminist pursuit of equality went too far, and how the unintended pitfalls of that power trade have made women (and men!) miserable.
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Not What I Thought It Would Be
- By Kevin on 05-06-16
By: Andrea Tantaros
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And When She Was Good
- By: Laura Lippman
- Narrated by: Linda Emond
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Heloise considers it a blessing to be a person who seldom attracts attention. In her suburb, she's just a mom, the young widow with the forgettable job, who somehow never misses a soccer game. In the state capital, she's the redheaded lobbyist with a good cause and a mediocre track record. But in discreet hotel rooms throughout the area, she's the woman of your dreams - if you can afford the hourly fee. For more than a decade, Heloise believed she was safe, managing to keep up this rigidly compartmentalized life. But her secret life is under siege. One county over, another so-called suburban madam has been found dead in her car, an apparent suicide.
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And When She Was Bad...
- By Carole T. on 08-18-12
By: Laura Lippman
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The Southern Education of a Jersey Girl
- Adventures in Life and Love in the Heart of Dixie
- By: Jaime Primak Sullivan
- Narrated by: Jaime Primak Sullivan
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Jaime Primak Sullivan, a Jersey-bred, tough-as-nails PR maven - and unlikely transplant in an upscale suburb of Birmingham, Alabama - has spent her entire life crossing the line: whether she's pushing the boundaries of what proper Southern ladies consider to be "polite behavior" or literally traversing the Mason-Dixon line in the name of love. She isn't afraid to say what everyone is thinking when it comes to love, sex, friendship, and many other topics that are all too often sugar-coated in polite Southern company.
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Awesome book
- By Gwendolyn on 09-23-16
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Familyhood
- By: Paul Reiser
- Narrated by: Paul Reiser
- Length: 5 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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In Familyhood, Reiser shares his observations on parenting, marriage, and mid-life with the wit, warmth, and humor that he’s so well-known for. From the first experience of sending his two boys off to summer camp to maneuvering the minefield of bad words learned at school, this hilarious new book captures the spirit of familyhood, the logical next frontier for Reiser’s trademark perspective on the universal truths of life, love, and relationships.
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Witty and warm, a pleasurable read
- By Frank on 06-03-11
By: Paul Reiser
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Girl, Wash Your Face
- Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be
- By: Rachel Hollis
- Narrated by: Rachel Hollis
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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As the founder of the lifestyle website TheChicSite.com and CEO of her own media company, Rachel Hollis developed an immense online community by sharing tips for better living while fearlessly revealing the messiness of her own life. Now, in this challenging and inspiring new book, Rachel exposes the 20 lies and misconceptions that too often hold us back from living joyfully and productively.
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More for women who are mothers
- By MeredithNCSU girl on 04-07-18
By: Rachel Hollis
What listeners say about Red Green's Beginner's Guide to Women
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Sarah
- 03-21-21
Big fan of Red Green!
Quondo Omni Flunkus Mortati. Entertaining as sitting in a 12 foot boat on Lake Michigan
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- Christine Cochran
- 09-13-21
Classic Red Green
His voice makes this particularly enjoyable, adds to the jokes, even if some are dated. Brings back memories of the tv show, definitely worth the listen!
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Overall
- David
- 11-11-19
Re: A humorous guide
This is a humorous collection of insights, stories, comparisons and jokes on the relationships between men and women throughout the meeting, dating and marriage process. Those familiar with the television show or not will enjoy these chapters and advice.
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- jay clanton
- 12-03-21
Red Green rules!
I think that it's great that Steve Smith can still use Red Green for his own brand of comedy and writing. If you area fan of Red this is a great visit with the legend.
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- Anonymous User
- 02-18-24
This book is a service to humanity
I’m a tough sell when it comes to comedy, but I could not stop laughing out loud. While meant to be funny (and it is!) there are some serious home truths underpinning the humor that can only come from decades of lived wisdom, and frankly, that all folks need to take to heart. If you do, the world will be a better place. Well worth your time and money - buy a copy for a friend.
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