Sexless in the City
A Sometimes Sassy, Sometimes Painful, Always Honest Look at Dating, Desire, and Sex
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Narrated by:
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Kat Harris
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By:
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Kat Harris
About this listen
Discover a renewed biblical vision for sex, singleness, and relationships, and transform into an empowered woman of faith equipped to navigate today's dating culture with vision, clarity, and freedom.
Let's face it: Being single in today's culture as a woman of faith can be a struggle fest. But it doesn't have to be. With real talk and straight wisdom, speaker, podcaster, and founder of The Refined Woman Kat Harris says it's time for a new conversation about singleness, sex, and desire.
Growing up at the height of the purity movement, Kat knew this much: Good Christians don't have sex until marriage. But approaching 30 and thrust into the New York City dating scene, she found a set of rules was not a compelling enough reason to keep her clothes on. Caught between purity culture's rules and popular culture's do what feels good, Kat began a multi-year journey searching for answers to the biggest questions about sexuality and faith:
- What does the Bible really say about sex?
- Why does almost everyone deal with some sort of sexual shame?
- But really - what's a single girl to do with her sexual desire?
- What if we never get married...then what?
It turns out Kat was asking questions that countless women were dying to ask, but didn't know they had the permission to do so. Hungry for clarity, she researched, wrestled, and discovered a God who wasn't afraid or ashamed of sex and desire as she thought he might be. In actuality, God created sex and desire within humanity and called it very good. Now, she believes God desires to restore a generation disillusioned with purity culture and Christian dating, discouraged about their singleness, ashamed of their sexual desire, and uncertain how to practically walk this season out well.
Join Kat on her messy, sometimes painful, and always honest journey to discovering God's heart for sexuality, desire, singleness, and our purpose within it all.
Discussion questions and accompanying table are available in the audiobook companion PDF download.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2021 Kat Harris (P)2021 ZondervanListeners also enjoyed...
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good stuff
- By chad johnson on 10-02-23
By: Sean McDowell
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Strong Women, Soft Hearts
- A Woman’s Guide to Cultivating a Wise Heart and a Passionate Life
- By: Paula Rinehart
- Narrated by: Jennifer Jill Araya
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Through inspiring real-life testimonies, Paula Rinehart writes as both a kindred spirit and a compassionate counselor to women feeling robbed of their passions and trapped by life's disappointing realities. Women who long to be released from the burden of hard choices and perpetually empty souls will be empowered to rediscover dreams long lost and refocus energy misguided. Strong Women, Soft Hearts cries out for women to embrace passion and approach life as something to be lived, not merely survived.
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Important
- By Alixandra Hice on 12-04-22
By: Paula Rinehart
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No Perfect People Allowed
- By: John Burke
- Narrated by: Tom Casaletto
- Length: 12 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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How do we live out the message of Jesus in today’s ever-changing culture? The church is facing its greatest challenge - and its greatest opportunity - in our postmodern, post-Christian world. God is drawing thousands of spiritually curious “imperfect people” to become his church - but how are we doing at welcoming them? No Perfect People Allowed shows you how to deconstruct the five main barriers standing between emerging generations and your church by creating the right culture.
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No Perfect People Allowed
- By Robin on 04-19-09
By: John Burke
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Rethinking Sexuality
- God’s Design and Why It Matters
- By: Dr. Juli Slattery, Gary Thomas - Foreword by
- Narrated by: Dr. Juli Slattery
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Sexual abuse, sex addiction, gender confusion, brokenness, and shame plague today's world, and people are seeking clarity and hope. By contesting long-held cultural paradigms, this book equips you to see how sexuality is rooted in the broader context of God's heart and his work for us on earth. Instead of arguing with the world about what's right and wrong about sexual choices, this practical resource equips you to share the love and grace of Jesus as you encounter the pain of sexual brokenness - your own or someone else's.
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Raw, Real, & Honest
- By Bianca on 05-02-19
By: Dr. Juli Slattery, and others
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Lies Young Women Believe
- And the Truth That Sets Them Free
- By: Nancy Demoss Wolgemuth, Dannah Gresh
- Narrated by: Pamela Klein
- Length: 5 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Many young women have been lied to. Through a nationwide survey and in-depth discussion groups, Nancy and Dannah have listened carefully to the heart of the younger generation, and they felt compelled to write this book. In it, Nancy and Dannah expose the 25 lies young women most commonly believe.
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My opinion
- By Kim on 10-02-19
By: Nancy Demoss Wolgemuth, and others
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No Easy Jesus
- How the Toughest Choices Lead to the Greatest Life
- By: Jason Mitchell, Kyle Idleman
- Narrated by: Jason Mitchell
- Length: 4 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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This book will ask you to make tough choices. Because what if the easy life isn't always the best life? What if living a truly full life means so much more than just "believing" in Jesus - and what if he promised you it would be worth it?
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Read this book!
- By Bill Simon on 03-29-17
By: Jason Mitchell, and others
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The 4 Habits of Joy Filled Marriages
- How 15 Minutes a Day Will Help You Stay in Love
- By: Marcus Warner, Chris Coursey
- Narrated by: Marcus Warner, Chris Coursey
- Length: 2 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Discover the secrets behind deeper relational bonds and more consistent happiness in this new book about marriage by Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey. Healthy relationships regularly produce joy, and joy keeps the relationship healthy. But this kind of happiness and health in marriage isn't just for the lucky few who stumble upon it. It turns out that certain relational skills boost your happiness. Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey will teach you how to develop those skills.
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A Book For Men
- By Emily on 12-01-21
By: Marcus Warner, and others
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Every Heart Restored
- A Wife's Guide to Healing in the Wake of a Husband's Sexual Sin
- By: Fred Stoeker, Mike Yorkey, Stephen Arterburn - Forward, and others
- Narrated by: Carla Mercer-Meyer, Lyle Blaker
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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As the wife of a man who is addicted to lust, pornography, or masturbation, you are not alone. Millions of men can't get through the day or the week without clicking on to their favorite Internet porn sites, thumbing through adult magazines, or watching sensual videos - and millions of wives suffer as a result. Over the past decade, nearly 400,000 men have found inspiration and hope in Every Man's Battle, the best-selling men's guide to victory over sexual sin. Now, here at last is the book for every woman who has become a casualty in the fight for sexual purity. Every Heart Restored offers godly guidance and wisdom for a woman facing such personal betrayal.
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Good Book, However...
- By hcmontessori on 03-11-21
By: Fred Stoeker, and others
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Stop Calling Me Beautiful
- Finding Soul-Deep Strength in a Skin-Deep World
- By: Phylicia Masonheimer
- Narrated by: Carla Mercer-Meyer
- Length: 5 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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If you're tired of hearing the watered-down Christian teaching and hungry for a deeper spiritual life - one that gives real answers to your hardest questions - Stop Calling Me Beautiful teaches you how. Jesus doesn't offer a powerless salvation. He makes your brokenness part of his whole redemption story - if you allow him to. Don't settle for a feel-good faith. If you want victory over insecurity, fear, shame, and the circumstances you are facing, it's time to embrace Jesus. All of him.
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not what I expected, in a good way!!
- By Kristin on 09-03-20
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The Dating Manifesto
- A Drama-Free Plan for Pursuing Marriage with Purpose
- By: Lisa Anderson
- Narrated by: Jaimee Draper
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Face it, your attitudes about marriage and the path to marriage are probably wrong. Some you've inherited, some you've simply bought - hook, line, and sinker - and some you've made up yourself. They have translated into bad action (or no action) in dating and relationships. But it's not too late; you can break the cycle of dating dysfunction and learn to honor marriage, marry well, and live intentionally while you wait.
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Modern and biblical
- By Ian on 08-12-15
By: Lisa Anderson
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Pussy
- By: Regena Thomashauer
- Narrated by: Regena Thomashauer
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Get ready to encounter a book that will change your experience as a woman in a powerful new way. Author, educator, and School of Womanly Arts founder Regena Thomashauer has been working with women for the past 25 years, and what began as just a few women in her living room has since grown into a global movement with thousands of graduates worldwide.
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Hippy Trippy Dilight
- By Steff Doles on 04-27-17
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The Conversation
- How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships
- By: Harper Hill
- Narrated by: Kevin Free
- Length: 7 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling, award-winning author, actor, and motivational speaker Hill Harper invites listeners to join the conversation about the breakdown of the African-American family. The black community of past generations found strength in families, but today’s black children have less than a one in three chance of being raised in a two-parent household. Harper’s search for answers to this phenomenon is an enlightening and empowering journey.
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~*AWESOME*~
- By Nevada on 08-13-10
By: Harper Hill
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Does Jesus Really Love Me?
- A Gay Christian's Pilgrimage in Search of God in America
- By: Jeff Chu
- Narrated by: Jeff Chu
- Length: 13 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Does Jesus Really Love Me?: A Gay Christian's Pilgrimage in Search of God in America is part memoir and part investigative analysis that explores the explosive and confusing intersection of faith, politics, and sexuality in Christian America. The quest to find an answer is at the heart of Does Jesus Really Love Me? - a personal journey of belief, an investigation, and a portrait of a faith and a nation at odds by award-winning reporter Jeff Chu.
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This Is Where I Found Hope in '20/'21
- By Josh on 01-24-21
By: Jeff Chu
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9 Lies That Will Destroy Your Marriage
- And the Truths That Will Save It and Set It Free
- By: Greg Smalley, Robert S. Paul
- Narrated by: Lyle Blaker
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Lies about marriage are rampant in our culture and the church. They’re killing marriages. But the corresponding truths can strengthen marriages and even save the most troubled relationships. In this audiobook, marriage experts Greg Smalley and Robert Paul identify the lies, explain how they work to destroy marriages, and reveal the truths that not only can improve marriages, but rescue those that are floundering.
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Not new, contradictory and biblically inaccurate
- By thor on 04-07-21
By: Greg Smalley, and others
What listeners say about Sexless in the City
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Ad
- 07-13-21
Relevant and real
Very open and honest. This shows God’s real heart, very real and relevant for today’s singles!
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- Brianna
- 06-23-21
Bought two- on purpose!
This book is amazing!!! I loved it so much I bought it again in hard copy. Growing up in purity culture I can say I am a lover of God who values purity but is sick of living a “because I said so” life when it comes to my beliefs on both of these things. Kat did a beautiful job of delving into these topics from a Biblical, logical, personal, practical, scientific, and vulnerable position...this is the kind of book the world needs more of.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kate Roeming
- 05-11-21
Unbelievable!
This book is the book the church needs right now! I finished reading this book feeling empowered and curious. I want to know more, to open the Bible and to sit with Jesus is prayer! Free people, free people. So outstanding!
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- mime
- 06-07-21
So real
I loved it! I coulf relate to so much of what she was saying. It was almost like she was reading my story. She gave practical steps on how to do better. Which made me have to actually face myself, and acknowledge Who I am as a Christian woman. I am so thankful for this special work! It made me feel seen, understood, but most of all it made me better! I will definitely recommend my single friends to take a look 😁
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- Debi Casso
- 01-29-24
Sexual and physical attraction are non-negotiables
I thought this book would help me to cope with being abstinent. It was soooo much more! The shame is not yours to own!
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- BrelliSeal
- 04-30-21
Amazing!
It’s hard to put it all into words, but I feel like I could have written many of these chapters myself. Meaning I completely relate to and have felt many of the ways Kat has felt. I’ve asked a lot of the same questions and at 37, am really just discovering many of the lies and fear that have held me back from relationships without my knowledge. This audiobook, read by the author is engaging, encouraging, affirming and thought provoking. It was exactly what I needed at this point in time, as I have been on a journey of discovering what she talks about in the book over the past few years. I love her honesty and bravery in saying the things others have not been able to say. Women from the purity movement need to read this book so they can move on with their lives and fully embrace all that God has. Amazing! Thank you, Kat!!
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- joey
- 06-25-21
Cannot recommend more!
When your friend recommends a book, you give it a read. This one did not disappoint. Not only did it tackle “purity culture” head on but it deconstructed and reconstructed the ideas behind sex, sexuality, and identity as they stem from Christ. Great nuggets to mull over for single and married individuals alike.
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- Han J
- 05-03-21
Snaps for Kat
This was a great book and so much fun hearing Kat read it out loud. I’ve been listening to Kat’s podcast The Refined Collective for over two years and she always encourages me to go beyond my comfort zones and never shys away from discussing difficult topics that others in the Christian realm do shy away from. Thank you Kat for boldly and courageously putting your journey on display for us all to hear!
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- karen hardy
- 10-19-22
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You
This book is amazing and a total God sent it met me right where I was at and it gave me some direction. I have been living stuck for so long and now I am going to look at myself and look to God for some answers instead of just sitting and waiting. I have to do some work on me thank You so very much for letting God use you and your life 🧬 to help me. May God richly bless your life and who God has for you.
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- cassidy
- 05-21-21
A book for anyone and everyone!
The honesty, the wit/humor, and the message is for anyone who is single, engaged, or married because we all know single girls and most of us struggle to talk to them/ourselves about sex and what we were taught about it growing up. I love the fact that this isn't a book to convince anyone to be like the author, but it opens up the conversations that need to happen no matter what your beliefs are both on religion and sex.
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3 people found this helpful