Attached
The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
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Narrated by:
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Robert Petkoff
About this listen
"A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a relationship." (John Gray, PhD., best-selling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus)
We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle.
Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:
- Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back
- Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.
- Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.
Attached guides listeners in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.
*Includes a PDF of the attachment style questionnaire
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2010 Amir Levine and Rachel Heller (P)2019 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a relationship." (John Gray, PhD., best-selling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus)
"Amir Levine and Rachel Heller have written a very smart book: It is clear, easy to read, and insightful. It's a valuable tool whether you are just entering a relationship with a new partner or—as in my case—even after you've been married 21 years, and had thought you knew everything about your spouse." (Mariette DiChristina, editor in chief, Scientific American)
"Attached is a fascinating and enormously useful guide to one of life's most important ventures—finding and sustaining a secure, satisfying love relationship. Based on 25 years of research, laced with vivid and instructive examples, and enriched with interesting and well-designed exercises, the book provides deep insights and invaluable skills that will benefit every reader." (Phillip R. Shaver, PhD, Distinguished Professor of Psychology, University of California, Davis and Past President, International Association for Relationship Research)
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The Breakup Bible
- The Smart Woman's Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce
- By: Rachel Sussman
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Psychotherapist and breakup expert Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, reveals the secrets every woman needs to get her life back on track. Drawing on hundreds of counseling sessions she's conducted with women at all stages of recovery, Sussman developed a proven three-phase process for healing from a breakup.
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lifesaver!
- By Dawson on 11-30-17
By: Rachel Sussman
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I Want This to Work
- An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age
- By: Elizabeth Earnshaw LMFT CGT
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Earnshaw LMFT CGT
- Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Elizabeth Earnshaw is here to help. The renowned Gottman therapist, founder of A Better Life Therapy, and influential Instagram therapist behind @lizlistens has helped to transform countless relationships. With I Want This to Work, she presents for today’s generation the most effective and proven steps for relationship success.
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I want this to work too. Excellent information, excruciating execution
- By Sunny Bettley on 03-17-23
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When Friendship Hurts
- How to Deal with Friends Who Betray, Abandon, or Wound You
- By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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We’ve all had friendships that have gone bad. Whether it takes the form of a simple yet inexplicable estrangement or a devastating betrayal, a failed friendship can make your life miserable, threaten your success at work or school, and even undermine your romantic relationships. Finally there is help. In When Friendship Hurts, Jan Yager, recognized internationally as a leading expert on friendship, explores what causes friendships to falter and explains how to mend them - or end them.
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Boring and patronizing
- By KDS on 11-17-22
By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
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Relationship Breakthrough
- How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life
- By: Cloe Madanes, Anthony Robbins
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
- By Dee on 01-10-16
By: Cloe Madanes, and others
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Rethinking Narcissism
- The Bad - and Surprising Good - About Feeling Special
- By: Dr. Craig Malkin
- Narrated by: Kiff VandenHeuvel
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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In Rethinking Narcissism listeners will learn that there's far more to narcissism than its reductive invective would imply. The truth is that narcissists (all of us) fall on a spectrum somewhere between utter selflessness on the one side and arrogance and grandiosity on the other. A healthy middle exhibits a strong sense of self.
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Great info, but proceed with caution
- By Caterina M. Platt on 11-16-17
By: Dr. Craig Malkin
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Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man
- Coping with Hidden Aggression - From the Bedroom to the Boardroom
- By: Scott Wetzler Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Matthew Josdal
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you know one of these men? The catch-me-if-you-can lover...Phil's romantic and passionate one minute, distant and cold the next. The deviously manipulative coworker or boss...Jack denies resenting Nora's rapid rise in the company, but when they're assigned to work together on a project, he undermines her. The obstructionist, procrastinating husband...Bob keeps telling his wife he'll finish the painting job he began years ago, but he never seems to get around to it. These are all classic examples of the passive aggressive man.
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A good review of the PA type man
- By Dew on 12-29-17
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Why Mars and Venus Collide
- Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress
- By: John Gray
- Narrated by: John Gray
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Once upon a time, Martians and Venusians functioned in separate worlds. But in today's hectic and career-oriented environment, relationships have become a lot more complicated, and men and women are experiencing unprecedented levels of stress. To add to the increasing tension, most men and women are also completely unaware that they are actually hardwired to react differently to the stress.
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Very insightful & evokative for introspection
- By Amazon Customer on 02-04-12
By: John Gray
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Frientimacy
- How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
- By: Shasta Nelson
- Narrated by: Robin Eller
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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In Frientimacy, award-winning speaker Shasta Nelson shows how anyone can form stronger, more meaningful friendships, marked by a level of trust she calls "frientimacy". Shasta explores the most common complaints and conflicts facing female friendships today, and lays out strategies for overcoming these pitfalls to create deeper, supportive relationships that last for the long-term.
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I didn't finish it, but I still recommend it
- By Emily on 10-21-17
By: Shasta Nelson
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The Happy Stepmother
- By: Rachelle Katz
- Narrated by: Gayle Hendrix
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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You found the love of your life, and you vowed to have, to hold, and to stepmother. You always thought that in time you'd grow to be the perfect, loving family. So why does it seem that the harder you try, the more unappreciated you feel? As a stepmother, therapist, and founder of the popular stepsforstepmothers.com, Dr. Rachelle Katz knows all too well how challenging stepmotherhood can be. Based on thousands of in-depth interviews and the latest research, she's created a powerful program to help you.
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horrible
- By Marcia R on 02-07-17
By: Rachelle Katz
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Loving People
- How to Love and Be Loved
- By: John Townsend
- Narrated by: Matthew Josdal
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Best-selling author Dr. John Townsend teaches you that love can actually be learned and gives you the steps and tools to become skilled in love. Using his trademark stories to flesh out the important principles, Dr. Townsend covers receiving love, connecting love, healing love, confronting love, romantic love, and surrendering love. Through his teaching, listeners will discover - and start enjoying - the words, actions, and experiences of authentic love.
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Very insightful
- By Amazon Customer on 05-17-19
By: John Townsend
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30 Lessons for Loving
- Advice from the Wisest Americans on Love, Relationships, and Marriage
- By: Karl Pillemer Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on the most detailed survey of long married people ever conducted, 30 Lessons for Loving shows the way to lifelong, fulfilling relationships. The author, an internationally renowned gerontologist at Cornell University, offers sage advice from the oldest and wisest Americans on everything from finding a partner, to deciding to commit, to growing old together.
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Our Elders Really are the Experts!
- By Cher Finnan on 12-29-15
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We Love Each Other, But . . .
- Simple Secrets to Strengthen Your Relationship and Make Love Last
- By: Ellen Wachtel
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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We Love Each Other, But... offers simple, practical tips that will help you restore and strengthen a relationship that has gone off track. It lays out the nuts and bolts of building relationships so they continue to be gratifying over the long haul. Dr. Ellen Wachtel shows how, even when you feel like giving up on a relationship or marriage, you can recapture why you fell in love in the first place. Dr. Wachtel promises that there is more and suggests simple ways to keep vitality in relationships.
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Some interesting material
- By Scott on 10-25-12
By: Ellen Wachtel
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I waited more than 30 years for this book.
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Insightful. Straight forward
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The Attachment Theory Workbook
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No PDFs
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attachment theory
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How to Be an Adult in Relationships
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"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this audiobook, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships - one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life.
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Missing text
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Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent more than three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust.
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Overall Worthwhile, Lingers Too Long in the Why
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Unexpected Brilliance
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Getting the Love You Want
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The New York Times best-selling guide to transforming an intimate relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship, now fully revised with a new foreword and a brand-new chapter.
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Enough Overthinking
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Overthinking is when your brain just won’t switch off. It feels like it’s stuck going around and around on the same loop as a hamster stuck on a wheel. But while the hamster is having fun and getting fit, you’re feeling lower and lower and burning out.
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The simple layout of the book
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8 Rules of Love
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Instead of presenting love as an ethereal concept or a collection of cliches, Jay Shetty lays out specific, actionable steps to help you develop the skills to practice and nurture love better than ever before. He shares insights on how to win or lose together, how to define love, and why you don’t break in a break-up. Inspired by Vedic wisdom and modern science, he tackles the entire relationship cycle, from first dates to moving in together to breaking up and starting over. And he shows us how to avoid falling for false promises and unfulfilling partners.
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Audio quality is lacking:(
- By Robert Scarberry on 01-31-23
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Unfu*k Yourself
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Are you tired of feeling f*cked up? If you are, Gary John Bishop has the answer. In this straightforward handbook, he gives you the tools and advice you need to demolish the slag weighing you down and become the truly unf--ked version of yourself. "Wake up to the miracle you are," he directs. "Here's what you've forgotten: You're a f--king miracle of being." It isn't other people that are standing in your way; it isn't even your circumstances that are blocking your ability to thrive. It's yourself and the negative self-talk you keep telling yourself.
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Now I'm F'd for sure!
- By Kerry Strong on 08-24-17
By: Gary John Bishop
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Loving an Avoidant Partner
- Understand Dismissive Attachment Style to Bridge Emotional Distance and Create a Secure Relationship
- By: Krista Cantell
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- Length: 4 hrs and 46 mins
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Introducing "Loving an Avoidant Partner," a groundbreaking guide that takes you deep into the enigmatic maze of an avoidant person's inner world like never before. Armed with remarkable insights, you'll decode the guarded secrets and fears of your elusive partner, shattering the barriers that have kept you apart.
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Very helpful
- By DeAnn Carrier on 12-01-24
By: Krista Cantell
What listeners say about Attached
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Barbara
- 03-11-21
Necessary for Anxious
This book is a lifesaver, and life guide, for anyone especially people with an anxious attachment. I will not lie: it was very hard at times to hear some of it because I have done them, but I feel like I have been told what I needed to learn and practice to help me date and interact with people better to meet my desires of having a partner soon or one day. Thank you for writing this book and sharing all of these tools with us and scenarios! The narrator is great by the way! ☺️
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1 person found this helpful
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- Heather
- 01-09-22
Don't think, do it!
This was so, so good. my therapist recommended this book to me, and it has my head spinning! (and I mean that in the best way possible). Half of the book I caught myself asking how did they know that?! I felt very seen and vulnerable as some of the book felt so terrifyingly relatable. My partner and I have very different attachments styles, and this book really opened my eyes with all of the advice and thoughts. This was the best book to start the new year to. 10/10 read/ listen to the book!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Stephanie L.
- 06-14-21
Best relationship book I've read
Almost finished the entire thing in one sitting. There are ridiculous amounts of books on relationships. They usually end up with "pray more, compromise more, don't give up!". This book helped me understand SO MUCH about myself and the relationships around me. 100% recommend. Will read again.
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- Maribell Martinez
- 05-29-21
Insightful
I’m thankful for the tools to empower oneself to be true to ones needs without shame or guilt.
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- Q,A &R
- 05-02-21
I’m shaken !
I wish , I wish I had listeners to this book not at 54 but 24! I hope it’s not too late for me , but I’m so glad I bought/listened to it now!!
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- Winnie Wong
- 01-21-21
A must read for anyone fascinated by interpersonal and romantic relationships
I wish I had discovered this book before dating my last partner. Scientific research, case studies, realistic behavioral solutions, tips for identifying attachment styles - this reads like a manual for how to seek and maintain an emotionally mature and rational relationship with your significant other. Really loved the questions raised, tests and diagrams provided with this audio book as well.
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-06-20
Good information
it's a good listen, it helps you understand yourself and your partner better. Provides better ways to improve yourself.
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- Marilu oditt
- 01-02-21
Life changing
This book has given me a totally new perspective. Thank you to the authors. Amazing.
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- Kawerimidde
- 07-18-21
excellent read
to the point and well set out to learn and be better. Great work
thanks
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- Joshua
- 03-07-21
Incredibly Insightful
I found myself discovering many nuances to my attachment style while also being able to connect more with the style and logic of my former partner. The information in this book really delves into the psychology of why we respond to various things in our life/relationships based on the attachment style that you may or may not know that you have. The book also gives a number of case studies where you listen to how real couples fared based on their attachment styles and newly understood needs.
Moving forward, I’m using this book and The 5 Love Languages as a means to connect with anyone I want to pursue seriously and as the authors noted, take finding love from being left to chance.
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