Preview
  • Smart Girls Don’t Kiss Aliens

  • Smart Girls Love Aliens, Book 1
  • By: Alina Jacobs
  • Narrated by: Avery Reid, Patrick Zeller
  • Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
  • 4.4 out of 5 stars (15 ratings)

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Smart Girls Don’t Kiss Aliens

By: Alina Jacobs
Narrated by: Avery Reid, Patrick Zeller
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Publisher's summary

Crash-land on an alien barbarian planet and told there’s no way home?

LMAO! I’m a rocket scientist. Miss me with that noise.

Anyone else might have a nervous breakdown, but I was abducted with my besties! Between us, we have fifteen PhDs.

We will be getting off this planet. Trust.

No, I will not be finding an eternal bonded mate among the seven-foot-tall alien males.

No, I will not be wearing a furkini and walking around barefoot.

And no, I will not be moving into a cave with no internet or running water and accepting my fate like the rest of the freed human women on this craft-cocktail-forsaken planet.

Two liquid hydrogen rockets and a smidge of deep-space travel later, and we’re back home on Earth.

Except that our spaceship had stowaways.

Now there’s a seven-foot-tall alien named Cassius in my Los Angeles condo. He’s calmly explaining that, according to the ancestors, we are to be eternally mated and have a litter of children.

Also, he’s wearing a loincloth.

And he has horns.

Wipe that smirk off your face. No, it is not as sexy as it sounds.

He barked at my cat.

He harassed my busybody Karen neighbor (actually, I’m okay with that one).

And he’s obsessed with the ice maker in my fridge.

What’s a smart girl to do?

The smart thing is to build a rocket ship and send Cassius and his other hot alien friends back to their home planet.

The not smart thing to do is fall into those deep blue-gray eyes and let him show me just how good that forked tongue feels.

And the downright stupid thing to do is fall in love with an alien.

This is a stand-alone full-length laugh-out-loud romantic comedy, complete with bad space puns, hot guys with horns, and enough steam to cause a supernova. Happily ever after guaranteed!

©2022 Adair Lakes, LLC (P)2022 Adair Lakes, LLC
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What listeners say about Smart Girls Don’t Kiss Aliens

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Here for the Laughs

Lots of mushrooms are poisonous. They usually result in an agonizing death, but on the plus side, you can float to the pearly gates high as a kite.”
“I hope I see George Washington before I go,” Erin said, taking a bite of the gray food.”

“No matter what, we’re leaving this planet. I’m going home. If these mushrooms don’t kill us, we’re stealing that spaceship.”

This was my first ever Alina Jacobs book and I’m sure this is just the beginning of a love relationship between me and her writing.
I absolutely love authors that know how to deliver humor in their books and Alina’s is just up my alley!
Plus her stories are sweet, have a nice character background build up and are engaging enough that I keep wanting to read more and more.

“I have not drunk enough cocktails for this.”

I’ll talk to Yuri,” I promised.
“You’re going to talk to your cat?” Sharron countered.
“Oh, absolutely,” I said, trying to keep a straight face. “He’s very smart. Top of his class.”

This book is an Alien Romantic Comedy and if I’m not mistaken is the first time the author ventures into the “Paranormal/Sci-Fic“ side and I’ve to say, to me, she nailed it.
Yes he can argue that some parts of this book are completely crazy and totally impossible even tho they’re scientists… but… it’s a fictional book and that story line serves a purpose.

“Hello, my name is Cassius. I have come with you to Earth because you are going to be my mate. We will live in your cave, and I will hunt for you and take care of your plants. You have many dead plants.”

Oh Kimmie, I know the struggle…

So the story line of this book is that Kimmie and her friends, where abducted by aliens while they’re on vacation. And they were took to a far away alien planet.
When they landed there they were told there was no way out and they were stuck in the hostile planet and were to be mated to the single aliens.
Not ones to give up, Kimmie and her friends run to escape the planet, using the alien ship. They’re successful, but they end up bringing home way more than they bargain for.

“Wait, what am I saying?” Her voice had a slightly hysterical edge. “You’re wearing a loincloth, and you have horns, horns! And a freaking tail. You can’t wander around LA like this. They’ll have the military out here locking down the area.” She grabbed my arm and hauled me back into the cave.”

It’s LA, probably people would think it’s just some cosplay, a kink or someone identifying as an alien. I wouldn’t be to worried.

I loved this book.
I laugh the entire time I was listening to it.
I did though Cassius to be a little bit to insecure for my taste, but otherwise I loved it.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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A Futurama-type fantasy rom-com

There isn't one believable thing in this story and that's A-okay with me because that's the point isn't it? It's fun fantasy... and I mean really fun. I really laughed at Cassius' offbeat and upbeat style, and I melted at his sincerity, and I was sad when Kimmie repeatedly broke his heart. Cassius was every woman's ideal boyfriend. So devoted. I repeat this is just a fun little fantasy story—think Futurama or Mork and Mindy—then laugh your way through it. Narration was good, particularly Patrick Zeller.

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Smart girls doing it better

If you want a hilarious story with genius heroines making things happen…this is for you. If you want hot barbarian aliens with…ahem… interestingly hot adult fun…this is for you. HEA with a conclusion AND epilogue? Well just buy it. Oh and the narrators came in with the buttercream and iced this cake. Or Agave drizzled this fruit if you’re vegan. You know what I mean. You’re gonna want this lol.

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    4 out of 5 stars
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Smart Girls Don’t Kiss Aliens

I know this book was silly but I had a blast and giggled myself to coughing fits.
I am not sure if there was a prequel to this book or not but I was a little lost at the beginning.
The ladies were on a different planet, and wanted to get home. They took the rocket and jumped through some worm holes and what not ended up back on earth only they had some stole aways.
Cassius and a few of his other alien friends.

It just fun and light hearted and again like I said I just enjoyed it for what it was.

Great narrations as well. I think I will grab the next book in the series too cause it was that good.

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Listener received this title free

Listening changed my opinion.

I really liked this story. It was fun, entertaining, and enjoyable. The characters were interesting and likable for the most part. Listening to the audiobook made it harder for me to like Kimmie until about half way through the story. There were a lot of characters introduced in this book that was the introduction of a new series. All of the stories standalone but are interconnected. No cliffhanger. Cassius was a sweetheart right from the beginning and made me wish that Kimmie would be nicer to him. He was so protective and possessive but motivated to take care of Kimmie and Yuri in any way that he could. Cassius learned so much and then put it into action to make her life better. I loved how the story ended with the epilogue. I recommend listening to this audiobook.

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Very Funny

My husband kept giving me looks because I laughed and snorted while I was listening to this book. If you've read any of those *giant alpha alien seeks human mate* books (and I'm not afraid to admit I have), this is the hilarious take you've been waiting for.

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