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Narrated by:
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Michael Welch
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By:
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Carl Hiaasen
About this listen
A hilarious, high-stakes adventure involving crooked casino boats, floating fish, toxic beaches, and one kid determined to get justice. This is Carl Hiaasen's Florida - where the creatures are wild and the people are wilder!
You know it's going to be a rough summer when you spend Father's Day visiting your dad in the local lockup.
Noah's dad is sure that the owner of the Coral Queen casino boat is flushing raw sewage into the harbor - which has made taking a dip at the local beach like swimming in a toilet. He can't prove it though, and so he decides that sinking the boat will make an effective statement. Right. The boat is pumped out and back in business within days and Noah's dad is stuck in the clink.
Now Noah is determined to succeed where his dad failed. He will prove that the Coral Queen is dumping illegally...somehow. His allies may not add up to much: his sister Abbey, an unreformed childhood biter; Lice Peeking, a greedy sot with poor hygiene; Shelly, a bartender and a woman scorned; and a mysterious pirate - but Noah's got a plan to flush this crook out into the open. A plan that should sink the crooked little casino, once and for all.
©2005 Carl Hiaasen (P)2005 Random House, Inc. Listening Library, an imprint of the Random House Audio Publishing GroupListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
Honey Santana, impassioned, willful, possibly bipolar, self-proclaimed "queen of lost causes", has a scheme to help rid the world of irresponsibility, indifference, and dinnertime sales calls. She's taking rude, gullible Relentless, Inc., telemarketer Boyd Shreave and his less-than-enthusiastic mistress, Eugenie, into the wilderness of Florida's Ten Thousand Islands for a gentle lesson in civility. What she doesn't know is that she's being followed by her Honey-obsessed former employer.
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Sample first!
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Originally drawn to the game by his father, Carl Hiaasen wisely quit golfing in 1973. But some ambitions refuse to die, and as the years - and memories of shanked 7-irons - faded, it dawned on Carl that there might be one thing in life he could do better in middle age than he could as a youth. So gradually he ventured back to the dreaded driving range, this time as the father of a five-year-old son -and also as a grandfather.
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Not a Bogie but a Birdie !
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CAUTION: BELLY ACHING LAUGHTER IMMINENT!
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Fun Story, needs a different narrator.
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EXCELLENT
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"...Hiaasen still succeeds at relating an entertaining story while getting across a serious message about conservation and the results of just plain greed." (Booklist)
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She was the most beautiful British bauble in Europe’s jet-set playgrounds. Now she’s broke, furious, and limping down a backwoods road in an ugly pink southern belle gown. He’s a tall, lean Texan who’s sure to regret stopping his car for this woebegone, surly Scarlett. Meet Francesca Day and Dallie Beaudine, two incredible characters whose tangled love affair is at the heart of this ravishing New York Times best seller from award-winning author Susan Elizabeth Phillips.
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Great Book
- By Neecie2003 on 05-14-23
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Sammy Keyes and the Hotel Thief
- By: Wendelin Van Draanen
- Narrated by: Tara Sands
- Length: 3 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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While looking out the window with her grandma's binoculars, Sammy witnesses a crime across the street at the Heavenly Hotel. What's worse, the thief saw her spying! As Sammy attempts to find the burglar who has made several other hits in the neighborhood, she finds herself trying to keep him from uncovering her - or worse, the police discovering that she's living illegally with her grandmother in the seniors-only housing!
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Fun read for young kids!
- By Sara Sweetman on 06-24-16
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Rain Dogs
- By: Sean Doolittle
- Narrated by: Basil Sands
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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It was one hell of an inheritance for former Chicago reporter Tom Coleman: a broken-down pickup truck, ramshackle campground, a canoe livery - and one pot-smoking, barely working employee he doesn’t need, doesn’t want, and can’t afford. But the truth is, after losing a child and a marriage, Tom doesn’t really care.
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Narration is awful
- By Karen Martin on 03-09-21
By: Sean Doolittle
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The Deep Blue Good-By
- A Travis McGee Novel, Book 1
- By: John D. MacDonald
- Narrated by: Robert Petkoff
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
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He's a self-described beach bum who won his houseboat in a card game. He's also a knight errant who's wary of credit cards, retirement benefits, political parties, mortgages, and television. He only works when his cash runs out, and his rule is simple: he'll help you find whatever was taken from you, as long as he can keep half.
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Before the A-Team, there was Travis McGee
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 11-12-16
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Alex, Approximately
- By: Jenn Bennett
- Narrated by: Amy Melissa Bentley
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Classic movie buff Bailey "Mink" Rydell has spent months crushing on a witty film geek she only knows online by "Alex". Two coasts separate the teens until Bailey moves in with her dad, who lives in the same California surfing town as her online crush. Faced with doubts (what if he's a creep in real life - or worse?), Bailey doesn't tell Alex she's moved to his hometown. Or that she's landed a job at the local tourist-trap museum. Or that she's being heckled daily by the irritatingly hot museum security guard, Porter Roth - a.k.a. her new arch-nemesis.
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Great But Don't Read the Synopsis!
- By Lorna on 09-26-17
By: Jenn Bennett
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Raven Stole the Moon
- A Novel
- By: Garth Stein
- Narrated by: Jennifer Van Dyck
- Length: 12 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Jenna Rosen returns to the place in Alaska where her young son, Bobby, disappeared without a trace two years before. Jenna is determined to lay to rest the aching mystery of his death. But ancient legends may have had a hand in Bobby’s fate, forcing Jenna to sift through her own Native American ancestry to uncover the truth.
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I love this book
- By Em mom of 3 on 08-27-18
By: Garth Stein
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Sometimes a Great Notion
- By: Ken Kesey
- Narrated by: Tom Stechschulte
- Length: 30 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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A literary icon sometimes seen as a bridge between the Beat Generation and the hippies, Ken Kesey scored an unexpected hit with his first novel, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. His successful follow-up, Sometimes a Great Notion, was also transformed into a major motion picture, directed by and starring Paul Newman. Here, Oregon’s Stamper family does what it can to survive a bitter strike dividing their tiny logging community. And as tensions rise, delicate family bonds begin to fray and unravel.
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Sometimes a Great Novel Pops up out of Nowhere
- By Mr. Eyuz on 06-07-19
By: Ken Kesey
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90 Miles to Havana
- By: Enrique Flores-Galbis
- Narrated by: Enrique Flores-Galbis
- Length: 6 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Winner of a Pura Belpré Award, this middle grade Cuban American coming-of-age novel is inspired by the author's own experience. When Julian's parents make the heartbreaking decision to send him and his two brothers away from Cuba to Miami via the Pedro Pan operation, the boys are thrust into a new world where bullies run rampant and it’s not always clear how best to protect themselves.
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What a great adventure!
- By Abhijatri on 01-20-21
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Dead Low Tide
- A Novel
- By: John D. MacDonald
- Narrated by: Stephen Hoye
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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A classic novel by John D. MacDonald with an exclusive introduction written and read by Dean Koontz. A college graduate and amateur fisherman, Andy McClintock is stuck toiling in the office of a construction company. But when Andy tries to quit, his boss offers him a promotion and a raise - and then promptly kills himself with a harpoon gun. At least, that's what it looks like, until the police rule it homicide - with the murder weapon belonging to Andy.
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Clever plot twists
- By Laura Lehman on 06-12-19
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Gutshot Straight
- By: Lou Berney
- Narrated by: Edoardo Ballerini
- Length: 9 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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When Charles "Shake" Bouchon, professional wheel man, walks out of prison after a three-year stretch for grand theft auto, he's got only two problems: he's too nice a guy for the life he's led and not nice enough for any other. So he says yes when he's asked to run a simple errand for his former boss and lover, Alexandra Ilandryan, the formidable pakhan of the Armenian mob in Los Angeles.
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A whole lotta fun.
- By Richard Delman on 04-12-12
By: Lou Berney
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Go Big or Go Home
- A Novel
- By: Will Hobbs
- Narrated by: Charles Carroll
- Length: 4 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Brady Steele watches in awe as a fireball comes crashing through the roof of his house. Brady immediately calls up his cousin, Quinn. They both love all things extreme, and this is the most extreme thing ever! Fred, as Brady names his space rock, turns out to be one of the rarest meteorites ever found. Brady is discovering he's able to do strange and wonderful feats that shouldn't be possible.But he's developing some frightening symptoms. Could he be infected with long-dormant microbes from space?
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Awesome and original
- By Natalie on 05-17-21
By: Will Hobbs
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The Drowning Game
- A Novel
- By: LS Hawker
- Narrated by: Amanda Dolan, Paul Woodson
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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They said she was armed. They said she was dangerous. They were right. Petty Moshen spent 18 years of her life as a prisoner in her own home, training with military precision for everything, ready for anything. She can disarm, dismember, and kill - and now, for the first time ever, she is free.
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Gripping Thriller!
- By NH on 08-05-16
By: LS Hawker
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not just a kids book
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Everybody loves Mother Paula's pancakes. Everybody, that is, except the colony of cute but endangered owls that live on the building site of the new restaurant. Can the awkward new kid and his feral friend prank the pancake people out of town? Or is the owls' fate cemented in pancake batter?
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Some facts about Billy Dickens: He once saw a biker swerve across the road in order to run over a snake. Later, that motorcycle somehow ended up at the bottom of a canal. Billy isn't the type to let things go. Some facts about Billy's family: They've lived in six different Florida towns because Billy's mom insists on getting a house near a bald eagle nest. Billy's dad left when he was four and is a total mystery. Billy has just found his dad's address - in Montana.
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Valdez Jones VIII calls himself Wrecker because his great-great-great-great-great-grandfather salvaged shipwrecks for a living. So is it destiny, irony, or just bad luck when Wrecker comes across a speedboat that has run hard aground on a sand flat? The men in the boat don't want Wrecker to call for help—in fact, they'll pay him to forget he ever saw them. Wrecker would be happy to forget, but he keeps seeing these men all over Key West—at the marina, even in the cemetery. And now they want more than his silence—they want a lookout.
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Wish Hiaasen would get off his political soapbox
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Lucky You
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Grange, Florida, is famous for its miracles - the weeping fiberglass Madonna, the Road-Stain Jesus, the stigmata man. And now it has JoLayne Lucks, unlikely winner of the state lottery. Unfortunately, JoLayne's winning ticket isn't the only one. The other belongs to Bodean Gazzer and his raunchy sidekick, Chub, who believe they're entitled to the whole $28 million jackpot. And they need it quickly, to start their own underground militia before NATO troops invade America. But JoLayne Lucks has her own plans for the Lotto money - an Eden-like forest in Grange must be saved from strip-malling.
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Not Hiaasen's best work
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When Wahoo Cray’s dad - a professional animal wrangler - takes a job with a reality TV show called Expedition Survival!, Wahoo figures he'll have to do a bit of wrangling himself to keep his father from killing Derek Badger, the show's inept and egotistical star. But the job keeps getting more complicated: Derek Badger insists on using wild animals for his stunts; and Wahoo's acquired a shadow named Tuna - a girl who's sporting a shiner courtesy of her father and needs a place to hide out.
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- By Janet on 04-21-12
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Scat
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Carl Hiaasen takes us deep in the Everglades with an eccentric eco-avenger, a ticked-off panther, and two kids on a mission to find their missing teacher. Florida - where the animals are wild and the people are wilder! Bunny Starch, the most feared biology teacher ever, is missing. She disappeared after a school field trip to Black Vine Swamp. And, to be honest, the kids in her class are relieved. But when the principal tries to tell the students that Mrs. Starch has been called away on a "family emergency", Nick and Marta just don't buy it.
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Hoot
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Everybody loves Mother Paula's pancakes. Everybody, that is, except the colony of cute but endangered owls that live on the building site of the new restaurant. Can the awkward new kid and his feral friend prank the pancake people out of town? Or is the owls' fate cemented in pancake batter?
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Some facts about Billy Dickens: He once saw a biker swerve across the road in order to run over a snake. Later, that motorcycle somehow ended up at the bottom of a canal. Billy isn't the type to let things go. Some facts about Billy's family: They've lived in six different Florida towns because Billy's mom insists on getting a house near a bald eagle nest. Billy's dad left when he was four and is a total mystery. Billy has just found his dad's address - in Montana.
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- By Helen W. on 10-13-18
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Wrecker
- By: Carl Hiaasen
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Valdez Jones VIII calls himself Wrecker because his great-great-great-great-great-grandfather salvaged shipwrecks for a living. So is it destiny, irony, or just bad luck when Wrecker comes across a speedboat that has run hard aground on a sand flat? The men in the boat don't want Wrecker to call for help—in fact, they'll pay him to forget he ever saw them. Wrecker would be happy to forget, but he keeps seeing these men all over Key West—at the marina, even in the cemetery. And now they want more than his silence—they want a lookout.
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Wish Hiaasen would get off his political soapbox
- By J. A. Stephenson on 09-30-23
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Not Hiaasen's best work
- By Jimmy on 06-18-13
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Nature Girl
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Honey Santana, impassioned, willful, possibly bipolar, self-proclaimed "queen of lost causes", has a scheme to help rid the world of irresponsibility, indifference, and dinnertime sales calls. She's taking rude, gullible Relentless, Inc., telemarketer Boyd Shreave and his less-than-enthusiastic mistress, Eugenie, into the wilderness of Florida's Ten Thousand Islands for a gentle lesson in civility. What she doesn't know is that she's being followed by her Honey-obsessed former employer.
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Sample first!
- By Michael on 11-25-06
By: Carl Hiaasen
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Basket Case
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Once a hotshot investigative reporter, Jack Tagger now bangs out obituaries for a South Florida daily, "plotting to resurrect my newspaper career by yoking my byline to some famous stiff". Jimmy Stoma, the infamous front man of Jimmy and the Slut Puppies, dead in a fishy-smelling scuba "accident", might be the stiff of Jack’s dreams - if only he can figure out what happened.
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My fav Hiaasen book
- By Karen on 11-28-16
By: Carl Hiaasen
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Double Whammy
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- Unabridged
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A twisted tale of murder in the world of big-stakes bass fishing tournaments. Filled with ex-wives, evangelists, and an armed pit-bull, this is a story that could only be concocted by Carl Hiaasen, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, New York Times best-selling author, and czar of Florida noir fiction.
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Not for dog lovers
- By Tonette on 01-21-08
By: Carl Hiaasen
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Tourist Season
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: George Wilson
- Length: 14 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Tourist season is swinging into high gear in Miami. So are the activities of a bizarre terrorist group determined to keep the hapless "snowbirds" away. Armed with bombs, weed, and jumbled credos, they move toward their grand target, the Orange Bowl Parade, with plans to bring Miami and its tourist trade to a halt.
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CAUTION: BELLY ACHING LAUGHTER IMMINENT!
- By Tracy P. on 02-08-17
By: Carl Hiaasen
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Fever Beach
- A Novel
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Length: 14 hrs
- Unabridged
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“The afternoon of September first, dishwater-gray and rainy, a man named Dale Figgo picked up a hitchhiker on Gus Grissom Boulevard in Tangelo Falls, Florida. The hitchhiker, who reminded Figgo of Danny DeVito, asked for a lift to the interstate. Figgo said he’d take him there after finishing an errand.” Thus begins Fever Beach, with an errand that leads—in pure Hiaasen-style—into the depths of Florida at its most Floridian: a sun-soaked bastion of right-wing extremism, white power, greed, and corruption.
By: Carl Hiaasen
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Skin Tight
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: George Wilson
- Length: 14 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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This novel by Carl Hiaasen, author of Tourist Season and Native Tongue, begins as most thrillers do, with a killing. But this is no everyday, hum-drum, garden variety killing. Our hero, Nick Stranahan, a 42-year-old private investigator who has killed five men and been married five times, skewers his attacker's aorta with the razor-sharp bill of a stuffed marlin.
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Skintight
- By Chris on 08-02-04
By: Carl Hiaasen
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Strip Tease
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: George Wilson
- Length: 15 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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No matter what you heard or thought about the movie version of Strip Tease, forget it. Film simply can’t catch the layers of humor, satire, and imagination that Pulitzer Prize-winning author Carl Hiaasen creates in each of his novels.
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Hilarious drama
- By Pam W on 11-14-13
By: Carl Hiaasen
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The Downhill Lie
- A Hacker's Return to a Ruinous Sport
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: Carl Hiaasen
- Length: 5 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Originally drawn to the game by his father, Carl Hiaasen wisely quit golfing in 1973. But some ambitions refuse to die, and as the years - and memories of shanked 7-irons - faded, it dawned on Carl that there might be one thing in life he could do better in middle age than he could as a youth. So gradually he ventured back to the dreaded driving range, this time as the father of a five-year-old son -and also as a grandfather.
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Not a Bogie but a Birdie !
- By G. Cernicky on 10-08-08
By: Carl Hiaasen
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Assume the Worst
- The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: Carl Hiaasen
- Length: 15 mins
- Unabridged
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This is Oh, the Places You'll Never Go - the ultimate hilarious, cynical, but absolutely realistic view of a college graduate's future. And what he or she can or can't do about it. "This commencement address will never be given, because graduation speakers are supposed to offer encouragement and inspiration. That's not what you need. You need a warning." So begins Carl Hiaasen's attempt to prepare young men and women for their future. And who better to warn them about their precarious paths forward than Carl Hiaasen?
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Practical, If Shopworn Wisdom. But not worth...
- By Advocatus Peregrini on 06-23-18
By: Carl Hiaasen
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The Edible Exile
- A Byliner Original
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: Scott Brick
- Length: 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Cuervo is a pampered Nicaraguan moneyman, funding a guerrilla war from his cushy Miami penthouse. Sixto is his hulking, pistol-packing attendant, whose job satisfaction is on the wane. When an aging mobster enters their lives with a promise to help the rebel cause - with a planeload of chickens originally intended for voodoo sacrifice - a tense situation turns combustible. From the wickedly funny mind of Carl Hiaasen comes "The Edible Exile", a raucous story of sleazeball nihilists, lovable thugs, and jungle-weary freedom fighters who collide in a battle of wills, ego, and the almighty dollar.
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A bit short
- By JC on 09-10-15
By: Carl Hiaasen
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Razor Girl
- A Novel
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: John Rubinstein
- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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When Lane Coolman's car is bashed from behind on the road to the Florida Keys, what appears to be an ordinary accident is anything but (this is Hiaasen!). Behind the wheel of the other car is Merry Mansfield - the eponymous Razor Girl - and the crash scam is only the beginning of events that spiral crazily out of control while unleashing some of the wildest characters Hiaasen has ever set loose.
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Best book this year!
- By green ice cream garden on 09-19-16
By: Carl Hiaasen
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Dance of the Reptiles
- Rampaging Tourists, Marauding Pythons, Larcenous Legislators, Crazed Celebrities, and Tar-Balled Beaches: Selected Columns
- By: Carl Hiaasen, Diane Stevenson - editor
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Length: 12 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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If you think the wildest, wackiest stories that Carl Hiaasen can tell have all made it into his hilarious, bestselling novels, think again. Dance of the Reptiles collects the best of Hiaasen’s Miami Herald columns, which lay bare the stories—large and small—that demonstrate anew that truth is far stranger than fiction.
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Great book. Required reading!
- By Ron on 02-12-14
By: Carl Hiaasen, and others
What listeners say about Flush
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jessica Stoppkotte
- 03-08-19
Carl Hiaasen never disappoints!
My son and I listened to this in one day. Carl Hiaasen truly brings Florida to life on the page, and to do it from a kid's point of view only makes it more genuine!
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- Marie
- 11-22-20
A must read for older children and adults!
Master storyteller Carl Hiaasen doesn’t disappoint in this amazing adventure in enviironmental activism. While the book is from 2005, it sounds very fresh.
The characters are well-defined and believable, each speaking in their own voice. I would recommend for 6th grade and up, though 4th and 5th graders might be emotionally mature enough too, though parents might want to read it first.
The narrator is really good at suggesting each character’s voice.
Finally, understand that Carl Hiaasen writes mostly for adults, so just because his name is on the spine doesn’t mean it’s juvenile literature. Next book to listen to should be Hoot by the same author.
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- Joey
- 09-12-14
Good Reader, audio is frustrating.
Any additional comments?
I generally do not listen to an entire book straight through, so I tend to want to stop at the end of a chapter. My problem with this audio is that there's not a good way to access the spot where I left off--especially from another device. I tried accessing the chapter by the links, but when clicking on chapter 2, I was taken to Chapter 6. If this issue was resolved, I would thoroughly enjoy and recommend this book.
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- Teal Vee
- 03-10-22
Boring
This book was very disappointing. Very blah characters and no energy or spunk. Hoot is a much better book with a similar storyline. This seems like half a book, with all the exciting bits removed. Sorry Carl
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- Annett
- 01-12-24
what stood out the most to me was the funny comedy it was the best part of the book
I liked that they also added some mystery in this book it was a good match with the comedy I have no dislikes absolutely none because the book was SUPER fun to read thank you for this book 📖 :]
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- Hayden
- 05-15-16
EPIC
Very good in the end but a little bad at the beginning. Still a good book.
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- Anonymous User
- 12-17-17
should have a different reader
narrirator was bad but the book was really good I had to use this amazing app for my book club because I'm a slow reader
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- Cool Beans Club
- 05-01-15
Awesome
I love voice narrator. Hi bye cool loves it it is amazing kobo kook hi bye love ya zzz zz
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- MoJo
- 09-14-23
Highly recommended
Another great story from Carl Hiaasen! Great characters, great storyline, fabulous ending. As usual I didn’t want to put the book down until it was finished. “What goes around, comes around.” Good line - for the story.
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- Book reader
- 09-15-05
Adequate, but something's missing
Maybe it's because most of Carl Hiaasen's books conjure up such gritty, quirky characters that this book -- which would rate as a good book if it were written by someone else -- is a bit of a let-down. The plot has great potential but the characters just don't run with it. The usual irreverent humor is much subdued. Hoot, Hiaasen's first book for young people, was written in a young boy's voice and was rich with the conflicts and everyday details of early-teen life. Flush lacks these savory details. The reader of this audio version is also adequate but lacks the delicious irony which infused Chad Lowe's reading of Hoot. I feel as if the writer -- who's not capable of writing a BAD book, as far as I can tell -- just didn't have his heart in this one, and the narrator isn't inhabiting the book, just reading it aloud.
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15 people found this helpful