
Assume the Worst
The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear
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Narrated by:
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Carl Hiaasen
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By:
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Carl Hiaasen
This is Oh, the Places You'll Never Go - the ultimate hilarious, cynical, but absolutely realistic view of a college graduate's future. And what he or she can or can't do about it.
"This commencement address will never be given, because graduation speakers are supposed to offer encouragement and inspiration. That's not what you need. You need a warning."
So begins Carl Hiaasen's attempt to prepare young men and women for their future. And who better to warn them about their precarious paths forward than Carl Hiaasen? The answer, after hearing Assume the Worst, is: Nobody. Following the format of Anna Quindlen's commencement address (Being Perfect) and George Saunders's commencement address (Congratulations, by the way), this might look typical from the outside, but inside it is anything but.
This book is bound to be a classic, sold year after year come graduation time. Although it's also a good gift for anyone starting a job, getting married, or recently released from prison. Because it is not just funny. It is, in its own Hiaasen way, extremely wise and even hopeful. Well, it might not be full of hope, but there are certainly enough slivers of the stuff in there to more than keep us all going.
©2018 Carl Hiaasen (P)2018 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...




















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My mother said the same thing.
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funny and insightful
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Fabulous Haase!
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Practical advice I wish I had heard sooner
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just sad that this was so short
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Valuable, honest advice to anyone!
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It is possible for a 15 minute speech to be worth an entire audible credit. But this isn't one of those speeches. It's one of a genre of commencement speeches (surely, everybody's favorite venue...) called "Straight, borderline cynical talk." If you are no longer a starry-eyed, freshly-minted grad, you have heard all this already, may times.
Practical, If Shopworn Wisdom. But not worth...
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Profanity laced banality
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This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?
I suppose middle school graduates would appreciate the adolescent cynicism, but certainly not Hiaasen's adult fans--I hope!What was most disappointing about Carl Hiaasen’s story?
That he would write it: what was he thinking?What did you like about the performance? What did you dislike?
I had no issue with the performance.If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from Assume the Worst?
I would counsel H not to publish.Adolescent wisdom and wit
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A gyp
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