THe Myth Of The Anal Probe
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Narrated by:
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Chris Ansoff
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By:
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David Larson
About this listen
Mike has been abducted by aliens in this irreverent examination of the alien abduction mythos. He awakens not knowing how he got where he is. Bob, a wisecracking “alien,” greets him. Bob looks exactly like a human being. After much questioning, Mike discovers that people from Bob’s planet have been abducting humans for thousands of years. As part of that conversation, Mike learns that the reason Bob looks so much like a human being is that Earth was seeded by Bob’s planet. Due to circumstances beyond their control, the colony was reduced to two directly related individuals, who proceeded to populate the planet.
All of the resultant inbreeding led to the development of an unusual variant of Bob’s species. This variant fights with each other, kills each other, establishes countries with different languages, and engages in other sorts of pathology. The reason Bob’s people continue to visit and abduct individuals is to determine how to fix the problems that they caused by starting with only two people. In the course of the wide-ranging discussion, Mike learns that many famous individuals have been abducted or visited by the members of Bob’s race.
Mike convinces Bob to take him to their original planet. This takes quite a bit of convincing; several individuals have to be persuaded that this is a good idea. Mike does end up convincing them, however. Once on the planet, Mike’s ulterior motive becomes finding a way to stay on the planet and live in this newly revealed Eden-like world.
In order to accomplish his plan, Mike needs to develop an entirely new way of interacting with other people. He has to retrain himself; eliminating any vestiges of Earth-like aggressive and violent behaviors. Unfortunately, Mike doesn’t really understand how badly his environment has affected him.
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Story
Joel Byram is an everyday 22nd century guy. He spends his days training artificial-intelligence engines to act more human, jamming out to 1980s new wave - an extremely obscure genre - and trying to salvage his deteriorating marriage. Joel is pretty much an everyday guy with everyday problems - until he's accidentally duplicated while teleporting. Now Joel must outsmart the shadowy organization that controls teleportation, outrun the religious sect out to destroy it, and find a way to get back to the woman he loves.
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Great Premise, terrible execution
- By Perfect Tommy on 09-25-17
By: Tal M. Klein
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The Fire Seekers
- The Babel Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Richard Farr
- Narrated by: Scott Merriman
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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An undeciphered language in Crete. A rash of mysterious disappearances, from Bolivia to Japan. An ancient warning at the ruins of Babel. And a new spiritual leader, who claims that human history as we understand it is about to come to an end.
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A fresh story!
- By AB on 02-08-15
By: Richard Farr
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Valis
- Valis, Book 1
- By: Philip K. Dick
- Narrated by: Phil Gigante
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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What is VALIS? This question is at the heart of Philip K. Dick's groundbreaking novel, the first book in his defining trilogy. When a beam of pink light begins giving a schizophrenic man named Horselover Fat (who just might also be known as Philip K. Dick) visions of an alternate Earth where the Roman Empire still reigns, he must decide whether he is crazy or whether a godlike entity is showing him the true nature of the world.
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Life changing
- By Michael on 03-16-16
By: Philip K. Dick
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Bangkok 8
- By: John Burdett
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer
- Length: 12 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Witnessed by a throng of gaping spectators, a charismatic Marine sergeant is murdered under a Bangkok bridge inside a bolted-shut Mercedes Benz. Among the witnesses are the only two cops in the city not on the take, but within moments one is murdered and his partner, Sonchai Jitpleecheep - a devout Buddhist and the son of a Thai bar girl and a long-gone Vietnam War G.I. - is hell-bent on wreaking revenge. On a vigilante mission to capture his partner’s murderer, Sonchai is begrudgingly paired with a beautiful FBI agent named Jones....
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Very dissapointing
- By Dennis on 05-29-13
By: John Burdett
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The Just City
- Thessaly, Book 1
- By: Jo Walton
- Narrated by: Noah Michael Levine
- Length: 11 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Created as an experiment by the time-traveling goddess Pallas Athene, the Just City is a planned community populated by over 10,000 children and a few hundred adult teachers from all eras of history, along with some handy robots from the far human future - all set down together on a Mediterranean island in the distant past.
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Could Not Get Past Mispronunciations
- By Martha K. on 04-22-17
By: Jo Walton
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A Head Full of Knives: An Urban Fantasy Novel
- By: Luke Smitherd
- Narrated by: Luke Smitherd
- Length: 9 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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From the author of Audible #1 bestsellers In The Darkness, That's Where I'll Know You, The Physics of the Dead, and The Stone Man (shortlisted for the Audible Audiobook of the Year award 2015). Ever wished the world would revolve around you? Be careful what you wish for... Martin Hogan feels like he's being watched by everyone and everything, and doesn't know why. Even his pets are acting strangely. Each night he sees animals gathering outside his house in the darkness, staring up at his windows with glittering eyes.
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Wonderful
- By Julie the Gator Mom on 12-09-15
By: Luke Smitherd
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The Ishbane Conspiracy
- By: Randy Alcorn
- Narrated by: Randy Alcorn
- Length: 6 hrs and 29 mins
- Abridged
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Jillian is picture perfect on the outside but terrified of getting hurt on the inside. Brittany is a tough girl who trusts almost no one. Ian is a successful athlete who dabbles in the occult. And Rob is a former gang banger who struggles with guilt, pain, and a newfound faith in God. These four college students will face the ultimate battle between good and evil in a single year.
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Story great; Narrator not
- By An Amazon Customer on 01-27-20
By: Randy Alcorn
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The Event
- By: Nathan Hystad
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Cities all around the world reported strange alien vessels descending. Some saw them as the heralds of a new age; others fired everything they had at them. All were taken as the beams lashed down and drew them into the sky. Dean was left behind, seemingly the last man on Earth. A trail of clues left by his dead wife guides Dean on a perilous journey across America and beyond to learn the truth behind the mysterious ships and save humanity from its doom.
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Did not inspire me to get the next book.
- By MD on 12-13-18
By: Nathan Hystad
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The Rift Uprising
- The Rift Uprising Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Amy S. Foster
- Narrated by: Claire Coffee
- Length: 12 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Seventeen-year-old Ryn Whittaker is a Citadel: an elite, enhanced soldier specially chosen to guard a Rift, a mysterious and dangerous portal to alternate Earths scientists cannot control or close. Trained from the age of 14, Ryn can run faster, jump farther, and fight better than a Navy SEAL - which is good when you’re not sure if a laser-wielding Neanderthal or an axe-wielding Viking is trying to make it through the Rift and into your world. But the teenager’s military conditioning and education have not prepared her for the boy who crosses through.
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Mediocrity In Bloom
- By Wade Lancaster on 08-08-18
By: Amy S. Foster
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The Dirty Streets of Heaven
- Volume One of Bobby Dollar
- By: Tad Williams
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 15 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Bobby Dollar is an angel - a real one. He knows a lot about sin, and not just in his professional capacity as an advocate for souls caught between Heaven and Hell. Bobby’s wrestling with a few deadly sins of his own - pride, anger, even lust. But his problems aren’t all his fault. Bobby can’t entirely trust his heavenly superiors, and he’s not too sure about any of his fellow earthbound angels either, especially the new kid that Heaven has dropped into their midst, a trainee angel who asks too many questions.
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Angel Noir
- By Michael on 10-17-12
By: Tad Williams
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Prism
- By: Nina Walker
- Narrated by: Michael Crouch, Emily Bauer
- Length: 10 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Forced to move into the palace, Jessa begins training as a Color Alchemist under the direction of the kingdom's most eligible bachelor, Prince Lucas. As an alchemist, Jessa must capture and harness the color of living things. Every color has a unique purpose except red. Red is the untapped magic no one can access - until Jessa.
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loved
- By TravisMorgan on 12-11-18
By: Nina Walker
What listeners say about THe Myth Of The Anal Probe
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Millie GC
- 01-05-19
Like being in the principal’s office for 6 hours straight
This is a 6 hour long lecture against everything that makes us human : love, loyalty, fear, war, violence, patriotism, money, and on and on and on. All performed in the most annoying nasal whiny voice. I would prefer the anal probe over hearing this book again!
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- James Euler
- 01-16-19
it's not believable, idealistic.
This book shows a lack of understanding of how the world really works. I think the author should read a few history books before they start sprouting ideas that have been tried and have failed.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Ken
- 01-11-19
Should be made into a movie.
If you are a fan of Pierce Anthony, Rodeenberry or other writers of alternate societally structures and alternate human origin stories this is definitely for you.
I enjoyed the premise and how it was told I believe this would make a great movie.
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- Desire Thorn
- 08-08-24
Damn Mike
The deconstruction of society and religion in a satirical and imaginative way. Way to go
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- James K. Freeman
- 01-01-19
Horrid 8 hour liberal screed.
OMG. It could not be more tedious. A long screed from a liberal. A complete waste of a credit. The narrator did his best with an terrible book.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Cathy Manning
- 01-08-19
Great Sci-Fi with a healthy dose of soul searching
I was grabbed from the very beginning and fell in love with Bob, one of the main characters. Mike is a completely likeable guy who is thrust into a world of wonder and beauty where there is no conflct and everyone works together for the common good of all people of Hale. He desperately wants to be a permanent part of the wonder that is Hale. Explaining the ways of Earth cause him to question why we actually do what we do to others. It is very funny but also very thought-provoking. It can also make you cringe when you think about some of the concepts Mike tries to explain--thinking wow, why are we as conflict driven as we seem to be. I found myself cheering for Mike as he struggles. Thoroughly entertaining while giving you pause. Highly recommend.
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