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That Bear Ate My Pants!
- Life and Near Death in an Ecuadorian Animal Refuge
- Narrated by: Tim Campbell
- Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
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Publisher's summary
There comes a time in every man's life when he says to himself, "Holy shit! I'm about to be eaten by a bear!"
Tony James Slater went to Ecuador determined to become a man. It never occurred to him that "or die trying" might be an option....
The trouble with volunteering in a South American animal refuge is that everything wants a piece of you. And the trouble with being Tony is that most of them got one.
Just how do you "look after" something that's trying its damnedest to kill you and eat you? And how do you find love when you A.) don't speak the language and B.) are constantly covered in excrement and entrails?
If only he'd had some relevant experience other than owning a pet rabbit when he was nine. And if only he'd bought some travel insurance....
That Bear Ate My Pants! is the hilarious tale of one man's quest to better himself. Whether losing a machete fight with a tree, picking dead tarantulas out of a tank of live ones, or sewing the head back onto a partially decapitated crocodile, Tony's misadventures are ridiculous, unbelievable, and always entertaining.
Long before Sky One got involved, there were already plenty of idiots abroad. This is the story of one of them....
This audiobook is now the first in a series following Tony's adventures through the UK and Thailand in Don't Need the Whole Dog! and around Australia in Kamikaze Kangaroos! They can be listened to separately or together just as easily.
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Story
Ben McKelvie believes he's moving up in the world when he and his fiancée buy a house in the cushy Washington, DC, suburb of Barcroft. Instead he's moving down - way down - thanks to Madeleine Roux, the crazy neighbor whose vermin-infested property is a permanent eyesore and looming hazard to public health. First Ben's fiancée leaves him; then his dog dies, apparently killed by a predator drawn into Barcroft by Madeleine's noxious menagerie. But the worst is yet to come for Ben.
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Just Bearable
- By Nancy Chilton-Kendrick on 06-18-17
By: Bill Schweigart
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The Wicked Girls
- By: Alex Marwood
- Narrated by: Anna Bentinck
- Length: 14 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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On a fateful summer morning in 1986, two 11-year-old girls meet for the first time. By the end of the day, they will both be charged with murder. Twenty-five years later, journalist Kirsty Lindsay is reporting on a series of sickening attacks on young female tourists in a seaside vacation town when her investigation leads her to interview carnival cleaner Amber Gordon. For Kirsty and Amber, it's the first time they've seen each other since that dark day so many years ago.
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I didn't want to like these girls...
- By Lesley on 08-30-13
By: Alex Marwood
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Normal
- By: Graeme Cameron
- Narrated by: Julian Elfer
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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He lives in your community, in a nice house with a well-tended garden. He shops in your grocery store, bumping shoulders with you and apologizing with a smile. He drives beside you on the highway, politely waving you into the lane ahead of him. What you don't know is that he has an elaborate cage built into a secret basement under his garage. And the food that he's carefully shopping for is to feed a young woman he's holding there against her will - one in a string of many, unaware of the fate that awaits her.
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Twisted
- By Richelle Reid on 04-03-15
By: Graeme Cameron
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Red Dog
- By: Louis de Bernières
- Narrated by: David Field
- Length: 2 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Red Dog is a West Australian, a lovable friendly red kelpie who found widespread fame as a result of his habit of travelling all over Western Australia, hitching rides over thousands of miles, settling in places for months at a time and adopting new families before heading off again to the next destination and another family – sometimes returning to say hello years later.
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Can we listen to Red Dog again?
- By Mildred on 03-12-12
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Endangered
- By: Eliot Schrefer
- Narrated by: Adjoa Andoh
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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When Sophie has to visit her mother at her sanctuary for bonobos, she's not thrilled to be there. Then Otto, an infant bonobo, comes into her life, and for the first time, she feels responsible for another creature. But peace does not last long for Sophie and Otto. When an armed revolution breaks out in the country, the sanctuary is attacked, and the two of them must escape unprepared into the jungle. Caught in the crosshairs of a lethal conflict, they must struggle to keep safe.
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1000/10
- By Anonymous User on 08-14-17
By: Eliot Schrefer
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The Trees
- By: Ali Shaw
- Narrated by: Ben Onwukwe
- Length: 18 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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There came an elastic aftershock of creaks and groans and then, softly softly, a chinking shower of rubbled cement. Leaves calmed and trunks stood serene. Where, not a minute before, there had been a suburb, there was now only woodland standing amid ruins. There is no warning. No chance to prepare. They arrive in the night: thundering up through the ground, transforming streets and towns into shadowy forest. Buildings are destroyed.
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Post apocalypse with a little bit of magic
- By Tam on 09-20-16
By: Ali Shaw
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The Green Man's Heir
- By: Juliet E. McKenna
- Narrated by: Will Huggins
- Length: 12 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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A hundred years ago, a man with a secret could travel a few hundred miles and give himself a new name and life story. No one would be any the wiser, as long as he didn’t give anyone a reason to start asking questions. These days, that’s not so easy, with everyone on social media and CCTV on every street corner. So Daniel Mackmain keeps his head down and keeps himself to himself. But now a girl has been murdered, and the Derbyshire police are taking a closer look at a loner who travels from place to place, picking up work as he goes.
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Fun and Interesting
- By Sandy M on 12-14-19
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Sister Mine
- By: Nalo Hopkinson
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 11 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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"We'd had to be cut free of our mother's womb. Abby and I were fused, you see. But here's the real kicker; Abby had the magic, I didn't." Now adults, Makeda and Abby still share their childhood home. The surgery to separate the two girls left Makeda with what feels like an even worse deformity: no mojo. The daughters of a celestial demigod and a human woman, Makeda and Abby were raised by their magical father. Today, Makeda has decided it's high time to move out and make her own life.
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Narrator saves this story
- By Denis A. on 03-21-14
By: Nalo Hopkinson
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Scribbling the Cat
- Travels with an African Soldier
- By: Alexandra Fuller
- Narrated by: Lisette Lecat
- Length: 9 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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When Alexandra ("Bo") Fuller was home in Zambia a few years ago, visiting her parents for Christmas, she asked her father about a nearby banana farmer who was known for being a "tough bugger". Her father's response was a warning to steer clear of him; he told Bo: "Curiosity scribbled the cat." Nonetheless, Fuller began her strange friendship with the man she calls K, a white African and veteran of the Rhodesian war.
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Astonishing
- By G. Robinson on 06-27-04
By: Alexandra Fuller
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What The Cat Dragged In
- Celtic Witch Mysteries Series, Book 1
- By: Molly Milligan
- Narrated by: Gemma Dawson
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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The body that turns up in Bron's garden has been there for decades, and he died of natural causes. Just rebury him and carry on as normal, right? But it's kinda hard to be normal when the ghost of the dead man has been disturbed, and now he want...well, just what does he want? It's down to Bron, a traditional hedge witch, to find out. If she doesn't, that ghost is going to be lingering in corners and upsetting kitchen chairs for the rest of her life. Creepy, tedious, and noisy, all at the same time.
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Oh, thank the Goddess
- By Laura Pond on 11-14-24
By: Molly Milligan
What listeners say about That Bear Ate My Pants!
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Kindle Customer
- 11-10-23
Bear Are Pant
The performance was spot on and really enhanced this amusing story. Perfect escape reading.
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- J. Newton
- 04-04-24
Funny and engaging
This book is quite humorous and never allowed my mind to wander. I laughed out loud through the book and the narrator was great.
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- Amanda Fruth
- 09-29-20
Narrator is perfect
This was a hilarious story, but the narrator makes it even better. The author can be a bit of a pig at times, but overall the story is good.
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- Danny Jones
- 12-10-19
Another great read!!
This third book I have had the Great pleasure by Tony James Slater and; I can’t wait to enjoy my fourth!
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2 people found this helpful
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- Charles
- 01-23-21
The author finds humor in (almost) any situation
Tony James Slater clearly lives life to its fullest, no matter how daunting the circumstances -- in this case his experience volunteering at an underfunded Ecuadorian animal rehabilitation center. He finds humor - and sometimes hilarity - in the abysmal accommodations and the expectation that he will manage to single handedly construct huge enclosures, climb trees to bring down bears, retrieve missing large, toothy, sharp - clawed animals, or spend hours immobilized in a car packed to the roof with people, supplies, and several very incontinent animals - all without speaking a word of Spanish. The author recounts all of this in a way that recognizes his naivite (my euphemism for what he would probably call stupidity) in getting into these situations, while at the same time being very respectful of the centers mission and the people involved with it.
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1 person found this helpful
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- C C Johnson
- 05-23-23
Laughter is the best medicine
I read this whilst in great pain. The book and narration were engaging enough to transport me from my bed to an underfunded Ecuadorian animal preserve, wherein the experiences of a British, non-Spanish-speaking volunteer unfolded with mishaps galore. Mostly hilarious, with a few tender and a few serious moments mixed in, this is great. Give it a listen.
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2 people found this helpful