
The Dire Deeds
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Buy for $11.00
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Virtual Voice
-
By:
-
A. R. Marsh

This title uses virtual voice narration
About this listen
Oyster, burdened by this secret, soon shares the book with his unrequited crush, burlesque artiste Babe Bump (she/her), and their best friend, drag performer Tomma Bedlam (ze/zir). The three of them grow closer (and closer!) as they explore the book’s ever-changing number of pages and learn of its origin as the grimoire of an ancient English mystery school, The Guild of Ornamental Hermits.
The Book of Moons brings love, death, Elves, unsuspected family ties, and cosmic cracks in Time/Space, just as a greedy real-estate developer schemes to convert funky Hermitville into a posh eco-resort. Even worse, relentless interdimensional foes, pouring through cosmic cracks, target Hermitville and all life in the Hawaiian archipelago.
Even with ten dedicated Elven mentors and a crash course in Elven magic, will Oyster, Babe, Tomma, and the other residents of Hermitville be able to transform themselves in time from mere misfits and musicians into magicians powerful enough to join the Elves in halting the impending chaos and destruction? Will they all go down in defeat and the world with them, humans and elves alike?
Related to this topic
-
Project Hail Mary
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 16 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission - and if he fails, humanity and the Earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn't know that. He can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he's been asleep for a very, very long time. And he's just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company.
-
-
Bazinga
- By Davidgonzalezsr on 05-04-21
By: Andy Weir
-
The Signal
- By: Eric Buchman, Gabriel Urbina, Sarah Shachat
- Narrated by: Paget Brewster, full cast
- Length: 2 hrs and 39 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Two astronomers have detected a strange, pulsing signal from deep space. Within hours, the US government goes into lockdown, restricting airspace and scrubbing scientific data. Was the signal an intercepted communication revealing alarming plans for an enemy’s military strike? Or has humanity at long last found proof of extraterrestrial life?
-
-
it did a good job keep me listening but disappointed at the ending
- By Tristan M. on 12-21-24
By: Eric Buchman, and others
-
George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
-
-
A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
-
The Martian
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive - and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet.
-
-
I love Wil Wheaton but why not R. C. Bray?
- By L. Newman on 01-11-20
By: Andy Weir
-
Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
-
-
Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
-
Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
-
-
A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
-
Project Hail Mary
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 16 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission - and if he fails, humanity and the Earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn't know that. He can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he's been asleep for a very, very long time. And he's just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company.
-
-
Bazinga
- By Davidgonzalezsr on 05-04-21
By: Andy Weir
-
The Signal
- By: Eric Buchman, Gabriel Urbina, Sarah Shachat
- Narrated by: Paget Brewster, full cast
- Length: 2 hrs and 39 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Two astronomers have detected a strange, pulsing signal from deep space. Within hours, the US government goes into lockdown, restricting airspace and scrubbing scientific data. Was the signal an intercepted communication revealing alarming plans for an enemy’s military strike? Or has humanity at long last found proof of extraterrestrial life?
-
-
it did a good job keep me listening but disappointed at the ending
- By Tristan M. on 12-21-24
By: Eric Buchman, and others
-
George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
-
-
A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
-
The Martian
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive - and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet.
-
-
I love Wil Wheaton but why not R. C. Bray?
- By L. Newman on 01-11-20
By: Andy Weir
-
Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
-
-
Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
-
Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
-
-
A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
People who viewed this also viewed...
-
THE WITCHING WORK
- By: A. R. Marsh
- Narrated by: Virtual Voice
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
SECOND BOOK IN THE ENTHRALLING FANTASY SERIES THAT'S ALREADY EARNING RAVE REVIEWS FROM READERS: ‘A. R. Marsh's The Dire Deeds (The Guild of Ornamental Hermits Book 1) is jam-packed with gloriously spectral, flamboyantly festive rainbow-hued, unabashedly queer characters; penned with unquestionable verve, a thoroughly captivating style, and unquestionable panache; woven into a magical, metaphysical, metaphorical, and meta-fictional epic narrative, this is a book to be loved, written by someone who knows what love is--and how important that is for everyone right now.” Goodreads 5star ...
By: A. R. Marsh
-
The Fifth Artifact
- By: David Collins
- Narrated by: Virtual Voice
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ben, Chloe, Mark, and the others are off on another adventure, back where they had just stopped one interplanetary war. Now, they are searching for the mystery ship. What could it be up to? They rescue two new beings, but things go awry as their planet doesn't even want them back. Then they discover some more refugees, only some are not what they claim to be, and they land in the middle of another war, all while planning a wedding between Meera and Dylan. After that, the ship finds a derelict that looks like it came out of a 1950s campy movie, only one that someone shot full of holes.
By: David Collins
-
All His Pretty Girls
- Detective Alyssa Wyatt, Book 1
- By: Charly Cox
- Narrated by: Kate Zane
- Length: 11 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A woman is found naked, badly beaten and barely alive in the New Mexico mountains. The shocking discovery plunges Albuquerque Detective Alyssa Wyatt into a case that will test her to the limit. It appears that Callie McCormick is the latest plaything of a shadowy psychopath that leaves a long shadow on the streets of New Mexico - an individual linked to a string of deaths but leaving no evidence. But when Alyssa makes a breakthrough that just might reveal the killer, she unknowingly puts herself in the crosshairs of a brutal maniac - one with an old score to settle.
-
-
Do yourself a favor and GET THIS BOOK!!!!
- By shelley on 06-14-20
By: Charly Cox
-
The Child in My House
- By: Lucy Lawrie
- Narrated by: Harrie Dobby
- Length: 11 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Juliet only wanted to see her childhood home one more time–to look at it from the street. She never intended to meet the new owners, let alone talk her way into a position as their new live-in nanny. But it's too late now to tell the truth about who she really is. Six-year-old Kitty has progressive mutism and cannot speak. Nobody knows why she keeps making silent phone calls to the police. Juliet makes it her mission to find out. As Juliet settles into the house, nostalgia for her childhood gives way to uneasiness, as troubling memories surface.
-
-
So good! Had me hooked the whole time
- By Buddy on 06-18-23
By: Lucy Lawrie
-
Bentley
- Vested Interest Series, Book 1
- By: Melanie Moreland
- Narrated by: Maxine Mitchell, John Lane
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Three young men meet in university and form a lifelong friendship. Their pasts dictate the men they are, but their present shapes their future. What happens when these men meet the one person they are destined to be with? Can they fight their feelings and walk away? Or will they each succumb and learn the sweet agony of love?
-
-
FANTASTIC!! A Must Read!!
- By Shannon on 05-11-18
By: Melanie Moreland
-
Him
- By: JD Kirk
- Narrated by: David Tennant, Louise Brealey
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Sarah’s husband, Nick, is killed in a car accident, her world shatters. Facing a future without him seems impossible. But maybe she doesn't have to. When Sarah discovers EternaTech, the AI program Nick and his business partner have been working on in secret, she is given the chance to speak to Nick from beyond the grave. It sounds like him. It feels like him… As Sarah becomes consumed by her connection to this digital Nick, she begins uncovering secrets about his final days.
-
-
Mildly interesting story, but lost it for me..
- By TGR on 02-15-25
By: JD Kirk
-
THE WITCHING WORK
- By: A. R. Marsh
- Narrated by: Virtual Voice
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
SECOND BOOK IN THE ENTHRALLING FANTASY SERIES THAT'S ALREADY EARNING RAVE REVIEWS FROM READERS: ‘A. R. Marsh's The Dire Deeds (The Guild of Ornamental Hermits Book 1) is jam-packed with gloriously spectral, flamboyantly festive rainbow-hued, unabashedly queer characters; penned with unquestionable verve, a thoroughly captivating style, and unquestionable panache; woven into a magical, metaphysical, metaphorical, and meta-fictional epic narrative, this is a book to be loved, written by someone who knows what love is--and how important that is for everyone right now.” Goodreads 5star ...
By: A. R. Marsh
-
The Fifth Artifact
- By: David Collins
- Narrated by: Virtual Voice
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ben, Chloe, Mark, and the others are off on another adventure, back where they had just stopped one interplanetary war. Now, they are searching for the mystery ship. What could it be up to? They rescue two new beings, but things go awry as their planet doesn't even want them back. Then they discover some more refugees, only some are not what they claim to be, and they land in the middle of another war, all while planning a wedding between Meera and Dylan. After that, the ship finds a derelict that looks like it came out of a 1950s campy movie, only one that someone shot full of holes.
By: David Collins
-
All His Pretty Girls
- Detective Alyssa Wyatt, Book 1
- By: Charly Cox
- Narrated by: Kate Zane
- Length: 11 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A woman is found naked, badly beaten and barely alive in the New Mexico mountains. The shocking discovery plunges Albuquerque Detective Alyssa Wyatt into a case that will test her to the limit. It appears that Callie McCormick is the latest plaything of a shadowy psychopath that leaves a long shadow on the streets of New Mexico - an individual linked to a string of deaths but leaving no evidence. But when Alyssa makes a breakthrough that just might reveal the killer, she unknowingly puts herself in the crosshairs of a brutal maniac - one with an old score to settle.
-
-
Do yourself a favor and GET THIS BOOK!!!!
- By shelley on 06-14-20
By: Charly Cox
-
The Child in My House
- By: Lucy Lawrie
- Narrated by: Harrie Dobby
- Length: 11 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Juliet only wanted to see her childhood home one more time–to look at it from the street. She never intended to meet the new owners, let alone talk her way into a position as their new live-in nanny. But it's too late now to tell the truth about who she really is. Six-year-old Kitty has progressive mutism and cannot speak. Nobody knows why she keeps making silent phone calls to the police. Juliet makes it her mission to find out. As Juliet settles into the house, nostalgia for her childhood gives way to uneasiness, as troubling memories surface.
-
-
So good! Had me hooked the whole time
- By Buddy on 06-18-23
By: Lucy Lawrie
-
Bentley
- Vested Interest Series, Book 1
- By: Melanie Moreland
- Narrated by: Maxine Mitchell, John Lane
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Three young men meet in university and form a lifelong friendship. Their pasts dictate the men they are, but their present shapes their future. What happens when these men meet the one person they are destined to be with? Can they fight their feelings and walk away? Or will they each succumb and learn the sweet agony of love?
-
-
FANTASTIC!! A Must Read!!
- By Shannon on 05-11-18
By: Melanie Moreland
-
Him
- By: JD Kirk
- Narrated by: David Tennant, Louise Brealey
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Sarah’s husband, Nick, is killed in a car accident, her world shatters. Facing a future without him seems impossible. But maybe she doesn't have to. When Sarah discovers EternaTech, the AI program Nick and his business partner have been working on in secret, she is given the chance to speak to Nick from beyond the grave. It sounds like him. It feels like him… As Sarah becomes consumed by her connection to this digital Nick, she begins uncovering secrets about his final days.
-
-
Mildly interesting story, but lost it for me..
- By TGR on 02-15-25
By: JD Kirk